Which Starbucks Stereotype Are You?

While Starbucks is attempting to shake up its image with beer, wine and cured meat, one Starbucks barista did her best to categorize her customers — and their likely order — by everything from race to gender to occupation.

For example, this handy illustration available at yasrsly.com states that:

*If you’re Mexican, you’ll probably order a caramel Frapuccino (with extra caramello)

*If you’re Asian, you’ll enjoy a Black Iced Coffee

*If you’re from India (which would also make you Asian, but the chart doesn’t make such distinctions), you’re going to order a chai.

*Old ladies will order something complicated and 200 degrees Fahrenheit (and will find something to complain about), while a teen girl will order a sweetened passion tea and giggle about it.

*Mechanics order mocha Frappuccino, but Soccer Moms are more complicated, ordering venti, non-fat, no-foam, no water, xtra-hot, double-cupped (w/ a sleeve) chai (or non-fat latte).

The chart even goes on to attempt to stereotype adults with braces, saying they will order “something just as awkward as an adult with braces.”

To see the whole chart and where you fit on it, click here.

Comments

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  1. bigTrue says:

    Trying to get in before the inevitable “Oh, I’m a soccor mom and I don’t order anything that complicated!” type comments saying this sucks and who don’t get the humor for whatever reason they give.

    Also, this chart is awesome and full of win to anyone who’s worked as a coffee slinger.

    • ExtraCelestial says:

      Yes! I used to work at Starbucks in my teens and I can so relate to this (especially the soccer mom- haha!).

      I disagree about the teen girls though, they LOVE the fraps! They come in talking about how much they loooove coffee and try to show off how Starbucks savvy they are and then they all proceed to order whipped, sugary, extra syrup thingamadoos with barely a coffee bean in it. They do giggle while ordering though.

    • Anaxamenes says:

      I’ve never been a coffee slinger, but as a customer, you just have to do a little people watching and this list starts to make you laugh a lot harder!

      In fact, I just encountered the older lady, with the 200F beverage that was not the perfect temperature for her to swig it back immediately. This is freaking hilarious!

      Let the taking fake offense begin!

    • Shadowman615 says:

      In before the inevitable “Soy Mexicana y no me gusta el caramelo!”

    • mandy_Reeves says:

      I’m not a soccer mom, but I do love my non fat latte’s or at least the seasonal flavors with skim….sometimes a vivvano…

  2. Applekid ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ) says:

    I think braces are cute.

  3. Tomas says:

    Over all, probably not that far off. :o)

  4. apd09 says:

    And yet K-Mart writing a sign in Spanish is racist or considered ethnic profiling to people…. sigh.

    • youbastid says:

      That’s a big yup. First of all, Starbucks didn’t make this. An anonymous employee did, and may not have intended it for public consumption. That KMart sign was written in Spanish and only Spanish, which implied that English speakers needn’t understand it, and was placed there by management.

      • apd09 says:

        Ignorance is ignorance, there are no degrees of humor to it and there is no acceptable application. So by your rationale the person at Wal-Mart who told all the black people to leave was justified in doing it because it was all meant in jest.

        • youbastid says:

          Yeah no you’re missing the point. The K-Mart incident came from management. Store-sanctioned. The Walmart incident was kids that snuck on the intercom. This is the same deal – this isn’t an official Starbucks document, just some kid making bad jokes. It’s not about acceptable levels of intolerance, it’s about accountability. You can’t blame this on Starbucks, but you can blame the other incident on K-mart.

          • apd09 says:

            No, I’m not missing the point. I get the point of your comments, what I am saying is that people will find this funny but not be offended by it yet when K-Mart puts up a sign to written in Spanish it is considered offensive when no ones for sure why or who put the sign. As people theorized it could have been regarding inventory, it could have been because they caught someone who did not speak English opening boxes. All people saw was a sign in Spanish saying don’t open boxes but it offended people to the point where they were borderline outraged. This is no different but people are making jokes about it.
            That is a serious problem where people have levels of being offended when it comes to stereotyping and racism, and there is no place in society for it. It does not matter whether it comes from a corporation or a person working for a corporation, there is never a place where it is acceptable and yet there is not the same amount of outrage as there was over a sign in K-Mart when this is 10 times worse.

            That was my original point.

            • slappysquirrel says:

              The sign looked like something coming from management, thus was more offensive as it looks like having the sign was store policy. This looks like some kid drew it in algebra class, thus less offensive because it looks like a stupid thing that Starbucks management had nothing to do with.

