Why Your Starbucks Barista Hates You

I always assume everyone hates me, but here is some confirmation from an angry Starbucks barista whose name is not Egon, but who prefers to be referred to as such.

Egon let loose to a Phoenix New Times reporter about the many reasons he and his barista kin hate some of the people they serve coffee to.

Our favorite:
1.) Needless use of the lingo:I’m paid barely enough to refer to a “medium” as a “grande.” You have no fucking excuses to call that medium coffee a “grande bold.”

I call drinks “small, medium or large,” and always feel stupid when I’m corrected and told I want “grande.”

This makes me feel better, Egon. Thank you.

Maybe this will stop someone from writing “big dick” on your cup next time?

Why Your Starbucks Barista Hates You [Phoenix New Times]

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  1. Liam Kinkaid says:

    If you hate your job so much, leave it. I’m sure someone else will take your spot.

    • DorsalRootGanglion says:

      Because, as you know, it’s easy to find a job right now.

      • Liam Kinkaid says:

        It’s obvious he hates his job. He hates it so much that he was compelled to explain to the world how much he hates it. It would be better for everyone involved, the customers, Starbucks, and himself, if he left it and let someone that enjoys serving the public have his job.

        • thisistobehelpful says:

          Obviously it would not be better for him or he would have left. If a better employment opportunity was found and you hated your job, would you stay in the shittier one? LOGIC.

          • Liam Kinkaid says:

            If he continues to hate his customers, the customers leave. The store goes out of business. He’s out of a job. LOGIC!

            • JulesNoctambule says:

              No, that really isn’t how it works.

              • Liam Kinkaid says:

                Well, then…he’s snotty to the wrong customer, who causes a stink, then he gets fired. So, instead of leaving a job, he’s terminated. It’s obvious he has an attitude issue. If Starbucks finds out who “Egon” is, I wouldn’t be surprised if he were terminated for his candor.

                • sonneillon says:

                  Being fired is better than quitting. If you are fired you can collect unemployment in most cases. With a little knowledge of the law you can get unemployment in almost all cases, but most people are not aware of dirty tricks that can be used to get a company to not fight unemployment.

            • Voxxen says:

              Fast-food customers (an yes Starbucks patrons are not above being considered fast-food customers) extremely rarely let anything keep them from getting their fix.

              When I worked at a place for about a year a customer had a disagreement on pricing with an employee (customer was being retarded) and that customer said he wouldn’t be back. He decided that this meant he would figure out the employee’s schedule, not come in on his scheduled days and also talk shit about said employee to his coworkers.

              Fast-food customers don’t have the discipline to stop frequenting a joint so losing customers isn’t an issue on the employee-behavior front.

              • Liam Kinkaid says:

                I do see your point. I worked at Whataburger for 2 and half years and at a convenience store/gas station for 2 years. You get your fair share of idiot customers. You deal with them, then you forget about them. Either Egon gets more than his fair share of idiot customers, or he’s attracting them somehow (by being rude or whatever), or he’s just not letting go of the issues after they’re done. His attitude as it comes across in his letter suggests that he is not suitable for customer service. He seems to think that each and every customer is on a mission from God to make his life Hell.

                • The Marionette says:

                  Actually there are that seem to be on that mission. I work at amc and some of the customers seem like their sole purpose besides watching a movie is to try to irritate the employees. One very good example I can use from recently was a family which the son (he was in his late 20’s) placed an order, i repeated it back to him and when i brought everything to them the woman said “No no no, that’s not right you were supposed to give us an icee with that order”, so I asked the son (who placed the order) “Did you get get an icee?” he said no, i looked that the woman and all she had to say was “oh…. well…” and it was clear that she wanted to say something as if she was looking for something to complain about, but just ended up walking away, the son paid, apologized and left. The woman was standing right next to him when he was ordering and heard me repeat the order to him, so unless she’s deaf when she wants to she was just finding some reason to complain. The funny part about it is she’s been back since and another employee helped her with an order and they had problems with her too.

                  And when I was at blockbuster since there weren’t entirely too many employees working there you were bound to get the same customers, and of course there were the ones that to no end would complain about things that didn’t happen.

