A man was pulled over last week in Western New York and found to have a live kitty marinating in his trunk. It was sitting in crushed red peppers and chili and salt and he said he intended to cook and eat because it had become “possessive, greedy, and wasteful.” Apparently the guy is new to cat ownership, as this pretty much describes every cat I have (lovingly) owned. Anywhoo, as the recession grows desperate, you yourself may find yourself wondering about the legality of frying up a fluffy four-legged friend. Slate probed case law state by state to find out.
Some states like New York, California, and Virginia have very specific laws barring the use of domesticated animals for culinary consumption. Others, like Missouri, have very few restrictions on how an owner might kill his pet. “In these areas,” writes Slate, “it would be difficult to lock up a cat-eater, unless his chosen means of slaughter were particularly inhumane.”
However, no matter which state you kill and eat your cat, you will go to hell.
Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty [Slate]
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You can’t have your cat, and eat it too.
Yes you can. You just have to start with two cats.
Cloning?
You could just eat parts; I hear they’re doing good work with kitty prosthetics.
That reminds me of a joke.
A man sees a farmer pull up to a store in a truck. There is a pig in the front seat with him and that pig is missing a leg and has a big bandage on him. The guy is curious and asks the farmer about the bandage and missing leg.
The farmer says “Well, sir. That is a heck of a pig. Last week, my house caught on fire in the middle of the night. This pig busted out of his pen and knocked a hole in the door and dragged me and my wife to safey.”
The guy says “Wow. Did the pig hurt his leg during all of that?”
The farmer continues. “No sir, but that is a heck of a pig. The week before that I was in the field and got caught in a hay bailer. Had my overalls stuck in and it almost had me pulled in. This pig got out of his pen and came out there and was able to pull me away from the bailer. Tore up my clothes something awful but I did not even get a scratch”.
The guy says “Once again, wow. Did the pig hurt his leg during that?”
Farmer once again goes on with his story. “No sir but that is a heck of a pig. A week before that I accidentally got caught in the pasture with our mean bull. That cuss was about to trample me into oblivion. I had no where to go and I could not out run him. This pig came out of no where and just plain attacked that bull. It was amazing. He was able to keep the bull off of me while I got away.”
Finally fed up, the guy asks “All of this is amazing but how in the world did the pig lose that leg?”
The farmer then says “Well, sir. A pig like that you don’t eat all at once.”
My cats wake me up every morning at 5:00. Tie that in with how broke I am, and I think I may have Thanksgiving early this year.
Save a cat, eat a walrus.
Mine wakes me up as well at 4:45-5:00am every morning. :@
There can’t be much meat on a cat since most are so fat. At least my cat is that fat. Think it is strange I named him after the Chex commercials…Mikey?
I read years ago (being a hunter myself) that cat meat is the only inedible meat in the world because its meat tastes like its pee. This was based on eating lions. I could never eat my “pookee” cuz he is my best friend.
No lion burger for you then…
Wrong.
Dog Sharks and many other sharks are the same way, they urinate through their skin so the meat taste like their urine.
Not all sharks are like this though.
The Blog “Cooking Issues” just cooked a lion steak recently. They didn’t like it very much, but they did not say it tasted like pee.
Life commercials.
It’s legal on Melmac.
yes! at least it was until they all plugged in their hairdryers at the same time
You don’t “buy” cat juice, you just rent it.
+1…Alf reference FTW.
Since when is it illegal to eat *censored*?
ok – I must be dense this morning. It took me a minute to get it.
Chewing has always been illegal
only domesticated *censored*. wild *censored* is fair game.
go ahead-buy her a drink.
But I think you need a license for wild *censored* game.
I can’t believe we had to censor that.
/Ron Howard
Oh, Slate, you are so very edgy.
I’m guessing that even states like Missouri have animal-cruelty and humane slaughter laws so, even if it is legal to eat your cat, it’s not really legal to rub him in peppers (hint: how do cats groom themselves?) and drive around with kitty in your trunk.
