What Fictional Products Do You Wish Were Real?

Re-watching the Back to the Future movies recently, I remembered how deeply the tween me once longed for a hover board like the one Michael J. Fox races around the Hill Valley of 2015. While it’s unlikely that we’ll see a real hover board on the market in the next five years, the 30-something me still wants one.

Over at TheGloss, they have a rundown of the 10 Best Fictional Beauty Products, which encompasses everything from The Beach cologne from Seinfeld to Dapper Dan pomade from O Brother Where Art Thou? to Dr. Flimflam’s Miracle Cream from Futurama.

Just off the top of our collective heads, there’s also the cool inventions like Flubber, the yummy snacks like 30 Rock’s Sabor de Soledad chips, the disgusting devices like Bass-O-Matic from Saturday Night Live and the downright dangerous Cornballer from Arrested Development.

Which products do you wish would make the leap from the screen to reality?

10 Best Fictional Beauty Products [TheGloss.com]

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  1. backinpgh says:

    The Orgazmorator.

  2. Grungo says:

    LOG (TM), from Blammo!

    • YouDidWhatNow? says:

      I have one. Seriously…they came to the market like 10 years ago. I have it proudly on display, along with my Dr. Stupid statue.

    • PencilSharp says:

      Lord help me, I still remember the lyrics (sort of)…

      Whaaat… rolls downstairs
      alone or in pairs,
      rolls over your neighbor’s dog?
      What fits on your back,
      is great for a snack?
      It’s Log, Log, LOG!

      It’s LAAWG, it’s LAAAWG!
      It’s big; it’s heavy; it’s wood!
      It’s LAAAWG, it’s LAAAAAWG!
      It’s better than bad; it’s good!

      Everyone wants a LOG!
      C’mon and get your LOG!
      Everyone needs a LOG!
      Everyone wants a log, log, log, log, LOG!

      (v/o) Log! From Blammo!

  3. YouDidWhatNow? says:

    When can I order my Lucy Liubot?

  4. Outrun1986 says:

    Computer Book from Inspector Gadget!!!!

    • MercuryPDX says:

      That’s actually not too far off: http://kno.com/

      • Outrun1986 says:

        iPad with 3G access would be close especially with a folding case, but its still lacking facetime which would be needed to communicate with the little watch brain wears. Or were the communicators separate, I forget.

        The current Nano could serve as the communicator watch, but it would need some type of communications service, a camera and a mic or at least wireless headphones. Looks like apple could possibly pull it off someday.

        But the computer book allows programming of other gadgets like to diffuse bombs and stuff (assuming wirelessly) and as far as I know the iPad can’t do that haha.

        • theblackdog says:

          The watch communicator was separate from the book and Penny wore that, while Brain’s collar had a video camera, microphone, and earpiece extend when penny called him.

          However, it seemed like Penny could access a few computer book functions from her watch, but she definitely used that book way more.

        • El_Red says:

          Then you need something phone from Futurama. It is installed behind your eye!

  5. jurisenpai says:

    Torgo’s Executive Powder.

  6. mxjohnson says:

    Va-POO-Rize, from “Envy”

  7. MaliBoo Radley says:

    Skittlebrau.

  8. MutantMonkey says:

    Officials that aren’t corrupt.

  9. McRib wants to know if you've been saved by the Holy Clown says:

    That fizzy drink in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory that makes you float until you burp.

  10. Platypi {Redacted} says:

    Brawndo, the Thirst MUTILATOR. It’s got electrolytes.

  11. tbax929 says:

    When I was a kid I was convinced we’d be living like the Jetsons by the time I grew up. Alas, I don’t have a robot, food that shows up with the push of a button, or a flying car.

  12. The cake is a lie! says:

    Name your weapon from Unreal Tournament or Half Life. Actually, speaking of half life, I’d love to have a Portal gun too. I’ve got use for that all the freaking time.

    The Wonkavator would be pretty sweet. Just having a teleporter would be good enough though. Oh, and a holodeck. I would totally get one of those.

    An Apple ‘i’ product that worked like it should right out of the box without needing to jailbreak it and install a bunch of aftermarket apps would be great too, but we know that will never happen. (there hasn’t been enough Apple bashing this week, so I figured I’d take a shot)

    The wishing rock would be great.

    And of course the crown jewel would be a transmogrifier. I would kill for one of those. Seriously. Just point the dude out and he is dead if you can get me a box that turns my worthless stuff into gold. Drop in an iPhone and out pops an Android. What a device that would be!!! (two shots in one post! I’m a genius!)

  13. Admiral_John says:

    The little lightsaber from the HGTTG movie that slices bread and toasts it at the same time.

  14. CookiePuss says:

    One of those “Weird Science” 1985 super computers. Make it happen Apple.

  15. bee8boo8bop8 says:

    A babelfish!

  16. rahntwo says:

    Only possible answer….Holodeck without a doubt.

  17. Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

    Magic wands, and schools for Witchcraft and Wizardry.

  18. HalOfBorg says:

    Suicide Booth from Futurama or the disintegration booth from Star Trek. Either one works for me.

