Do Not Rely On Target To Keep Track Of Your Wedding Gift Thank You Note To-Do List

Lauren writes in with a cautionary tale about relying on your gift registry to help you keep tabs of all the people you need to send thank-you notes for wedding gifts. She was married about a year ago and had finally gotten around to sending out her belated thank-yous when she discovered the registry info was wiped clean from Target’s system.

She writes:

My husband and I were married August in 2009. No honeymoon for us – we came home so I could get back to work at my busy job. Life happened, as it does: holidays, a death in the family, busy times… It wasn’t until this July that I could finally sit down and devote the attention to the thank you card process that it required. We sorted the cards and what packing slips we could as well as printing off the amazon.com gift registry we had (since they had a universal registry option).

I pulled up target.com to do the same, only to find that my registry was missing. I called to ask them to send me the registry info, it didn’t need to be reinstated… I just needed addresses and names. It was at this time that I was informed that my registry had been inactive since November and there was no way to retrieve this information. Nothing to be done.

I’m beside myself. Surely, people who had been married before had been involved with the process of setting up Target’s Club Wedd. Shutting down a registry so shortly after a wedding makes so little sense. Culturally, people are usually given a year to acknowledge wedding gifts. I asked myself, “Had I missed where they said they’d shut it down so quickly after the wedding?”

I set up a dummy registry just to see if I’d missed any mention of this. I hadn’t. There’s no fine print, no nothing. And even still… does it make ANY sense to out and out delete someone’s records of gifts sent to them with no warning?! If I had known, you bet I would have been there printing the HELL out of that list. Even with the best organization of packing slips… the nature of wedding as they are, you might miss someone. I can say I feel fairly confident that I have all my packing slips, but I’d hate to upset a new family because I trusted Target to be sensible about the whole thing.

I hope if anything that this will bring some attention to the problem. My recommendation to Target: email the registry “owner” a list of names and email address for the gifts or, HECK, just let them know they plan to delete it. It’s just the right thing to do.

Hey, readers who have recently ruined their lives or plan to do so soon, what do your gift registries do for you in terms of record keeping?

Comments

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  1. Captain Walker says:

    If she waited a year to send thank you notes, then I guess she is the type of person who might rely on something like Target to help her with this project.

    • Hirayuki says:

      I wrote ours upon returning from our honeymoon, which began the day after the wedding and lasted two weeks. We also didn’t use any registries–but we had a very small wedding (20 people including us and the priest) with a majority of guests from out of the country.

      For the average bride/groom, though, no, you can’t count on a website to keep track of your stuff for you, especially not so long after the fact. Three months seems reasonable considering she hadn’t logged in and “pinged” the registry during that time to prove to Target that she was still using it.

      • pecan 3.14159265 says:

        I had 150 people at my wedding, and I had thank you cards sent out no later than a month after my honeymoon. I still remember who gave us what, too.

        • FatLynn says:

          I had 150 at my Bat Mitzvah, and had the notes out within three weeks, and I was 12 years old!!!

          Seriously, ten each night until they are done.

    • CaptCynic says:

      Yeah, if you wait a year to send a thank you note, the thank you note doesn’t mean much. Sorry.

    • newdogoldtricks says:

      I agree that a year seems a bit much, but she’s right, it is acceptable from an etiquette standpoint. Not really sure what you are insinuating by “she is the type of person who might rely on something like Target to help her with this project”.

      • Jacquilynne says:

        It’s really not acceptable from an etiquette standpoint. People confuse it with the idea that you have a year to send a gift. And even that was mostly a special rule for times of war and depression.

        Sadly, it’s becoming acceptable from an etiquette standpoint, because people keep repeating the myth that it already is acceptable, but really, send the damned thank you cards when you get the gift. It’s not that hard. And if you do it as the gifts arrive, you don’t have nearly as many to do in a giant bunch for the ones that arrive at the wedding.

      • Captain Walker says:

        It’s not acceptable to wait a year from an etiquette or any other standpoint.

        And anyone who would wait a year to send out thank you notes would be the type to rely on a third party to keep track of their obligations.

        Take some responsibility, Lauren.

      • eviltwinskippie says:

        Technically, six months is the etiquette. Anything beyond that is a bit rude. Even six months is pushing it now that the majority of honeymoons last two weeks or less.

      • MercuryPDX says:

        Would you agree that Emily Post is a trustworthy authority:

        “Contrary to popular myth, the happy couple does not have a year’s grace period. All thank you notes should be written within three months of the receipt of the gift. Ideally, a response should be written on the day you receive a wedding gift. If that’s not possible, set a daily goal. It’s a lot easier to write three or four notes a day than to have to write a hundred notes in a month after the wedding!”

        [http://www.emilypost.com/wedding-registries-gifts-and-thank-yous/167-wedding-thank-yous]

    • hills says:

      Not to blame the OP, but seriously?! What rule says you a have a YEAR to send a thank you note? You have a year to give a gift, but gifts should be acknowledged timely. What an idiot.

      • trentblase says:

        It saves on stamps, because she can include an invitation to her anniversary party.

        • spinceoli says:

          If times are so rough that they need to save money on stamps, they probably shouldn’t be having an anniversary party.

    • Awesome McAwesomeness says:

      Just from Googling it, it looks like 1 month is the most acceptable with 3 months being the max.

    • Admiral_John says:

      I fail to see how this is a failing on Target’s part. When I got married I kept the cards with the gifts after we had unwrapped them, then when we got home we wrote the thank-you cards based on that.

      If the lady in the article was lazy enough to not write her thank-you notes for a full YEAR after the marriage then Target’s failure to maintain a gift registry is the very least of her problems.

  2. jonroknrol says:

    WHAT??? You mean Target doesn’t just save your information until you get around to thanking the people that thought enough to give you a gift for your wedding?

    OUTRAGEOUS!!! I’M BOYCOTTING!!!

    • common_sense84 says:

      Worse yet, people don’t want thank you cards. No one expects thank you cards for a gift.

      • RvLeshrac says:

        I don’t want a “Thank You” card. I want someone to call and say “Thank you,” or tell me “Thank you” when I hand them the gift.

        Gimme ten minutes in Office, and I’ll give you 10,000 thank you cards.

      • pecan 3.14159265 says:

        I like getting thank you cards. They’re a nice reminder that you were a participant in something. I try to write thank you notes now. I actually like writing them, and I put some effort into them. And I got a bunch of really nice thank you cards from Target (where else?) on clearance and I’ve been using them for the past three years. I always write them for gifts and for Christmas parties or dinner parties we go to. I think it brings back a bit of class and etiquette.

      • nbs2 says:

        I once included a thank you card with the gift. All they had to do was give the thing back to me. But, it was my favorite niece. I don’t know if I’d do that for someone else.

  3. Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

    I’m not sure deleting her registry after a year is inappropriate. It’s hard to imagine, but data is not infinite and it does cost Target money to maintain these registries and their data.

