We have enough fart, funny picture manipulator, and Starcraft build simulator apps. How about something utile for a change? Lost at E Minor has several propositions, including the “ex” radar that tracks your significant ex so you can avoid running into them in person. Of course, this could be use by stalkers to make sure they run into their ex, but let’s not kill the joke with overthinking.
8 iPhone Apps I Wish Existed [College Humor]



![[I Don't Want Your F***ing App]](http://consumermediallc.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/tumblr_mm2vg8oomh1spd2y3o1_500.png?w=100&h=100&crop=1)




The title of this article makes no sense…it’s missing the verb. How an App that warns you when your ex is near WHAT?
It’s probably supposed to be “How about an app”. The near is implying near to you.
Maybe. Could also be supposed to be “how an app that warns you when your ex is near can ruin your life” or some such.
It’s a mystery!
If you actually read the 1 paragraph article, it’s not such a mystery…
Sorry, I guess I forgot my /sarcasm tag…
Gabby Johnson: How An App That Warns You When Your Ex Is N*clock bell chimes*
Harriet Johnson: What did he say?
Dr. Sam Johnson: He said your Ex is Near.
Gabby Johnson: No, gone blame it dang blammit! How An App That Warns You When Your Ex Is N*clock bell chimes*
Baby, you are SO talented… and they are SO dumb!
now that’s authentic frontier jibberish
“A8″
“You sunk my relationship!”‘
Excellent.
Is this a typo? Did you mean “Now an app . . .”?
People still use the word utile?
I thought it made Ben sound terribly intelligent! I don’t think I’ve ever heard (read) someone say that before.
i think you’d have to get your ex to download this as well, no? or would it track by a phone number?
Your cell phone always knows where you are. A simple GPS interface, and – voila!
Well yes. but it’s getting access to the other person’s GPS that’s the issue.
How about people learn the proper social skills to deal with this situation?
Some exes can’t act like normal people even when you try and be normal, civil, and not nuts. My ex is a psycho, for example, and nothing I do is going to change things. He simply will not take his medication. I can’t really fix that.
An app isn’t going to fix that either. It’s not like you can force him to carry an Ex Signal Emitter.
Most exes do have an “Ex Signal Emitter”
It’s called a cell phone. It can locate your position within meters, even when you’re not using it – as long as it’s turned on.
The public doesn’t have access to your location through the air, nor will the cell carrier just allow the public to see their customer’s location. So unless the ex installs an app that purposely allows the other ex to see their location, the app wouldn’t be possible.
Exactly. And a lot of those ‘location apps’ allow you to lie to people other than the phone company about where you are – IIRC, you can tell Google’s app to keep your location set at a particular spot (such as work) rather than where you really are.
If he’s truly psycho, then it sounds like you need a PFA order and a CCW permit.
Sure. That’s the answer. Don’t avoid your psycho ex. Buy a gun.
Yes, but if he is a ‘psycho’ and is stalking her, threatening violence, etc. then a restraining order is completely reasonable. If he doesn’t abide by it, then odds are local law enforcement will do very little and it’s up to her to defend herself.
Can i do both? avoid AND CCW?
Taking the possible app just a bit further…. how about when the boss is nearby? Better than having to draw straws every week for who has to try to hang the cowbell around his neck every Monday….
That sounds like an awful lot of work. I think I’ll just get the app.
Yea, I would use this app for evil purposes. I would relay her location to her creditors – Muahhhh ha ha ha!
No honey, I’m not watching porn, I’m on consumerist.
Thanks cool app
9 meters, 7, 6.
That can’t be, that’s inside the room.
It’s reading right man, look.
game over man…game over
AHHHHHHH! She’s gonna eat me!!
And their IP address is 127.0.0.1!
I’d prefer a sword that glows blue when exes are near. MUCH more practical, for obvious reasons.
Wait, why would you ever date an orc?
For the hot sex. Giggety.
I was young and dumb. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How about an app that gives crabs to ex girlfriends?