                  Anyways with the amount of time I’ve spent dealing with the general public I can say that there’s a large (and i use that lightly) chunk of people who are very very ignorant or just plain unintelligent. It’s bad enough that the employees at some places get minimum wage and that’s the only job they can get at the time, but when you throw in those customers who seems to just make it worse then that’s where problems arise.

                  • perruptor says:

                    People get confused. When I don’t get what I ordered, I usually assume it’s my fault – that I didn’t actually say what I thought I said. Even when I am sure that I ordered correctly, I almost always ACT as if I made a mistake. That usually gets me what I wanted, with no hard feelings.

                    If everyone could leave off the judgmental name-calling and blaming, and remember that we ALL get confused or make mistakes sometimes, we’d all have a nicer day.

                  • kujospam says:

                    I worked in a pizza hut as a manager, and I have told people to never come back, guess what? They come back. LOL I guess our pizza/service isn’t all that bad. You know the costumer is pretty bad when they tell you exactly how they want the pizza, even to how brown they want the crust to be, and then you show the pizza before and after you cut the pizza, and they said looks great. Then they take it home and bring it back 15 minutes later, complaining they want free pizza, and how horrible this and that is. LOL The couple was in their sixties so I assume there was a little insanity in there or something. At first it irritated me, but then once I said don’t come back, it was great. Now if that same couple complains, we just ended up ignoring them. That job was fun, too bad upper management screwed things up. Probably because the boss and some of the upper management where sleeping around behind each others backs. LOL

              • anyanka323 says:

                It takes a special type of person to work in the service industry. At least half of your customer base isn’t all that intelligent, but that half expects to have their assess kissed to an excessive degree. Work in retail for a while and you realize how little common sense people have. Yes, the price in the computer is correct 99.9% of the time. It’s you who can’t read.

                For every 10 customers who threaten to quit shopping at a store because of perceived rude treatment or poor service, 9 will be back in within a week. It takes real discipline to stay away from a place. I know because my mother got pissed at the poor customer service at a Target in the late 90s and stayed away for ANY Target store for over five years. It took real will power on her part to avoid it when it had good sales and go to Wal-Mart or Kohl’s instead. She finally went back when she got tired of Wal-Mart’s worse customer service and dirty store.

                • Verdant Pine Trees says:

                  Well, it’s really not about discipline, it’s about the tipping point.

                  My husband has not walked into Fry’s in about a year, because the last time, a receipt checker started to follow him into the parking lot and physically menaced him.

                  We haven’t been in Fry’s since. Other places you can just “avoid” or “try to avoid”. But when people cross a certain line, there’s no way you’ll go in again, and no discipline is needed.

            • grebby says:

              With apologies to Homer Simpson: If you hate your job you don’t quit. You just go in everyday and do it really half-assed.

            • tsukiotoshi says:

              I dunno dude. I worked at a Wendy’s in my wayward youth and every single one of us hated it there and, in general, grew to despise the customers. I highly doubt Wendy’s noticed any sort of drop off in business because of it.

            • Westerneer says:

              Let it go Liam…. :-)

        • LunaMakesThings says:

          Ha. I worked at a movie theater for several years, and I didn’t hate my job, but sometimes I sure hated the customers. It was an old, one screen movie theater that showed independent and foreign films, and at least once a week we’d have someone come in and insist that we were showing the latest Hollywood blockbuster because they “saw it in the paper.” And it didn’t matter how many times we said “I’m sorry, we only have The Station Agent” they would still insist that we were showing Anchorman, or whatever. Finally, one day a guy brought the actual paper from his car, showed me the movie listings, and pointed right at the movie he was there to see . . . which was listed under an entirely different theater that only had the same first letter as ours. And then of course he was mad at ME because he was wrong, and it was stupid of me not to be showing the movie that obviously more people would want to see. As if the girl selling tickets gets to pick the movie.

          I stayed with that job for years because my boss was awesome, my coworkers were awesome, and once the film started I could just sit and read or do homework, or we’d play cards or whatever. So I hated the customers (some of them) but the rest made up for it.

          • blag says:

            *wistful sigh*

            I’m right there with you. Working at a movie theater was the most fun job I ever had.