    Warning people their registry will be deleted sounds like a GREAT idea for Target to implement (wink wink, nudge nudge) but I don’t think they were obligated to.

    I would be interested to know when the registry actually WAS deleted. A year is excessive, but if Target closed it after 3 months that would be legitimate grounds for anger.

    • SabreDC says:

      I wonder if this means that Target does not have the capability to send out any targeted mailings with items pertaining to what she received from her wedding. My wife and I were registered at Target (in 2008) and we still (as of late last year) get mailings offering discounts if we go out and purchase items that were not purchased as gifts. Specific ones too, like “Take this coupon to Target to get $10 off your purchase of a [insert specific kitchen gadget].”

    • d0x360 says:

      I know for a fact that it is saved 90 days past the wedding date, and if something is bought on the registry after the wedding date it extends it another 90 days from the time of purchase. 90 days is their max limit on return policy and that IMHO is more than a fair amount of time to store your data. If you cant go to the website or store within 90 days and print it out then you are at fault.

    • Lauren says:

      Honestly, that’s the whole reason I wrote in. I was just surprised that it was deleted after three months.

      • rookie says:

        The egg has been broken, you cannot mend that shell.
        Now is the time to suck it up quick, and figure out WHO gave you WHAT and send notes to as many as you can.
        Did you save your invitation list?

        Good luck.

  4. Ilo says:

    You just started writing thank you notes a YEAR later?

  5. brinks says:

    Sorry about the bride’s luck, but should we really expect Target to keep all of its inactive registries intact because some people need them for much-belated thank you cards? I wouldn’t expect it to be kept up after it hadn’t been used in so long.

    • DanRydell says:

      Yeah, this is idiotic. I had a simple system for figuring out who gave me which gift – I made a list!

  6. Ilo says:

    You just started writing thank you notes a YEAR later?

  7. Ilo says:

    You just started writing thank you notes a YEAR later?

    • Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

      You started using a computer LAST WEEK?!

    • Noah says:

      Is your ADD that bad that you had to post the same comment 3x?

      • coren says:

        Is your familiarity with this site so poor that you think ADD is responsible for multiple posted comments?

    • Charmander says:

      “No honeymoon for us – we came home so I could get back to work at my busy job. Life happened, as it does: holidays, a death in the family, busy times… It wasn’t until this July that I could finally sit down and devote the attention to the thank you card process that it required. “

      Um, you sometimes have to MAKE time to do something important. This is a really bad excuse for “I was just too lazy to deal with it for 11 months. ”

      • Entchen says:

        Maybe a little more understanding if “holidays” wasn’t on that list of things more important than thanking people for spending $100 on you.

  8. lilacorchid says:

    Maybe in her neck of the woods they wait a year to send out notes, but not in mine. I think she might be confused with how people have a year to send you a gift after the wedding. (Also not really true.)

    How is she going to send thank you notes to people who didn’t buy off her registry? Are they never to be thanked due to buying at another store?

    My registry was just to give people an idea of what we wanted/needed. I wrote notes from all the cards that came with the gifts.

  9. aloria says:

    Perhaps this is totally off base, but I sort of feel like if you’re getting so many gifts that you can’t easily keep track/remember of who gave you what, maybe you invited way too many people. I know I’d be sort of pissed if I spent a lot of money on a present and the recipient couldn’t remember who gave it to her.

    • brinks says:

      Or waited a year to say thank you.

    • opheliasmusing says:

      We had ~100 ppl. While most gifts were cash, I couldn’t tell you who bought us the sheet set or the kitchen caddy with the spoons and spatulas. After a year, those details tend to blur, especially since as soon as wedding invites go out, gifts can come in before the wedding. Also, you may have registered for the china but only got one setting out of eight, so you return it and buy something else with the cash. But you still have to send your thank you card directed for the original gift. After a year, I can totally understand not remembering crap.

      • pecan 3.14159265 says:

        This is why you start your thank you cards pretty much right after your wedding, or after your honeymoon, when the gift and the gift giver are fresh in your mind.

    • mcnerd85 says:

      Not to be the overly feminist homosexual male, but why is there all of these comments making it sound like it is solely the brides responsibility? I have been in numerous weddings, and I always remember having the couple opening together, then dictating who gave what to someone who wrote everything down. Seems a little more…sensible to me?

      • pecan 3.14159265 says:

        I agree, the man does need to take on some of the responsibility. My husband wrote nearly all of the post-wedding thank you cards for his side of the family, but he did have a little bit of difficulty with expressing gratitude in words other than “thank you” or some variation. I remember we talked about how important it was that people realized that we knew what they had given to us, and that we were actually making it part of our home.

        I think it’s just that sometimes men have more difficulty with the details. Sometimes the men are great at it, and the women aren’t. Every thank you card I’ve ever received has been written by the woman.

    • pjorg says:

      I don’t mean to be inflammatory, but this kind of a silly argument. You’re saying that the number of people I invite to my wedding should be constrained by my memory of the gifts they give?

      My wife and I had nearly 350 people at our wedding, and I can honestly say that we appreciated and valued the presence of every single person there. Do I remember exactly who gave us what? Absolutely not.

      That being said, we were very careful to keep detailed notes for the purposes of writing notes. Which we took a year to get out to people.

  10. It'sRexManningDay! says:

    Wow, does the OP even realize how spoiled and ungrateful this makes her out to be? You can’t even be bothered to thank your generous friends and family in a timely manner…and then to blame your troubles on Target? Totally lame.

    • lemmiwnks says:

      Agreed.

      • Awesome McAwesomeness says:

        What is even more ridiculous is that she wrote a letter to Consumerist and somehow thought people would actually sympathize with her or somehow throw shame on Target. This person is so clueless that she doesn’t have even the smallest inkling that she is a jerk.

        • nbs2 says:

          But remember, this rose above the rest to merit publication. Maybe the public flogging was intended?

    • Cyniconvention says:

      I agree…

  11. Raanne says:

    And what about the people who didn’t buy something from Target? Do they not get a thank-you note?

    I personally kept a record – as we opened the gifts, we wrote down who they were from, and what they were – so that we could send the thank yous.

    I’m sure they already think you forgot to send the thank yous since its been so long. The people who get them will be pleasantly surprised, and the people who don’t will not think any differently tomorrow than they did last week.

    • pop top says:

      “I personally kept a record – as we opened the gifts, we wrote down who they were from, and what they were – so that we could send the thank yous.”

      This is what I’ve always done (open house, bridal shower, wedding), and it’s what my friends do. It’s the smartest way and it ensures that you don’t forget who gave you what and what you got so you can tailor each thank you card to each specific person.

    • RadarOReally has got the Post-Vacation Blues says:

      If NOTHING else, she could have printed out or saved her registry data to her hard drive right after the honeymoon, even if she didn’t have time to write cards right then.

