There are those who hate their jobs and those who love to hate their jobs. Chris says he is a Subway sandwich maker who falls into the latter category, putting in extra work to make your sandwich suboptimal. He eats your pain with relish. Here’s what he does to your sandwich:
I’ve been working at subway for about a year and a half, and it always amuses me when people complain about not tessellating cheese [ed. see "This Is Not A Test" - Subway Says It Definitely Will Start Tessellating Cheese July 1"]. Now, merely to amuse myself, not only do I not tessellate the cheese, but I also leave gaps in the cheese placement so that an indeterminate amount of your bites will be cheeseless.
Also, I put a really small amount of dressing on your sandwich whenever you ask for it. Then when you ask for more, I squirt out a large quantity before you can say stop so that your sandwich has far too much dressing.
Then, when I cut the sandwich in half, I only cut it 3/4ths of the way through so that you have to messily tear the rest of the sandwich yourself.
Cheers!
- Chris
Thanks Chris! Now I know what to watch out for. If I see you do that to my sandwich, you’ll get to do it all over again until you make it right.
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I suppose he’d really hate me as I only occasionally go into Subway which means when I order I can’t just reel off *all* the stages and use all the exact phrases so they have to actually ask me questions – which they often do with an irritated expression.
now if he’d only put that much brain power toward getting an education so he didn’t have to work at subway
I had a girl make a subway for me at Mission Valley Mall in San Diego, not long before I got stationed out here on the east coast. It was the worst sub i’d ever seen. To paraphrase what I told my wife, she made it with the skill of blind cripple performing manual stimulation of a phallus to a stranger. I think we were in a hurry so I didn’t bother to say anything, but I haven’t been back to that subway since.
So…shortly before you moved to the east coast, you got a sub made on the west coast, and you haven’t been back to the sub place since?
I wouldn’t travel 3000 miles for a sub either, even if it was fantastic.
Thanks chris!! When you come in to my store and buy electronics i am going to remove the power cord from anything you buy. Good luck using that HD OLED TV with the power cord cut off!!
Wait a second, that was a description of every subway I’ve ever been to…. This isn’t a confession of one employee this is their business model!!
Sounds more like a customer who hasn’t had a good experience with Subway, than an actual pissy Subway employee (of which I’m sure there are plenty).
But really, the only jobs that you should be embarrased to have are the ones you take pride in doing poorly.
Anyway, I’m in NJ. No excuse to go to a Subway if you’re within range of a Jersey Mikes, or a Tasty’s
what a douche…
What a loser.
Wow…what a douchebag. Someone like me who was out of work for 18 months before getting a job as a grocery cashier (and in this economy, I feel lucky to have snagged that), and being “customer service oriented” looks at service workers like you as pretty scummy. Guess what? There’s no shortage of rude customers with a sense of entitlement. Get over it. There’s a difference in blowing off steam away from the workplace, and actually trying to retaliate with an asshat customer whom you think is specifically trying to ruin your day.
Sad thing is, it’s usually your type that gets hired before my type, because apparently management at these places prefer to hire complete dicks over someone who might actually do the job well, and (gasp) make people want to come back. Even if it is for peanuts.
In other words…low pay has never been an excuse for this kind of asswipery. Maybe if you didn’t have your job, you wouldn’t have to maintain this angst….
Dude is my new hero!
that’s not very sandwich artist of you chris. now make my sammich right!!!
If I were getting paid minimum wages to make basically the same damned sandwich all day I’d probably find little ways to amuse myself although probably not at the customers expense unless they were being a prick.
Dear Consumerist
Why are we putting sad losers/trolls in the spotlight
If you don’t like your job quit, don’t just show up and do a crappy job in order to piss off customers. Imagine if every employee thought like this.
Dear Consumerist
Why are we putting sad losers/trolls in the spotlight
If you don’t like your job quit, don’t just show up and do a crappy job in order to piss off customers. Imagine if every employee thought like this.
Can you provide Chris’ contact info? We would get along just fine.
That’s why I go to Blimpie!
I was under the impression that the Consumerist was a website dedicated to protecting consumer rights, not for providing a soapbox that encourages people to brag about how they are making life more difficult for consumers. This post has nothing to do with a company policy, or with a widespread problem, or anything really. It is someone describing how he likes to be a jerk. Why are you encouraging this?