The Slate article pointed that out too. The article is part of Slate’s Explainer series – the writers take a topic in the news and actually give you an explanation for it. It’s one of the most popular columns on the site. So while it seems silly, the Explainer series does fill in a lot of blanks, even when it comes to weird cases like this.
Thats what pissed me off watching a documentary about eating cats/dogs in other countries. I understand other countries have their own customs and think eating cat/dog is fine. I hate it but can understand it somewhat.
What killed me was how some people believed the meat tastes better if the animal was scared/tortured before it died. Horrible.
When I was stationed in Korea, I would often wake up to the pathetic howling and yelping of dogs being slaughtered, a process that was rumored to begin with its hair being burned off with a blowtorch. This crying out would oftentimes last several minutes.
I have a lot of respect for other cultures and all that, but we Americans are simply better than that.
We probably do end up inflicting a lot of veterinary torture
We do, particularly towards the end of an animal’s life when we want to keep them alive and keep getting the vets to flog them, or allow ourselves to be talked into flogging our animals because the vet has a boat payment to make.
When my 19 year-old cat with a thyroid problem kept losing weight no matter what I did, couldn’t walk in a straight line no matter what medicine the vet gave her, and even giving her the maximum dose of thyroid medicine plus steroids plus other concoctions didn’t help her keep weight on, I knew she was close to the end. I decided to stop torturing her (she HATED going to the vet and would bite and hiss and scratch the whole time) and let nature take its course; I kept her warm, comfortable, gave her plenty of water, set up newspaper for her to go on since she couldn’t climb in and out of the box, gave her whatever and as much of whatever that she wanted to eat, and she died peacefully in her sleep.
I refuse to torture my pets because *I* want to keep them around. Part of owning a pet is knowing when to let go, and the pet themselves will usually let you know when that time is. You just have to listen.
Yeah…I wouldn’t be so sure that we are more humane to the animals we eat.
While I couldn’t eat my cats, I always wonder how some animals are “okay” to eat and others aren’t. I’m not referring to religious reasons for doing so but how certain countries eat animals that are pets in other countries. What makes that view start?
Do you like bacon? A lot of people do. Have you ever heard a pig slaughtered? The screams are so loud and shrill, you can’t get them out of your head if you are within earshot. It’s disgusting and gut-wrenching.
Just because another country doesn’t mind eating Fido doesn’t mean that we are better than them. If you like to eat meat, you’re chewing on another being’s flesh and it doesn’t really matter what animal it came from. You said it was rumored that they torched the pooches – what if they didn’t? I think we’ve all seen those gross KFCruelty videos that PETA publicized a while back, wasn’t that done in the US?
Anywho, if someone served you a taco of ground poodle and didn’t tell you, I’m sure you’d still eat and enjoy it…Now, if you’re a vegetarian, that’s a different discussion…
Theres laws in place in the US stating slaughter houses have to be humane. I agree not all follow that law though. It seems only recently that the US is cracking down more on animal cruelty.
Whenever killing an animal theres going to be times it doesn’t die instantly. Thats a far cry from purposefully inflicting as much pain and dragging out the process as long as possible solely for the purpose of making it taste better.
What about Kosher pork? a pig can’t possibly cry out in pain when it’s windpipe and carotids have been completely severed.
Anyone else reminded of the chick that threatened to cook her cat (or was it a dog?) if Miley Cyrus didn’t start tweeting again?
Enter text…My first thought exactly… I believe it was SteveDave that gave us that particular gem initially. It was Mileysavefluffy.com The girl did eat her cat, if you believe what you read on the Internet…
Well, after they figured out that there IS more than one way to skin a cat, it would have been a shame to let it go to waste.
That picture is a winner.
Shouldn’t you kill and skin the cat before you marinate it?
Yes, all morality aside, you should kill and skin the cat before marinating. It’s not like much of the marinade is going to soak through its skin an fur.
Not if you are a graduate of the Looney Tunes School of Culinary Arts. How many times have you seen some antagonist toss Bugs Bunny live into a pot while they cut carrots and potatoes over him?
No. This way you don’t have to keep flipping the meat to get an even marinade. The cat swimming around will do it for you.
Maybe he was confused by the choices and could not decide which was to skin a cat would be right. We all know there is more than one way.
