Dollar Tree Annexes Canada, Sells 61-Star American Flag

This American flag found for sale at Dollar Tree has either fallen through a crack in space and time from a future when the United States has annexed Canada, or the Chinese company that produced it screwed up. Dollar Tree, for its part, claims that the flag is a “patriotic banner” and not supposed to be a regulation American flag. Right.


Yes, it’s a plastic flag, and it only cost a dollar, but Childress argues this is not just another decoration at a discount store.

“They can do that to Santa Claus; do what they want, change his face. But this is the flag, and it needs to stay that way,” Childress maintains.

The Dollar Tree assistant store manager wouldn’t comment on camera, but said the flag is sold as a “patriotic banner” — not as an American flag.

No. That’s not a patriotic banner. THIS is a patriotic banner.

3580018861_6b43e55d96_m.jpg

That thing that Dollar Tree sold is an American flag marketed by morons.

Dallas store sells U.S. flag with 61 stars [WFAA] (Thanks, MaryAnn!)

Comments

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  1. georgi55 says:

    +1 for the article, especially the last line

  2. BannedInBrittan says:

    I’d bet my bottom dollar it was made in China. So now that country has 3 exports: Lead, Stinky Drywall, and defective American Flags.

  3. nffcnnr says:

    Now with 22% more patriotism!!

  4. temporaryscars says:

    Tiny American flags for all? Forget that, it’s all about the Tiny Hats. I have quite the collection of X-tra large Tiny Hats.

  5. Torchwood says:

    In a followup story, posted at http://www.wfaa.com/news/local/Dollar-Tree-will-destroy-plastic-flags-with-61-stars-97356779.html, the Dollar Tree store will destroy the 61-star “banners”.

    • ngoandy says:

      There are specific rules when it comes to destroying the American flag.

      If you screw up your design of the American flag, do you still need to follow the proper regulations for discarding it?

      • dpeters11 says:

        I think that if they disrespected the flag that way to begin with, they need to make up for it with a proper disposal. Looks like the Legion and Boy Scouts will be busy.

        • keepher says:

          Wait, wait, don’t burn that whatever it is? It might set off a toxic cloud that will cover all 61 imaginary states.

          I just wish people would quit buying crap from China.

      • raydee wandered off on a tangent and got lost says:

        It’s *not* an American Flag. It’s a cheap knock-off, and so deserves all of the care and respect due to any kind of flimsy imitation: NONE.

      • Shadowman615 says:

        Exactly. But I’m sure if they threw them out the wrong way there nevertheless would be a group of people with nothing better to do that would piss and moan about it on the news. Even though they’ve got a perfectly reasonable explanation, might as well just avoid any more trouble.

    • MongoAngryMongoSmash says:

      along with the ozone…thanks to the burning of cheap chinese plastic.

    • keepher says:

      Wait, wait, don’t burn that whatever it is! It might set off a toxic cloud that will cover all 61 imaginary states.

      I just wish people would quit buying crap from China.

  6. pantheonoutcast says:

    Come on, it’s not that bad. It’s 4 stars away from being the Official Flag of Obama’s America.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpGH02DtIws

    • OSAM says:

      Ah, nothing like a good right-winger with no sense of humor…

      • pantheonoutcast says:

        After enduring 8 years of hackneyed Bush jokes from idiots in Che T-shirts, I was granted near-exclusive rights to poke fun at Captain Teleprompter whenever the situation seemed appropriate.

        • chaesar says:

          I’ll give him that much, there were some good GW jokes (the man was a bottomless pit of material), but there were lots of bad ones too

        • ophmarketing says:

          OK, I’m confused. When did it become a ‘bad’ thing for the president to make use of a TelePrompter when making a major address? Doesn’t, oh, EVERY SINGLE PRESIDENT do that?

          Is that how desperate the Obama-haters have gotten? What’s next? “Oh, here comes ‘look at me, I’m wearing shoes’ Obama”?

          • pantheonoutcast says:

            Every single president didn’t sound like he was running for election every time he made a speech. Obama relies on them, and they makes him sound a bit robotic and insincere.

            Also, no president before Eisenhower used a teleprompter (obviously). And he hated using it.

            • Beeker26 says:

              Which is better than what Bush sounded like every time he made a speech. Or have you forgotten “Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again” and other gems so quickly?

              • thelion says:

                Oh MAN! I forgot about that.

                Remember “Is our children learning?”