      I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that some people gave the couple cash. No card for them, either.

  12. glennski says:

    Standard practice is to have a notebook or something and write down the gift received and who gave it when you are opening presents sometime after the wedding.

    I don’t really see this as a legitimate gripe as the wedding registry is there to for guests to be able to buy gifts that you selected. It served its purpose, it isn’t a reference service that is to be stored indefinitely.

    • "I Like Potatoes" says:

      When I got married 18 years ago, I had a very advanced “notecard & plastic box” system. It was quite handy – I had the name, address, RSVP status, and gift given for every guest stored on notecards in my little box. I still have it, too. I like to be reminded who gave me the useless “crystal” deviled egg plate (that holds SIX deviled eggs!) or which relative decided that 25 dollars was a “generous” wedding gift. That stuff just never gets old.

      • RvLeshrac says:

        Ah, yes, because the gift itself means absolutely nothing. People just love to give gifts and then have the recipient sit around trashing them.

        $25 is a perfectly fine wedding present, because exactly who in the nine hells decided that guests *must* provide extravagant wedding presents of exceptional quality and value?

      • haggis for the soul says:

        Maybe you could market and sell your Bridal Grudge Kit. Wow.

      • Dallas_shopper says:

        Be grateful you got gifts at all.

  13. opheliasmusing says:

    A cautionary tale indeed. All it would have taken is a simple Excel spreadsheet to keep track of it all: names, envelope salutation, address, RSVP status, table number and description of gift (if any). Am I a bit of an organizational freak? Sure. But I had everything in one giant spreadsheet (saved in multiple locations) that’s now become my holiday card database.

    Also, if she had bothered to read the FAQ from Club Wedd’s webpage:
    10: Will my registry last forever?
    Your registry is active from a few minutes after you register until 90 days after your wedding date. (Link: http://sites.target.com/site/en/clubwedd/page.jsp?contentId=WCMP04-036339#faqRegistry_answer10)

    • backinpgh says:

      Ahhh. So then this is officially the OP’s fault.

    • bumpducks says:

      I had a few google spreadsheets going around the time of my wedding I had one for my bridal shower where I listed the gifts along with the recipe that accompanied every gift. I did the same thing for the wedding because no one can expect to remember every gift, especially after a year ago.

      I personally thought that i took too long after getting thank yous out 6 weeks after the wedding. Then again, I am still waiting to receive thank-yous from a 2006 shower and wedding. I am not holding my breath.

  14. Wrayvin says:

    I’m getting married – I have an Amazon and a Target registry. I can’t imagine waiting a year to do thank you cards, but then again I’m not a crazy busy person either. I actually like the set up of the Target registry better than Amazon. It was easier to change quantities and amounts and swap out for different brands. But I will keep this in mind and make sure I send out thank you notes very soon, if not when I receive the gift.

    • chrisexv6 says:

      Be careful. My sister recently registered at Target and after her shower had plenty of doubles and triples even. Targets registry just plain stinks.

      Filenes (when they existed)/Macys works much better, but is obviously more limited on items and more expensive.

      • NarcolepticGirl says:

        Well, it also depends on if the person buying from the registry checks off that it’s a gift.

      • craptastico says:

        you can’t blame the registry for that. the person buying has to check it off on the registry. if they don’t it won’t register that it’s been purchased

        • Brunette Bookworm says:

          You don’t have to check off the items, just make sure the cashier scans it. However, if someone prints a registry at home and takes a couple days afterward to buy anything, it is quite possible that someone else bought the same item so then you have duplicates.

    • liz.lemonade says:

      Ugh. I usually *hate* the Blame The OP attitude that shows up so often in Consumerist comments, but this one gets under my skin. Look, I am a very lazy person. I don’t *like* sending thank-yous, but I always do it because that’s how Momma raised me. I’m also single with no plans to get married, but let’s imagine I’m about to start my thank-you notes.

      – Sit down at the kitchen table and drink a sip of water from the glass Aunt Lois gave me. Take out my box of engraved thank-you notes. Grab a pen.
      — “Dear Aunt Lois, Thank you so much for the lovely set of glasses! I’m drinking from one right now. I’m so pleased you and Uncle Henry were able to share in the joy of my wedding. Your gift is dearly appreciated. Love, Me.” (Handwritten, that takes maybe 5-10 minutes, and less if you go with a form letter style, plugging in the names and the gifts. Most guests don’t care how flowery your missive is; they just appreciate the acknowledgment.)
      — Reach for an envelope, stick on a stamp and your return address label, and write their address.

      DONE. Ten minutes per note, tops. Let’s say I actually have a life, and I am “very busy”. I could still spare an hour per day and knock out five or six notes while watching the evening news or CSI reruns. If I had a hundred guests, I’d be done in a couple of weeks, or even sooner if I doubled-up or asked my new husband to do his fair share of the work.

      Six months is the generally-accepted length of time for thank-you notes. I know that they’re a slog, and many people hate writing them even if they’re profoundly grateful for the gifts and have offered effusive thanks in person. I totally get that. But I’m also so damn sick of everyone complaining these days that they’re SO BUSY and can’t possibly find the time for things like this. Come on! We make time for plenty of other things in our lives; suck it up and add this to the list.

    • liz.lemonade says:

      “Ugh. I usually *hate* the Blame The OP attitude that shows up so often in Consumerist comments, but this one gets under my skin.”

      Oops! That was not meant for you, but rather the original post. I reloaded the page, and the “replying to comment from Wrayvin” disappeared, so I assumed this would show up as a separate comment. In case it wasn’t obvious from my reply, I totally agree with what you said. :)

  15. You Can Call Me Al(isa) says:

    I thought the registry only told you what items have already been bought, not who bought them.

    • Brunette Bookworm says:

      Yeah, if someone went to the store and paid cash, it’s not going to know who got you that item. Sorry, but this is why people generally keep a list of who gave them what at showers, weddings, etc.

      • fatediesel says:

        I bought some gifts a couple months ago at Target from a wedding registry and at no point did they ask for my name. I made sure they knew it was from a wedding registry so it would be marked as bought but I paid in cash so there’s no way the registry would have known who bought it.

    • Queep misses WarOtter :( says:

      I have to agree. I had a Target registry for my wedding and I don’t recall seeing any place where I could find out information about who bought which gifts. In fact, if you bought the item from an actual store, as opposed to target.com, there’s no personal information being given by the buyer there at all. The registry just keeps track of which items have been purchased.

    • SunnyLea says:

      Correct. I think every one got so caught up in the other bits of craziness here, that they failed to notice, but it was the first thing I thought of.

      And I speak from experience having both registered at Target and purchased eleventy-billion things off Target registries.

      This is what your MOH was for: to write down the gifts and givers and you opened them. :)

    • DoubleBaconVeggieBurger says:

      I didn’t use Target for my registry, but Pottery Barn kept track of who bought what – I had to ask for it, but they had a list of each present and who bought it. Of course, I asked for it (at the store) about a week after I got a mystery no-name present, not a year after the wedding, but I think that topic has been sufficiently covered by other commenters.

