Just in time for an unforgettable Thanksgiving, canned unicorn meat is here. Yes, this is a real product which you can purchase and open.
Originally an April Fool’s joke over at ThinkGeek, the site ran into a bit of legal trouble after the Pork Board sent them a C&D for appropriating their slogan, “The Other White Meat.”
After retooling the product formula and a new tagline, canned unicorn meat is here. It’s really just a quartered and sliced unicorn plushie in a can, but that’s still pretty cool.
I have not personally tested this product but it appears to be an excellent source of sparkles.
Canned Unicorn Meat [ThinkGeek]
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“I have not personally tested this product but it appears to be an excellent source of sparkles.”
If you RTFA, sparkles are not found on the body of a unicorn. It provides you with your FDA allotment of magic, dreams, wishes, giggles, smiles, rainbows, stars, happiness, kisses, love, sunshine, surprises, hugs, hopes, and (who knew?) superglue.
Sorry, Ben, but…
You’ve been RTFA’d!
If you would RTFC (Read The F***’n Can) you would see it actually says “Excellent source of sparkles”.
Hmm, they claim “Excellent source of sparkles!”, but I see no mention of the sparkles in the cuts of meat. This is shady advertising claims!
Okay, Ben – I’ll call this one a draw.
I like how you get to call a draw with Ben on a debate that never existed, seeing as Ben never engaged you on this foolishness (and rightly so). Also, calling a draw when you were wrong?
Man up and admit you were being an ass and an idiot. Then apologize.
Well, to be fair, it is a bit like the Black Knight saying “All right, we’ll call it a draw.”
(Bonus points to those who get the reference…)
No bonus points… do not give bonus points for a reference that should be clearly understood no matter what.
If you have to give bonus points than I fart in your general direction.
WTF?
In TFA the second line is “Excellent source of sparkles!” The can states “Excellent source of sparkles”
Besides, everyone knows that this product contains plenty of the good old vitamin S without having to artificially fortify it which would require a separate ingredient listing.
I think you’ve been RTFA’d
The description of the product also states “Sparkly meat lends the unmistakable air of class and sophistication to your parties.”
Please stop with the RTFA. It smacks of egotism and self-importance, and when someone called you out all you could say was Hmm and call it a draw.
The beating will continue until moral improves.
Stop being an idiot already. Please.
Right on the can: “Excellent source of sparkles”.
In the product specs: “•Sparkly meat lends the unmistakable air of class and sophistication to your parties”.
Ben’s own post that you’re complainign about said “I have not personally tested this product but it appears to be an excellent source of sparkles”.
It doesn’t MATTER what the diagram shows, he’s referring to the can’s claims and the product specs. Which means you, yourself, did not RTFA, or you would have known that.
You’re just plain annoying, given the fact that most of the time you gloss over specifics of the article and are merely looking for an internet argument.
I rarely don’t make an honest attempt to see every word of an article, even the long ones. I also don’t RTFA you unless you ask a question that is clearly answered in the article, or contradict something clearly stated in the article. I won’t RTFA you if you miss something suble or a more complex concept.
And here, it’s clearly an article meant for levity. So, just relax and enjoy the unicorns!
I think you are losing credibility trying to explain this one. You missed the italic point of the article, stood up and yelled about the author not RTFA, and now are trying to explain it away. RTFA yourself, fall on the sword, and the overall pain may be lessened. Keep trying to justify your own F-up, and it just makes you sound like a hypocrite.
Yes, this is a light article, but your first post was clearly lacking a sarcasm or joke tag, so you have to face the consequences!
Do you really need a /joke tag on an article about Unicorns?
Maybe I’m biased, because I know I DID read the article, which no one can prove/disprove, including myself. However, I did have to hand rtpe all the cuts of unicorn meat, so that would show I took some time to understand the article.
But if you truly require me to fall on the sword, I have no objection in this case.
I’ve been RTFA’d!
Dude, enough already.
Hate to break it you you but you didn’t RTFP (read the friendly picture), the can clearly says that unicorn meat is an excellent source of sparkles.
That. Just. Happened.
The FDA recommends you limit your intake of sparkles to 50 miliTwilights a day.
I’m sorry.
…will it grant wishes?
It will if you wish for unicorn meat.
product WIN
I’m not that cruel, but my preschool-age daughter, whose world is a carefully constructed universe of rainbows and angels and princesses, would cry a fucking Ganges if she opened this… mutilated unicorns have no place in her pink, sparkly-filled reality.
“would cry a fucking Ganges”
That made me laugh so hard. The visual images going through my head are stunning.
Me too! So tired of this “cry me a river” garbage. Now we have to start naming the rivers!
Cry me a “D” River! (this is a TINY chunk of water in Oregon that has been called the shortest river in the world in the past).
Might as well buy some. In a few years, she’ll be up for it, and since it’s canned it’ll keep forever.
What kind of meat is it? Spam? is spam made form unicorns? is that why i love spam so much?!?!?!?
I hear that it will make you horny
That’s the FDA/EPA for ya,
We can eat all the unicorns we want, but one restaurant finally starts selling some delicious whale meat from the back of a van in their parking lot and it is shut down immediately.
Last I checked there were far more whales than unicorns >
I’d like to order just the horn, I wonder if you can use the horn like a wand, or do you have to eat it to get the magic..
It’s unicorn hair that is used as the core of magic wands.
Drinking the blood of a unicorn will keep you alive even if you are an inch from death, so the gravy should at least make you immortal.
HP WIN +1
You have to polish the horn for a bit and then the magic comes out. Probably NSFW: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qDsqPaJht0
Call me when they open up a KFG by my house (Kentucky Fried Griffon).
So that’s what happens when you dash when you should have jumped…
So many people on my message board holiday grab bags are gonna get this from me.
Ben – 1
Loias – 0
No Draw here. Loias loses.
Well THAT was supposed to go somewhere else! I will just use the comment editing feature to fix it…..oh wait!
Clearly, YOU lose : – )
Acknowledged. I fail with the commenting system. I feel good that I am in excellent company, with many other members of the community that have struggled with double posts and inappropriately linked replies. DOH!
Ben – 1
Loias – 0
Platypi – Ejected for unsportsmanlike conduct
I like the cut of your jib.
I’ll try it once I see a Representative from the manufacturer eat one. I suspect plushies don’t go down easy.
Just need some nice chipotle BBQ sauce and slow cook it in a crockpot.
They will if your suit has a properly placed zipper. Wait, what kind of plushies are you talking about?
Awww, I was hoping it would be Pinko Brand Unicorn Meat. I am disappointed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=182sPmNJV2w
“Taste the rainbow!”
Wait…will it be subjected to the shrink ray in the future? If so, I want to stock up now…
Does anyone but me find it strange that on Think Geek’s website, they say the “product” in the an is 14ounces, yet you can clearly see the can in picture reads “5.5oz.” Not that I care. I just found it odd. I’m still buying a can for an x-mas gift. I think its really cool.
14 oz is the shipping weight including the can. 5.5 oz is the weight of the plushie (net weight)?
I’ve ordered 3 as gifts.
I like the picture. Funny!