Is It Legal To Eat Your Cat?

A man was pulled over last week in Western New York and found to have a live kitty marinating in his trunk. It was sitting in crushed red peppers and chili and salt and he said he intended to cook and eat because it had become “possessive, greedy, and wasteful.” Apparently the guy is new to cat ownership, as this pretty much describes every cat I have (lovingly) owned. Anywhoo, as the recession grows desperate, you yourself may find yourself wondering about the legality of frying up a fluffy four-legged friend. Slate probed case law state by state to find out.

Some states like New York, California, and Virginia have very specific laws barring the use of domesticated animals for culinary consumption. Others, like Missouri, have very few restrictions on how an owner might kill his pet. “In these areas,” writes Slate, “it would be difficult to lock up a cat-eater, unless his chosen means of slaughter were particularly inhumane.”

However, no matter which state you kill and eat your cat, you will go to hell.

Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty [Slate]

Comments

  1. shadydentist says:

    He was marinating his cat while it was alive?

    He is doing it wrong.

  2. Hands says:

    Apparently the guy is new to cat ownership, as this pretty much describes every cat I have (lovingly) owned…

    A clarification…you never own a cat. At best, you’re the butler and property manager.

  3. cete-of-badgers says:

    How can you tell that a cat is those things? That is the thinking of a schizophrenic.

  4. Wei says:

    “However, no matter which state you kill and eat your cat, you will go to hell.”

    Thanks Consumerist. At least Hindu’s think the same about us for eating cows.

    Why is it ok to make fun of one group of people for NOT eating an animal, then make fun of a second group for eating a different one?

  5. chbrules says:

    How is it possible you cannot slaughter and prepare specific domesticated animals in some states? That’s absolutely absurd, and I imagine a bunch of hippy PETA nuts got those measures pushed through.

    Fine, you don’t have to kill fluffy or eat it. However, if someone wished to, who are you to tell them otherwise? As long as they don’t torture the animal (yes, I know PETA thinks everything is torture to animals, but I mean actual torture of an animal) then why should one not be allowed to slaughter and cook any animal of their choosing?

    We kill cows, pigs, and chickens without batting an eye. Double standards, ho!

  6. thebaron says:

    trust me, my sister’s cat is Satan and should be cooked to save mankind….

  7. Spiro_Agnew says:

    This is an outrage! Every knows that you would never marinade a live cat with peppers. White wine vinegar, leeks, and a pinch of garlic is the only acceptable marinade for a live cat.