      • DoubleBaconVeggieBurger says:

        Another fun fact I learned from that list – most of my bridal shower attendees picked up their presents on the way to the bridal shower. My friends do not plan ahead, apparently!

      • JulesNoctambule says:

        We also got a mystery no-name gift at our wedding, and we never could track down who bought it.

  16. Daverson says:

    I don’t think it’s Target’s fault that you’re lazy, Lauren.

  17. gafpromise says:

    That whole thing about having a year to reply is a myth. Etiquette has no such provision, you should just get thank-yous out as soon as possible. I think it’s entirely reasonable for Target to delete a registry after the wedding has occurred.

  18. rahntwo says:

    Waaaaaaa!

    “Shutting down a registry so shortly after a wedding makes so little sense”

    A year = “so shortly” ? What does the OP consider a more appropriate time? 2 Years? Five?

    Her next post will be how she sued Target for emotional distress.

    Grow up and take care of your own business- don’t expect other people to cater to you.

    • Miss Dev (The Beer Sherpa) says:

      I think her “so shortly” comment was about Target shutting down her registry in November, only 3 months after her wedding.

      • What’s your problem, Kazanski? says:

        Target did not acknowledge when they purged her registry. It was only noted that it was INACTIVE since November.

        Aside from that, she’s lazy and this shouldn’t even be an issue. Send your damn cards out in a more timely fashion!

  19. Dallas_shopper says:

    Sorry, no sympathy. You should have kept track of this information yourself instead of relying on a discount retailer to do it for you. Plus, I don’t believe that you couldn’t have found a few minutes here and there in the last TEN MONTHS to make a dent in your thank-you note list. I am busy too but I had my thank-you notes sent out within 8 weeks of my wedding.

    Sorry, it’s on you.

  20. NikonGal says:

    “Culturally, people are usually given a year to acknowledge wedding gifts.”

    Is this true? I would have thought it would be much sooner than a year. I’ve always received thank you cards within weeks after the wedding. A year seems a bit long to me.

    With that said, I would not expect Target to save my gift registry for that long. However, I do think it would be helpful for Target to indicate how long the registry will be saved. That’s good info to know.

    • Ziggie says:

      I’ve always heard that for weddings, brides/grooms had up to a year to send a thank you. For most weddings I’ve attended, the bride sends the thank you’s in a far shorter time period. In this case, it looks like it’s 11 months later (so not over a year yet).

      Keep in mind that it’s also appropriate to send a gift up to 1 year after a wedding. So making the registry inactive within 3 months seems to be a little preemptive, especially if they encourage brides/grooms to buy what others didn’t buy for them.

      I’m surprised that Target doesn’t either send a final email report on what did/didn’t get filled and who bought you what. It would be a helpful tool for brides. I thought most department stores will give you that if you go in 4 or 5 months after the wedding.

      We just had a wedding in the family where the bride sent thank you notes to the wrong family members (i.e. thanking my parent for a gift another aunt had sent). I’d prefer late and accurate to on-time but showing a complete lack of consideration for who sent what gift. Lists only work when the person taking names & gifts is on the ball and accurate.

      • msbask says:

        I think it’s appropriate to send a gifts anytime!

      • Captain Walker says:

        It’s not appropriate to wait up to a year to send a gift.

        • myrna_minkoff says:

          Professional etiquette experts disagree with you.

          • It'sRexManningDay! says:

            I don’t think “professional etiquette experts” should trump common sense and good manners. You don’t wait a year to eat the food the bride and groom provided for you at their reception, do you?

          • MMD says:

            Professional etiquette experts? OH! You mean advice columnists who are self-appointed “experts” on pithy, arbitrary and outdated rules that have no bearing on contemporary society?

            Sorry. We have the internet now. Time to move a little faster on the thank you note thing. I moved the week after my honeymoon and still had all of my notes out within a month of the wedding.

            • MMD says:

              Oh, and by the way, as quoted above, Emily Post (one of the “professionals” you cite) says you have 3 months.

      • Awesome McAwesomeness says:

        Except that Target registries never list who actually purchased an item, much less their address. This is something Lauren made up in her self-centered, entitled, little head.

    • msbask says:

      This cannot be true. Why would it be? Is it okay to wait a year to send a Thank You for a birthday gift? A housewarming gift? A baby gift?

      Sorry, OP, thinking that you have a year for this is outrageous.

    • Anathema777 says:

      I don’t know what culture the bride is talking about here. I’ve always heard that sending out wedding thank you notes within a month was expected.

      • fatediesel says:

        I think it’s a culture she made up in her head to make her behavior acceptable to herself. I’ve been to dozens of weddings and the latest I’ve ever gotten a thank you card was about 5 months after the weddings.

      • Dallas_shopper says:

        I think 1-3 months is reasonable.

        Both of my female cousins are spoiled and self-centered as all hell. All their lives it’s been about ME ME ME. But even THEY managed to get their thank-you cards written within 6-8 weeks of their weddings. And both of them work full-time. One is a mother of two YOUNG children and is currently battling CANCER.

        The OP’s excuses are fucking ridiculous.

    • NarcolepticGirl says:
  21. krozfan says:

    Oh my word, almost a year, how long do you expect them to keep this data around. What would most people need it for.

  22. Excuse My Ambition Deficit Disorder says:

    Wait…you are supposed to send Thank You notes after you get married….
    why would I thank people for coming to my wedding…eating all my food…drinking vast amounts of alcohol…only to leave me with a huge bill….
    I won’t even start in about the wife…please…her parents should be thanking me…

    • RadarOReally has got the Post-Vacation Blues says:

      Because in the whole circus that weddings have become, they brought you gifts. I’ve heard recent brides talking about how much they “netted” at their weddings, meaning how much they hauled in minus how much they spent on guests.

      You must be in the red, meaning you have stingy friends?

      I think the whole thing is outrageous anyway, but that’s another rant for another time.

    • brinks says:

      And THAT’s why I’m not having a big wedding. SteveDave gave me the idea to get married at Giant Eagle.

      • Excuse My Ambition Deficit Disorder says:

        SteveDave…he has the right idea…people could just pick stuff off the shelf and give it as wedding presents…

    • pop top says:

      “I won’t even start in about the wife…please…her parents should be thanking me…”

      Wow, you sound like a real winner. I bet all the ladies are beating down your door for a chance at wedded bliss with you.

    • craptastico says:

      judging by your demeanor i imagine anyone attending any event for you would have to consume large amounts of alcohol

    • selianth says:

      If you’re begrudging people eating “your” food and drinking your alcohol, why on earth did you invite them in the first place? It’s called hospitality, and you should not be *expecting* anything in return in the first place. Of course, as Miss Manners would say, your invited friends and family supposedly care so much about you that they will be moved to give you a gift to celebrate your marriage, but in your case I’m kindof not surprised that this didn’t happen…

    • El_Fez says:

      why would I thank people for coming to my wedding…eating all my food…drinking vast amounts of alcohol…only to leave me with a huge bill….

