Smooth Down Your Lady Parts With Camelflage Or Camel Ammo

Think of five of your women friends. Pick one of them. Guess what? They’ve got camel toe. Camel toe is an embarrassing syndrome that affects one in five women annually. Besides the personal discomfort, it carries a social stigma that can lead to feelings of isolation and needs to consume entire pints of Ben & Jerry’s. Now there’s Camelflage, and Camel Ammo, two innovative products designed to smooth down your lady parts.

Camel Ammo is a flexible insert that can be used on any pair of panties, while Camelflage is an undergarment with the anti-camel technology already built in.

Think of them as Spanx for down there.

Have you ever used anything like these? Do they work? Do you have your own solution you prefer? Sound off in the comments.

Camel Ammo
Camelflage

Comments

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  1. pantheonoutcast says:

    Find a need and, um, fill it, eh?

  2. dolemite says:

    I believe it is a travesty of justice to seek to remedy this ‘problem’!

    • PanCake BuTT says:

      +1 agreement point

    • RobHoliday says:

      I concur!

    • Cicadymn says:

      I think it’s a travesty of justice to call this a problem at all!

      I would have agreed that it could be a problem, because things that are sexy on some, are vomit-inducing on others. Take Obese as an example, it’s not a problem for them, because that’s why God invented the paunch.

      • womynist says:

        FUPA….gross!!!

      • LadySiren is murdering her kids with HFCS and processed cheese says:

        All I could think about when reading this post is that song about the “lovely lady humps”. Yes, I know…wrong on so many levels.

    • sonneillon says:

      I plan on lighting this business on fire.

  3. PanCake BuTT says:

    I personally have never used any sort of padding down there, then again I’m a guy, though there is a ‘natural’ kind of bulge I can’t do much about. Certain pants do very little to conceal. I do feel self conscious at times, but oh well, I’ve been blessed.

    Post Script : I can see the comments going on & on for this one .
    I suddenly feel bad for camels!

  4. NarcolepticGirl says:

    i just don’t wear tight pants that go up my vagina

  5. SkokieGuy says:

    See, free market capitalism does work! Not one, but TWO companies offer these types of products.

    But the 1 in 5 stat frightens me (in many ways). What if one of these companies grows ‘too big to fail’?

    Is there a taxpayer bailout CARP (Camel Amelioration Relief Fund) bailout in our future?

  6. TheDoctor says:

    I threw up in my mouth a bit from the terrible. terrible pun that is ‘Camelflage’

  7. Rachacha says:

    I make all my own camel toe at ho…nevermind

  8. Heresy Of Truth says:

    Wouldn’t a better solution be to wear a bit looser, and better tailored pants? I mean, that’s what I do.

  9. Quake 'n' Shake says:

    Next, they can get started on straitening all of the crooked picture frames hanging in American homes.

    • nbs2 says:

      the difference being, we want out pictures to be straight.

    • trentblase says:

      Well, who’s gonna straighten out all those artistic abominations? Your friends? A neighbor? Those fat cats at Washington?

      NOW who’s being naive?

  10. INsano says:

    I’m a guy and think this is a stupid idea. Women have vaginas. If you’re a guy and think this is an awesome solution to a problem that needs remedying, save your excitement for when some expert underwear marketer decides that the bulges in mens pants are unsavory and they should wear some “tape-it-back” undergarment.

    If you aren’t comfortable with your body lots of people will make money off you in your life.

  11. kataisa says:
  12. PanCake BuTT says:

    +2 for Ben! Hip Hip HORRAY!
    1 question though, how did you come across such info… ? Is your bulge out of control as well ?
    Oh dear, OH MY!

  13. Hoss says:

    Ben,

    How did you come across this one??

    • PanCake BuTT says:

      Hey YOU! You can’t piggy back off my post! How dare you! But you’re more than welcome to trample all over my words again, it boost my ego a bit !

  14. Osi says:

    Social stigma? That was back the the 60s … since the 1980s and later, camel toed women are preferred over others …

    This article is plain wrong in many ways.

    • Dopaz says:

      I agree. In fact, I think they need to make falsietoes, like the fake nipple inserts for bra’s.

      Free the Toe! (Freetoe?)

    • janeslogin says:

      Agreed. I always thought camel toe was desirable and women who did not/could not display camel toe were missing out on the opportunity to display an attractive feature.