              • thelion says:

                Oh! And “misunderestimated”

                Yeah…that was a truer statement than he knew. We really did misunderestimate him…We should have known he would be much, much worse than we predicted.

          • YOXIM says:

            What’s funny is that even the people who make fun of Obama for using the Teleprompter, use a
            Teleprompter. As for p-cast here, he’s like the Consumerist bingo in the shape of a poster. No matter what the subject of discussion is, he’ll find a way to shoehorn politics into the discussion one way or another. And he usually makes an ass of himself in the process. Kinda like he did here.

            • pantheonoutcast says:

              t ws pst bt flg. vn smn wth yr hstr f “nlghtnd” cmmnts cld fnd w t mk pltcl cmmnt bt pst bt flg. t ws jk. Wlk t ff, D-bg.

              • pantheonoutcast says:

                Really? But it’s ok to call a poster an “ass” without the same treatment?

                Spucatum Tauri.

          • TheUncleBob says:

            I think the teleprompter comments come in not because Obama uses one for “making a major address” – but he does things like using them at small town hall meetings and when he’s addressing school children.

        • Marshmelly says:

          Thats because he was a complete idiot. Much better joke material.

      • yusefyk says:

        Obama isn’t right-winger… though his joke surely wasn’t very humor

    • Shadowman615 says:

      Alright, alright enough of this crap, all of you. New topic, ready? Abortion! Discuss:

  7. rpm773 says:

    Stars and strips forever

  8. dbeahn says:

    Math is hard, let’s go shopping!

    • Cleo256 says:

      I enjoy the local news justifying how thoroughly the guy counted the stars.

      “Well, the math is obviously way too advanced to go into here, but this guy sounds like he was thorough in his methods, so we’ll just have to trust him.”

  9. Gman says:

    This Dollar tree has found a way to pull cheap foreign made products from an alternate universe. I humbly await the politicians to start campaigning with “Buy Earth Prime” slogans.

  10. JollyJumjuck says:

    Pish tosh. What’s a few more stars? I say the US makes Chinese flags with one little and four big stars. I’m sure the Chinese will just laugh it off.

  11. TouchMyMonkey says:

    It’s the kind of flag demonstrators in places like Iran would burn and stomp on in the streets. Oh, and do you notice that the stars are upside-down?

    • Clyde Barrow says:

      Good eyes and I missed the upside-down stars. I worked in printing a long time ago and I wonder if this is a printer’s mistake. I noticed the alignment of the stars at the top of the blue field are off also.

    • GuyGuidoEyesSteveDaveâ„¢ says:

      Yes, the “devil horns” are pointing up!

  12. dreamfish says:

    If there are 61 stars, they’ve annexed more than Canada. I wonder who the lucky ‘winners’ were?

  13. Bob LeDrew says:

    Ummmm, 61 doesn’t really work out for annexing Canada. We have 10 provinces (for 60) + 3 territories (Yukon, Northwest Territories, Nunavut). So perhaps “FUZZY GEOGRAPHY” is the explanation rather than “FUZZY MATH”

  14. kosmo @ The Soap Boxers says:

    The stars themselves are also wrong. The patriotic banner shows the correct style. One head, two arms, two legs, as I like to think of the points. The stars on the Dollar Tree flag are upside down.

  15. kevinrw says:

    Couldn’t you fix one of these pretty easily with a pair of scissors?

  16. Smashville says:

    “Abortions for some! Tiny American flags for others!”

  17. RackDaddy says:

    Am I the only one who was impressed with the quick thinking of the store manager? I mean, this person is not only the manager, but the ASSISTANT, at a $9/hr DOLLAR TREE store.. and with a camera in her face, is able to come up with a 30% believable answer. Wow! That’s about 29% higher than most public officials!

  18. Mysterry says:

    50 US States, plus 10 Unique States = 60 theoretical states. That extra star? I don’t know… maybe Canada is thinking about joining us as the 61st theoretical state?

    And yes, unique states have the same rights as everyone else in the US, but they are governed by their own. So that means, not only are they not paying US taxes, we’re spending ours on them (they do indeed qualify to get Welfare, Medicaid, blahblah)! :D

    Fuck yeah, America!

    • Excuse My Ambition Deficit Disorder says:

      If Obama gets his way…I believe Arizona may no longer be state…but then again…Mexico may soon be counted as a state.

  19. razdigital says:

    The suppliers are thinking a bit ahead of schedule if we annex in Afghanistan and Iraq we are already at 52 leaving 9 more to go next one should probably be Iran then North korea and Cuba.

