Good News, Everyone: Microwaveable Milkshakes Exist

Do you want to experience the deliciousness of a milkshake in your own home, but are too lazy to throw some ice cream and milk in a blender? Kroger is here to help, and the grocer now sells the Micro Shake: a frozen treat that you stick in the microwave to soften a little, then stir and eat. Because this is America.

Blogger Tracy bravely bought the frozen shake and tested it along with her sons. Their verdict?

I thought it was okay, but far too sweet and not rich and creamy enough. I wouldn’t turn one down, but I wouldn’t buy it for my own consumption, either. I’d just as soon get some regular ice cream. The price wasn’t terrible, $1.99 (I think it was on special though) and although it’s not great nutrition, I wouldn’t be opposed to getting one as a rare treat for the boys. I really wanted to try the peanut butter flavor, but my youngest can’t have peanut products and I thought it would be mean to have this within his sight.

The boy’s verdict? Nicholas said it was fantastic and gave it 4.4 stars out of 5. I should note that he is a connoisseur of those gas station milkshakes. The little boys thought it was terrific, too. I think they liked the novelty of it more than anything else.

PS – I posted then realized what these remind me of. Remember those little cake mixes that you could get back in the 1980s for chocolate chip cake and coffee cake that came with its own paper baking pan? I remember baking the crap out of those when I was a kid and getting such a kick out of that crappy little pan. This is that kind of food, I think. Yeah, it’s not great for your kid but they’ll enjoy the experience so every once in a blue moon when they have a friend over for a sleepover you could let them make these themselves and have a ball.

Horrifyingly, this isn’t a new product. They existed in the ’70s and ’80s as well. Have you tried Microshakes, then or now? What did you think?

microshake-016.jpg

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  1. NarcolepticGirl says:

    When I was younger I used to take the rest of a pint of ice cream and put it in the microwave to soften it and turn into a sort-of shake (more like a Frosty).

    And this article reminds me that I need to get a blender this weekend.

    • koalabare says:

      Me too! Hell, I still do it occassionally!

      • NarcolepticGirl says:

        I stopped buying ice cream a few years ago because I would eat a whole pint in one sitting.
        But I definitely used the microwave to soften it as an adult. It’s just easier to eat!

    • Applekid ┬──┬ ノ( ã‚œ-゜ノ) says:

      I’ll admit to doing the opposite: heating up my spoon and leaving the ice cream hard. I like making describable scoops. Since I’ve quit ice cream, though, I can’t go back to this since I no longer have the spoons with the insulated handle.

      Except for the comically-large-for-ice-cream metal cooking spoons.

  2. Nytmare says:

    Soft and chewy on the outside, frozen crunchy center? That’s one thing I’m afraid of here.

    • NarcolepticGirl says:

      When I used to microwave ice cream, it would soften the top & edges and then I would mix it up and it would then become like a frappe or a Frosty

  3. Krobar says:

    It looks like those McDonald’s ones in that last pic, McFlurry or something? lol

  4. pantheonoutcast says:
  5. Limewater says:

    “Blogger Tracy bravely bought the frozen shake and tested it along with her sons. Their verdict?”

    The shake passed. Her sons failed.

    • RadarOReally has got the Post-Vacation Blues says:

      Haa! I, too, was imagining her poking straws in the kids’ ears!

  6. smo0 says:

    More processed junk…. hand your kid a piece of fruit, imo. Anything that includes “microwave(able)” on the box is generally bad for you.
    Sorry to go off here, but what YOU consume is up to you – I really don’t care… handing crap like this to your children just razzes the hell out of me. There are other sweet treats you can give them…. and of course your kid would give the thumbs up… it’s fat and sugar! Way to pave the way to type-2 DIABEETUS, lady.

    • Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

      She did say she would only recommend it as a very rare treat. Sounds to be like you’re the one eating too much processed sugar. You need a chill pill.

    • pecan 3.14159265 says:

      I’m all for healthy eating, but there’s nothing wrong with the occasional treat. I think in a lot of cases, kids who grow up without being allowed to even indulge once in a while tend to get very uptight and when they get some freedom away from their parents, they kind of explode and eat everything they were deprived of as children.

      The blogger even says, “although it’s not great nutrition, I wouldn’t be opposed to getting one as a rare treat for the boys.” There’s nothing wrong with that. Sure, there are other kinds of sweets you can give your kids, but when fruit is part of their diet, it’s hardly a treat to give them the exact same thing they eat all the time. I have no problems with giving a kid a milkshake once in a while for a treat. The microwavable milkshake seems disgusting, but a real one with real milk and ice cream? Sure.

