Man Forced To Eat Own Beard In Botched Lawnmower Sale

Two men are being sentenced for cutting off another man’s beard and demanding at knife and gunpoint that he eat it because they thought he was cheating them in a used lawnmower sale.

“Troy offered to buy it from me for two hundred and fifty dollars. I paid twenty bucks for it. He thought I was trying to cheat him,” said the man who now has a shorter beard. “One thing led to another, and before I knew it, there were knives and guns and everything just went haywire.”

It seems confusing as to why a man would get mad for offering a price and then accusing the other person for ripping them off —until you consider that the would-be buyers were drunk.

Different places have different way of resolving contractual disputes, In Lexington, it’s through mandatory binding beard-eating,

Man’s Beard Was Cut, Stuffed In His Mouth During Fight [Lex18 via Gawker]

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  1. hypnotik_jello says:

    “Two men are being sentenced for cutting off another man’s beard and demanding at knife and gunpoint because he thought he was cheating them in a used lawnmower sale.”

    Demanding at knife and gunpoint?

    Demanding at knife and gunpoint that he eat it?

    Proofread fail

  2. darcmosch says:

    Only in the South! YEEEEEE-HAAAAWWWWW

  3. 3rdUserName says:

    That’s “Southern Style” for ya..

  4. StuffThingsObjects says:

    Kevin Christopher? What a terrible name.

  5. PaRa02 says:

    Dey took ma beard!

  6. sufreak says:

    I read the article. I read the post. I don’t get it. He [Troy?] offered a larger sum than the owner [Harvey?] originally paid for it?

    If Troy offered the money, then why did he get upset? He made an offer. It doesn’t seem like Harvey demanded $250 for it.

    Crappy article, story, and post. Lets stay out of Kentucky and Florida.

  7. Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

    If I understand this correctly, This guy bought this lawnmower for $20 some time previously. Now, someone wanted to buy it from him and he offered $250.

    Now, I’m just a simple man, but if you feel that $250 is too much to pay for a lawnmower that was previously bought for $20, wouldn’t you just say “no” and be done with it?

    • c!tizen says:

      I see your problem here, you’re associating logic with two idiots with a knife and a gun.

    • Difdi says:

      Not if the person wanting to buy the $20 lawnmower were drunk, offered $250 for it, managed to forget their offer between the time the sale was agreed to and the time they got out their wallet, then decided the lawnmower wasn’t worth $250.

      Suddenly there’s this jerk demanding $250 for a piece of crap lawnmower, and dammit, that’s intolerable! Let’s make the scumbag scammer eat his beard, that’ll teach him!

  8. TerpBE says:

    Jeez…another “man forced to eat his own beard over a lawnmower dispute” story. Haven’t we heard enough of these lately?

  9. There's room to move as a fry cook says:

    This happened last May. His beard must grow as slowly as his speech.

  10. Blueskylaw says:

    You can buy a new mower for $250 but I digress.

    Aside from the seriousness of the situation it is hilarious on the surface. That beard must have been a full meal with leftovers for lunch.

    Cupcakes anyone?

    • There's room to move as a fry cook says:

      It’s a ride on mower. $1,000+ new at Home Depot

    • Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

      It’s a ride-on mower, probably with seat warmers and cup holders and shit, with racket-peanut steering that turns on a potato chip.

      You’ve been RTFA’d!

      (This one’s for you, Einstein!)

  11. xspook says:

    By the looks of him, he probably had a weeks worth of groceries stuck in that thing anyways.

    • RadarOReally has got the Post-Vacation Blues says:

      Har, har, yes, he’s fat so he deserved it.

    • dolemite says:

      I chuckled. On a side note…these guys threatened bodily harm/death with guns and knives and forced someone to eat their own body pieces, and are only getting a small fine and “supervision diversion” (whatever the heck that is).

  12. savvy9999 says:

    Only way this could be worse is if it was a bunch of southern women forcing each other to eat their beards.

    yikes.

  13. seth_lerman says:

    More important, where do I get a hat like his?

    • LadySiren is murdering her kids with HFCS and processed cheese says:

      You can buy them at the Citgo down yonder on Highway 49, here in NC. They have the Stars ‘n Bars on pink caps too, for us Rebel ladies.

  14. IT-Princess: I work in IT, you owe me $1 says:

    This man oozes sex and cupcakes. I’d buy a lawnmower from him.

  15. dolemite says:

    I’d hate to have that text under my picture. Could have been worse though..could have been the “lower beard”.

  16. curmudgeon5 says:

    Read the comments on the article. They’re fantastic.

    • UltimateOutsider says:

      I was just coming here to mention that. The comments are more entertaining than the actual news story.

    • Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

      My questiona are, when did Kentucky get the internet, how the hell did they figure out how to write comments on there, and how in tarnation did they learn about online news?!

  17. dr_drift says:

    And people thought I was stupid for walking around with a gummy beard. Who’s laughing now?

  18. MarvinMar says:

    I’m waiting for the Autotune remix of this.

  19. XBL: Legend xKWx (Kyle) says:

    “johnny max at Nov 12th 2010 11:02 AM

    What people don’t understand is that this is only the beginning. Under the socialalize beard monitoring program of BARACK HUSSEIGN OBAMA all god fear folks of Jesus will be forced to submit to mandatory government beard inspection programs. I have many sources in government who have confirmed this without doubt, and they will try to say it is to prevent terrorism (beard inspections can find terrorist) but the real reason is to harvest the beards of hard working honest americans to weave into clothing and food for wealfare sucking illegals who are sneaking across our borders.

    I urge all freedom loving americans to stand research this further and come to their own conclusions, do not listen to government lib controlled media like lex18, msnbc and others. I appluad westmoreland for speaking out and standing up for the obama beard menace. This is why I voted for Rand paul. thank you and god bless.”

    Stay classy Kentucky.

  20. Portlandia says:

    My favorite line is:

    “One thing lead to another and before I knowed it there wuz kniiives and guuns and everything just went hay-wur!”

  21. 24gotham says:

    Big story!?!? Really?? This is hard hitting news?

  22. whgt says:

    I live in Lexington…this did not happen here…”Lawrenceburg Circuit Court”

    Every state has their downsides I guess.

  23. stock2mal says:

    Ladies and Gentlemen, meet the voters who propelled Rand Paul to victory.

  24. sopmodm14 says:

    doesn’t matter the idiot who wanted to pay $250 for a $20 mower is still the bigger idiot

  25. carefree dude says:

    I’m going to ask the question we’re all thinking in the back of our minds:

    How’d it taste?

    • Portlandia says:

      How do you think two week old chicken grease, stale bread crumbs and dandruff tastes when mixed with unwashed human facial hair?

      And…gag…neck beard….gag….

  26. Helix Queen says:

    nom nom nom

  27. dush says:

    How much beard did he have if he was forced to eat most of it but still has all that left over on his face??

  28. INsano says:

    Dey cut mah beard and a-fuhorced me to eat it.

    Best consumerist post ever.

  29. xspook says:

    I can tell by the hat – I mean hay-ut, that he’s a ladies man.

  30. buzz says:

    This made it on Conan last night.

    Funny, but pitiful. Makes me soooo proud to be a Kentuckian… :P

    I promise, there really are some intelligent people here.

  31. physics2010 says:

    Kevin was misquoted. What he actually said was, “One thing led to another, and before I KNOWED it, there were knives and guns and everything just went haywire.”