  20. humphrmi says:

    I think I see another problem. I keep trying to freeze the video with a view of the full flag, and the best I can tell it’s got six red and five white stripes. If I’m right, that means we not only have 61 states, but there were only 11 original colonies.

  21. JoeTheDragon says:

    It has the new states like.

    * Upper Michigan
    * North Texas
    * North California
    * Puerto Rico
    * Virgin Islands
    some day??
    * 5 – 10 for Canada
    * Old mexico
    * Baja Calif
    *

  22. chaesar says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZI0hvm10AHo — the origins of the design of the American flag

    any excuse to post a Mr Show link

  23. YOXIM says:

    I would love me a 61-star American flag. I think that’s pretty awesome.

  24. Red_Eye says:

    At Dollar Tree you get more stars for your dollar!

  25. PencilSharp says:

    Just thinkin’…

    50 states
    9 territories (tho 3 are now “Free Associations”…)
    1 DC (thank God)
    1 Mexico (we got a good chunk of their population already)

    61!

  26. Avrus says:

    Oh Americans. We chuckle every time you talk about our country.

    It’d be 60 stars if you counted the provinces (we have ten of them, one of which is the world’s second largest exporter of Natural Gas and 4th largest producer), and 63 stars if you counted our provinces and territories.

  27. Baelzar says:

    Hang it at a public school; kids won’t know the difference.

  28. dolemite says:

    Maybe the extra star is for Iraq.

  29. Randell says:

    Yes, this is the most important issue of the day when people are getting murdered in two wars, we should worry about the accuracy of a fricking flag. WHO CARES! If you do not want to buy the flag, DON’T. Any idiot who needs to buy a plastic flag to prove some jingoistic love of their country needs their head examined anyway.

  30. The Marionette says:

    So out of the dozens of obvious products out there that have an american “flag” that aren’t accurate (ie: different number of stars, stripes, overall shape), THIS is the one that makes headlines? *yawn*

  31. Bamph says:

    Uhhh… unless either America has 48 states, or Canada has a combination of 11 provinces and territories (we currently have 10 provinces and 3 territories), America must have annexed another country…

  32. Emperor Norton I says:

    This reminds me of all those bizarre square American flags that were imported by dollar stores from Bangladesh after 9/11.

  33. brianisthegreatest says:

    What did it say on the receipt/packaging I wonder? This is priceless.

  34. DeathByCuriosity says:

    This is the flag for the Fallout universe, where the US annexed Canada to protect Alaska and its oil from the Chinese commies.

  35. Oranges w/ Cheese says:

    What’s really sad is that most people in the country probably wouldn’t even notice… or care.

  36. Antediluvian says:

    Argh! I so want one of these. I missed my chance on grabbing the 15 striped flag back in 1812 and all the ones leading up to the 48 & 49 starred flags of the post WWII-era, but dammit, I really want to be ahead of the crowd on this one. And they’re gonna destroy them? Bastards!

  37. coren says:

    Is the patriotic banner her entire photostream?

  38. Shonky McShonk says:

    new consumerist annual contest.

    the MOST idiotic statement of the year……….

    dollar tree pulls a full lap ahead of competition

  39. Winteridge2 says:

    Plans are under way to annex Mexico and stop the illegals – how many states is that? Then we could include Taiwan and Japan – that should do it. Or we could make all that useless flag material into t-shirts and PJ’s. Or just sell the flags as is, most Americans would not notice.

  40. RandomHookup says:

    Blame it on inflation.

  41. thewriteguy says:

    Maybe this flag comes from the Fringe-verse where Canada is part of the United States, and Puerto Rico is also a state.

  42. Zach, your favorite liberal Texan politics-and-news junkie/Doctor Who super-fan says:

    My take on this is that we’ve either:

    1. Annexed the ten provinces of Canada, with the new states’ borders extending directly north, making Yukon, the Northwest Territories, and Nunavut defunct and added Puerto Rico just for fun.

    2. Annexed the provinces, but with Ontario separated into North Ontario (with the capital being Sudbury) and South Ontario, and Puerto Rico is not made a state. The territories would remain territories, or the provinces will have extended their borders like in scenario one.

    3. Or made all the territories into one superstate (like someone else said, “East Alaska”), and annexed them along with the ten provinces.

    Voilà! Sixty-one states!

    (I’ve given this quite a bit of thought. Hehehe…)