In a secure profession that very rarely requires people to relocate, John made what seemed like a pretty solid financial decision. He and his wife bought a house. He tells Consumerist that this seemed like a great idea until his employer transferred him (involuntarily) across the country. He left behind his wife, who works in the same field but was not transferred, and the house, on which he is upside down. This has left the couple in a nasty financial situation they never anticipated. He wonders: can the Consumerist hive mind offer him any wisdom?
I work for the Federal Government. Not military, though I was formerly in the military and I do the same job for the Gov’t that I did while in the military. I’m hesitant to say exactly what it is because it’s a niche occupation and I’m trying to stay anonymous. Suffice it to say it’s a highly technical and specialized job that does not exist in the civilian world; the only two employers for it are the military and the Government, so my situation can’t be fixed by simply quitting and finding a new employer. My wife also works in the same specialty.
I’ve always been good about saving money and being reasonably frugal. I started a Roth IRA when I was 18 and have tried to max it out to the greatest extent possible. I also made it a point to save as much as possible in a normal savings account, knowing that I wished to one day own a home.
My wife and I bought our first house about two years ago. I used almost all of my savings plus the one-time $10,000 Roth IRA non-penalized withdrawal for first-time homebuyers for a sizable down payment (I realize some people don’t agree with this strategy, but I’m not looking to start a debate on that. My question is about something else).
Things were great for about the first year and a half. However, four months ago, my boss informed me that I was being transferred to a different facility about 2,000 miles away. My wife was not going to be transferred. I got about a week’s notice. Involuntary transfers are not common in our career field; they’re pretty much unheard of. It’s not like being in the military. People usually stay were they are for their entire career, so there was no way for me to see this coming and it would not have been reasonable for me to expect that it might happen.
So four months ago, I had to move across the country from my wife and the house I’d worked so hard to save up for. I’ve been renting in my new city (which is not cheap; I’m by no means in a luxury apartment; I’m sub-letting a room but the cost of living in general here is extremely high) while still trying to pay the mortgage on my house where my wife is living 2,000 miles away. To add insult to injury, I was not given relocation expenses, so I had to incur a significant debt in order to move all my things out here, find a new place with first & last month’s rent, etc.
I was originally planning on trying like mad to get a transfer back home, and I started working on this from day one at my new facility, but it has become clear to me that a transfer home is not going to be a possibility, nor is a transfer for my wife out here. When I was naively hoping that I would be able to get back home, I figured I could just grit my teeth, tighten my belt, and make it through it, but now that I know there is no way for me to get back home, I really can’t afford to keep doing this. With the income of me plus my wife we were able to pay the mortgage when we were living together, but it’s not a possibility for us to pay for the mortgage/utilities plus my rent plus utilities for both places every month. We just don’t make that much, and over the past couple months I’ve begun falling behind in my payments.
So I have a few options:
1. Quit my job. As I mentioned, my job does not exist in the civilian world, so it is not possible for me to just try to find another employer. I don’t have training or experience in anything other than my current career field, and I know that with the fierce state of the economy right now there is a very real possibility that I could be unemployed for years, which would cut our income as a couple in half. It would not be possible to pay our mortgage on only my wife’s salary, so this is obviously not an ideal choice.
2. Try to sell the house. The problem with this is that the house is now upside down. Even though we didn’t buy at the peak of the real-estate bubble, over the past two years the value has come down significantly and I would not be able to get nearly what I paid for it. That didn’t bother me back when I was living in my house because I was planning on living there for at least twenty years, but now it is something that must be taken into consideration. Also, it begs the question of where my wife would live if we sold the house. My wife does not have any family in the area that she can move in with.
It is *not* an option to allow a foreclosure. Besides the plethora of standard problems with that, I have something else special to take into consideration. The work that my wife and I do requires a high security clearance, and that level of clearance cannot be sustained if one has a foreclosure on their record. Not only would it be financially devastating, but a foreclosure would cost both my wife and me our careers.
As you can imagine, this is causing quite a few sleepless nights for me. I feel like I did everything right but I’m still being punished. I’m terrified that all the money I took so long to save up for my house will be for naught.
Do you or your readers have any input?
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Rely, you should be looking harder at the private sector. Baring that going out of the country and looking for work for both of you, another national government or the UN might be more willing to hire the both of you and keep you together.
My advice?
Lawyer up.
The government is basically conspiring to make you lose your home and/or your marriage. That’s unethical and immoral, and (especially in light of the insufficient advanced notice part) can’t be legal.
John, I don’t want to out your profession, but I think you should look into the ERR. or Employee Request for Reassignment.
Rent the house
You’ve got to do something different . . . One of you has to move if you’re going to stay married. The house will take years to appreciate to a level where you have equity and, even though you are fond of it, it’s still just a building that’s sucking you dry. You did the “right” thing when you invested in it and you aren’t responsible for the economic downturn. Pick which spot you would choose for your home, where you are now or where the house is. Then one of you needs to move to the spot you pick. If you move where you are, let the house go back to the mortgage holder. Your wife will have to find work as she can. Or, vice versa, you move back, find a job and keep paying on the house. Both of you need to consider alternative occupations.
I’m very sorry to hear this; it sounds like an intolerable situation.