      Dude, you’re the host, they’re the guests – that’s your freakin’ job. Serve them food, let them drink and be merry. If you dont want the bill, dont throw the party.

      • Awesome McAwesomeness says:

        I think this poster was being sarcastic.

        • Excuse My Ambition Deficit Disorder says:

          Thanking you for noticing…sarcasm runs deep in the veins…plus my wife standing over my shoulder watching me type this comment…she wasn’t happy…my job for the day was completed…

    • Daverson says:

      Congratulations, chowder. Seven replies, six whooshes.

  23. orangesub says:

    When I buy someone a gift from a registry I don’t want the store to keep my information forever. Also if you buy it at the store with cash there would be no way to know who bought it even if it is from the registry. It’s up to the recipient to make a list of who to thank.

    After a year people have probably decided they are not getting thanked. Don’t plan for much of a baby shower if you ever are in the position to need one.

  24. pantheonoutcast says:

    “Culturally, people are usually given a year to acknowledge wedding gifts.”

    Translation: “Using the word “culturally” protects my laziness from criticism.”

    And:

    “….because I trusted Target to be sensible about the whole thing..”

    They were exactly as sensible as you were.

  25. diddy0071 says:

    First story I read about someone outraged that a company DIDN’T save personal information….

  26. vaguelyobscene says:

    It takes money and resources to store that information, and plus, if I received a thank you note a year after attending a wedding, I would think it rude. A year is a very long time to wait to “get around” to thanking people who took time and money out of their lives to make your special day better. Target is under no obligation whatsoever to pick up your considerable amount of slack. Next time, plan ahead and take care of it yourself in a timely matter. Don’t blame Target for “ruining” anything — this is entirely on your head.

  27. MickeyG says:

    “Culturally, people are usually given a year to acknowledge wedding gifts”

    It’s a year to acknowledge your wedding with gifts (should they do so) – not a year to acknowledge the gifts. That should be done with 3 months of receiving the gift – and even that is pushing it and usually reserved for personalized professional photo wedding thank you cards.

    “The proper etiquette is to send notes within two weeks for gifts received before the wedding, and within one month for gifts received after the wedding. But a late thank-you note is still better than no note at all.”

  28. BrianneG says:

    As far as I understand it, it’s a myth that you have a year to send a wedding present. I don’t think anyway actually believes you have a year to send the thank you notes. I got married in early June of this year and my thank you notes were sent within a month, despite the week of family that stayed in town on vacation and the week of our own honeymoon.

    I admit that I relied on our honeymoon registry to make sending the notes easier, but we kept track of everything as well, especially the gifts that we received at the actual wedding. Since we only had a honeymoon registry, we didn’t receive anything beyond money but we logged every check or amount of cash as we opened the cards the day after the wedding.

    • Awesome McAwesomeness says:

      You aren’t even supposed to insinuate that people should give you a gift, much less basically insist they give you money to help you with YOUR honeymoon. I normally give cash, but if I ran into someone who seemed to only want money and they did not register for gifts, I would totally get them something lame and useless on principle.

      • MMD says:

        So do you object to all registries on principle, too? If someone registers for towels, do you get them tools instead?

        Man, weddings really bring out the hostility in some people.

  29. Sound Money Girl says:

    First, none of my registries told me WHO bought me gifts or provided their addresses. They only told me that gifts were purchased.

    Second, you do NOT have one year to send thank you notes. Proper etiquette says you have two weeks to send notes for gifts received before the wedding. For gifts received at the wedding, you have FOUR WEEKS after the wedding or from the time you return from your honeymoon.

    Third, you keep a personal log of the gifts as they come in – who sent it, date received, what it was, and whether a note was sent. Do not rely on a company to keep track of your gifts, and don’t use “life got in the way” as an excuse for being lazy and ungrateful.

  30. msbask says:

    “Life happened”?

    Shouldn’t part of your (now married) life be sending Thanks You notes to your guests long before 11 months have passed?

    I’m not sure I’d expect Target to keep track of wedding gifts until the bride and groom finally get around to keeping track of them.

    • MuffinSangria says:

      Agreed. She had time to open and most likely use the gifts, but not to thank people for them. Like my dad used to say, “if it’s important to you, you’ll find the time.”

    • DanGarion says:

      Maybe she was waiting to see if she was going to get a divorce?!?

  31. Papercutninja says:

    i HATE brides. All of them.

  32. hmac0167 says:

    Every bride has a book to write down the presents at the bridal shower. And in my case, I even wrote down the wedding presents in the very same book. This bride is looking for an “out”. Writing thank you notes SUCKS, especially because the pressure to do them is all on the bride, along with the registry, wedding planning, etc. The groom gets escapes of a lot of this pressure. Her thank you cards should have been out earlier, and she should not be looking to pass the blame to anyone. This disgusts me, it’s as though Target has done her present givers the wrong rather than her.

  33. PunditGuy says:

    Is this bait? I almost got tricked into blaming the OP — but I’m too wily for you, Consumerist. You can’t make me blame the OP. Can’t!

    • msbask says:

      C’mon.. you know you wanna!

    • NarcolepticGirl says:

      hell yeah, it’s bait.
      Most of the posts by Phil are complete bait. He can’t possibly write all these ridiculous OP posts thinking they have legitimate problems.

      …right?

    • runswithscissors says:

      Hells yeah. When commenters around here will blame the babies for dying in faulty cribs, posting a story like this is just chumming the water.

  34. rpm773 says:

    I knew a dude who got married and divorced in a shorter time interval than the time it took the OP to start getting those thank-yous out. Now that’s an example of “life happening”

    • Snakeophelia says:

      I know someone who had a bridal shower in early October, got married on Halloween, and was filing for divorce – and a restraining order – by New Year’s Eve. The woman who hosted the shower for the bride stayed mad FOREVER that the bride didn’t send her a thank-you note for hosting the event. Sure, I guess she could have gotten around to it before the wedding, but after that point, I thought a little sympathy for the bride was in order. If I recall, I don’t think, she ever got around to sending thank-you notes for the gifts, either…

      • craptastico says:

        sympathy for the bride is in order, but so is a thank you to the friend that did all that work in hosting the bridal shower. it’s not the friend’s fault that this lady can’t pick a guy she can stay married to for more than a season

  35. Miss Dev (The Beer Sherpa) says:

    Waiting a year to write thank you notes is unacceptable. I don’t care how busy you are.

    HOWEVER, it would be classy for Target to put a little note that says “we only keep registry data for 3 months after the wedding date.” That way, people like the OP have some advanced warning. Not a requirement, but a nice courtesy.