            Sometimes I long for the simple days of the low-level customer service job. I’ve been in management with a transportation company for a few years now, and it is so incredibly monumentally stressful. The working world just seems to consume more of one’s life and maybe even more of one’s soul as a person gets older.

          • Kryndar says:

            The Station Agent is damned awesome movie but ya we get similar things where I work. People seem to expect to be able to come in and be able to buy something at the loss leader price of a major supermarket that we have absolutly no association with.

    • sonneillon says:

      There are a lot of people who hate their jobs, but because of circumstances or life choices they need that position. Your advice would empty many retail establishments. I personally think it might serve businesses right if 20 million Americans with really shitty jobs just quit, but that might be cutting off the nose to spite the face.

    • kigert says:

      You obviously never worked retail, or for that matter a day in your life. The minute you work one shift behind a counter or cash register and you tell me you still have hope for humanity. You deal with the nastiest, most disrespectful, and idiotic people in the world. We try to make a living too, for minimum wage or close to it. Maybe if i was making more i would begin taking peoples bs with a smile but for what we are paid whoever is going to replace us is going to be just as bad because people like you are going to ruin them too. (explains the high turnover in supermarkets)

      • cromartie says:

        Actually, while the occurrences of dealing with people who fall short of the best and the brightest at supermarkets are high, most supermarkets are extremely overstaffed, on purpose, to starve the rank and file of hours, and that is why the turnover is so high.

      • Liam Kinkaid says:

        Wrong. Walmart for a year, fast food for two and a half years, and convenience store for two years. I did my job while I was there, then let it go when I was off the clock. Egon has an attitude problem and an obvious superiority complex. He feels that he deserves a better job than he has, but he can’t even handle the job he has (as evidenced by “I am the equivalent of a bag boy. Memorizing the drink formulas is enough of a waste of my processing power.”). He’s paid to interact with the customers on their level and it’s either too much of a chore for him or he just doesn’t feel like doing it. People pay $5 for a cup of coffee. They’re not paying for his attitude. He should stow it.

        • Dean says:

          “I worked in retail for years and it gave me the right to have contempt for anyone who expresses displeasure in the field!”

          I’d like retail reform if only to keep people from turning out like you.

          • Liam Kinkaid says:

            Nice. Either I never worked in retail so my opinion is invalid or I did work in retail so my opinion is invalid. You can’t have it both ways. My statement still stands. Egon is a self-entitled douche that thinks he’s better than everyone else. What I can’t understand is why every employer out there isn’t beating down Starbucks’ door to hire him away, releasing him from his eternal torment of having to do his job.

      • Cicadymn says:

        I’m with you Kigert. I think Liam’s talking out his ass on that one.

        3 years of Customer Service for a pizza company on the phone. I have been called every name in the book. You think, surely it can’t take 25 minutes for someone to order pizza.

        Oh yes it can. Public service is the bane of humanity and I am thrilled to be out of it and dealing with intelligent people at my new great job.

        inb4 herp derp good we don’t want you as our CSR anyways.

    • Westerneer says:

      Who said he hates his job? Have you never worked with the public? It’s a way to let off steam and have a few laughs. Sheesh…

    • bigTrue says:

      Please stfu. Really. I’d type it out, but I’m not trying to swear right now. You can complain about dealing with the public, and your job and still not hate it. This is the same line of thinking that jackholes use when they say “Oh, a waiter complaining about tips again! Get another job!”

      Shut up. Shutupshutupshutup. You’re wrong, and over generalizing, and seem to think that anyone who deals with the public and complains about it shouldn’t be working with the public. That’s not right. It’s the opposite of right.

      There is no way to have a job that deals with the general public and not hate them as a whole. Impossible. We all suck when we’re the public and the only people who notice are the people who deal with them. All of us. We all ask the same stupid questions that have obvious answers right in front of us. We all want to be “on the in” with the people who work there. We all want to feel special and unique when we are far from special or unique. It’s human nature and we all suck because of it.

      Working day in and day out with it, you have to vent or you end up hating yourself, the job and your entire life instead of just the inane and stupid public. That’s what you’re missing. He doesn’t hate the job enough to quit, he just hates the public. It’s the classic line from a classic film that everyone who has ever worked with the public understands:

      “This job would be great if it wasn’t for the f*cking customers.”

