A wacked-out debt collector robot left a weird message on one of our reader’s voicemail. Seems someone forgot to properly program its “Madlibs” file. Take a listen and you’ll see what we mean…
(Thanks to Memphis Panda!)
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Spooky! Just in time for Halloween, too.
The reason they ask you to hang up is that the “autobot” notes how long you were on the phone. If it gets a hang up tone before xxx seconds then it (the computer) records that you heard the message. Now legally they can’t prove it was you, however what it does do is cause their system to call more often. So by continuing to listen this person is setting themselves up for continuted harrassment by Redline (the debt collector),
My comments are … not available
Oh, you made me giggle.
my responce is…………not available, thank you.
That one would be fun with the FDCPA if the names were in it and someone else got the message. I would tell them to pursue legal action against the 3rd party for not hanging up if they wish, but they disclosed and that is THEIR problem.
the OP better save that in case it ever becomes a legal issue.
“why didn’t you call back?”
“because this is the message i got. how am i supposed to dial ‘not available’ ?”
NOT-AVA-ILAB (LE) = 668-282-4588 (53). Calling it gives me an error message, though.
NOT-AVA-ILAB (LE) = 668-282-4588 (53). Calling it gives me an error message, though.
Wow. I just got this error message when I tried submitting the above comment. Coincidence?
“Comment Submission Error
Your comment submission failed for the following reasons: Publish failed: Renaming tempfile ‘/var/www/lighttpd/2010/10/not_available_is_not_available-comments.json.new’ failed: Renaming ‘/var/www/lighttpd/2010/10/not_available_is_not_available-comments.json.new’ to ‘/var/www/lighttpd/2010/10/not_available_is_not_available-comments.json’ failed: No such file or directory
Return to the original entry.”
I’m a bit confused, did the Memphis Pando put the consumerist.com thing at the end and then send it to consumerist?
Yup a funny example of a debt collector not getting things correct, but they are putting consumerist on there and by extension making it seem like consumerist is the one who created the video. So who created the video and put consumerist.com on the end?
It looked to me like the reader sent in the audio recording that consumerist made into a video.
Bingo.
Robots worship Satan?
They worship Robot Satan.
who plays the holophoner quite well, i’ve heard.
Apparently a solid gold fiddle weighs hundreds of pounds and sounds crummy.
Very effective as blunt weapon damage though.
They did in 1927, when they were called robots was pronounced “row-buts”.
I hate when computers call me, telling me to call someone back. If a human can’t call me, or leave a message, I guess it wasn’t that important to begin with, and I won’t call them back.
Same. If their message really is “Very Important” … then a real person should have called. If they have a robot do it, then it clearly is not critical information.
Hah! Must be related to “Not Sure” from Idiocracy. Secretary Not Sure really solved the world’s problems!
Not a-vail-a-ble.
“I love you more than the moon and the stars and the *POETIC IMAGE NUMBER 37 NOT FOUND*” –Lucy Liubot
Futurama fan! I welcome you.
I’ll always remember you Fry… MEMORY DELETED
This was a triumph.
I’m making a note here:
NOT AVAILABLE.
It’s hard to overstate
my satisfaction.
Aperture Science
We do what we must
because we can.
For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who are NOT AVAILABLE.
But there’s no sense crying
over every mistake.
You just keep on trying
till you run out of cake.
And the Science gets done.
And you make a neat gun.
For the people who are
NOT AVAILABLE.
AGHGHGHGHGHHGHGHGHHGG.
I have had “Still Alive” stuck in my head for four days now. I just got it to leave…and now it’s back.
Could be worse, I have the Tra La La Song from The Banana Splits stuck in my head, and nothing touches it…
Really? Because I’ve had the Backin’ Up song stuck in my head for weeks. Dang Youtube viral videos!
“Hidja kids…hidja wife… “
weeks…weeks I tell you!
Link if you haven’t seen it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPAeXI5rN9E
NO! GAH!
