Man Goes Balls Out — Literally — Trying To Steal Soda Truck From Chili's Parking Lot

While some inept robbers think wearing panties on your face will mask your identity, one man in Oklahoma seems to think that a complete lack of underwear — or really any clothing — is the key to a successful crime.

Over the weekend, police in Oklahoma City arrested a man outside a Chili’s where he was allegedly attempting to heist an RC Cola truck, with both his derriere and man bits on display.

According to police, one diner at the Chili’s said the man had earlier threatened him and his family with a knife before being shooed off by a restaurant employee.

The 39-year-old suspect, who was spotted entering the RC truck and attempting to start it by a police officer who had just finished his lunch, was arrested on complaints of assault with a deadly weapon, attempted larceny of a motor vehicle, public indecency and inhaling a harmful substance. Oh yeah, didn’t we mention that his face and shorts — what was left of them — were reportedly covered in gold paint?

Oklahoma City man exposes genitals, threatens Chili’s customers and attempts to steal soda truck, police say [NewsOK.com]