I CAN’T haz catburger?!
lolz one free internetz for u
He was marinating a LIVE kitty. Prepping live cats to eat should be illegal at the very least. Sick freak.
I worked at a grocery store in St. Louis about 15 years ago, over the Christmas/New Year holiday. The procedure there for preparing live lobsters was to put them on the steamer tray while they were still alive, season them, then put them in the steamer and hit the button. It was like an autoclave for live animals. I changed the policy when nobody looked, and put seasoning on only after they were dead.
It’s just so wrong to “season” a live animal.
I agree with you, he was doing it wrong. Very wrong. You don’t see people running up to live cows with Mrs. Dash, melted butter, chives and chopped onions, do you? Maybe he needed a “cooking cats for dummies” book.
“it puts the lotion on the skin, or else it gets the hose again”
His cat is “possessive, greedy, and wasteful,”… and he’s surprised about that? That pretty much describes every cat.
Yeah, that’s akin to saying his cat was a feline.
“Wasteful” really makes me chuckle. What sort of resources is this cat squandering? “You killed that mouse and you’re damn well going to eat it, Fluffers! Hey, look at me when I’m talking to you!”
I lol’d!
My cats are wasteful. They knock their food on the floor, break the little kibbles up with their teeth and don’t eat the crumbs when they get too small. Also one of the cats puts her food in the water, making the water dirty so none of the other cats will drink the water. So yeah, cats *can* be wasteful.
Just a reminder that what we consider “housepets” here is considered “food” in other parts of the world. I think the only actual issue is related to whether the slaughter was done in a safe and humane way. Granted, you can’t go to your local market and buy “Prime” filet of cat, at least in the USA, but you can in other parts of the world.
One of the most unreal video clips I’ve ever seen is of Australian Aborigines hunting down and clubbing cats to eat.
It seems someone introducts cats to the outback and they multiplied and ate all the rabbits that the Aborigines used to eat. So now the Aborigines eat the cats.
Not sure about aborigines eating cats now but I can tell you it wasn’t rabbits the cats ate. Rabbits are also an introduced species in Australia and are an absolute menace, the government has tried very hard to eradicate rabbits because of the damage they cause.
Yeah, to Naodi’s point, the Aborigines may well have been eating rabbits for decades now, but they’re an invasive nuisance species that everyone has been trying to wipe out ever since the idiot who brought them over first let them loose. At one point, they used a special fungus to kill about 99% of them. But rabbits breed, well, like rabbits, and despite wiping out hundreds of thousands, they just came back.
The cats don’t even make a dent.
Not that I would personally find cat at all appetizing on a menu, nor would I solicit someone to prepare it for me, I think that as long as you own the animal (no theft involved), kill it humanely (minimize suffering), and prepare and consume its meat so as to provide as much sustenance as possible (minimize waste), that domestic pets are the same morally as livestock. I fail to see how eating a cute and cuddly animal is any worse than eating a cow or pig. Go ask a Peruvian person whether he/she is bothered by eating cuy.
Thank you for being completely reasonable on a Monday morning.
Domestic pets are not morally the same as livestock. Livestock are specifically raised to be eaten. If we didn’t eat them, we would not raise them. Domestic pets are specifically raised to be companion animals, if we didn’t want their companionship, we would not raise them. I definitely think It is morally wrong to eat your companion.
So it would be okay if you were specifically raising cats for food? Not that I would, mind you. I hear that herding them is a pain in the ass.
I would still think it’s immoral, as I would still classify them as companion animals (just like a few people having pet cows doesn’t make cows suddenly become not livestock), but it would be a step in the right direction if eating cats was what you wanted to do.
Reminds me of a Denis Leary routine, about how we don’t eat animals because they’re cute.
“What are you, and what do you do?”
“I’m an otter, and I can pick up things with my cute little paws and frolic in the water.”
“You’re free to go. And you?”
“I’m a cow.”
“Get on the truck.”
I was thinking the same thing as I was reading this article and comments. +1 for you. Line continued because it is just so awesome
“Get in the f-ing truck, ok pal!”
