Panda Kicks Your Ass If You Say No To His Cheese

A compilation of several delightfully disturbing ads for Panda Cheese from the Middle East. If you say no to his cheese, he looks at you with gooey eyes while lovey music plays, then he gets all gangster on your ass. But you can purchase panda rampage insurance just by buying a box of Panda Cheese. Apparently, that’s just the name, it does not contain panda milk.

Comments

Edit Your Comment

  1. Holybalheadedchrist! says:

    Funny, but by the third ad I was kind of over it.

  2. theblackdog says:

    I always knew those bears were truly evil!

  3. Hoss says:

    The subliminal message seems to be avoid the product entirely

  4. suez says:

    If this cheese in made in China, whether or not it contains Panda milk is the LEAST of your worries…

  5. diasdiem says:

    “Stares, wrecks your stuff, and leaves” isn’t as good of a punch-line.

    • Jeff_Number_3 says:

      That’s most likely a reference to the book ‘Eats, Shoots & Leaves’ that uses an example of the above sentance (in a description of a panda) of the noted animal that eats a meal, shoots the provider, and then leaves. A misunderstanding caused by the extra comma in the original description.

    • haggis for the soul says:

      Nice one.

  6. Razor512 says:

    Panda Cheese: Made from panda, for that extra panda taste!

  7. Difdi says:

    We need a Worst Ad in the World category…I’d vote for him (or he might kick my ass for saying no to Panda).

  8. Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

    Never Say No To The Regime

    There, Middle East, I fixed that for you.

  9. poctob says:

    Was that Apple II in first ad? How old are these?

    • Vengefultacos says:

      No, that was one of the early macs (circa 1984-90). The commercials don’t look that old. I have no idea why they would use those in a commercial. Maybe they had piles of old broken ones sitting around that the Panda could smash.

      For that matter, why did they pick an obscure Buddy Holly song to play in the background?

    • PsiCop says:

      Don’t think it was an Apple ][. But it was definitely old. My guess is the video production company got hold of some salvage computer equipment, cheaply, so they could freely trash it while filming.

  10. DancesWithBadgers says:

    Don’t make him angry. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

  11. KyleOrton says:

    They should make cheese from Panda milk. Pandas are endangered but we have a buttload of cows. If we could make awesome cheese from Pandas we’d breed em like crazy.

    • DancesWithBadgers says:

      That’s… you may be on to something.

    • Veeber says:

      The main problem appears to be that Pandas just don’t like having sex all that much. Need a better panda aphrodisiac.

    • Happy Tinfoil Cat says:

      I visited a “zoo” in China and guess what, they harvest bile from them for wine making. I felt so sorry for them. They were chained in a spread-eagle fashion in little cages slightly bigger than themselves. Every once in a while, a zookeeper would take a long needle and extract the magic panda bile from them. If I were a panda, I’d prefer death.

      They also had a few reindeer which had stumps for antlers as they were ground down for their magic powder. Pretty much everything was like that.

  12. guspaz says:

    They’re a mix. The guy who gets attacked has a Mac SE (the front stripes and dual floppy drives give it away). The guy behind him has what looks like a Mac Plus (due to the shape of the floppy drive’s slot), but it could also be a 128K or 512K.

  13. quijote says:

    Pretty funny. Reminds me of A-hole Ronald: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=199WN-I73Tk

  14. Daverson says:

    I don’t see any ass-kicking, just some big stupid teddy bear wrecking shit.

  15. ChuckECheese says:

    Watching this made me realize I don’t understand Egyptian at all anymore. This is in Egyptian, right?

  16. cmdr.sass says:

    If you can’t use sex in your commercials, I guess violence and intimidation is the next best thing to sell products.

  17. magus_melchior says:

    Jack Black and Dreamworks should totally spoof this.

    Po vs. Cheese Panda. FIGHT!

  18. I just blue myself says:

    The second one was hilarious.

  19. _UsUrPeR_ says:

    I would purchase this product strictly based on the merits of these commercials. I would also invite the panda to my parties.

  20. MikeM_inMD says:

    At least he didn’t blow them up with a press of a red button.