Chris should have studied harder in school.
Many years ago at my first job at Round Table I liked tormenting children. If there was a big pizza party, I would cut the pizza all different sizes. Really large and really small. If you remember what it was like when you were 6 and got the small piece. It was a pretty major deal of stress.
that made me laugh out loud. i honestly thought it must be carelessness when there are wee wedges alternating with giant slices!
Chris is a douche, but if I had a Subway job I would probably do stuff like that too.
LMAO.
IF you eat that crap you deserve it! Funny funny funny!
I bet the “Subway Bastard” laments daily that he’s stuck in a minimum wage job. Luckily, this
asshat will likely be stuck in that job.
What an ass. I’d ask him to go right back down the line and start over again, or I’d just walk out (and/or complain to his manager). You can’t swing a dead cat around here without hitting a Subway. If he doesn’t want to do his job properly, I’ll find someone who does.
Or you could go to a restaurant that was cheaper, healthier, better quality and treated their employees properly. You know, like, anywhere else? Subway is the absolute bottom of the barrel in terms of fast food.
I thought the cutting 3/4 the way in the middle was standard procedure? I can’t tell you when I’ve had any kind of sub sandwich that was cut all the way through. And I don’t even get all worked up over tessellated cheese.
Actually, it usually is cut 3/4 of the way for the simple fact if it’s cut all the way, it has more of a tendency to fall apart when you handle it. However, standard procedure is to leave a bit of only the roll attached. If you don’t cut the meat thru, it’s harder to pull apart.
Isn’t this every worker in every Subway location in Metro Seattle? (It’s gotten to the point i refuse to go to the one across the street from school since they’re so bitter and so mean and make “errors” in their favor since they figure every student has rich parents paying for it all. Yeah, sorry you *think* i don’t understand the language you’re speaking, but i do.)
How about Chris gives his job to somebody who actually wants it and will do it well?
no self respecting person would every eat at Subway… its so nasty… they have taken something so quick and easy as a submarine sandwich and bastardized it with their disgusting cold cuts, slimy cheese, and microwaved meets… no matter where you are… the mom and pop pizza shop down the street makes a better sandwich…how does Subway continue to exist?
Because the average American consumer has the IQ of a gnat. I swear, every person that actively chooses Subway over any other available restaurant needs to be fixed so the stupid doesn’t spread. The prices are insane ($5-10 for a sandwich? Are you kidding me?) the food is extremely unhealthy (read the fine print on the health info. 6-inch, no cheese, 1tsp of sauce, bare minimum of veggies, white/wheat only,) and it doesn’t even taste very good.
I know for a fact that Subway meats are the lowest possible grade you can get away with serving the public, and the taste shows. Hell, I’ve known poor folks that worked there who would skip their employee meal and just eat ramen or something at home its so bad.
Why are there so many of them if they’re so awful? Owning one is like a license to print money. The profit margin on the average $5 sandwich is about $3, more (much, much, much more) on expensive stuff like the philly/dogfood. Given that the cost of food is accounted for and the average workload is about 15-20 customers per hour per employee, the profit margin is obviously insane. This attracts the shadiest assholes looking to make easy money, which is why every Subway is a shithole whether you realize it or not.
Are the employees nice to you and make your sandwich correctly? They probably just like your tips, otherwise they secretly hate you and just put on a fake smile to get you to go away, because there isn’t a soul in this world that actually enjoys working there. Some people just aren’t fortunate enough to lucksack into a sweet job without lots of cash or a hand up.
I forgot how out of place those microwavable paper treys look like. Kind looks like kids cooking something without mom and dad’s help. Another post on here reminded me of how cold cuts at Subway at saturated with water.
For the post below, owning a Subway store is NOT a license to print money. They treat their franchisees like shit. Quiznos is the only one that treats their franchisees even shitter.
finally someone makes my sandwich the way i want it.
I work in a convenience store/deli on the east coast, and all of our sandwiches are completely custom, as in they only come with whatever the customer requests, no more, no less. I want to kill those people who order a sandwich “with everything”, or “with whatever comes on it”. Uh, ok, Mr. Everything, so you want 3 types of mustard, mayo, miracle whip, 4 types of sauces, oil, vinegar, horseradish, every freaking veggie we have, and salt, pepper, and oregano? Yum, enjoy that. And you, Ms. Whatever Comes On It, that would be the type of meat on the sandwich. That’s it. That’s all that comes on it unless you specify anything else. It wouldn’t be so bad but when you try to explain how it works to these people, nine times out of ten they argue with you like you are supposed to be a world-renowned psychic and know exactly what they want.