  19. Tim says:

    Strong Bad’s Ab Abber 2000, hands down.

    “They’ll be all up ons!”

  20. osiris73 says:

    I have to go with the Holodeck. Although I bet we’re going to have a similar thing that plugs into our brains first. Seems more practical.

    Oh, and Happy Fun Ball.

  21. Nighthawke says:

    One holosuite with all of Quark’s holos. He seems to have some of the risque stuff that you can’t get (or do) on a starship.

    Blade Runner’s flying car. That was a killer sequence watching it fly past you, purring away.

    Oh, and one Happy Fun Ball to bounce of McFly’s head once in a while…. ^.^

    • adamstew says:

      The creation of the holodeck would create one unfortunate job: The one who has to squeegee the holodeck clean after each “use”.

      • redskull says:

        Time to show my nerd cred: At least once it was mentioned that the Enterprise D had a system that allowed the ship to clean itself (24th century Roombas?). I assume “holodeck matter” would fall under that system.

      • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

        eh, it’s like an anti replicator. if the holodeck has replicator technology to create things to interact with, then when it dissipates those creations back into energy to empty the holodeck, i’d guess it would be designed to dissipate any detritus or ick left behind as well.

  22. Squard says:

    Casa Bonita’s restaurant franchise from South Park

    Old Fortran Malt Liquor & Bikini in a Can from Futurama

  23. Doubts42 says:

    Bongsabers from Jay and Silent Bob

  24. swarrior216 says:

    Proton Pack.

  25. ben gardners boat says:

    Tomacco

  26. ovalseven says:

    I want the remote control that Adam Sandler’s character used in “Click”.

  27. There's room to move as a fry cook says:

    Nose lights.
    To light up your dark nostrils.
    Comes in 4 exciting colors.
    Choice is yours.

  28. redskull says:

    I’ll have to go with Holodeck as well. Minus all the malfunctions that make stuff become real and trap you inside with it, of course.

    I also wouldn’t mind having a Tantalus Field from the “Mirror, Mirror” episode of Star Trek. It was a little TV screen that could show you any person, and if you pushed the button while they were on the screen, they disappeared in a flash of light. I could wear that thing out on the first day.

  29. ellemdee says:

    Transporters. I hate commuting.

  30. Unclaoshi says:

    The 3 seashells from Demolition man

  31. TheGreySpectre says:

    Gravity Gun, Portal Gun, Iron Man Suit, Mechwarrior, Hoverboard, Power Laces, Light saber, Hyperdrive, Replicator, Hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy, Infinite probability drive, Pan Galactic Gargleblaster, Teleporter, Speeder bikes, hover cars, holodeck, time machine, invisibility cloak, cryo stasis, Teraformers, true AI

    • Ravant says:

      Those are all nice… but as far as hyperdrive, or any faster-than-light travel, communication with Earth would suck without any way of sending the signals faster than light, too.

      Out of your list, I pick them all, but add the communications devices, a droid (real, not a phone) or two, and an X-Wing.

    • Rommel says:

      BattleMech*

      MechWarrior is the pilot.

  32. suez says:

    I want a glass elevator like in Willy Wonka so I can fly over DC Beltway traffic.

    Ditto on the Holodeck, too. Helloooo, Han Solo! ;^)

  33. THINK_before_posting says:

    What about Jeanie in her bottle? C’mon guys… Where’s the love?

  34. MongoAngryMongoSmash says:

    Stargate and DHD.

  35. Torchwood says:

    Gimmie a TARDIS.

  36. Macgyver says:

    The Stargate
    That remote control from Sliders, that they used to travel between dimensions.
    A F-302
    The Deathstar
    A Holodeck
    The Daedalus
    The Destiny

  37. moonunitrappa says:

    A holodeck would be nice, but I’d rather visit family and friends (real and not imagined) whenever the mood struck me.

    Transporters are at the top of my list. Get cracking on that sciencefolk.

  38. SableHemlock says:

    Tantrum, from How I Met Your Mother. It would be even more insane than Red Bull.

  39. There's room to move as a fry cook says:

    Gravity defying hover technology. From BTTF hoverboards (pic above) to SWROTJ spaceships & floating spybots it solves all kinds of issues.

  40. smbizowner says:

    An Autochef (JD Robb)

    a Zat’nik’tel

    beaming technology and warp drives

  41. squirrel says:

    Trioxin, definitely trioxin.

  42. SecretShopper: pours out a lil' liquor for the homies Wasp & Otter says:

    a fizzy moe, it makes four loko look like kool-aid

  43. Murph1908 says:

    Cyber eye with video recording functionality.

  44. GoodBytes says:

    Star Trek Replicator!

  45. NumberSix says:

    Total Recall Body Scanners.

  46. PunditGuy says:

    So many practical things from science fiction — stillsuits, replicators (Star Trek, not Stargate), M41-A pulse rifle, power loader, Deckard’s voice-activated photo scanner, warp drive (I’ll settle for hyperspace), oscillation overthruster, tractor beams…

  47. PencilSharp says:
  48. bluline says:

    Invisibility cloak (Harry Potter).