            • Keith is checking the Best Buy receipt of a breastfeeding mother (for tips!) says:

              Is the fact that one of these is clearly satire and the other was intended seriously at all relevant in your opinion?

    • Brunette Bookworm says:

      Honestl, I find both to be offensive with the racial stereotypes so…yay that I’m consistent?

  5. Hoss says:

    stereotyping is fun

    • Hoss says:

      but girls do not write in all caps

    • YouDidWhatNow? says:

      And frequently highly accurate.

    • Griking says:

      Stereotypes are usually based on at least a little bit on truth.

      I really don’t see the problem. Is it really that offensive to Asian people that someone thinks that they tend to drink black coffee? I mean really, who has the time to worry about this stuff?

  6. Floobtronics says:

    According to the chart, it appears I’m Indian. Oops, not so much.

    • shlni says:

      Same. I mean, I am Asian but not from India.

    • suez says:

      I’m about as white as you can get, and yet all I ever order is chai latte.

    • Jachim says:

      I’m supposed to be a kid w/ parents. Except I add a couple of shots of espresso to the vanilla bean. Wonder what that makes me.

    • SixOfOne says:

      Apparently I’m from India also. Chai is soooo yummeh

    • Johnny Longtorso says:

      No, the chart says “If you are x, then you will probably order y”, not “If you order x, then you are y”. It’s simple logic: All Indians drink chai. You drink chai. It does not necessarily follow that you are Indian.

    • jenl1625 says:

      And I’m Mexican, or at least meet their Starbucks-drink-ordering stereotypes… Who knew? ;-)

  7. Bativac says:

    What about balding 30something white men?

    (Answer: I don’t always go to Starbucks, but when I do, I get a medium coffee. Or a medium cappuccino.)

    • ExtraCelestial says:

      Average demographic (no offense meant, I’m sure you have a stellar personality!!) Average, no-frills drink. You’d definitely have a slot on the chart had the artist spent more time.

      • Bativac says:

        Your comment reminds me of when my art teacher in high school called me a “plain vanilla.” Now I’m a little sad. Thanks.

    • Bye says:

      “30-something” = “old man”

      (So sayeth the person in his 40s who always orders a double-short non-fat latte.)

    • SonarTech52 says:

      For a second there, I thought you were going with a “Most Interesting Man in the World” line..

    • trentblase says:

      You’re like the opposite of the Dos Equis guy — you’re … the most boring man alive!

    • angienessyo says:

      9 times out of 10 a white guy is going to get a coffee. If he has a girlfriend he will get a frappuccino, often vanilla bean. If he’s married (there with the wife) and a bit older he will most likely get an americano or a black coffee. If he has kids with him he will normally get a venti frappuccino, normally Javachip or Double Chocolate Chip. At the store I work at I can guess what someone will get just by looking at them and a large % of the time I’m right.

  8. Amnesiac85 says:

    What about teenage Hispanics? Or Asian soccer moms?

    If you’re going to start stereotyping, do it right.

    • Bativac says:

      Yeah, what about “fat chicks?” Or “foreigners?”

      • Applekid ┬──┬ ノ( ã‚œ-゜ノ) says:

        Fat chicks: “Everything.”
        Foreigners: “A job.”

        Eh, I suppose that list isn’t so hard to put together.

        I’d also like to add the following groups:
        Ducks: “Bread.”
        Beavis: “Crappuccino for his bunghole.”
        KKK: “White mocca.”

  9. Trick says:

    How old is old man? I’m 40 and I like coffee just like my men, black.

  10. El_Fez says:

    /SEARCHING FOR HUMOR.

    . . . .

    HUMOR NOT FOUND. DO YOU WISH TO PROCEED Y/N
    >

  11. arsenicookie says:

    lol i’m an old man!

  12. Sword_Chucks says:

    The comment on the site says “this is dumb” I bet that person is sterotyped correctly somewhere on the chart…

  13. BettyCrocker says:

    Fvck. I’m an old lady

  14. a5un says:

    wow, I actually do only drink an Americano or iced black coffee…weird!

  15. Rocket says:

    I don’t drink coffee, where do I fit in?

  16. Larkspur says:

    Now I have complicated feelings about my race and the fact that I do in fact generally order caramel fraps. (Except during pumpkin spice season.)