      Says it all right there.

  2. mythago says:

    Ah, so Egon is not that barrista who snottily asks “what?” when I ask for a “small coffee” and pretends not to understand what I mean until I clarify that I want a “tall coffee”.

    (Reasons I go to Peets or the local cafe for coffee instead of Starbucks #285,503)

    • strathmeyer says:

      Wow, people have no clue how it easy it is to tell that they don’t actually go to Starbucks.

      • mythago says:

        So, what, I went to a fake Starbucks that was set up as a front by Peets? And that barista who pretended not to understand ‘small coffee’ was actually a plant?

        • mxjohnson says:

          It’s happened to me, too. I feel like a dillweed asking for a Grande Bold, so I ask for a medium coffee. Usually it’s fine, but sometimes, the barista corrects me. Yes, it happens.

          It reminds me of a time I went to a McDonalds in some small town in Idaho, and they had a tub full of packets labeled Fry Sauce. So I asked the kid at the counter, What is Fry Sauce? And he explains to me, in the loud, slow cadence typically reserved for nursing homes, “It’s SAUCE. That you put on your FRIES.”

          • 50ae says:

            I so love fry sauce from my Navy days in Idaho that I make it myself at fast food restaurants while my family looks at me like I’m some sicko

            • mythago says:

              Okay, so, WHAT IS FRY SAUCE?!

            • Kishi says:

              Wait, is there much of a navy in Idaho?

              • Daemon Xar says:

                Two bases: 1) submarine testing in Lake Pend Oreille (near Couer D’Alene) and 2) nuclear reactor research/development in Arco (Idaho National Laboratories, run in conjunction w/the Navy).

                Thank Senator Frank Church and his budget-savvy for having two navy bases in a landlocked state. It’s also the reason that Soviet Cold War-era military maps of the U.S. include a small town in Podunk, ID (Arco) while sometimes not showing larger cities like Portland or Boston..

          • dangerp says:

            I get corrected at starbucks all the time. But I still refuse to speak their f’ed up language. It’s hard to believe that an employee gets mad at people that use the lingo when starbucks has clearly been conditioning it’s patrons to speak nonsense for years.

            • mythago says:

              And, as somebody posted downthread, apparently barristas are supposed to ‘correct’ the customers.

            • pecan 3.14159265 says:

              It really doesn’t bother me. My point when I go into Starbucks is to get my drink. If it means saying “grande” instead of “medium” I’m okay with that. It’s really not a big deal, and I don’t get why people make such a big fuss about it.

              • It'sRexManningDay! says:

                Since I don’t frequent Starbucks too often, I usually forget which Starbucks name equates to which regular-world name. The solution? I always order in ounces. They never get snotty, and rarely correct me.

          • Kishi says:

            Oh, man. Fry sauce. Proof you’re in Mormon territory.

            (It’s ketchup and mayonnaise. Sometimes with pickle relish. Terrible, but three years in Utah while my wife attended grad school gave me a taste for it.)

            • Aquaria says:

              Isn’t that otherwise known as Thousand Island dressing, or the Big Mac “special sauce”?

              • Blinden says:

                I dunno, but I was intrigued enough to seek out some online and order, I’m kind of a condiment junky, be interested to see what this is like

          • mattarse says:

            Yes they do occasionally correct me as well and I come close to throwing something at them. It’s a pet peeve and one of the reasons I stopped going to Starbucks (once I realized I was about to start throwing things I also realized I was taking it too seriously and removed myself fromt eh situation).
            Good Bye Starbucks hello Coffee Heaven.

          • pot_roast says:

            I don’t view it as ‘correcting’ – I usually see it as reading back the order to ensure accuracy. That’s what they’re supposed to do, anyway.

    • trentblase says:

      Totally. And when you refer to Zuul as “a Babylonian god about to drop in on Central Park West and start tearing up the city”, Dr. Egon Spengler will remind you that he is Sumerian, not Babylonian.

      • mythago says:

        Yeah, but those are not mutually exclusive given that the Babylonians adopted a number of the Sumerian gods, albeit often with name changes. Of course by the time Egon pointed that out to you Zuul would have laid waste to all humanity, but these things are important.