  49. Murph1908 says:

    The pocket watch from The Girl, the Gold Watch, and Everything.

  50. segfault, registered cat offender says:

    Not really a product, but the TARDIS.

  51. Jack Handy Manny says:

    Hoverboard for sure and the lightsaber

  52. framitz says:

    A safe time machine should be all I need . . .

  53. Wally East says:

    I know it’s addictive but, Slurm.

  54. Happy Tinfoil Cat says:

    Time machine. There have been various versions but I kinda like the Delorian.

    • Happy Tinfoil Cat says:

      If I can’t have one of those, then a ‘squid’ from Strange Days or even better the device from Brainstorm is easier to wear.

    • JulesNoctambule says:

      The TARDIS beats that any day! Unlimited storage, space travel and an indoor pool.

  55. Wrayvin says:

    Star Trek Replicator or that similar one from 5th Element. Would make cooking Thanksgiving dinner so easy!!!

  56. rookie says:

    I want Wolverine’s skeleton.

    and,
    hiz claws…

  57. alexwade says:

    Dr. Pepper with real sugar. It might as well be fictional since it is impossible to find it.

  58. stevenpdx says:

    Duff Beer. OH YEAH!

  59. dr_ting says:

    It’s from a comic strip, but I want the Transmogrifier/Duplicator/Time Machine Box from Calvin & Hobbes

  60. Sparkstalker says:

    Competent and non-invasive airport security?

  61. absherlock says:

    Reed Richard’s unstable molecules.

  62. tiz says:
  63. JulesNoctambule says:

    A magic wand and the ability to use it.

  64. biggeek says:

    The orgasmatron is a fictional device in the fictional future society of 2173 in the Woody Allen movie Sleeper. It is a large cylinder big enough to contain one or two people. Once entered, it contains some (otherwise undescribed) future technology that rapidly induces orgasms. This is required, as almost all people in the Sleeper universe are impotent or frigid, although males of Italian descent are considered the least impotent of all groups.

    The main character Miles Monroe, played by Allen, is being hunted by the police as being subversive to security of the state, and attempts to hide in it, thinking it is a closet. He is discovered there, and easily captured in a daze, with a sheepish smile on his face.

    Another, related device, an orb also appears in this movie. It is a silver-colored sphere about the size of a grapefruit that contains some (otherwise undescribed) future technology. When the orb is touched by a human, it induces pleasurable sensations. In a scene where Miles impersonates a robotic servant, he is ordered by the hostess to pass the orb among the guests. Unlike the robot he is imitating, he is not immune to the effects of the orb. Much physical humor results from his reaction to firmly holding this device, which party participants only lightly caress.

    Later on, they encounter a gay male couple, one of whom offers Miles a “hit off the orb”. Miles reports that he’s “cool” and does not need to indulge. It appears the effect of the orb is more like social drinking or drug use, pleasurable rather than orgasmic.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orgasmatron

  65. rdldr1 says:

    Soylent Green. Great way to maximize nutrition.

  66. SilverBlade2k says:

    Replicator/Holodeck/Teleporter.

  67. asten77 says:

    Mr. Fusion!

  68. Clyde Barrow says:

    Oh how about the idea from the TOS Star Trek when Mudd had all those beautiful female androids to care for. =)

  69. HogwartsProfessor says:

    I want a holodeck!! And a food replicator!! No more cooking, EVAH, and I can have my replicated tiny pies with a facsimile of Captain Picard!

  70. P=mv says:

    LIGHTSABER!!

    Why have I not seem this listed yet. Of course, the holodeck is a very close second.

  71. digisplicer says:
  72. bovinekid says:

    Quietus, from Children of Men.

  73. Difdi says:

    The depilatory cream used by Captain Kirk (a month between uses, gentle enough for facial hair).

  74. libertysubvian says:

    OMG I totally want a sonic screwdriver, like Dr Who uses…. That would be awesome. :-)

  75. startertan says:

    Happy Fun Ball

  76. Jennlee says:

    Star Trek Transporter! No more dealing with airports and TSA!

  77. pot_roast says:

    The food machine from the USS Enterprise from Star Trek. I’d love to be able to walk up to a machine and say “Steak!” and have it hand me a perfectly done steak.

    Not the one from Red Dwarf.. it kept handing out boots. :/

    • haggis for the soul says:

      I would like to have one of the cat books from Red Dwarf, to see what it’s like to have a whole story told in smells. Or maybe not.

  78. Greyfox2401 says:

    Micheal Jackson and Ronald Reagan AI waiters selling me pepsi through vaccum pipes.

    at least I still have 67 years until I get my PIP-Boy 3000 and Nuka-Cola.

    Oh yeah… mutants with 3 boobs like Total Recall

  79. KLETCO says:

    Butterbeer (although it does technically exist at Universal Studios, I haven’t had it yet and I imagine that it won’t meet my high expectations)

    Mr. Fusion

    Cornballer

  80. nodaybuttoday says:

    A replicator