  15. Cantras says:

    oh boy, a cardboard crotch insert. >.o

  16. Gruppa says:

    But will it help with Cameltoes ugly sister, Mooseknuckle?

    • PanCake BuTT says:

      wow that is really, really funny. I never knew, or would have ever known! Big thanks for putting me on !

  17. rahntwo says:

    Personally I prefer Llama toe, but any kind will do in a pinch.

  18. aloria says:

    I think a better solution would be to admit to yourself that you’re not a size anymore and buy some pants that actually fit.

    Your privates are a living organ. They need to breathe. This goes for hipsters in their nut-crushing skinny jeans as well.

    • aloria says:

      That was “a size [insert number here >” Didn’t realize consumerist wiped out anything that looked like an html entity.

    • NarcolepticGirl says:

      Yeah, really.
      Not to mention that the one of the biggest reasons for yeast infections is if you wear tight pants.

      I guess this might be okay for underwear models and maybe swimsuits ?

    • Big Mama Pain says:

      Yes! Camel toe isn’t just for chicks anymore; I’ve seen pants on guys so tight that the inseam forms a camel toe over their balls. This is not the bulge you were looking for…

  19. wonderkitty now has two dogs says:

    How many things can “they” come up with for women to stick in their underwear? This is just ridiculous.

  20. Oranges w/ Cheese says:

    How about just wear clothes that fit? O_o

  21. rahntwo says:

    Just stick an odor eater in there and kill two birds with one stone

    • Osi says:

      If it smells bad down there, then you have MAJOR body problems. People who live a healthy lifestyle and eat a healthy diet does not smell down there, and they do not smell under their arms.

      • nkash001 says:

        Indeed. On a related note, some men could really learn how to wash down there more thoroughly, too. Penises don’t exactly smell like roses, dude.

      • aloria says:

        Tight pants make it a lot easier to get yeast infections, which usually don’t smell all that awesome. So the odor-eater comment is actually sort of appropriate!

      • dolemite says:

        Does that apply to women only? I’m pretty sure 100% of healthy men smell under their arms. And no, I’m not talking about the sickly pasty vegetarian men that weigh 130 lbs and hang out at the coffee shop, but more of the Lance Armstrong type.

      • Osi says:

        Yep, applies to all humans ;)

  22. kmw2 says:

    … I prefer to wear pants that fit. Maybe that’s just me,

  23. smo0 says:

    I tend to avoid the type of pants that could create this scenario.
    I look good in everything. *lick finger, touch ass cheek, sizzle.*

  24. mythago says:

    That is NOT what comes to mind with the phrase “Spanx for down there”.

  25. Itismemc says:

    Ok so after you hide it dont forget that you can:
    dye it (http://consumerist.com/2010/01/nothing-like-genital-dye-to-dye-up-those-genitals.html)

    give it a mint (http://www.yourtango.com/200939836/linger-vagina-mint)

    or use a ridiculous device (http://waterworkshealth.com/ordernow/6WATERWORKS.php)

    Vaginal insecurity is the new .com boom!

    • aloria says:

      You forgot the vajazzling! (gluing rhinestones to it… DEAR GOD WHY)

      • whogots is "not computer knowledgeable" says:

        You know, vajazzling is not something I’d ever want to do or see, but I’m grateful for it anyway because I think it’s one of the funniest words (well, portmanteaux) of all time.

    • Snaptastic says:

      Don’t forget all those plastic surgeries available for vay-jays too!

  26. MrsLopsided says:

    When the World Cup started I thought that fans were blowing Vulva-zulas.

  27. the atomic bombshell says:

    I think I will just continue wearing pants that fit, instead.

  28. Milehimama says:

    huh. My solution would be to wear pants that fit. I’m crazy like that, though.

  29. nkash001 says:

    How about we stop continually making women feel bad about their bodies, and just wear pants that have a flattering fit?

  30. evnmorlo says:

    First they came for the nipples
    Then they came for the cameltoes…

  31. "I Like Potatoes" says:

    The CamelAmmo site calls it a “frontal wedgie”. WOW – that sounds really painful!

  32. ss60 says:

    could we honestly find any more products to make women feel insecure about themselves….. really?

    women highly benefit from nudist resorts because once they get past all this fashion nonsense they can just enjoy being themselves…. so sad what society does to them

  33. MaelstromRider says:

    I don’t have this problem because I wear pants that actually fit me.