    • WagTheDog says:

      A Target wedding registry is not exactly classy, it’s a bit of a stretch to expect classy details.

      • MMD says:

        It wouldn’t be a stretch to add one sentence to the registry printout sheet, really. I don’t think we’re really talking about class here…just clarity.

    • NarcolepticGirl says:

      Also, as people have mentioned, it would have been useless to the OP as Target doesn’t show the names and addresses of who bought which items. And if a guest were to buy it at the store – how would they have that guest’s information?

    • MrBeetle says:

      They do say 3 months….. OP just can’t find it.

  36. bhr says:

    When my best friend was married…

    I set up a database for her with place for gift giver, gift, date received and the store it came from if possible. Plus the option to include an item picture. I also imported the addresses/names from her invitation list

    • Doubts42 says:

      Did she thank you, and if so did she do it within the same year?

    • Rachacha says:

      You should sell that product. I think something like that is really cool, and also helps to set up a home inventory to record belongings for insurance purposes should an unfortunate event happen, and for those who are into that, it helps to record what X person got you so that when they get married a comperable gift can be given to them (or so you don’t regift that cr@ppy gift they gave you back to them)

      • Awesome McAwesomeness says:

        You can get templates on the Microsoft website for this exact purpose. I love their templates. There is always some super organized fanatic out there who puts a ton of work into something, then they are so proud, they share their product for free. Love these people. I got a template for the most detailed household budget ever through the website.

        Thank you anal retentive spreadsheet people for sharing the love!!!

  37. chemmy says:

    I also registered at Target and received two gifts from that registry. Neither had any sender information and when I called, they were unable to tell me the senders.

    I wasn’t able to call up every guest to ask if they’d sent it so I had to wait for the inevitable “Did you receive your gift yet” and “Did you like your gift” to confirm who the two senders were.

    It shouldn’t be hard to put a sender’s name on the packing lists, at least. My guests were also annoyed because they opted for a card and gift wrap. There was no giftwrap or card.

  38. sirwired says:

    It’d be nice if Target sent an e-mail, but I’m going to pile on with everybody else and say that I can’t get too angry about them not keeping the records for a whole year after the wedding.

    The idea that you can wait a year is just bizarre… while I don’t think that there is any kind of official “etiquette rule book” a year seems waaaayyy too long. I can’t think of any conceivable reason it would take so long to write those notes.

  39. redbess says:

    I just can’t believe that she didn’t write down the gifts and givers as they were opened. It’s not that difficult, is it? That’s what I did. The only wedding-related time I didn’t do it was at my bridal showers, but I had someone else writing down that info for me.

  40. Schmeeky says:

    Oh come on, everyone’s being a little hard on Lauren. Yes she’s at fault for waiting a year to send out her thank you notes, but I thought she was relatively reasonable in her demands. If Target is going to delete this information 3 months after the wedding date then there should be some kind of alert or warning pertaining to the policy.

    I didn’t get an “EVIL TARGET” vibe from the email. More like, “watch out, this could happen to you if you are too busy to follow commonly accepted guidelines for acknowledging gifts.”

  41. derelk says:

    You “traditionally” have a year to send a gift, dating from the time when planes didn’t exist and people traveled by ship and it took months to get anything anywhere. More importantly for this case, it’s really NEVER been the case that you have a year to send a thank you note. It’s 2010. Wake up and stop being rude.

  42. savvy9999 says:

    in my culture, my mother would have flown to my house and started pulling ears off heads if my thank-yous aren’t out the door within 2 weeks from a larger event (wedding, graduation, baptism), 1 week for a smaller one (birthday, housewarming, staying over, etc).

    FWIW, I had a similar experience with Bed Bath and Beyond, although it involved us wanting to buy more of an item on our registry. Specifically, our flatware set. We (or more likely, the kids) lost some spoons and we wanted to buy more. We went to BBB to find out what we originally registered for a couple years later, and sadly, but not surprisingly, our registry was gone.

    • liz.lemonade says:

      Heh. Back in May, I went to a baby shower for my boss after work. She gave me a handwritten, personalized thank-you note THE NEXT MORNING — and there were nearly fifty people at the shower. Daaaaaaaamn. I totally would’ve understood if she’d waited a few weeks, especially since I’m a teacher and she’s a principal, and the end of the year is insane. A less than 24-hour turnaround impressed the hell out of me.

      • Dallas_shopper says:

        I hand-delivered thank-you notes on a Monday morning to coworkers who attended a housewarming party 2 days previously at my home. The sooner you write your thank-yous, the better. The gift giver expects it, and you won’t have it hanging over your head. Y’know, if you’re the type who gives a shit which the OP clearly isn’t. :-)

  43. PupJet says:

    She should only be so lucky. Just because she classifies it as “cultural” doesn’t mean that a business does

  44. NarcolepticGirl says:

    8.What is a Gift Purchase Log and how do I get a copy of it?
    Your Gift Purchase Log is a list of all the gifts your friends and family told us about at the time of purchase. You can print your Gift Purchase Log anytime at a Target store kiosk and use it like a receipt. All you need is the password you created when you set up your registry.
    .
    10.Will my registry last forever?
    Your registry is active from a few minutes after you register until 90 days after your wedding date.

    • Hi_Hello says:

      hahaaha I saw the 90 day gift log too.

      The way I see you, she didn’t pay to setup a registry. They don’t need to email you anything when it’s expires. The only time when company mail/email you something when your account is about to expire, is when they want you to send money so it doesn’t expire.

  45. d0x360 says:

    Seriously why is this posted here? She waits a year to send out thank you cards then relies on a company for the information? She could have gotten this info a week after the wedding. They have to purge the data at some point. If the wedding date has passed id say keeping that info for 90 days is more than enough.

  46. NarcolepticGirl says:

    Anytime I get a Thank You note from a bride/groom, they try to make it personal.

    “Thank you for the Nespresso D290C Concept Espresso Machine (Polished Chrome), I’m glad you could attend our wedding”

    Really, I would rather people just send out generic ‘thank you’ notes with their signatures.
    or none at all. I don’t even care about Thank You notes.

  47. ZeshawnWhiles says:

    She shouldn’t even bother. If you send them a year later people then know you are lazy. Don’t send one at all and most people won’t even realize they didn’t get a thank-you, or just assume it got lost, etc.

  48. SlappyFrog says:

    Lazy AND stupid, I am so jealous of her husband!

  49. RadarOReally has got the Post-Vacation Blues says:

    This is from Emily Post, by the way :

    “When should notes be written?

    Contrary to popular myth, the happy couple does not have a year’s grace period. All thank you notes should be written within three months of the receipt of the gift. Ideally, a response should be written on the day you receive a wedding gift. If that’s not possible, set a daily goal. It’s a lot easier to write three or four notes a day than to have to write a hundred notes in a month after the wedding!”

    http://www.emilypost.com/wedding-registries-gifts-and-thank-yous/167-wedding-thank-yous

  50. lymer says:

    I usually just attach last years christmas thank you cards to the following years gifts.