    • t-spoon says:

      Um, what? Egon is saying he hates when customers DO use the Starbucks lingo.

  3. fantomesq says:

    A Starbucks employee is complaining about needless lingo? Pot meet kettle…

  4. coren says:

    Um. I get being annoyed with the lingo, I think it’s stupid too, but if it’s on your menu, then of course people will call it that.

  5. Tim says:

    Uh. If I say “one small thingamajig,” the cashier will, without fail, repeat my order back as “one tall thingamajig.”

    If you don’t want me to refer to it with needless use of lingo, don’t use the lingo yourself when you talk to me, k?

    • mythago says:

      Yeah, but he’s getting paid. And he’s bitter. So that’s a totally valid reason for him to vent his anger about working for Starbucks all over your lap.

    • redbess says:

      Sbux baristas are required to “correct” you if you don’t use their lingo. I used to work there and got reprimanded more than once for not doing so.

      • mythago says:

        Which is stupid. But there really is a world of difference between being asked “tall Pike’s, right?” by a barrista who’s clearly just confirming you ordered the correct size, and one who pulls an attitude because, god, you’re probably somebody who normally gets their coffee at a truck stop or something where they do not use refined labels like “tall” and “venti”.

      • Chmeeee says:

        They don’t seem to do that around here. On the rare occaision that I find myself in a Starbucks, I never use the lingo, and I’ve never been corrected. Maybe they’ve accepted that Dunkin Donuts dominates them in the Northeast and silently accept their terminology?

      • Bagumpity says:

        Ask yourself- do you know ANYONE who isn’t aware that Starbucks has stupid names for things? I’m guessing that even though there are people out there (like me) who have no idea what the difference between “vente” and “grande” is or what a “machiatti” is, you’d have to turn over a lot of rocks to find someone who doesn’t know about sbuckspeak.

        And the only conclusion that I can draw is: success. Their marketing campaign to associate silly names for infused beverages worked perfectly. Brand recognition has been enforced. Annoyingly enforced, but the goal isn’t to make you happy- it’s to make you buy.

    • benko29 says:

      It might not always be ‘correcting’ necessarily. They just repeat all the orders they get. Even when I do order a normal coffee they repeat it back, especially if it’s during peak hours and they have a few people working. They’re just not going to repeat back to you your order in the same “wrong” way that you said it.
      I mean if this was McDonald’s and you said “I’ll have a hamburger that weighs one fourth of a pound and has cheese on it,” they’d say “Quarter pounder with cheese,” back to you.
      Just because Starbucks’ terminology is stupid doesn’t make it any different from any other fast food place’s parlance.

      • Tim says:

        Right, but this post isn’t about a McDonald’s employee complaining about the stupid McDonald’s lingo that includes “quarter-pounder with cheese.”

    • angienessyo says:

      When I repeat the order I will say it the correct way, not because I’m trying to be a jerk and correct you, but because that’s how I rang it up and I want to make sure I got the order right. Some people get SUPER offended if I repeat it as tall and are like I ORDERED A SMALL! and I’m like…tall is our small. I know the names are silly but I don’t really know of any place that calls a large a tall offhand so I don’t really get the confusion.

      • Fair&Balanced says:

        It does not make any sense to call a small a “tall”. Large cups are always taller than small cups.

  6. TBGBoodler says:

    Wow… what a jerk. I’d hate to go through life with his attitude.

  7. smo0 says:

    The girls at my local sbux appreciate me and tend to worry when I don’t come in.
    I think I’m easy going and not “retarded” with my orders.. I tend to drink only a handful of items on the menu.

    And those re-usable venti starbux cups, they are holding on to one for me in the back when the next shipment comes in – since I missed the last batch as they sold out in

    Depends on your starbux location I guess.

    • hmburgers says:

      “The girls at my local sbux appreciate me and tend to worry when I don’t come in.”

      Yeah, the girls at my local strip club are the same way for me… news flash… they want a tip, and I mean money.

    • Eat The Rich -They are fat and succulent says:

      The “girls”??

      • smo0 says:

        I’m… a … girl… too?

        I tip when I have cash, otherwise – it’s plastic – no tip.