“But I’m an animal.”
“You’re a baseball glove! Get on that truck!”
“I’m an animal, I have rights!”
“Yeah, here’s yer f-ing cousin, get on the f-ing truck, pal!”
We kill the cows to make jackets out of them and then we kill each other for the jackets we made out of the cows.
What about feral cats that were once domesticated? They are not raised for food, and yet are incapable of being companion animals. Would you still find eating them immoral?
See, your argument makes no sense – it’s an ad populum fallacy. We shouldn’t eat pets because most of us raise them to be pets, but if some of us raise them as food, they’re still not, because most of us raise them as pets. Besides, if we never domesticated these animals as pets, they wouldn’t exist – just like livestock. Cats and dogs are both inventions of mankind, just like modern chickens and cows. Just because we modified their wild versions for one purpose doesn’t mean we can’t then use them for another.
Also, like I said in my first post, it’s at least partially a cultural thing. Peruvians keep guinea pigs for food, but that doesn’t stop Americans from keeping them almost exclusively as pets. An animal is an animal. I’m not going to force-feed anyone their dog, but I’m not also going to deny someone their chosen entree because I’d rather not think about the sources of meat.
All morality arguments are ad populum arguments, because that’s what morality is, popular consensus. You can also find some very logical arguments to defend NAMBLA, but that doesn’t mean they’re moral ones.
30 million Elvis fans can’t be wrong, eh? Is that why my morality differs with the majority (in my country) Christian one in certain areas? We abhor pedophilia because it does not pertain to only consensual adults, and because it causes human suffering. Even if pederasty were sanctioned by the government, it would still be wrong for these reasons. Choosing whether to do something based solely on what your society prefers is stupid. As is bringing up pedophilia in a discussion about eating cats.
I’m done.
“As is bringing up pedophilia in a discussion about eating cats.”
I never, ever thought I would read this series of words put together.
But you’re coming from a culture where eating cats (and other companion animals) is looked down upon as wrong. If someone from East Asia wants to eat a dog or a cat, or someone from South America wants to eat a guinea pig, it’s really ethnocentric of you to pass a moral judgment on them like that. Just because YOU personally believe cats are companions doesn’t mean others should, and its really no one business whether or not someone eats them. I mean, as long as they are killing it outright and not torturing it, what’s the difference between killing and eating a cat versus a chicken, besides the moral implication that YOU make? There really isn’t one.
Well, that’s a valid point. But cats are particularly unappealing food; actually, very few animals intentionally eat felines as a primary food source (though some will eat cats that they kill if the need arises). They just don’t taste good.
So, then, where do you stand on rabbits? Rabbits are raised as companion animals – plenty of people have pet bunnies. But they’re also raised as livestock – rabbit meat can be pretty tasty. So is it all in the manner of the intention while they are being raised? That seems like a very fine line.
Very good point. I’d never eat rabbit, and my domesticated furball is so snooty that he doesn’t even like being outside. He’s definitely not a wild animal by any stretch of the imagination, and neither was he ever raised for food.
I haz a flavor
I think the cats got his tongue.
Meat’s meat and a man’s gotta eat. – Farmer Vincent
“”possessive, greedy, and wasteful?” Obviously he’s never been married.
Oh, he was married once. Suffice to say she was a delicious piece of …. no, I can’t do it.
LOL!
“possessive, greedy, and wasteful.” This describes all my cats, as well as lazy, dumb, costly, selfish, and inconsiderate of my dishes (and almost anything that’s on a table).
But I’m not going to eat them since they are also loving, loyal, entertaining and often comforting little dopes. It all evens out.
“Some states like New York, California, and Virginia have very specific laws barring the use of domesticated animals for culinary consumption”
How could the authorities prove it was a domesticated cat and not a wild cat if something like this was actually taken to court?
Because unless the cat in question was a bobcat or similar truly wild cat it would be a domestic cat. Feral cats are still domestic cats.
Actually, I believe that felis catus was recently redesignated as catus catus, removing the “domestic” tag. Or at least that was the way the debate was going the last time I looked into it. That being the case, cat’s wouldn’t technically be domestic animals anymore… yum.