What I did when I had to move out of an underwater house (late-1980s Massachusetts computer industry crash) was rent it out long-distance. This slowed the drain on the finances, because even though the rent was less than the mortgage, the overall month-on-month drain was less.
HOWEVER. Five years later we found out that the guy who was supposedly managing the place wasn’t, and we found this out when a visitor found water cascading down the stairs. Long-distance renting can have a spectacular downside. Your wife will need to ask for local recommendations for a management agency (who will take a cut of the rent) who can be relied on.
Good luck.
With a high-level clearance, I think the OP could find something outside the government sector, probably with a contractor. It may not be the work he’s doing now, but a lot of contractor’s don’t care if you have a high enough clearance; getting those takes so much time and money that they want to snap up anyone they can get who has one. I’d probably start looking into that ASAP.
Here’s what I see:
Your job is so specialized, you are married to it. You can either go through the pain of divorce now, or hope the other side loves you enough to keep you. If your wife suddenly said that tomorrow she’d move 3,000 miles away for no apparent reason and that she doesn’t care that it hurts you, would you stay with her? No. You need to expand your career and turn this crisis into an opportunity. Look for other work back home. You will find something of some sort, I am sure.
Since your job isn’t something you can get elsewhere, that means that no other potential employees exist looking for it either (personally, I find it hard to believe that such a job exists, but that’s how you described it). That leaves the company in an extremely vulnerable position where they either have to do your bidding, or risk training someone from scratch.
Once you get an offer in your hometown, you ask the company you are working for for every last one of those expenses you feel you are owed, and ask them to pay for the losses you would need to take on your home. Require they amend your contract so that if they screw you over again, they are going to pay for it, period. If they so no, leave tomorrow (Unless you can’t legally where you are–where I am, I can) for your new job. If they say yes, take the money, but look for other jobs anyways. They burned you and will be looking to burn you again, plus you don’t want to be married to any job unless you’re on the board of directors (or higher). If they give you the money, you should give them the opportunity to have you train your replacement, that’s only fair.
As for this moment, you will need to rent your house out to make this work. Do not move your wife over if you follow my plans, because you will end up back in your house soon enough. Consider moving back your stuff in the meantime as well, except for the level of stuff you’d keep in a dorm room. Also stop renting an apartment for yourself and simply rent a room. You need to minimize the amount of money you are spending at your new location, and you need to be able to leave at the drop of a hat.
BTW: They may want to have you train the new guy as a consultant when you leave suddenly. Remember that consultants charge on average 3x the normal salary they would get. And consultants that have to work far away from their home site have their meals and hotel stay paid by the person purchasing their services. And consultants are only available when they are not already engaged. In your case, you will require the new hire to come to your location for training. If they don’t like it, they can get fucked, quite frankly. You already have a good job with an employer that gives a shit.
I didn’t read through all 100+ comments, so forgive me if this is a repeat.
1. Wife quits, moves to new city; rent out house and continue to make mortgage payments. Wife gets new job – even if it’s “below her” or not in her field, if necessary, to make ends meet, or wife becomes consultant.
2. Husband quits job, moves back home. Husband gets job, not in his field, possibly even two part time jobs. Delivering pizzas will at least help pay the bills. Or, husband starts consulting company.
3. Husband quits job, moves back home. Husband gets part time job somewhere doing something, and couple makes drastic changes, perhaps renting out rooms/taking in boarders, freelancing, starting a garden to reduce food bill, and uses his free time to cut every expense possible.
MEANWHILE, couple seeks out short sale (which can take months) to get rid of the albatross of a house.
a second option would be to live like this as a huge sacrifice for a year or so while one or both of you takes night classes and receives training in a new career, or fills in gaps in your education that would prevent you from finding a new career. You have way too many eggs in one basket if you BOTH can only work for one employer in the entire world. Where would you be if you had been pink-slipped, or fired outright?
This happened to my wife and I except for a few small differences. We had purchased our house in 2006 about the height of the idiotic real estate boom. About a year later, I was fired from my job after 11 years of service. I am an engineer, and I too have a very specific skill set, and my field is VERY small.
Soon afterwards I got an offer across the state for a job I really couldn’t turn down. It was much more than I had been making, but about 200 miles away. Luckily I had a very good friend I stayed with for a few months.
Our choices boiled down to this: Either a short sale, deed-in-lieu, or foreclosure. Despite my extra salary we could not afford both a house, and an apartment.
We listed the house, strangely with the real estate agent who originally sold it to us. It finally sold after several months for less than half we paid for it. We bought it for $193,000 and it sold for $85,000. The FHA kicked in some thankfully.
I won’t lie to you and say this is a money making proposition. It’s not. My wife and I did everything right- nice down payment on a house we could afford, 30 year fixed rate mortgage, solid credit history, and employment record. Still we got soaked. It’s not easy when some slick developer went bust and is selling new houses in your neighborhood for $70K less than your 8 year old home.
About the best you can hope for is to get out without a huge amount of debt, and most of your credit intact. I am guessing we lost about $40K in downpayment, improvements, and equity that just evaporated.
Best of luck to you bro. Dark days ahead for sure but maybe some good ones further out. My best advice is probably ‘Don’t let it get to you.’ After all it’s just stuff.