        • Eat The Rich -They are fat and succulent says:

          Ah, sorry. Anytime I see someone refer to service personnel as “girls” I picture some bigoted, fat guy with lots of hair on his back and gold chains around his neck.

          • Vivienne says:

            Who’s the bigot now?

            • Evil_Otto would rather pay taxes than make someone else rich says:

              The guy with the hair on his back and the gold chains.

              Pay attention.

          • nbs2 says:

            Really? The high school kids at my local CFA are primarily female. If I’m talking about them in the third person plural, I’ll usually call them “the girls.” What else should I be calling them?

  8. fantomesq says:

    My God, Egon has anger issues… He has no business dealing with customers with that attitude.

    • brinks says:

      People can be pretty damn annoying. All of us in customer service develop that same attitude eventually. We’re paid to hide it in front of you, but we’ll bitch about it in a blog somewhere later.

      • ChunkyBarf says:

        As I am fond of saying:
        “I am not paid to care, I am paid to PRETEND to care.”
        Thankfully my retail days are behind me, but yes, working with the public will damper your outlook on humanity for a long time to come.

        • mac-phisto says:

          that’s a good one. i’ll have to add that to my other favorite to describe retail: “i give minimum work for minimum wage.”

        • Karita says:

          I’ve been out of retail for 10 years or so, as it was the only type of work flexible enough to allow me to work full time while going to college full time. Even on my worst day as a lawyer I still thank God I’m not in retail. I worked in a number of retail positions, and a decade later, I STILL HATE EVERYONE ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET. It was demoralizing and degrading, and I feel so bad for everyone in the service industry. Even the ones with bad attitudes, as I know what caused the attitude.

          I know very few people that made a lifetime career of retail/waitressing/coffeemaking. It’s not something most people can deal with forever.

      • Charmander says:

        Yep, sometimes you just need to vent after a day in the retail industry.

  9. tbax929 says:

    Regarding the “needless use of the ling”: Has it occurred to you that people are using that lingo because companies like Starbucks insisted they do so in the first place? If I could order a large coffee without being harangued for not calling it a fucking venti, I’d be thrilled.

    Egon sounds like a douchenozzle. I’ll never have to deal with him since I get my coffee at Dunkin’, where I can just order a large coffee, light with two sugars.

    • DarthCoven says:

      At my local Dunkin, when I order a large coffee, light with two sugars I’m lucky if they bring me something in a cup at all.

      Yeah, the folks at my local DD have a serious issue with the english language.

      Between the pretentiousness of Sbux and the language barrier at DD I’ve resorted to brewing my own at home and Thermosing it.

      • jenl1625 says:

        My local DD is awesome! Then again, they’re reasonably new and trying to succeed in a downtown environment where most of shops have died.

      • selianth says:

        Fortunately here in central MA, I have about 8 different DD’s that I can choose as my “local.” There are literally 4 of them within 2 miles of my house, and several more on my way to work. So if one of them hires a bunch of idiots, I’ll just hit another for a couple weeks while they shape up. God, I love DD.

    • jenl1625 says:

      Heh. And here I always thought they hated me because when I ordered a large and they came back with “you mean TALL” or whatever they call it, I go “no, I mean large”…

  10. rdclark says:

    I’m with her on everything but the “lingo” business. “Venti” isn’t lingo – it’s Starbucks’ own label for the product.

    • ludwigk says:

      lin•go |ˈli ng gō| noun – the vocabulary or jargon of a particular subject or group of people.

      • rdclark says:

        It’s a product label. There’s nothing special about a product label. It’s the “vocabulary or jargon” of anybody who can read the damn sign.

      • drizzt380 says:

        So is McGriddle just lingo for “pancake like bun injected injected with syrup and has a meat product, cheese, and eggs in between”.

        I mean, I have “pancake like buns injected with syrup and has a meat product, cheese, and eggs in between” at home all the time. Damn McDonalds and their damned lingo straight to hell!!!!

  11. AnonymousCoward says:

    It sounds like Egon needs a new job, preferably one where he doesn’t have to deal with actual human beings.

    • Voxxen says:

      It sounds like Egon needs a new job, preferably one where he deals with actual human beings.

      fix’d.

