You can stop pounding on the “Close Door” button on the elevator. They’re not there for you. Turns out that most of them don’t work unless you’ve a maintenance person or fireman with the special access key inserted. It’s just one of several different “placebo buttons” placed around our world that only give us the illusion of control.
Walk buttons? In Manhattan they’re totally useless, as the New York Times reported in 2004. And most office thermostats are dummies, not connected to any system at all. In 2003 the WSJ detailed how they’re just installed by HVAC guys who are sick of office workers calling them up and complaining about the temperature.
To get around this, some NASA engineers described how they tweak the temperature, like:
* Getting ahold of the special wrenches to undo thermostat covers
* For heat, strapping bags of ice water to the sensors
* For cold, holding lamps or monitors up to the thermostat
* Getting a ladder, popping through the drop ceiling, and adjusting the dampers for more cold
Crazy! Next thing you’ll be telling me this button in the coffee break room that says “Get Raise” isn’t functional.
Employees Only Think They Control Thermostat [WSJ via Futility Closet]
For Exercise in New York Futility, Push Button [NYT via Futility Closet]
More From Consumerist
-
Louvre Forced To Close After Staff Walks Out In Protest Of Aggressive Pickpockets
-
Flying The Friendly Skies Friday: Traveling With Heroes; Mile-High Celebrations
-
OnStar Can’t Open Your Deactivated Car If You’re Locked Out
-
Are Office Supply Stores Following Big Box Chains Down The Drain?
-
Sears Dishwasher Breaks After 3 Weeks, Or Doubles As Automatic Floor Mopper
On the Norwegian Pearl (cruise ship), the elevator close door buttons work every time. In fact, they light up. They might also be the fastest opening/closing elevator doors.
YMMV. The close-door buttons on the elevators in my office DO work, as I’ve noticed from multiple uses.
I’ve heard the same story about crosswalk “walk light” buttons, too. But it’s more accurate that they don’t make a difference during the daytime, when the roads are busy. Most intersections are on a constant routine (N/SB straight, NB straight and left, E/WB straight, etc.) during that time, and that includes when the walk lights turn on. But at night, when the traffic dies down and the traffic signals are sensor-based or running on longer intervals, the crosswalk buttons do matter.
Elevator door close buttons: Mostly true in the US, but varies with which equipment is actually installed and which company is providing the service. On many newer elevators, the door close button’s solely for the Fire Service mode. The exception to this is when the elevator doors have been programmed with a longer hold time, such as has been mentioned here, like hospitals, old folks homes, service elevators, etc. My office building’s mid-1980s Dover has a non-functional door close button, while the parking garage elevator (all relay-driven) and my condo’s Otis elevator (all relay-driven) have perfectly functional door-close buttons.
HVAC: At my own office, we had replaced the individual controls with a networked system. The bellyaching began almost instantly. The biggest problem is that the old controls didn’t show accurate temperatures, while the new ones did, which were obviously different numbers. The temperature of the space hadn’t changed, but the occupants put all of their faith and comfort in the number shown on the screen. Even after temporarily hanging the old thermostats on the wall next to the new ones and them showing the room was at the magic 73F they always felt comfortable at, they still said they were uncomfortable. So, the new sensors were tossed into the air returns, old controls were hung on the walls as decorations, and the bellyaching stopped. Purely psychological. And maddening for the building owners/property managers.
I know one elevator where the “Close Doors” button does nothing, but if you touch a floor button it will close the doors.
Another ineffectual elevator habit — Elevator Racism…
http://www.frequency.com/video/racism-in/14175?embed=true
At some of the crosswalks near work, you have to push the walk button – otherwise the walk signal won’t come on. It’s pretty annoying when there are like 20 people standing there (on either side of the street) and nobody pushes it because they think someone else already has.
As for the elevator close door button, I’m pretty sure I’ve been in elevators where the door won’t close if you don’t push the button (or you’ll have to wait a really long time for it to close automatically).
I knew a whole office couldn’t be wrong when it came to temperature adjustment. With several thermostats in the suite every room was the same temp. Now I will pass on the truth to our office manager. I’m sure she will not miss all the complaints.
Tampering with a tuned chilled water HVAC system like the employees at NASA did can be detrimental for the rest of the complex if they are not careful, or worse. Stories abound of tampered air handlers turning into solid blocks of ice overnight, leaving the building without AC the next day. This usually winds up getting the damper controls welded solid and a reprimand from their bosses.
Not to mention ugly looks from the maintenance crews and putting them lower on their priority list. Rarely, but it happens, being ignored for weeks on end on low priority tickets.
If there is an issue with the thermostat and/or its placement, then they need to submit a ticket dammit.
The close door button works, just so long as you take the service/freight elevators. Those need to have the function without keys. I know this isn’t viable for many people, but I always use the freight elevator in my building.
As for thermostats, yeah, ours don’t work – it’s centrally controlled elsewhere. Try telling that to the people who come in though. They’ll fiddle with the security panels thinking they can “make it a little cooler in here” (luckily the security panels also don’t do anything, they’re part of an old system)
And while that’s true in NYC about walk buttons (and I imagine in other major cities with pedestrian traffic) – in smaller cities, not only do they make the walk sign come on, they also extend the red light in the perpendicular direction and can shorten the green if there isn’t ongoing traffic parallel to the walk direction
Some elevator Close Door buttons do have a hidden feature, called something like “VIP lift.” If you press Close Door and your floor at the same time, the lift will go straight to that floor, bypassing any lower floors whose buttons have been pressed.
Always a good way to annoy co-workers on the lower floors….
I work in the building automation industry.
This is what really happens on the HVAC side of things:
1) People complain that their office is ‘too cold’ or ‘too hot’ even when you can check the automation computer and notice that *the temperature has not varied by more than 1 degree F +/-*.
2) We set up the thermostats to take temperature commands.
3) The setpoint signal and the temperature signal is picked up by the automation system.
4) We allow the users to make an adjustment to the temperatures, but this usually does not override the setpoint decided upon by the building owner/manager/engineer. It allows you to ‘bump’ the temperature up or down by maybe 1-2 degrees +/-.
5) People stop complaining.
Even though the change in temperature is real, no building owner in their right mind would allow anyone more than this minimal amount of control. If this were the case, you’d have freezers next to ovens. This equals huge energy waste, especially in cases where you have an HVAC system that has local reheat (air gets cooled at the air handler level and warmed back up to a higher temperature at the area – this is mainly for humidity control).
The illusion of control (even though in reality the control is minimal) does make people happy.
untrue. i’ve never found a close door button that didn’t work in my life. most people give up when in fact you have to hold the button down continuously until the door closes. most people push it, let go, it opens up, then they leave and go to another elevator. i always follow, hold the button down, and it closes. every. time.