      • JamieSueAustin says:

        I had a friend whose mother was an oral hygienist. She was never allowed anything sweet because she could damage her teeth. She horded sugar cubes and ate them by the handful when she was away from home.

        • JulesNoctambule says:

          I’ve known a lot of people whose parents forbade them to eat sugar when they were kids. Every single one of them would gorge on anything sweet when they had the chance back when they were young, and many of them still do to this day. Moderation, people.

      • smo0 says:

        No, that’s exactly what I mean, you summed it up on the last line….

        that shit up there is pretty disgusting, like I said – I’d love to have a picture of the “ingredients” label.

    • Fidget says:

      Kids can burn off crap. Being overly restrictive with them only teaches them to splurge like all hell when you’re not around; it sounds like she considers it a sometimes treat. Or you can just tell your kid they can’t ever have fat or sugar and get a neurotic little Gosselin-thing. Whatevs.

    • NarcolepticGirl says:

      Fruits and natural juices are also loaded with sugar.
      When my cousin was little, she loved apple juice, apples, strawberries and grapes.
      She ended up with rotten teeth before the age of 5. Despite using “no sugar added” juices.

      • Limewater says:

        I’m curious why you bring up fruit juice. It is pretty bad for something marketed as “healthy.” Real fruit is pretty good, though.

        • NarcolepticGirl says:

          because no-sugar added fruit juice is made of fruit.
          And a lot of fruit are very high in sugar.
          And sugar was one of the things the commentor was talking about.

          Basically, it’s about moderation.
          If you feed your kid lots of (organic) juices and sugary fruits – there also could be issues – such as teeth rotting/yellowing.

          • Limewater says:

            Yeah, but with real fruit, as opposed to juice, the problems are tempered a lot. Apple juice is a sugary mess, even when it’s “no sugar added.” However, if you eat an apple instead, you only get a few ounces of juice, along with a lot of fiber. You also produce a lot more saliva and do a lot of chewing, keeping you from getting that sugary film all over your teeth to rot them to pieces. It’s easy to drink 16 ounces of apple juice and go back for more. It’s harder to get the same amount of sugar from eating apples.

            I guess what I’m saying is, I think you’re pretty fair to condemn juice, but I think you’re being pretty hard on real fruit.

            • smo0 says:

              Apples are high in sugar the closest you get to the core…. there are other fruits that have vitamins instead of just processed sugary snacks….. rotting teeth is poor dental care – I don’t care who you are, there’s never an excuse for that – and I wasn’t even commenting on dental reprocussions of eating junk food – brush your gd teeth, especially if you’re a parent, you need to make sure your kids brush, that’s another issue entirely. Although the lack of nutrients from food that are good for bone health just further relates to my “stop giving your kid junk.”

          • stormbird says:

            Saw an article yesterday about how most ’100% juice’ is really hyper-sweet apple or pear juice with only a little of the cranberry/grape/pomegranate added. It’s essentially the gateway drug to mountain dew.

    • Bativac says:

      I hate when adults totally forget what it was like to be a kid.

      My mom bought cheap ice cream for the three of us kids. My dad would buy me a bottle of YooHoo every time he stopped to get gas. Yet somehow I grew up into a healthy adult who knows how to eat right, yet will occasionally eat ice cream or drink YooHoo.

    • aloria says:

      Oh, lighten up. Letting a kid have a bit of ice cream once in a while isn’t going to kill him.

      • smo0 says:

        Once is never enough …. I guess it’s more about the manufacturer of this item rather than I item itself… I buy a lot of natural food stuff… it would be considered junk food but without all of the processed chemical goodies with 5+ syllable words to join in on the fun……
        Someone find this crap and take a picture of the ingredients… maybe that’s more along the lines of what I’m talking about… point is, there’s lots of heathier treats you can consume… I often wonder if parents even read the labels of crap they feed their children….

        • aloria says:

          Your body has these amazing things called livers and kidneys that work really well in removing the occasional no-no substance from your system. You’re acting like letting a kid have a little taste of junk food is like giving him his first hit of crack rock. Believe it or not, responsible parents are able to treat their kids to the occasional milkshake or chicken nugget once in a blue moon and say “no, have an apple” the other 99% of the time.

    • RadarOReally has got the Post-Vacation Blues says:

      She even mentioned that it would be a once-in-a-blue-moon treat for her kids.