      Seriously though, why do fast-food customers (i’m just gonna lump starbucks in here, its all the same just different products) not realize how annoying and nasty they are? I try my level best to treat the employees at places where I eat like human beings and not slaves/punchingbags/bootlickingscumthatworshipthegroundIwalkon because I know that they are, in reality, none of those things.

      I know they hate their jobs and that a quick and easy customer who tips appropriately is better than 99.9% of the crowd, despite being what the crowd considers itself.

      • mythago says:

        We get it, you’re special and way better than just about every other customer, but to burst your bubble a little: people like Egon do not appreciate you. They just see you as one more potential asshole and treat you accordingly, because they hate everyone and hate their jobs.

        • El_Red says:

          I don’t know, his post looks like venting to me. Everyone needs to vent from time to time. Most of us don’t post it on the web…
          Definitely, if it his everyday attitude, he needs a break. However, occasional venting never killed anyone.

          • lihtox says:

            Slight correction: I’m sure plenty of people vent online (Facebook, private blogs, etc), but few people do so *to a reporter*. (I’m assuming the Phoenix New Times is some sort of a newspaper, anyway.)

            I’d say the real problem here isn’t the Starbucks employee, but the reporter who decided it was worth publishing his friend’s rant (or the editor who decided to let it go through).

      • AnonymousCoward says:

        Except that Egon isn’t talking about people who are being mean and nasty. Egon is talking about people who are…get this….ordering Starbucks drinks, using Starbucks lingo. Nothing worse than that. If he can’t handle that, he shouldn’t be working with there.

    • Jimmy60 says:

      Yes, it sounds like Egon is a young person who is just discovering that people can be inane and stupid. While I resigned myself to that fact many years ago, I could have been him once.

  12. twophrasebark says:

    Wow. What an amazingly bitter person.

  13. Smashville says:

    I’d like to order a 170 degree grande latte just to sling it in Egan’s smug face.

    It’ll cool down, doucheface.

  14. chiieddy says:

    Baristas at Starbucks are supposed to happily grab the cup you want and when they call the drink use the Starbucks lingo (to prevent confusion). With a ‘small’ hot drink, they may want to confirm a ‘tall’ (12 oz) vs a ‘short’ (8 oz)

  15. annexw says:

    Egon, I’m thinking the service industry isn’t for you.

  16. Shivar says:

    cn’t blv ppl r btchng bt HM sng th lng, r ctng lk h’s hypcrt. Splrs, gnss: Strbcks mplys r, h, rqrd t s t. Tht’s hs frkng pnt! H HS t s t, nd t’s dmnng nd dtc- bt cstmrs dn’t hv t s t, nd t’s nnyng whn th d, bcs t’s stpd lng n mttr wh s sng t. thght cnsmrst cmmntrs wr typcll smrtr thn ths n thr sts?

    • Smashville says:

      So do you go into McDonald’s and order two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, and onions on a sesame seed bun? Because that’s the argument you’re making.

      If the company sticks a product name onto a product, they damn well expect you to order the product by the product name. If you have a problem with customers ordering the product by the product name, then you’re in the wrong line of work.

      • Shivar says:

        But those are brands. “Vente” isn’t a brand, it’s a stupid-ass way of starbucks trying to sound fancy and appeal to douchebags. Big Mac? That’s a type of sandwich. “Grande” instead of large? That’s a stupid marketing gimmick that barely anyone likes, that goes against standards followed by every single other food service market in the world, just for the sake of purposely trying to sound special.

        Nobody gets annoyed when someone goes “I would like a big mac”, because that’s what it’s called. But it’s not CALLED “grande”, it’s a LARGE. That’s the term, that’s the accepted term, that’s what everyone knows.

        It’s not the same as going “Gosh why do people call it a big mac? It’s a burger, GEEZ” at all.

        • Smashville says:

          So why do they put it on the board as a grande if you’re not supposed to order it that way?

          The grande is the name of the size in the same way the big mac is the name of the sandwich. They’re both marketing names. And they’re both understood as the way you are supposed to order. If you have a problem to the point that it causes anger issues, you need to seek professional help.

          • t-spoon says:

            Sandwiches have names, though. A club sandwich, a Reuben, a Big Mac. It works.

