Study: If You Like Your Sperm, Don't Put Your Laptop On Your Lap

Just because they call it a laptop computer doesn’t mean you should put it on your lap — especially if you’re a male who is hoping to reproduce, says a new study.

The study, led by a urologist at SUNY Stony Brook and published in the journal Fertility and Sterility, says that the heat from laptops is just too darn hot, even when using a pad under the computer, for the little swimmers.

Says the doc behind the study, “Within 10 or 15 minutes their scrotal temperature is already above what we consider safe, but they don’t feel it.”

In addition to the heat from the laptop, perching the computer on one’s legs generally requires one to keep their legs together. This also raises the temperature of the testes.

Even with a large lap pad that would allow the user to spread their legs wider, the study still found it only took 30 minutes for the testes to overheat.

The study warns against frequent laptop use, saying that not giving your guys some cool-down time could contribute to reproductive problems:

I wouldn’t say that if someone starts to use laptops they will become infertile… No matter what you do, even with the legs spread wide apart, the temperature is still going to be higher than what we call safe.

Laptop use on laps might reduce sperm quality: report [Reuters]

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  1. RandomHookup says:

    I’m just here for the Monty Python references.

    • Red Cat Linux says:

      Yeah, that pretty much snagged my attention too.

      Although, wouldn’t the male of the species be aware that their twigs and berries were on fire? I mean, the way it reads, it might as well be boiling pitch.

      • Paladin_11 says:

        Look, if you just put one of those little rubber thingies between your laptop and your John Thomas you’ll be right. You know… a tray.

      • Doubts42 says:

        Nah, it only takes a few degrees of variance to hurt motility and potency. That’s why the scrotum is on the outside. Internal body temp would roast the little guys.

    • GalenVanHalen says:

      every sperm is sacred

  2. Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

    Oh please. Nothing that James Westfall, Dr. Kenneth Noisewater, and the Octogon can’t handle.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anchorman:_The_Legend_of_Ron_Burgundy#Cast_of_characters

    • Angus99 says:

      Loias, by following your link and giggling while reading the article instead of working, I found out about “Wake Up, Ron Burgundy – The Lost Movie” that I never knew existed. On it’s way to me now via Amazon, and if we ever meet, I will buy you a great big drink of your choice. Or perhaps a leather-bound book. Maybe even a bottle of Sex Panther.

  3. RandomHookup says:

    I’m just here for the Monty Python references.

  4. comatose says:

    Wow, holy overheated testes Batman!

    We need a testes cooler. Water cooled would be even better. Antec makes a good one.

  5. SimplyStating says:

    So many directions to go with this.. So little time.. But wow the visuals.. So fellas just ensure if you must compute while sitting and using a laptop to leave your legs wide open and place a fan in the vacinity. Or hell this could be the greatest thing since the pill lol.. Your women every where will be so happy knowing that if they OOPS and FORGET then hey you still know your man is computing daily so no worries lol..

  6. Platypi {Redacted} says:

    Sweet, free birth control!

  7. andyg8180 says:

    so they finally invented male birth control… for the very low price of FREE!!

  8. Sian says:

    Reproduction is overrated. I can just download one off the internet, right?

  9. Applekid ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ) says:

    It’s like the modern-day rebirth of the old “nah, you can’t get pregnant if we do it in the hot tub, baby!”

  10. Pinkbox says:

    Didn’t stop me from getting pregnant. Ha!

  11. segfault, registered cat offender says:

    That cat is a terrorist, making terrorist plans…

  12. Brian says:

    This is news? A quick search turns up a 6-year-old article containing quotes from the same doctor:

    http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/17664.php

  13. sirwired says:

    I don’t know about the rest of you, but I have no problem whatsoever with using a laptop without heating my privates. You simply support the edges with your legs, not the toasty center. This also keeps your legs from blocking the intake vents, which raises the temperature even more. This is not rocket science.

    • Sheogorath says:

      Pretty much this.
      I usually sit cross legged with my laptop which not only keeps my scrotum pleasantly cool, but provides a bit of extra height that reduces neck strain.

  14. armchair lactivist says:

    This is ironic. My husband is a computer programmer, and I just gave birth to our 4th child this week! Apparently it’s not such reliable birth control after all (obviously).

  15. Hungry Dog says:

    Yes!! I can save money on prophylactics and get my English essay done all at the same time.

  16. p. observer says:

    and once again they’re not called laptops any more there called notebooks. why? because your NOT SUPPOSED TO PUT THEM ON YOUR LAP. also the toasted skin syndrome http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/ConsumerNews/laptop-dangers-toasted-skin-syndrome/story?id=11801465

  17. The Marionette says:

    Not exactly news. This study has been stated many of times.

  18. gman863 says:

    Since I’m gay this is a non-issue.

    So long as it doesn’t cause cancer (i.e. cause my nuts to swell to the size of a watermelon), my PC will keep its rightful place as my scrotum Snuggie.

    • MongoAngryMongoSmash says:

      Ron Popeil here with a new amazing product for your life. Do you worry about laptop burns? Do you worry about infertility? Well, worry no more. With my new amazing product you can keep your legs waffle free and your giblets from going belly up in the potency department.

      Here’s how it works. You keep my new amazing product in your fridge until ready for use. The space age polymer, secret NASA designed material conforms to the shape of your legs and laptop while keeping harmful burns and sterilization from occurring.

      I call it the Testicools! Order now,

      But wait there’s more…

  19. gparlett says:

    I call BS. I’ve had a laptop in my lap every day for at least an hour for the last 10 years. I have one in my lap right now. When my wife went off birth control this summer it took her two months to get pregnant.

  20. Doubts42 says:

    So how long till some idiot sues the Dr in the article because he puts his laptop on his lap for 30 minutes every day and his baby momma still got preggers?

  21. Toffeemama is looking for a few good Otters says:

    If temporarily killing off your swimmers is what you’re going for, one of those hand warming bean bags in the underpants works much better. Just sayin….

  22. Oranges w/ Cheese says:

    So, say hypothetically a man were to spend 5-6 hours with a laptop on his lap most every day for almost a year, but now does not do that. Is it reversible? Because boyfriend definitely raided MC and BWL on a laptop before he built a new tower, about 4 years ago.

    • Toffeemama is looking for a few good Otters says:

      I’m pretty sure the sperm grow back; you shouldn’t have anything to worry about.

      • shadowboxer524 says:

        I am not a doctor, but I believe this is the case. The heat damages the viability of the sperm, not the health of the testes.

        It’s the same issue with wearing briefs, which has been shown to decrease sperm count since the scrotum has more difficulty expanding in its attempts to lower its internal temperature.

        But I don’t believe these have permanent effects on the production of viable sperm. If sperm count is lower than optimum, less laptop heat or switching to boxers would get you back to a normal sperm count (provided you don’t have a problem with your testes themselves).

  23. brianisthegreatest says:

    I heard this years and years ago. Why would this guy kick off a new study to find out what’s already known?

  24. travel_nut says:

    Oooh, awesome! I’ll just have my husband spend as much time as possible with his laptop on his lap. Cheaper and less painful than a vasectomy!

  25. dg says:

    So wear boxers, and let them swing loooooooow :-)

  26. kaleberg says:

    I don’t suppose it’s a reliable birth control method.