I didn’t think it was possible to make the subway sandwich worse. Note that I refer to it as “the subway sandwich” due to the fact that anything you get there will taste identical excepting the choice of dressing.
Chris,
You’re a miserable little sh*t – didn’t your father ever teach you that anything you do you should do it with pride?
What an @$$
The solution to this is simple: You tell the manager since the employee was unable to make the sandwich, the manager will then have to make it.
Cosmis Deli around the corner makes sandwiches the way I want them. Also Subway smells horrible every time I get downwind.
“Also, I put a really small amount of dressing on your sandwich whenever you ask for it.”
Well, that at least would be a GOOD thing for me. The one thing I hate about Subway is that, no matter who is serving me, whenever I ask for any sort of sauce (usually mustard), they give me an ENORMOUS amount of it. Even if I try to say “Just a little bit of”, or “a very small amount of” or any other qualifier indicating I want a limited quantity of mustard, they still squeeze that bottle for all they’re worth and load it down with far too much.
…and then I ask you to make it over again because you didn’t do it properly, and you must continually remake the sandwich until I’m satisfied. Game, set, match, customer.
And then you eventually pay for and eat the sandwich. So everybody loses?
If you choose to eat at Subway, this is what you deserve. It’s like mediocre cart food with the exception that they don’t hitch the store to a car at the end of the day and drive away. Are you really expecting minimum wage workers with no motivation or stake in the company’s success to give a rat’s butt about your food? Yes? Then you’re confused.
You can bet your tessellated cheese:
1) Find out where Chris works.
2) Send his manager a copy of the little turd above that he squeezed out.
3) Slice his tires.
4) Tessellate his ^&^%$%$#$
5) Wish him a nice day.
He should join the PAFFEU (Passive Agressive Fast Food Employees Union). Honestly, I couldn’t care less about cheese-gaps (but the dressing thing is definitely annoying). Thankfully, though, the integrity of my Subway sandwich pretty low on my worry list.
I think that every Chris at Subway should be fired to be sure we get this one!
If someone purposely isn’t doing their menial minimum wage job right on purpose, then why don’t they quit instead of exposing the rest of us to their flagrant douche-ary? I hate miserable people who feel the need to spread the love.
Isn’t this stuff just supposed to be for people that talk down to you like you’re an idiot or that try and get digs in to show off in front of their skanky gf? At least in the movie theater we were discerning and these were the quickest ways to get your expensive popcorn bag packed full of tiny kernels, or to earn yourself that hot dog that’s been sitting on the roller for the last 7 hours. Not to mention some melty gooey m&m’s that have been shelved just a little too close to the popcorn popper.
As a former service employee, I can understand the desire to do SOMETHING to get back at the customers. The other day, I was waiting in line at a Subway, and the guy in front of me was jabbering on his cell phone. When his turn came, the Subway associate waited a few moments for the guy to make eye contact then finally had to call him to get his attention. Between sentences of his phone conversation, the guy said what bread he wanted. The associate went and got it, cut it, then asked what meat. Then asked again. Finally the customer looked up and proceeded to look through the ingredients to decide what he wanted and eventually he decided on turkey. This process repeated over and over for each thing he wanted on the sandwich.
And it all happened right in front of the sign that read, “Please end all cell phone conversations before ordering. Thank you!”
With customers like that, I’d do things like the author of the article above mentioned. But for friendly reasonable people, there’s no call for that.
Why can’t you just scream at his face at the top of your lungs (or have your manager do it):
READ THE SIGN, HANG UP AND ORDER OR LEAVE. NOW!!! You are HOLDING UP ALL THE PEOPLE BEHIND YOU.
I’m sure everyone behind him will applaud.
And I’m the guy that makes “Chris” remake sandwiches for me. I also laugh my ass off on the way out.
Perhaps we should get him against the building and start tessellating his face, just a little at first, and then when he complains, we completely shred his face, so it can’t all, you know, stay on the bones any more…
Dude – don’t FUKK with my food.