Wouldn’t that ruin Data’s poem?
“Felis” is not a designation that means domestic; tigers, mountain lions, servals, and many other cats are of the genus Felis. (I think, actually, that only lions and cheetas are not.)
To the original question, though, the issue of domestication is not specific to an individual cat. Felis catus, like Canus lupis familiaris (dogs), simply are domesticated animals. It doesn’t refer to individual “breaking.” Feral housecats are still the same species as adopted kitties, distinct from Felis silvestrus and other wildcats.
Sitting in marinade? That’s horrifying. I hope they took the cat from him.
Seriously. Every chef knows that for cat meat you have to inject the marinade and apply a meat hammer vigorously.
They did. It went to a vet, was cleaned up and adopted by someone.
who marinates a LIVE cat? don’t you know none of those spices will make it past the undercoat to the tasty morsels?
Isn’t eating cat meat a bad idea, disease-wise?
Yep. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biomagnification
Kitties are tasty-tasty. At least that’s what my dog says.
They’re not, actually. Dogs will attack and even kill cats (when they can), but it’s not primarily a predator-prey relationship so much as an emnity. Felines are quite lousy tasting to higher order mammals. They’re eaten only when circumstances demand.
I don’t have a problem with eating fluffy, except for the fact that my cat is 21, and would be tough and stringy. But soaking a live cat in chili peppers is definitely animal cruelty. The guy should be soaked in peppers himself as punishment.
Cows aren’t cute. Neither are chickens or pigs. Eat up.
Veal calves, on the other hand are very very cute.
Veal is also very very tasty.
My guess is that, properly prepared, human meat is also “tasty.” The funny thing about morality is that it doesn’t come down to visceral preference.
It should be illegal to eat dogs and cats in all 50 states. Repugnant.
Why? Do you have any reason to say this because your own feelings? Why is it your business what other people eat?
It’s just an opinion. But if we are going to be horrified by animal cruelty and have anti-cruelty laws on the books in all fifty states, wouldn’t it make sense to make it illegal to eat them? To raise them for meat? To sell their meat? Don’t you think that might give law enforcement another weapon in the arsenal to fight animal cruelty?
You’re talking about two completely different things- consuming animals and physically abusing animals. Some argue that they are one and the same, but I personally believe they aren’t. There’s a big difference between someone eating a cat and someone taking that cat and throwing it in a bag and hitting the bag into a wall repeatedly, for example. Let me ask you this: Besides your own personal feelings, what’s the difference between eating a cow and eating a dog? Why make it illegal to eat one but not the other? Why even bring up animal cruelty at all?
Like I said, it’s just an opinion. There’s plenty of meat that I refuse to eat because I disagree with A.) how it was raised, B.) how it was slaughtered, or C.) eating that animal in the first place. For example, I do not eat veal because of how it’s raised. I do not eat pate because I think gavage is disgusting and cruel. I do not eat much pork because to me, pigs are almost too intelligent to eat. I will eat pork if it’s put in front of me at someone else’s home, but I almost never cook it at home. It’s very rare for me to do that.
I do all I can to get my meat from ethical sources.
My objection to eating cats and dogs is purely cultural. To us, they’re pets. Who are we to say eating animal A should be illegal? Uh…voters? Taxpayers?
“Who are we to say eating animal A should be illegal? Uh…voters? Taxpayers?”
You believe that because you pay taxes you should have the right to dictate what others eat? Utterly ridiculous. I’m sorry, I just can’t take you seriously anymore. I mean, really. You want people to vote on a list on animals that it’s OK to slaughter. I just…there’s no words.
I don’t think that logic works unless you include all animals. After all, how can you mandate which animals should or shouldn’t be eaten? So, unless you’re saying that we should make the eating of meat illegal, it’s not really fair to dictate what kind of meat we should or shouldn’t eat. As long as the method of killing is humane, I don’t see that there should be a legal difference between eating a cat and eating a chicken.
For my own part, I wouldn’t eat a cat, and I find the idea revolting, but I am not one to suggest that others should be legally required to have the same morality as I do.