  17. sknewhouse says:

    Apparently I’m not the embodiment of any stereotypes, as my two usual drink choices (and my age group) aren’t on there. Nifty.

  18. Rectilinear Propagation says:

    I was all “Meh” until I saw ‘Normal’. What the heck is ‘normal’ according to this chart? Especially since ‘Not on this chart’ is also listed.

  19. eltonwheelock says:

    It’s funny because it’s racist.

    • Thespian says:

      There’s being racist, and then there’s simply being observant. It’s important to recognize the difference.

    • Rectilinear Propagation says:

      It can’t be racist. For it to be racist it’d have to state or imply the inferiority/superiority of a race. I don’t think you can do that with people’s coffee preferences.

      You could argue that it’s prejudiced though.

      • Sheogorath says:

        Actually, I think it could be considered racist since it lists ‘normal’, implying that Mexicans and Asians aren’t ‘normal’.

        • Rectilinear Propagation says:

          You’re right, that’s a good point. You could also argue that she’s ageist since children, teens, and old people are outside of the normal group.

          I’m still baffled by that; I’d have thought “not on this chart” would be a sufficient catch-all group.

        • pz says:

          Notice that there’s no description for “normal,” though. I think the author is implying that “normal” doesn’t exist.

    • angienessyo says:

      How on earth is it being racist? I can normally guess what someone is going to be ordering. It’s not because I’m racially profiling anyone or assuming bad things about them, you just notice if a lot of people from certain genders or races or ages tend to order certain drinks.

      I can also look at any white person and just by going from their age or gender, if they’re there with friends or girlfriend or with the wife or the kids, I know right off the bat what it is they’re going to get. White people alone have a pretty long list of coffee place stereotypes.

      When you have a ton of customers you definitely pick up on what certain groups of people tend to order.

  20. Robert Nagel says:

    She had me dead to rights, an old man, black coffee and something to bitch about.

  21. Jonesey says:

    Cynical graduate students = Medium Black Coffee, please.

  22. Danjalier says:

    I ended up being ignored because I was looking at my cellphone. I don’t ever go to Starbucks and was reading the text from my roommate with her order. I read the order word for word from the text to the barista, and she messed up by making it iced instead of hot. She asked the other barista if I said “iced” and she said, “I don’t know, he was on his cellphone.”

    • Rectilinear Propagation says:

      Don’t you know that by using a cell phone instead of a piece of paper you were being rude?
      /sarcasm

    • pecan 3.14159265 says:

      If I have to read off an order, I won’t just read it off the phone. I’ll make eye contact with the barista because I have no way of knowing if he or she is even paying attention to me if I don’t look at them when I read off my order.

  23. dolemite says:

    I’m the stereotype that buys things as cheap as possible, yet gets a lot for his money. Therefore, I’m not on their list.

  24. ccuttriss says:

    Crapppppppp.

    I don’t have kids nor do they play soccer. I don’t have a van nor do I have the anatomical makeup to have children. Yet I buy overly complicated Chai at Starbucks.

    o_0 a perplexing predicament.

  25. Cyniconvention says:

    Guess I fall under normal – I’m Black (barely) and only go for the hot chocolate…

  26. hattrick says:

    Oh god, I order venti no water chais all the time. But not the sleeve thing. And when I order a latte, it’s just a latte. Does this make me a soccer mom? Because literally, those are the only 2 drinks I ever get.

  27. Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

    On a related note, this barista is a bigot.

    • angienessyo says:

      no they aren’t. If you actually pay attention while working at a coffee place you notice certain people order certain drinks all the time. You’re just paying attention and noticing patterns, that doesn’t make you a bigot.

  28. jedifarfy says:

    It’s 100% true. Left off: group of teens who order 1 frap but want it split in to multiple cups. All with extras and such. Also, those of Asian decent differ vastly into two groups: Regular hot tea with sugar and soy, or the most complicated sugar-filled garbage you can fit in one cup. Seriously, one guy would get a double ristretto shot, 3 pumps this, 2 pumps that, extra whip, super hot, etc. etc. It was insane. On the other hand, we had a guy who’d come in and study daily and order a venti double macha green tea latte, no sweetener.

  29. ellemdee says:

    I guess this makes my mom a mexican mechanic. The more you know.

  30. kr4ck3rj4ck says:

    i’m asian.. i usually drink americano.. that’s pretty close.. :)

  31. Serenefengshui says:

    Just like with cocktail stereotypes (see cocktaildoll.com), I apparently am an old man when it comes to ordering. Oh, well!

