Pop Tunes Bastardized For Your Kid's Pleasure

snoop

(ian)

Since 2001 Kidz Bop has cranked out albums of pop hit covers with children singing inelegantly sanitized version of the originals. The discs provide the soundtrack to little kids’ birthday parties everywhere. They’re also the official soundtrack of hell.

In the wake of the just-released Kidz Bop 18, the Awl ranked the 13 most awkwardly altered lyrics. Here are the top 5:

5. “I’m into him, he’s into me / Don’t pay him any attention … Don’t be mad once you see that he’s into it” (“I’m up on him, he up on me / Don’t pay him any attention … Don’t be mad once you see that he want it,” from Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies”)

4. “Like a popstar, you’re Madonna / And I’m always gonna wanna blow your mind” (“Like a Virgin, you’re Madonna / And I’m always gonna wanna blow your mind,” from Train’s “Hey, Soul Sister”)

3. “And I cannot text you when I’m going to dance, ay” (“And I cannot text you with my drink in my hand, eh?,” from Lady Gaga and Beyoncé’s “Telephone”)

2. “And you out when you ain’t got anyone” (“And you wild when you ain’t got nothin’ on / haha,” from B.o.B. and Bruno Mars’ “Nothin’ On You”)

1. “[ ]” (Snoop Dogg’s entire contribution to Katy Perry’s “California Gurls”)

It’s a shame the Kidz Bop writers didn’t take a stab at Snoop’s “California Gurls” interlude. The effort might have paved the way for a Kidz Bop translation of “Gin & Juice.”

Listicle Without Commentary: The 13 Most Awkwardly Altered Lyrics On “Kidz Bop 18″ [The Awl]