Whether or not it’s ethical to eat an animal most in the US consider a pet, I don’t think there’s anything illegal about it, any more than it’s illegal to eat a rabbit or a cow or a pig–I’ve known people who have had all those as pets as well.
However, how we TREAT those we intend to eat is a different matter. Soaking a live animal in a marinade of hot peppers seems cruel, and that’s what I think he should be charged with.
Yep. A LIVE animal marinating is just cruel, no matter what animal it is. I eat meat but I try to buy ethically raised meats. I want my food to have a decent life before I eat it.
What is the difference? If it is legal for me to eat a cow,chicken, pig or duck why wouldn’t it be legal to eat a cat? Anyone wants to eat my cat, come and get it.
I have no innate aversion to the eating of any animal. I do think the way that one cat was treated, marinated while alive, is cruel. I would insist on humane slaughter, pet or not.
I live in WNY and this is total….bs. This guy should be punished for marinating a live cat.
He is a dumbass. Everyone knows that Rosemary and Sage go better with kitty meat.
Clearly this guy is not all there. What a goofy story.
Prove it. It’s not like I’m going to marinate my cat in the trunk of the car or anything. “Poor little kitty just ran away! I haven’t seen her in forever!”
In Italy, cat stew is a old Tuscan specialty.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoD7E3hGwu0
i think Arizona is passing a law that before you eat your cat you have to check its card.
cats are useless animals, let them be eaten.
i like to eat puss…..
wait what?
Gross.
This guy is grade A nuts. Not only was the cat “possessive, greedy, and wasteful”, the owner said that he was also mad that the cat got pregnant even after being spayed. This was a male cat.
Oh my. Thanks for the last bit. I might die of starvation before I ate my Buddy. The rest of them might do well in the slow cooker, but only as a last resort. And I’d share with Bud.
Tastes like chicken…so I hear
How is it that Ben Popken has a different cat in every picture that’s posted? Is he one of these “cat ladies” that has 100 cats living with him?
Or does he has a 100 different girlfriends, each with a different cat. Now that makes more sense to me!
Sly guy that Ben.
Why is it sucha debate? You either eat meat or you don’t.
cat = meat
dog = meat
rat = meat
parrot = meat
monkey = meat
people = meat
The only possible exception maybe we don’t eat intelligent meat, so no eating people, dolphins, monkies, etc. Of course if you eat intelligent meat, you might as well eat some soylant green while yer at it too.
I agree. It’s hard to form an argument when you include some animals but not others. This argument really has to be all or nothing.
As a long-time vegetarian, it’s pretty clear what side I’ll choose. But it’s harder to buy anyone’s argument when they include some animals as food but exclude others.
I don’t know what this guy was thinking. I mean when your driving with a live cat sitting marinade, logically when the officer asks if it’s ok to search the vehicle, you respectfully decline. Everyone know that, right?
WTF is wrong with this guy? The cat was ALIVE? How about I take a big tank, fill it with crushed red peppers, chili, and salt and soak him in it up to his neck for a few days? What an asshole… I hope he goes to jail and gets the shit kicked out of him…
Other countries eat cats and dogs all the time.
Perfect way to take care of the stray animal population, and save some more money for the gub’ment to take from you.
I’d like to eat my neighbors dogs, or just their tongues, whatever would shut them up.
The argument should be less about what animals are OK to eat and which ones aren’t. That debate won’t end. It should really be about the humane treatment of anything you choose to eat.
Full disclosure here: I’ve been a vegetarian since I was 12. I grew up in a house full of pets, including a pot-bellied pig, and yet the rest of my family ate pork. I couldn’t see where the line should be drawn, so I swore off all meat.
I don’t get up in arms about people eating meat. It’s normal. I do, however, get up in arms about unnecessary cruelty (Google the Conklin Dairy Farm in Ohio). If people are offended over this guy wanting to eat his cat, then I hope they’re not hypocrites. I hope they seek out organic, free-range, cruelty-free meat and dairy when they have the option. It’s hard to live your life entirely cruelty-free, but if you said you care somewhere on the comments, I hope you can do it sometimes.
thats not how you marinate cat.