  32. lordargent says:

    I’m not on that chart

    /I don’t drink coffee

    /I buy boxes of tea

  33. LaurelHS says:

    I order mocha frappuccino, but I’m not a mechanic.

    The “awkward adult with braces” thing is completely tasteless though (pun not intended).

  34. badb! says:

    Very close. I am a mechanic and I get a triple venti Mocha every time.

  35. ap0 says:

    I suppose I’m normal?

  36. RogueWarrior65 says:

    Do you have any decaffeinated coffee ice cream?

  37. backinpgh says:

    I had completely different experiences with said stereotypes when I worked at Starbucks. We didn’t get many Mexicans in our store so I can’t comment on that. Asians got Fraps. Indians got cappuccinos or lattes or espresso. Old ladies would get regular coffee after pondering the menu for a long time. Teenagers would get Fraps. They would also come in big annoying groups. Mechanics would say “Gimme a small black coffee, whatever you guys call it.” But I wholeheartedly agree on the soccer mom one.

  38. jake.valentine says:

    People from India are Asian. I don’t think the author realizes this…….

  39. crazydave333 says:

    Jesus Christ…I am Asian and black iced coffee is my drink. I didn’t realize I was a stereotype.

  40. youbastid says:

    Yeah no you’re missing the point. The K-Mart incident came from management. Store-sanctioned. The Walmart incident was kids that snuck on the intercom. This is the same deal – this isn’t an official Starbucks document, just some kid making bad jokes. It’s not about acceptable levels of intolerance, it’s about accountability. You can’t blame this on Starbucks, but you can blame the other incident on K-mart.

  41. meechybee says:

    You are what you drink?

  42. Jane_Gage says:

    People so quick to emote about how they are the exception to a satirical and anecdotal cartoon are funnier than the cartoon itself…

  43. ChungkingXpress says:

    Why do i feel like most people from India would and/or should have better taste in chai?

    Also I’m Asian and drink ice lattes rather than black coffee…suck it, random starbucks barrista and your chart…

  44. Willnet says:

    Can someone explain this?

    http://www.yasrsly.com/wholesome-family-photo/8217/

    It was underneath the coffee thing.

    And look at this to heal your eyes.

    http://www.yasrsly.com/comfortable-ass-bed/8226/

  45. el-brazo-onofre says:

    If you’re from India, you won’t be ordering chai at Starbucks, simply because what passes for chai anywhere except Indian restaurants in this country sucks.

  46. dreamfish says:

    No mention of hipsters?

  47. CFinWV says:

    Geez, I do something wild like buy a cup of regular coffee in a coffee shop and get called an “old man.” Pffffttttt.

  48. central_ny_dude says:

    I’ve been to Starbucks twice in my lifetime. (Yeah, we don’t have them within 40 miles of where I live or work). Once ordering a Caramel Frap, the other a Mocha Frap. I’m not Mexican, but I am a mechanic in my free time. So they are only half right.

  49. pot_roast says:

    Ugh. Warning: The site hosting the images can display some rather NSFW items.

  50. shepd says:

    Short cappuccino for me. I wonder what my stereotype is? Normal?

  51. MexiFinn says:

    I am Mexican and I hate anything but coffee flavored coffee. Thus, apparently I am an old cop (of which I am neither).

  52. rav3 says:

    crap! she got the mexican part right!

  53. Chaosium says:

    Seems kind of dull and self-supporting of the stereotypes, though Mexicans/Cubans and dulce de leche would make sense.

  54. RubyRedJess says:

    This is so true.

  55. djlotus says:

    Huh. They hit us Asians right on the mark. I do enjoy the seasonal drinks when they roll around though. Pumpkin spice latte, eggnog latte, yum.

    I really do miss the Valencia Mocha though.

  56. jgonzz says:

    I enjoy the sbux by me. I will often have a black coffee or hot chocolate and sit at the outside area. The only problem is when the ‘moms’ swamp the place with double strollers, screaming kids and the occasional fluffy dog.

  57. Kibit says:

    Interesting list. Especially the part about people from India ordering chai. Everyone I know from India does not consider Starbucks Tazo Chai real chai and won’t drink it.

    I like their chai, it was the first chai I ever tried and I would get it with my Mom. I drink other chai brands and homemade chai now, but the Starbucks chai makes me think of Mom.