The most truly frightening candy this Halloween doesn’t have razor blades or metal flakes in it, but 4,000 calories.
Calling itself the “world’s largest gummy worm,” this 3 lb., 5 inch thick gooey monstrosity is “128 times more massive” than a normal gummy worm. It takes two fists to hold and eat all 26 inches of it and contains enough energy to feed a small village family, but of course you’ll be knocking that back in one extended streaming Netflix sitting, perhaps snugly ensconced inside a Cocon?
I have not personally consumed this product as I am afraid of it. (Thanks to Chris!)
More From Consumerist
-
Here Are This Year’s Most Unhealthy Restaurant Dishes (Some Of Which Sound Pretty Good)
-
Kids Will Gorge Themselves On Anywhere From 3,500 To 7,000 Calories This Halloween
-
Truck Spills 55,000 Pounds Of Bottled Beer On The Ground, None Is Passed Around
-
Big Pizza: Calorie-Count Menu Boards Make No Sense For Our Product
-
Coke & Pepsi Vending Machines Will Get Calorie Counts, Push Low-Calorie Drinks
That is just not right on so many levels.
You beat me to it that was exactly what I was thinking.
This has nothing on the giant gummy bear.
http://www.amazon.com/Worlds-Largest-Giant-Gummy-Cherry/dp/B00315HJ8C/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=grocery&qid=1288105354&sr=1-1
It’s something like 12,000 calories.
Excellent work! Seems like you should be spearheading the Consumerist site !!! Kudos !
Yeah, but I think the bear is a lot less… suggestive.
I, for one, would much rather worry about razor blades or metal flakes. Is this giant gummy worm really a consumer concern? What a waste of bandwidth!
This. It’s a giant Gummy Worm. Of course the calories are through the roof. You’ll probably be so hyper from the sugar rush that you’ll burn it off in no time.
On a related note, that picture does NOT look right.
I would probably try it if it was sugar free. I wonder if that’s even possible?
Manufacturers, any idea?
Thank you for taking the time and bandwidth to inform us that this is an utter waste of time and bandwidth. Your irony is duly noted.
Well at least your name is appropriate. Quit your whinin’.
why do all consumerist posts have to be negative? this blog posts, what, 10+ times a day?
i say, plenty of room for giant gummy worms right before halloween!
Am I the only one thinking of Requiem For A Dream?
“Ass to ass” …. *shudder*
I was thinking something else; but now that you mention it…
Thanks for not including the NSFW tag…this reminds me of some of the anime videos a friend of mine purchased in high school…
That’s dirty.
Do you think so?
So I better not show you where the lemonade is made.
Sweet lemonade?
I hate you both, that is now looping through my brain after a few months of freedom.
God dammit. D:
Why does the guy seem to be smiling?
Go to 1:01 in the video to see WHY…
well, now I can’t unsee this
Looks like a colon…..
Looks like a dildo.
Well, it is ribbed. For his pleasure, apparently.
There were five-pound gummy bears for sale at our state fair last week, but at least they were one of the things that weren’t deep-fried.
How many calories would it be if we batter and deep-fry the gummy worm?
Is there a nutritionist in the house???
Wouldn’t that be like eating liquid hot magma?
I think molten jelly is probably about as close to hot magma as you can get.
Gummy worms are awesome, but what’s with the picture of large intestine fellatio?
That picture makes me feel funny in my pants. The front part of my pants.
Looks like a giant dildo.
Double ender, in fact…
One time I was at this bachelor party and these two women…ere, never mind.
there’s an adult store in orlando that posts polaroids [or they did, i don't know what they've replaced polaroids with] of shoplifters with the item they were caught taking. saw one once with a guy holding up a double ended dildo almost as long as he was tall.
was in there getting bridal shower favors with a friend and we were trying to figure out how short the guy must have been. until my friend found the item in question on the shelf.
i’m 5’4″ and the guy was clearly taller than i am.
that image is permanently burned into my brain
This post made my day. There are probably thirty above it doing innuendo of some type, and finally, just a post that says “that’s a dildo, yo.”
He wanted to avoid the double end-tendre
/badpun
This is a truly awesome thing and on that note I have a friend with a small child that I know will go totally ape sh^t for this.
damn, i nearly got busted for watching porn at work…next time, add NSFW :-p
I bet every other person here who said ‘that is just not right’ has already ordered one.
reminds me of Chuck Palahniuks short story “Guts.”
google it! seriously!
actually don’t…
On that note, never sit on the intake hole at the bottom of a pool. No matter how good it feels.
And seriously, folks, don’t look that story up. You really can’t get rid of the imagery. The man has a way with words. A terrible, disgusting, soul wrenching way with words.
I found an audio version of that story a few years back and made the mistake of trying to drive while listening to it. I pulled over half way home lightheaded. Some of that story struck too close to home.
I love gummi candy, but I really do not like the oversized ones, the textures are all wrong, they are less squishy and more chewy. Like the difference between soft rubber and hard plastic.
I was going to say this. In order to keep the shape at that weight, they need to use too much gelatin for a pleasing texture.
Thanks, Consumerist. There isn’t enough eye bleach or “forget-me” lasers in the world to unsee that. Wrong, wrong, wrong…
So…. disturbing….
so where can i buy it? vat19.com ??
it’s neatly segmented. you could serve it at a party. i can imagine a hallowe’en party table covered with gross looking foods. coiled up on a plate with a big knife, served in slices. maybe on a bed of crushed oreo “dirt”
Ben, did Chris lose the coin toss about who was going to write this article?
Big gummi dildo
Anyone else finding themselves oddly aroused by this thing?
“but of course you’ll be knocking that back in one extended streaming Netflix sitting, perhaps snugly ensconced inside a Cocon?”
Nah, I don’t need a Cocon – I have Snuggie.
What has been seen cannot be unseen…
…time for some brain bleach.
it looks like an edible, double-ended dildo or something
I once at a gummy rat as a teenager and was sick to my stomach all day. That’s when I officially stopped eating gummy anything.
Those images say Poltergeist 2 tequila worm to me though, which is worse than an upset stomach, but equally Halloween.
I was totally going to go there….
“God is in his holy temple!”
That guy really knows how to handle a worm.
Shouldn’t fellatio be added to the More About terms?
You all are dirty, dirty, dirty! *waggles finger* I’ve had a jumbo gummi bear once and nearly died from how good it was. I’m sure I would OD on sugar if I ever got my hands on this.
It looks like he picked it up at the adult novelty store.
Gummy candy is good and all but I get sick after just a few of the little ones. I can’t imagine the coma I would be in after that.
that’s a double headed edible dildo. Here I said it.
Available at your local adult store.
that’s a double headed edible dildo. Here I said it.
Available at your local adult store.
God I hope this guy got paid well.
Major phallic overtones in that picture.