BP Says Well Is Plugged, Report Says 3/4 Of Oil Gone

BP says that they have stoppered up the well leaking in the Gulf of Mexico. They have filled the well up with mud and reached the desired pressure, they say, a maneuver known as “Static Kill.”

Doesn’t BP know the power of language? I don’t think the use of intense code names for the various operations has really helped assuage the public consciousness throughout this whole fracas. “Static Kill,” “Top Kill,” “Junk Shot,” really, much too exciting. How about “Containment Orocedure # 74 or “Earthen Inflowment Filling Process”? They should catch up on the collected works of your native son, Orwell.

And a new report says that 3/4 of the escaped oil has been burnt off, skimmed off, chemically dispersed, evaporated, or dissolved in the ocean, “like sugar.” That leaves only, ohh, about 53.5 million gallons floating around in the Gulf. Ballpark, that’s about 5 times the Exxon Valdez disaster. In the words of Borat, great success!

‘Static Kill’ Appears to Be Working in Well, BP Says [NYT]
As BP Plugs Leak, Report Says Most Of Oil Is Gone [NPR]

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  1. IphtashuFitz says:

    Yeah, and all that dissolved, dispersed, and evaporated oil just magically won’t have any impact whatsoever on the environment. And neither will all that dispersant they dumped all over the place.

  2. GuyGuidoEyesSteveDaveâ„¢ says:

    Well, to be fair, TopHat10 did work pretty well.

  3. morehalcyondays says:

    I’m reminded of Thoreau. “There is within nature a deep remedial force.”

    • OnePumpChump says:

      Yeah, but it can be a little too deep for purposes of human civilization. Read Jared Diamond’s “Collapse.”

      • pantheonoutcast says:

        Is that another book in which he blatantly disregards the impact that societal variables have had upon a civilization?

        • OnePumpChump says:

          Uh, no. It mostly focuses on societal variables.

          • pantheonoutcast says:

            I’ll have to pick it up – his last “work” completely ignored the effect that differing religions, cultures, forms of government, genetics, and other variables have on the development of society and instead attributed it to ownership of oxen and luck.

  4. teletone says:

    great! Lets throw some gulf shrimp on the barbie. The oil will add flavor.

    • chiieddy says:

      Seriously… how long will it take for shrimp and other ‘filtering’ sealife to get the oil out of their systems so it will be safe to eat again. Months? Years? Decades?

      And where is the oil exactly? It’s gone off the surface, but there’s still lots we can’t see lingering below the surface.

    • ryber says:

      Fried shrimp has never been easier. Self oiling.

  5. chiieddy says:

    There’s serious concern that a lot of this “missing” “dispersed” oil is actually lingering below the ocean’s surface, stealing the oxygen and creating dead zones where fish and other sealife can’t survive.

    • teletone says:

      Please! We prefer the term “Gentrification”.

    • GuyGuidoEyesSteveDaveâ„¢ says:

      In addition to the dead zones that are usually there annually and were predicted to be larger than previous years even before the spill.

  6. ihatephonecompanies says:

    Seems to me that oil that’s “dissolved” or “dispersed” in the ocean is still in the ocean.

  7. c!tizen says:

    Sorry if I don’t believe any of BPs reports. Truth be told the well is probably still leaking, we’re looking at altered video of the plug. Chances are the well ran dry on it’s own while they were thinking up another clever name for their next failure.

    This is a huge testament to how a company can lax their safety standards which kills 11 people and destroys a giant oil rig, then can’t shut the pipe down because they didn’t maintain the emergency equipment, point fingers back and forth while they blatantly lie about the amount of oil being leaked, deny the locals claims on lost income while spending millions on BS campaign ads, post ridiculous pictures that look like they were photoshopped by a 4 year old, take a breather to watch a yacht race after crying that they want their life back, keep reporters off the beach so they can’t document the spill, threaten the clean up crew with their jobs if they talk to the press, lie to the public about the impact on the wildlife, and still… STILL have the audacity to want to operate in the US. If anyone wants to know the short hand for fail, it’s BP.

    • omg says:

      “Altered video of the plug.” Hmmm, first it was truthers, then birthers, now pluggers?

      • GuyGuidoEyesSteveDaveâ„¢ says:

        Yeah, he’s employing typical Truther tactics. Bring up many points as fast as you can, some of which have no basis in reality, etc…

        • c!tizen says:

          and which of the points aren’t based in reality? Because as far as I can tell everything I listed has been proven and documented… most of which is available to read on this site.

          and just to clarify, I was being a smart-ass about the altered video, it was a plug at their photoshopped command center and the fact that it took weeks for them to release the Hi-Def video of the leak.

          • GuyGuidoEyesSteveDaveâ„¢ says:

            Well, Transocean did have the final safety call on the rig they owned.

            • c!tizen says:

              True, my “finger pointing” comment was meant to cover that, but I see where you’re coming from.

      • c!tizen says:

        What do pluggers have to do with anything related to this article? This is probably my fault, I too frequently operate under the assumption that people generally can tell the difference between someones actual stated belief and when they’re being sarcastic or facetious.

        I’ll start tagging my comments accordingly.

      • Daemon Xar says:

        Actually, if you watch the feed it occasionally loops for an hour or two (obvious from the timestamp on it).

        The non-conspiracy theory explanation (which I more or less buy) is that they don’t want active video when they’re doing some kinds of work, or there is something wrong with the camera.

    • denros says:

      Look, I hate BP as much as anybody, but they’ve tried to plug it like what, 4, 5 times now? They were bound to stop it eventually, even if just by chance they stumbled across the right technique.