    Just kidding.

  51. SomeWhiteGuy says:

    She didn’t read the agreement when she signed up. Most registries (including Target) delete your account after so many months. I think Target’s is somewhere around 13 months. If she started her registry 3-4 months before her wedding, like most do, her registry was deleted well before she even started thinking of thanking anyone for a gift.

    Sorry Lauren, no sympathy here. I just got married in September and read all the fine details. You should have paid attention.

    Good way to handle this is to get a small notebook (moleskin, composition, etc.) and write down everything you got, who it came from, and even their address in case it gets lost as well in the fray. During showers have one of your brides-maids handle the notebook while you open gifts. At the end of everything open the notebook and BAM you have all your names.

    Good luck with your Thank-You cards.

  52. chiieddy says:

    Each time a gift came in, I wrote down who sent it, what it was, the date it arrived and when the thank you was written and sent, crossed it out. This includes the cash we were given.

    Simple and effective.

    Seriously, how is she handling gifts outside her registry or given in cash?

  53. HogwartsProfessor says:

    Hey, readers who have recently ruined their lives or plan to do so soon, what do your gift registries do for you in terms of record keeping?

    Bitter much, Phil? Jeez.

    What did people do before online registries? Lauren could have asked someone to help her keep track of the gifts as they were received if she was so busy. Then she could have written thank you notes as she went. A few a day is a lot easier than doing the whole thing at once. I just don’t see how she can expect them to keep that data indefinitely.

    • Lauren says:

      Not keeping it indefinitely, I was just mostly surprised that it was gone after three months. That was most of the shock.

      And I see now that the length of the registry info was in the FAQs… But I usually read FAQs when I have a question… it never really came up before then.

      Also, there seems to be a long of anger towards me! I guess all I can say is that I did the best I could with what I had. I appreciate the gifts I got, and the people who game them to me… I was just surprised that everything related to the registry would be deleted in it’s entirety so quickly. All of my gift info is still up on amazon. *shrug*

      I guess my biggest problem is that I went into this not knowing quite what to expect or do… so I just did my best. For those of you worried about the other gifts, I had saved the cards with notes on the back of who gave what and an excel spreadsheet. And handwritten notes. And packing slips. And, as I said, I was pretty sure I had everything. I just wanted to be sure. I don’t think I’m a jerk… I was just kind of surprised.

      • Lauren says:

        Augh, pardon all the typos! But I suppose people might be snarky about those too?

        • Dalsnsetters says:

          People are snarky about your entitled attitude, Princess. Put on the big girl panties and admit you acted like a spoiled, entitled child by not sending out your thank you notes earlier.

          Yeah, life happens. How would have liked received notes like THAT instead of some pretty nice gifts on your wedding day?

          No sympathy for you here, Lauren.

      • msbask says:

        Lauren, I doubt that anyone is actually angry. People just type boldly!

        But you opened yourself up to a lot of criticism and ridicule for the…. ‘I am too busy to thank my guests, and gee, now that I’ve finally gotten around to doing it Target screwed me up’ attitude. Rationalize it in your mind if you need to, but that really is what you’re saying.

        (Congratulions on your marriage, though!)

        • Awesome McAwesomeness says:

          I’m not angry, I just think that she is rude and spoiled for waiting a year to write thank you notes. Feigning ignorance is even worse. It takes two seconds to type something into Google to find proper etiquette rules.

  54. snarkysniff says:

    I dont know why this even got posted the OP is an idiot. She shouldnt have even opened any cards or gifts without starting a list of who to send the cards to and what they gave (to make them personalized). Not targets fault she is lame and unless they were both in the hospital for an entire year there is no excuse for not sending them for a year. She should just forget it at this point.

  55. EBE says:

    If you had sent me a card a year later I would probably say “Who the f*** is Lauren? I haven’t been to any weddings lately?” Then after I remembered who you were, I would make sure I never acknowledged any invitations from you or invited you to anything ever again so I don’t interfere with that “busy life” you got going on there.

    My condolences to the groom.

  56. Ce J says:

    My inner Miss Manners says she deserves it for not sending her thank you notes sooner.

    When you register, you are asking for a gift. The polite thing is to make time to send a thank you within a reasonable time frame. Tsk tsk.

    We are ALL busy and have jobs, deaths in the family, and so on. You had time to open the gifts, right? Why not take five extra minutes and write down who gave you what? It’s not Target’s responsiblity to hold your pretty little hand to make sure you get it done.

  57. Incredulous1 says:

    Did she wait a year to use her gifts??
    Life got busy – too busy to write a couple thank you a night? How about writing the thank you as you used the gift?

    How did this become anyone’s problem besides hers?

    I bet she didn’t even pay for her own wedding.

  58. minneapolisite says:

    The real lesson here is don’t be the kind of jerk-face who can’t be bothered to write a thank you note until a year after the event. Seriously, I hand-wrote very personalized notes within 2 weeks of returning from my honeymoon, and I don’t consider myself a super hero. Anything beyond two months seems incredibly rude unless both spouses were eaten by sharks on the honeymoon.

  59. El_Fez says:

    While I’m usually not down with blaming the poster, I’m going to have to go with a “no duh” on this one. Why the heck would you expect any business to keep your transaction on file a year later?

    And really, waiting a year to send Thank You cards? How amazingly crass. Either be reasonably prompt or skip it, but a year later? Do you just send out thank you cards for Christmas 2007, too?

  60. Awesome McAwesomeness says:

    Culturally, maybe people are supposed to get a year to send thank you notes, but in reality, waiting a year is seriously douchey. Never in a million years would I think that Target or any other company would keep my registry around for almost a year until I decided I would finally grace people with thank you notes. I guess the obvious solution to avoiding this issue is to do what millions of others do–take the time to write it down when you get it.

    Whoever wrote this sounds incredibly self-absorbed and entitled.

  61. backinpgh says:

    My registries on Bed Bath and Beyond and Amazon are still alive and well 2 years after the wedding…I use them often to keep track of items we still need (and want) to get for the house. I think BBB TELLS you your registry will be active for one year, but it’s still up.

  62. Donathius says:

    “She was married about a year ago and had finally gotten around to sending out her belated thank-yous…”

    My wife and I have been married two years now…and I think we forgot about something.

  63. Etoiles says:

    My registry didn’t tell me who bought anything off of it. I kept a running list in a Google Spreadsheet from the moment the first gift arrived (in a Google spreadsheet so that my husband and I could both see it and not double up note efforts).

    Though that spreadsheet does have a couple of “mystery gifts.” Either put the card inside the box or glue it on, people!

  64. Dalsnsetters says:

    Interesting. Actually, a couple of interesting things here.

