At Least It Isn't Oozing Blood

Aaron discovered this item in the Halloween costume department of his local Target. It is supposed to create the illusion of a wound beneath your clothing. On the shelf, it looks like… um.

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  1. jp7570-1 says:

    Funny, but when I looked at this photo “wound sleeve” wasn’t the first thing I thought of. :)

  2. Muddie says:

    That vagina looks infected :-(

  3. Blueskylaw says:

    It looks like that time vortex in the Langoliers.

    OK, I admit, that wasn’t my first thought.

    • Nighthawke says:

      That is better than what most folks are thinking right about now….

    • partofme says:

      I was soooo scared of that movie when I was like seven. Today, I couldn’t tell you a single thing about it.

      • cash_da_pibble says:

        Same here!
        I used to have an inexplicable fear of deep rumbling, the kind passenger jets make when they’re dropping into Airport lanes for landings…
        and it turns out its the almost-exact same noise the Langoliers make.

      • ophmarketing says:

        I enjoyed “The Langoliers” right up to the point where we finally SAW the Langoliers. After that, I was too busy laughing.

        • MauriceCallidice says:

          Those flying-demon-pac-man graphics were absurdly silly and poor quality, even for their era. The mini-series would have been vastly better if we never saw them. Most of the other special effects I thought were fine.

    • outshined says:

      I’m not the only person who watches Stephen King miniseries? Love you, SyFy (but hate your stupid name).

  4. hugothebear says:

    it looks like what?

  5. UCLAri: Allergy Sufferer says:

    Just add teeth and then you have a real nightmare.

  6. Straspey says:

    “Trick or Treat!!”

    ummm….okay, sure…

  7. pop top says:

    If it was oozing blood then it would look like a menstruating vagina! How hilarious!

  8. xjeyne says:

    It looks like a vagina?

    When did that become a bad word to say?

    • UCLAri: Allergy Sufferer says:

      Sometimes it’s more fun to allude to something than say it outright.

    • xjeyne says:

      My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.

      • FrugalFreak says:

        i know many of women who don’t say it either, Most popula I’ve heard is coochie or Privates. Some people are modest and not full blown out women world pushers.

        • pop top says:

          How does using the proper term for your genitals make you a “full blown out women world pusher” (what the fuck does that even mean anyway?)?

        • Bativac says:

          So using the term “coochie” makes a woman more modest than just calling it a vagina?

        • HogwartsProfessor says:

          I just call it a hoo-hah. Then whoever I’m talking to, if they’re uncomfortable with the word, will laugh instead of squirm.

        • Thyme for an edit button says:

          I don’t like using it because I think of it as a boring, technical term. I use it if having, say, a conversation about health. However, I don’t use the term if flirting or sexy fun times. Just sounds too clinical. Same for penis.

      • NORMLgirl says:

        Yes, they don’t like hearing it and find it difficult to say whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson.

      • Ninjastorm66 says:

        Do you have a link to your portfolio?

      • BomanTheBear says:

        I’m a guy, and I would be very unhappy if someone called my art penis-y. Unless it was on purpose (which it definitely wouldn’t be). Is yours on purpose? If so, I don’t get the point of drawing VAGINAS, VAGINAS EVERYWHERE. If not, I don’t know how that would not bother you.

      • chaquesuivant says:

        I think the word vagina might make some men uncomfortable because the sound of the word, and the way it looks printed, show a strength, symmetry both of which make it an appealing word.

        Us guys have a….penis….which sounds silly — kind of like some sort of scientific specimen.

        I think it’s ‘Vagina Envy.’

      • JennQPublic says:

        Just reading that, I can HEAR her saying it… And in her voice, the word makes ME uncomfortable!

    • pop top says:

      I don’t know. I’d rather people said vagina than stupid shit like “va-jay-jay” or “vagoo”. It’s like, you’re not 5, it’s OK to say penis and vagina.

    • jurisenpai says:

      It looks like a *vulva*. Important distinction that gets overlooked.

  9. LightningUsagi says:

    I am officially going to be Vagi-knee for Halloween. XD

  10. mdoneil says:

    Nice, you have risen to the level of elementary school humor.

  11. diasdiem says:

    Looks like it would pass for a good hatchet wound.

  12. RadarOReally has got the Post-Vacation Blues says:

    If my “um” looked like that, I’d be distinctly worried.

  13. cardigan says:

    Meh, I’d still hit it.

  14. CBenji says:

    It looks way too large for a vagina anyway.

  15. Warren - aka The Piddler on the Roof says:

    But Mom! I don’t want to be a vampire again. I want to go as a bovine vagina this year!

  16. scoopie77 says:

    It looks like some scary thing you’d see under a microscope to me.

  17. AllanG54 says:

    Just needs a little wool or hair clippings glued on around it to make it complete.

  18. The_IT_Crone says:

    Only if you’ve never seen a real one before. Jeez.

  19. Omali says:

    Finally my dream of going as Edward Vagina-arms can be fulfilled!

  20. Cheap Sniveler: Sponsored by JustAnswer.comâ„¢ says:

    My plan is to buy all the discounted stock on clearance after halloween and sell them on Ebay as sex toys!

    Ka-ching!

    • dr_drift says:

      For Brobdingnagian penises. You know, like mine! Heyoooo! Come on, who’s with me? Right? Right?

      Eh… I’ve wasted my life.

  21. dr_drift says:

    “The Consumerist – Shopper bite back” At… vaguely vaginal Halloween costume accessories? Here are some stories your writers might have missed:

    “Cucumber at store totally looks like a bumpy green boner.”
    “Hot lesbian working at Chick-Fil-A makes it more like Chick-Fil-Chick.”
    “Employee at Sam’s Club has stupid idiot face, talks out of it.”

  22. jwardl says:

    Yikes…

  23. Roe says:

    OMG !! This is the funniest posting and responses I’ve seen in a long time. I have been laughing so hard, I have tears streaming down. Thanks for the laughter, posters !

  24. wsupfoo says:

    The only thing they could have possibly done to make that item more funny was to call it “wound sleeve”. Bravo Target.

  25. snotcopter says:

    Good to know Lindsay Lohan has revived her modeling career!

  26. dadelus says:

    I’m a little worried to see what other stories will end up with a “Hatchet Wounds” heading.

  27. JulesNoctambule says:

    And ladies, if it looks like that, get to a doctor as soon as possible.

  28. dolemite says:

    That costume would ask: “Is it in yet?”

  29. ElizabethD says:

    Needs to be accessorized with a giant Kotex pad.

  30. Plasmafox says:

    It really doesn’t look like a vagina IMO
    What it does remind me of is one of these:
    http://photos.travelblog.org/Photos/106061/371345/f/3432103-Giant-Clam-0.jpg

  31. bluline says:

    So if you wore this under some really tight pants…

  32. user452 says:

    Hi, I’m 12 and what is this?

  33. Nic715 says:

    Ahhh…NOW I get why my boyfriend calls it a gash. It all makes sense now! ;)

  34. lordargent says:

    Looks like an axe wound to me.