      You want to talk conspiracy theories? Try harder. Maybe, “this was all done on purpose, to drive up the price of oil”, or, this is a “vast, right-wing conspiracy to lower obama’s approval ratings”. Or, if you want to get really interesting : just below the surface of the earth, an entire layer of oil several miles thick exists, and oil is so plentiful it would be almost worthless if this was ever discovered. The spill? a diversion meant to occupy a few scientists too close to uncovering the “truth”.

  8. LINIStittles says:

    I’m just upset that there hasn’t been an “Operation Money Shot.”

  9. hennese says:

    Dudes, it is gonna blow. This ‘plug’ won’t solve anything. A week, a year or 100 years from now, she is gonna blow…and BP won’t be around to give a damn.

    • Tim in Wyoming says:

      Its not going to blow. If you have ever worked around the oil fields, what they did here is common practice to shut in a well.

  10. El_Fez says:

    BP has lied to us *EVERY* single step of the way, why the hell should we believe their spin now?

    And 3/4th of the oil gone? Yeah – right. Just ask the folks up in Alaska how their ecosystem is doing after Exxon got done with them.

    • GuyGuidoEyesSteveDaveâ„¢ says:

      That’s not a fair comparison. The Valdez occurred in a arctic “sound” very close to land(close enough to run aground). This is a tropical gulf and occurred far off shore. There are a lot more currents at play that will spread the oil to homeopathic concentrations. Yes, the oil that has found ground will be around for awhile, but this won’t have the same effect on this ecosystem as it did in Alaska.

  11. ChemicalFyre says:

    WAR IS PEACE
    FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
    IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.

  12. thedarkerside.to says:

    Chemically dispersed is anything but, unfortunately.

    But hey, let’s all sit around the (oil fuelled) camp fire and sing happy songs.

    • itonix says:

      Actually this oil will permeate anything porous floating in water.
      Try burning driftwood in camp fire and you will notice how ferociously it burns.
      There could be a business opportunity to sell driftwood saturated in gulf oil as logs for fire pits.

    • Rena says:

      Hey, at night the gulf doesn’t look so bad!

  13. Southern says:

    Well, do try to keep in mind that the volume of water in the Gulf is estimated @ 650 Quadrillion Gallons (650,000,000,000,000,000), and that 220,000,000 gallons of oil (if those estimates aren’t over-inflated) equates to about 1 gallon of oil to every 2,954,545,454 (~3 billion) gallons of water.

    That’s 1 gallon of oil to every 401 Million cubic feet of water.

    To put that into comparison, the volume of the Texas Superdome is 155 Million cubic feet, so if the oil was fully dispersed, that would be like filling the entire superdome full of water and then dropping in just over 1/3 gallon of oil.

    I won’t even try converting that down to a “how many drops of oil in a bathtub full of water” that would be, but I’m sure it would be pretty darn low. :)

    • SPOON - now with Forkin attitude says:

      The fun thing is that oil is “easily detectable” on the top of the water column. so use surface area instead of volume to measure what BP is measuring.

      • Daemon Xar says:

        Except when it’s been dispersed and mixed with toxic dispersants, and forms layers beneath the water where it’s not so easily detectable and skimmed.

  14. Mecharine says:

    Chemically dispersed, such that the particulate matter of the oil can be absorbed into the coastal strata and then ,by force of pressure of the meters of rock, ooze out of the ground.

    Close enough.

  15. SPOON - now with Forkin attitude says:

    It was absorbed by magic sea sponges that the sea unicorns eat.

  16. dolemite says:

    It’s pretty obvious from the start their plan was to “shock and awe” the oil with dispersants, as they routinely used more of it than was allowed, sometimes 2x more than they were approved for. The Coast Guard signed off on every request though. So the oil is still there, still millions upon millions of gallons, just broken up so that we can’t see it. I’m sure all of the sea life in the area appreciates that the ocean “looks” clean, as they injest/breathe millions of gallons of oil and toxic dispersants.

    Should be interesting when fishermen go back to work and there is nothing there. BP: “Guess those fish migrated away. Have you tried fishing 1000 miles to the south of where you used to fish?”

  17. MMD says:

    Why is BP allowed to report on itself anymore?

    Sorry – as others have said, there’s no way I’m just going to accept BP’s explanation for anything.

  18. Michael R says:

    This is good news? Included in the 3/4 is “chemically dispersed … or dissolved” So we have some humongous amount of oil floating in the gulf, soon to be floating in the Atlantic. This oil is still in the eco system and still affecting the food chain.

  19. momtimestwo says:

    This is exactly what they knew would happen, the oil is “out of sight, out of mind”, people will forget about it, and the media will move on to something else.

    • u1itn0w2day says:

      This IS what BP wanted from day 1- out of sight out of mind( MORE DISPERSENTS!). Down play it(it’s evaporated, bacteria ate it), give it the ILLUSSION that it is no big deal so the lawsuits are no big deal(what harm? you mean the lack of fish or sick clean-up workers).

      BP says 3/4 of the oil is ‘gone’ but did they mention the ELEVEN workers that are ‘gone’/were KILLED.

      BP’s minister of propaganda should be credited with one of the greatest bullshit campaigns in world history.

  20. catnapped says:

    No more oil = no more need to pay out lawsuits, correct?

  21. barcodetattoo says:

    Lies, lies and more lies. Buzzwords (starting with the biggest one, “spill”) like “junk shot”, “top kill” and “bottom kill” are not going to hide the fact that this is a shameful disaster that is being covered up and killing the environment and the residents of the Gulf coast. Corporate America is running free, and they are taking full advantage of this freedom. How long will they prolong this? And why are people so easily lead?