You don’t hafta come n confess, we lookin fa youuu…
Oh good, I thought I was imagining that she sounds like GLaDOS. I’m glad it’s not just me.
+1 internets for you!
If you are NOT AVAILABLE there will be no cake!!
Bwahaha! I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought that sounded like GLaDOS had a stroke.
Transcript? For those of us at work…
The Transcript is… Not Available.
“This call is intended for only Not Available. If you are not Not Available please hang up. By continuing to listen to this call you hereby acknowledge that you are the intended party… (blah blah).
“In accordance with federal law we are advising you that this call is from Not Available, a debt collector with Redline Collection… (goes on about that, attempting to collect a debt, etc).
“My name is Not Available, and I can be reached at Not Available. Thank You.”
Thanks.
You’re a real dreamboat, BILLY EVERYTEEN
It’s amazing the way you *NOTICE TWO THINGS*
I wonder if he’s related to Not Sure?
So if the robocall is left on my answering machine, will my answering machine get arrested for listening?
As for that boilerplate crap about hanging up if I’m not the named person, assuming the robocall actually had a real person’s name in it, I often just have the machine play the messages while I do other things. I don’t stare at it like I’m a robot!
I totally fail to see how a robocall is even legal under the federal law in regard that a debt collector is prohibited from disclosing any info to third parties!
Exactly! How can saying nothing be construed as agreement? BTW, if you don’t reply to my comment you agree you owe me a million dollars.
This is … Not Available… replying to your post about owing one million dollars. This post is an attempt to prevent calls from …Not Available… requesting one million dollars. If you are not …Not Available…please disregard this message.
It must have been made by Aperture Science.
Is it just me, or could the “not available” refrain be used as part of an auto-tuned song in a club?
What prevents anyone from listening to such a message that is not intended for them? We can’t just rely on their honesty to not listen. Who would ever find out, if the eavesdropper never told that they listened? The caller certainly wouldn’t know who they were calling, since they should be convinced they are calling the correct party.
And if they get a live operator, what’s to necessarily prevent the unintended party from impersonating the sought after party? These scavenger debt collectors are so eager to contact their prey that they don’t always verify identities.
I know I’ve had some wrong numbers from debt collectors, and they just refuse to believe that whoever they are looking for had their number disconnected and someone else has it now. Imagine that, a debtor lost their phone service! Impossible! After they repeatedly call back and refuse to believe me, I just ‘admit’ to being whoever they are looking for, and tell them I’m not going to pay, better just sue me!
I’m suprised no one has said “PAY YOUR BILLS DEADBEAT!
Hey, I’m Not Available, was that message for me?
So that’s what GLaDOS is doing nowadays.
The cake is … not available.
One’s reply obviously has to be “The finds to repay this debt are … not available.”
Wow! A robo caller with a lisp! How cool! I wonder if this ends up in court who will Not Available be suing????
but she is not a witch.
I got that same message a few months ago. I was assuming it was for my student loans (which i’m currently paying off), but because of all the “not availables” I just shrugged at it and continued to play team fortress in my underwear.
I really wasn’t aware that Team Fortress was available on undergarments.
*IN,* not *ON*.
Underwear could be large enough to hold a laptop or PC.
If you’re going to attempt to snarkily correct the grammar in someone’s post…
Aww, I was just trying to be funny, I wasn’t trying to correct grammar.
Maybe I should change my name to “Not Available” just to confuse these systems….
So according to the message the Not Available person owes money to him/herself and is using a debt extortionist to collect the money.
Warning: shameless self-promotion ahead, but for purposes of hilarity.
This happens all the time with spam ads on Craigslist; on the site I run (You Suck at Craigslist) I posted a personal ad that had obviously been written by a spambot, and a reader made a fantastic live-action video re-enactment of it.
The post is available here: http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=2772
Hey I’m good friends with Not Available. He is brothers with [Redacted]!