Last week, we wrote about the reasons your cocktail waitress probably doesn’t like you very much. The item earned some strong reactions, including an f-bomb laden response/addendum from the folks theGloss.com.
It appears that the site’s Deputy Editor was herself a cocktail waitress — “a sexy pirate cocktail waitress with an eyepatch,” to use her own words — here in the Big Apple. And she felt so moved by the original list that she decided to add her own.
Some choice quotes:
On tipping:
“Tip me, jerkface. Especially if you think I did a good job. I don’t need you to tell me I’m pretty. I don’t need you to tell me I’m too smart to be a cocktail waitress. Your compliments do not help me or Marilyn Monroe at the automat. I do need you to tip me. A dollar a drink is standard.And when you pass me a fistful of nickels as you would a homeless person? I hate you.”
On complaints about the price of drinks:
“Do not attempt to haggle with me. It’s New York. The drinks do not cost what they cost in Podunk. Do I think $5 for a jello shot is outrageous? Yes, I do! But then, I do not know why you are eating alcoholic jello to begin with. Did they run out of all the real drinks in the entire world? Whatever. No matter how many times you exclaim that you could get 17 of these for 25 cents in Bumblefuck, the price will not change. And I will hate you.”
On being a sexist ass:
“Do not sexually harass me, fucktard. That guy who used to think it was really funny to raise his fingers up in a V for Victory sign to his mouth and waggle his tongue back and forth? It took him about a month to realize that I was always spilling drinks on him deliberately. Because I hated him.”
Check out Jennifer’s entire list at theGloss.com
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I’m surprised no one sees the flip side of this — if you act like a civilized person, the staff will quickly fall in love with you.
A smile, a ‘thank you,’ and a tip based on level of service can get you ‘in’ with the waitresses and bartenders. I’ve been served the good vodka when I’m only paying for rail. I’ve sat (and drank (for free)) for hours after closing time while the waitresses unwind before going home. I’ve had free birthday drinks for a week, even when it wasn’t my birthday.
Take care of the staff and they’ll take care of you.
“Tip me, jerkface.
Not with that attitude, bitch.
Do not attempt to haggle with me
Pointing out that something is highly priced is not haggling. Oh, and not everyone is from “podunk”.
Do not sexually harass me, fucktard
This from a woman who describes herself as “a sexy pirate cocktail waitress with an eyepatch,” I guess it’s okay for you to dress sexy, but not okay for anyone to react to that. (Obligatory: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBVuAGFcGKY )( Although I will admit that one example with the man was rather… extreme)
I was always spilling drinks on him deliberately. Because I hated him.”
Assault and Battery. If it were me, I’d sue you. And most likely win.
Really, now. You dress “sexy” (your words), but god forbid anyone react to that. You assault people, call them names, and deliberately get orders wrong “just to spite you. Because I hate you.” You think anyone who comments on your high priced must be from “Bumblefuck” or “Podunk”.
And you wonder why you don’t get tipped? Really??
Im just going to go out on a limb and read this as:
Here are some nice things you can do for your waitress/waiter to make their day a little easier.
>Be respectful and courteous
>Tip when appropriate
>Do not sexually harass
+ Some little known things that are not obvious problems to the customer but may be to the server
Isnt the bright side of life NICE?
When do customers get to write this kind of bullshit about waitresses and why they hate them? We all know, wait staff never take too long a break, smell like smoke, spill drinks, miscalculate checks, talk shit, wear too much perfume, have bad breath.
If only I had something to complain about…
Here’s a tip … get a job where you don’t have to deal with people because it’s apparent you hate everyone.
A dollar a drink!? You are out of your damn mind. I hate servers who come at you with an attitude. You’re in the service industry so put on a smile and pretend you enjoy what you do at least and I’ll gladly tip your false pleasantness granted you do a good job. Do a good job but be an ass, I’ll prob leave you nothing.
Ive gone to dinner with former waiter/waitresses and tend to ask them what would be good tips and they always tend to tip less than what I would have given. Why? Because they felt the service wasn’t up to par with what they would have provided. I now have a good set of guidelines that for every one that gets broken, its another % off.