    • CaptCynic says:

      Wow, you might want to consider switching to decaff.

    • Mr. Pottersquash says:

      you know, you can microwave broccoli

  7. Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

    Loving the tags for the article.

  8. glater says:

    Ugh, yeah, i remember those as a kid in the 80′s. they weren’t really good then, either.

    same with the little boxes of french fries. those were horrifically awful.

    • JamieSueAustin says:

      I LOVED those little boxes of french fries when I was a kid!

      • glater says:

        you know, i thought the fries were awful but i ate them anyways, and i have no idea why. hey, french fries, right? i guess was the thought. eeeuych. they always came out so soggy and weird.

        the milkshakes were weirdly-textured and slightly off-flavored and i think i’d choke a bit now but i did like them at the time, they were a rare “treat”. kids + chocolate anything, go figure.

  9. Rachacha says:

    I tried a micro shake in the early 1990s. Not very good. Nothing beats a good homemade milkshake made with real icecream, milk and chocolate syrup in a blender. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom

  10. BettyCrocker says:

    That picture looks horrendous!

  11. Caged Wisdom says:

    I was about to say that I definitely remember these being around before, but then you pointed that out as well. So I guess I just wasted everyone’s time who bothered to read this comment. :)

  12. LD says:

    WTH is a gas station milkshake?

    • Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

      It’s like a gas station hooker. Only a milkshake.

      Gawd, do I have to spell it out for you?

    • npage148 says:

      The first time I saw that machine in a Eastern PA Shetz, I had to get one even though I was not hungry and it was the dead of winter. I do not regret it for on moment, it was amazing

    • dpeters11 says:

      Gas station milkshakes can be fabulous, but I might be spoiled living in Cincinnati. Our local UDFs are gas stations that are practically a Baskin Robbins in terms of ice cream bin choices.

  13. hahamaximus says:

    These things were a life saver when I had my wisdom teeth pulled out 20 years ago. As an adult, these things are calorie bombs.

    • Outrun1986 says:

      Frosty’s from Wendy’s and french toast sticks from the box are saviors during any type of dental work. Mac & cheese and yogurt work well too however yogurt doesn’t fill you up as fast as a frosty does. Mac & cheese can also be too hard if your teeth are really really sensitive, but you can probably just swallow it if you are really desperate.

  14. Vermifuge says:

    This isn’t new I recall these (maybe not this brand) being around in the late 80s early 90s.

  15. nbs2 says:

    Sounds feasible, and I suppose folks that don’t like to keep ice cream around the house for whatever reason might find this a cheaper alternative to going to . Without looking, I suppose the nutrition can’t be that different from McDonalds or any other fast food purveyor of milkshakes.

    As far as laziness is concerned though, how should I feel about cans of pancake batter? They come in those aerosol spray cans like whipped cream and spray cheese. I’m not sure if that is “too lazy” (since you still have to cook) or not.

    • webweazel says:

      “As far as laziness is concerned though, how should I feel about cans of pancake batter? They come in those aerosol spray cans like whipped cream and spray cheese. I’m not sure if that is “too lazy” (since you still have to cook) or not.”

      Mega-lazy. Pancake batter is what, a few ingredients at most. Bisquick pancakes are 3 ingredients. Scratch is 7 ingredients, 5 of them dry, so you can make your own mix and add the other 2 right before cooking.
      But then again, it may ultimately take MORE work, because you have to heat up and wash the pan/spatula later after making just 2 or 4 pancakes at 10 different times. Best bet: Make Bisquick or scratch. Just make a big batch, freeze the pancakes individually on cookie sheets, and wrap tightly and freeze. A few seconds in the microwave to defrost, a few more to heat up, and you’ve got hot pancakes. Pancakes and waffles freeze/microwave beautifully. Just keep the power down a tad on reheating.

  16. GMFish says:

    Because this is America.

    If so, where is my macaroni & cheese flavored microwavable milkshake?!

    • RadarOReally has got the Post-Vacation Blues says:

      1. Open MicroShake
      2. Add pouch of Kraft Mac and Cheese Powder (also available in a shaker).
      3. Microwave, stir and enjoy!

  17. Speak says:

    I remember having these in the late 80′s, or something like them anyway. They were only OK. The vanilla ones were better than the chocolate, the chocolate ones had a very fake taste to them.

  18. JamieSueAustin says:

    I had microshakes when I was a kid and they were awesome. I imagine that now that I’m older they’d taste crappy and give me a stomach ache just like everything else I use to love to eat.