    1. I see Lauren has actually responded to a couple of comments. Interestingly, they are only comments that support her selfish, immature stance on having someone else maintain her mailing list and not send out thank you notes promptly.

    2. She expects Target to maintain her registry for a year after she is married (which is about 9 months too late for sending out thank you notes). I’m wondering who maintained the mailing list for invites in the first place, Toys R Us? (And exactly why can’t she fall back on *that* list?)

    Come on, Lauren. Put on the big girl panties and admit that you blew it. Oh, and I wouldn’t expect even a Christmas card from any of those folks at all in the future. A year is completely unacceptable in any society under any etiquette rules.

  65. Rking9898 says:

    I don’t know about anyone else, but my wife and I have a rule that no checks are cashed or deposited until a thank you note goes out. Additionally, thank you notes for gifts we try and send out at the same time.

  66. .b.e.x. says:

    Sucks to be you! I wouldn’t expect an abundance of gifts anytime soon … If I received a thank-you note a year after I gave a gift, I would think twice about getting that couple a gift again. Morons.

  67. ginnel says:

    I would think by now every one of your guests is disgusted with you. They can spend their money and time searching for the right gift and purchasing it, take time out of their schedules to attend your wedding, and yet you’re ” too busy” to write a simple thank you. Try to see this from their side. You’re just looking for someone else to blame. Target is not the bad guy here.

  68. sugarplum says:

    You cannot expect a company to store data forever for free (especially when you are no longer using the service). I don’t see a fault with Target’s policy, but I guess it is something to spell out in their fine print.

    At this point, the OP should just throw in a thank you with the 2010 holiday card.

  69. Robert Terwilliger says:

    My wife and I spent our “busy” honeymoon filling out the thank you cards sans clothing. It was a fun game!

    I guess we should consider ourselves lucky that we didn’t get married and then do nothing but work for literally 11 months straight.

    Admitting fault is the first step OP. Get with the program.

  70. Randell says:

    You mean in all that time she was SOOOOOOOO busy that she could not have printed this information out from the registry? Outside of being a self important rude woman, she also expects everybody else to fix her rudeness. If I spent the time and MONEY to get you a fucking gift, give me the courtesy of letting me know you got it, and you will enjoy it.
    My life happens to, and I have shit going on. I’m sorry you are busy, but I bet she had time to take the checks to the bank. Time to open the boxes. Time to USE the gifts. I wonder if I told my mortgage company that I have a busy life and I just don;t have the time to write out the check and put a stamp on it and send it, they would feel.
    I am glad Target does this, and I hope this snot nose is treated like the rude immature brat she is.

  71. awesome anna says:

    Not to blame, cause that’s what it will sound like, but waiting a year first of all… well.. I mean, people have already noticed they HAVE NOT received their thank you card. LOL Also, they closed it 3 months after you get married, why would they need to hold onto it for you? People did get married before online registries, you keep a hand written list. If I received a thank you card for any event a year after it had happened, I’d be all WTF? I’m sorry, I have zero sympathy because they couldn’t spend a weekend after they got married to write them out. We did ours a week later in one night! We just stayed up and got them done.

  72. damageddude says:

    Almost a year later and you’re upset that Target deleted old information? Puleeze. Why would anyone think that a company would keep a list that has been dormant for 8 months for an event that was 11 months ago? I was taught to write thank you notes ASAP, I don’t know what this woman & her husband were taught but it is apparent good manners were not on the list.

    My wife and I were married on a Sunday and back to work on a Tuesday 13 years ago. At the same time we were in law school and my wife was taking a class that summer while working. Still, despite being busy too, we had our thank you notes done within a few weeks. Every evening we came home from work, looked at our list (that took very little time to create, as we opened a gift, we pulled out the address list and jotted down who gave what) and wrote out a few thank you notes.

  73. digisplicer says:

    The very first task on my “honey-do” list was to write down the “who” and “what” of every wedding gift my wife opened. All it took was a pen and some paper.

  74. GrymOne says:

    “Shutting down a registry so shortly after a wedding makes so little sense. “
    And damn near a year later you are worried about it?

    -1 for being a dumb assed consumer.

  75. ellmar says:

    This happy couple needs to take a photo of the Target sign that says: Sorry we are out of (your gift registry). May we suggest (that you grow the hell up and take responsibility for your own laziness and total lack of manners).

    Mail a copy of it to everyone who attended the wedding. Done.

  76. Intheknow says:

    Not feeling too sorry for her. You waited a year to thank the people who were thoughtful enough to send you a wedding gift – on time. Hard to fault Target here.

  77. JonBoy470 says:

    I guess people don’t get married and have kids often enough. Target sucks @$$ at doing registries. If they’re not deleting your registry before your first anniversary, they’re not bothering to take crap off the registry in the first place when people buy it in the store.

    On another note, as has evidently been mentioned already, taking a year to do your thank you cards after a wedding is pretty slack! I think my wife and I had ours out in the first month.

  78. MrsLopsided says:

    I have a relative who says “you don’t send thank you’s to family”. About a year after she was married we asked if she liked our wedding gift. The reply – “Oh we got all sorts of junk at the wedding and put most of it in the basement unopened.” We haven’t sent her a present in years.
    Smarten up. It’s not too late.

  79. JulesNoctambule says:

    ‘Hey, readers who have recently ruined their lives or plan to do so soon’

    Aww, poor Phil — does no one love you? Is that why you’re bitter?

  80. figsandmice says:

    Wow, it didn’t even occur to me to rely on the Target Web site. We had the guest book, and wrote down each gift next to the name of the giver in the book. Between my husband and me, we had thank-you notes sent out within a month.

  81. thewildboo says:

    Did you tear those suckers open so fast you couldn’t stop to make a list of who gave you what? That’s what husbands are for. Delegate, woman! There’s just no excuse for this. Or for taking a year to write your thank-yous. That is FAR beyond acceptable. Thank-yous were the first thing I did when I got back from my honeymoon. I’m especially OCD, but I can’t think of any reason it would take more than a month or two even if you procrastinate.

  82. chocolate1234 says:

    Wow. I just got married last month, and I’m already feeling guilty that my thank you’s haven’t been sent yet. The day after the wedding, my husband and I opened all of our gifts and recorded everything in a google document. I would never rely on any of my registries to tell me who sent a gift. Eesh. I usually don’t blame the OP, but in this case, it’s definitely NOT Target’s fault.

  83. DanGarion says:

    HAHA, ruin your life because you get married, that’s funny!…

  84. HammRadio says:

    The Thank You Note Consortium is very upset at the OP for not sending out her thank you notes promptly. Please immediately send an arbitrary and generic thank you note to your guest list immediately or incur the fine of $0.44 for each guest.

  85. iDuckie says:

    OP fail. When I got married, I was (and still am) a very busy person, but I still took the time to write out a thank you card right after I opened the gift. This person cannot expect Target to keep tabs for her, especially after a year.