  34. Intheknow says:

    How come it’s always about women? Okay, we shave it, color it, make it smell all pretty, and now we have this camel toe thinggy. Great!

  35. jim says:

    personally I like to use a potato, but for different reasons.

    also I can see a similar problem with ass cheeks being visible that needs to be fixed.

    I think a burka will solve all these problems.

  36. BytheSea says:

    These are basically just cloth pantiliner, and much more expensive. There’s another one that’s plastic and fits over the the whole pubic mons. Anything cloth can wedge between the labia just as easily as anything else, if I needed this, I’d get the plastic one.

  37. hills says:

    I like Lululemon’s motto – “say no to camel toe” – their workout pants are made really well, so your booty looks great & no camel toe!

  38. Randell says:

    This is an old story and one of the companies is suing the other over patent infringement. Both the “founders” appeared on Howard Stern over a year ago. As a gay man, camel toe is just plain hilarious.

  39. Holy_C says:

    Just think. If the vagina went the other way, you know, crossways, you could find someone who’s willing to make their crotch talk–in a bar, after too many drinks.

  40. golddog says:

    The respective owners of both these companies are both bats**t crazy. They’re involved in a never-ending she said/she said dispute over who invented this marvel of modern technology. And to the winner go the spoils…the title of Queen of the Camel Toe and the five or six bucks they’re sure to net on this product.

  41. Torgonius wants an edit button says:

    I can’t believe it’s page 2 and no one’s gone here yet…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3I64m0x6wI&feature=related

  42. Ramona_Little says:

    I have no comment about the product, but “waging war on the front lines” is a brilliant slogan.

  43. lawgirl502 says:

    That’s nasty. What about guys who free bawl it? I don’t want to be able to tell whether a guy is circumsized or not.

  44. RayanneGraff says:

    I really cannot believe that this is a big enough problem that such products actually exist. I’m female & I’ve never had a problem with ‘cameltoe’. If your pants that are so tight that they literally outline your genitalia for the world to see, you’re gross. Wear looser pants.

  45. Bkhuna says:

    In a related news story, health club memberships for men are projected to decline …

  46. SpongeBathSquarePants says:

    Um…Or wear a skirt? Remember when women would wear cute tennis skirts and still be athletic? Or recognize that leggings are not pants, they’re thick stockings, and put something over them.

  47. james says:

    If you’ve got it, flaunt it.

  48. FerretGirl says:

    Of all the things that women are supposed to worry about and feel self-conscious about we’ve got to add another one to the list?

    …of course, if you find cameltoe uncomfortable you could always just buy pants and underwear that fit. I’ve never understood the panties that have a lateral seam. Unless those are made for people who LIKE cameltoe.

    A thong I understand, anything more than that is just too all up in mah junk.

  49. Winteridge2 says:

    Can you believe that I was just never aware that this problem was, well, a problem? What is the down side of not using these products? Ladies? Gentlemen?

  50. JulesNoctambule says:

    I wear a slip with dresses/skirts and avoid clothing that’s too tight. Problem solved!

  51. ekdikeo says:

    hell, i love cameltoe

  52. BarbiCat says:

    Aaaah, Consumerist. More hate-on for womens fashion choices that don’t match up with what you believe they should wear. Stay classy, Consumerist.

    Personally, I love the idea. This would be a great product for those of us who model/wear certain items like bikinis or latex undergarments. I’m getting in to latex clothing fabrication, and would love something like this for modeling shorts/panties.

  53. CapitalC says:

    Does this product also protect against Moose Knuckle? O_o

  54. parabola101 says:
  55. lihtox says:

    The only way anyone will know if you have cameltoe is if they’re staring at your crotch, which is a much greater faux pas than this.

  56. akalish says:

    Often it has little to do with the kind of pants one wears, although the ‘toe can be especially evident in tight pants or swimsuits. More relevant is body hair: people who choose to keep their pubic hair have a natural flage/ammo from the ‘toe, while people who choose to go bare (aka full Brazilian) are naturally more prone to showing ‘toe since the clothing can outline the shape of bare skin more easily.

  57. JennQPublic says:

    These comments are so, so wrong….

    But so, so funny!