  19. louiedog says:

    As someone who makes a quart and a half of ice cream almost every week in the summer, I find this revolting. If you can’t even bother to buy a half gallon (I guess they’re probably like 1.75 quarts now, damn shrink ray) of Breyers and some milk, but instead opt to microwave one of these things, you’ve hit rock bottom.

    I’m not saying everyone should just make their own all the time, but if you’re going to buy, get something good. Go to your local burger shop or ice cream stand and get something. They’ll combine ice cream and milk in a machine that gives that perfect milkshake texture that I doubt you’ll find in Kroger’s frozen case.

    • nbs2 says:

      I don’t know….

      If you have one milkshake a month, you’re probably better off going to a real ice cream place and getting one. But, if there aren’t any near you, this may be a better alternative. Nothing is worse than freezerburnt ice cream, except a freezerburnt malt.

      • louiedog says:

        Have you tried a microwavable milkshake from Kroger? I have a sneaking suspicion it might be worse.

        I grew up in the middle of nowhere. Dirt roads, no fast food chains or Wal-Marts. My mailing address was for a town 30 minutes away. There were 3 local places to get milkshakes within 10 minutes of my house, one of which was open year round. I think the percentage of people who don’t have access to milkshakes is pretty small.

        I’ll probably get responses to this from people who live in the suburbs or cities and claim they don’t have anything close by. I also have friends who live within walking distance of great local pizzerias run by Italian immigrants, but they don’t know they exist. They just call Dominos because they see the advertisements and gets coupons in the mail.

    • jackbishop says:

      If you can’t even bother to buy a half gallon (I guess they’re probably like 1.75 quarts now, damn shrink ray) of Breyers

      It’s been a while since you bought ice cream, I guess. The 1.5-quart half-gallon has been making freezers and unit-conversion tables sad for several years now.

  20. mykie says:

    In the Seattle-area Costco stores, you can buy Dick’s milkshakes from the freezer section, which are also microwaveable.

    I have only tried the Dick’s shakes, and they’re pretty good, almost as good as what you’d get in the Dick’s drive-ins. I can only assume everything else is garbage in comparison.

    http://www.ddir.com/

  21. UnicornMaster says:

    this is why you’re fat…

  22. Draygonia says:

    Why the heck do you always show a picture of the food in its ugly form? Why not the perfect prestine food they show on TV that looks so good? Like in those restaurant commercials?

  23. Mooneyes says:

    I’ve tried this and kinda liked it. I really like the idea of it. It tasted pretty good ie on par with similar fast food junk. I am frugal with my kitchen space and don’t have a blender so I thought this is a quick and easy way to get a shake. I do note I haven’t bought it again after reading the nutritional info. Maybe I should just give in and buy a blender.

    But in the end this is an easy frozen treat.

  24. GTB says:

    These never actually went away. Kroger has been selling them the whole time.

  25. bigd738778 says:

    No these are NOT new nor have they been taken away and reintroduced. My Kroger in Ohio has always sold the microwave milkshakes and they are quite good if you follow the directions and melt it for the correct time. They also have frozen glazed donuts that you microwave and again very good. But all of these products have been around for 30 years so none of it is new.

  26. Shadowfax says:

    So how is this not regular ice cream that gets heated up? Hell, heat it longer and you can have cream of cookie soup ;)

  27. Mackinstyle1 says:

    Kroger sounds like some military general gone evil/corrupted. I’d expect to find him in a horror movie…

  28. Abradax says:

    The Moo malt variety were pretty good. I usually don’t microwave them though, I eat them like ice cream.

  29. TheMonkeyKing says:

    Yes, I remember these. Tasted like styrofoam, which in turn reminds me of Wendy’s frosties.

    These came to our town the same time as carbonated, flavored tablets that you put in water to make it taste like soda pop. Something like this, but the ones I had were like cartoon characters: http://www.oldtimecandy.com/fizzies.htm

  30. BoredOOMM says:

    Our local Chevron Stations stock this and the price is about $3.

    Yawn

  31. bluecoyote says:

    These are um… nothing new. Especially if you’re from Cincinnati.

  32. macoan says:

    Schwan still offers things like this – like a rootbeer float – keep it in your freezer, when ready – microwave it to soften it, and enjoy. Pretty good.

  33. Cactusjack_1999 says:

    I used to have these when I was a kid…. and they were pretty awesome.