            Sizes don’t have names. You go to any fast food restaurant and you order a small, medium or large soda. Starbucks lingo is stupid, and fear of being corrected by some lame-ass barista is no excuse for using it.

        • GuidedByLemons says:

          Yes it is CALLED “grande” because it SAYS “grande” on THE mEnU.

        • tungstencoil says:

          Because certainly “Big” in the “Big Mac” isn’t marketing-ese. Nope, not at all.

        • mythago says:

          Yeah, you go ahead and open a restaurant and call your two-patty cheeseburger a “Big Mac”. When the McDonald’s ninjas come for you in the wee hours of the morning, you can explain to them that “Big Mac” is the name of a sandwich, and not a marketing gimmick or anything.

    • oldtaku says:

      Sorry, we have to use the lingo. Because if we don’t then more often then not the guy/gal behind the counter will pretend not to understand what we mean unless we ask for it in lingo-ese, or will patronizingly point out that ‘That is a grande, not a medium, SIR.’

      Perhaps you and Egon and the others could get together and work out some twattiness guidelines so these little confusions don’t occur.

      • mythago says:

        No kidding. It’s very irritating to ask for a low-maintenance order like “small coffee please” and get back a patronizing “Sorry, did you mean a ‘tall’ coffee?” No, I meant that next time I’m going to buy my coffee somewhere else.

        (To be fair, I have been to Starbucks where they are capable of processing the fact that everybody else uses small, medium and large sizes and can internally translate, but I’ve had the little lecture at more than one Sbux.)

        • crazydave333 says:

          Most Starbucks employees can translate “small, medium, and large” into “tall, grande, venti”. What trips them us is when customers ask for a “regular”. You can usually deduce that they don’t want the venti. But when you ask if tall or grande is regular for them, they act like you’re trying to correct them with the corporate lingo.

          But yeah, if I went into a Starbucks and had one of those “true believer” baristas correct me over what size I call the drink, I’d walk a block over to a different Starbucks. The only people who think calling the sizes “tall, grande, and venti” are cute are the corporate a-holes who own the place and the sycophants who they surround themselves with.

          *Ex-Starbucks employee.

          • mythago says:

            That’s exactly it. I don’t mind at all if the person is checking to make sure what they think I ordered is what *I* think I ordered, and it’s not their fault that Sbux has idiotic names for their drinks. It’s the Egons who are being patronizing asses about it, as if only people raised by wolves would refer to coffee with terms like “medium”.

          • angienessyo says:

            Well I don’t like people ordering regular because regular for me is small and regular for others is either small or medium so I always try to clarify what people want.

        • MauriceCallidice says:

          Well, they could be confirming you don’t want a “short” drink instead of a “tall”. Both are available for a number of drinks. The small=tall ambiguity springs from SBUX’s refusal to display the short size on the menuboard even though it’s available for purchase.

    • Voxxen says:

      I very quickly realized that this is not the case. Consumerist readers actually tend to be pretty snobby and classist, though there are a handful like myself that are real, normal humans beings that just like to keep up on the latest industrial douchebaggery and notalwaysright-fodder.

      I don’t think intelligence ever enters into the equation. There are all types here, just like everywhere else.

    • Awesome McAwesomeness says:

      If it’s demeaning to him, then maybe he should hit the streets looking for somewhere to work that doesn’t put him out so much.

  17. Hoss says:

    There are many many of us (me included for sure) that should never ever work in retail. Find other employment Egon. (I do agree with the rant in every point, but I assume some coffee servers are more social that I)

    • Voxxen says:

      I’m one of those too. I just can’t stand any retail position I get into, to the point where the stress is damaging to my health and mental well-being. I had a lot of fun doing web-maintenance and supervising community service convicts, and miss those jobs terribly.

      For some people, though, finding another job isn’t actually that easy. I’d say that just up and moving out of a retail position into a non-retail position without anything else in the equation is damn near impossible. People working retail aren’t there because they want to be, they are there because there wasn’t another choice.

      Continuing education is the usual way out, but is really hard to pay for on minimum wage, especially if you’re currently considered dependent upon your parents. Even though you’ve been living on your own for a half dozen years. Because you’re not 25 yet.

  18. oldtaku says:

    I’m not a big fan of Starbucks customers either, but I think this guy would be unhappy and hate everyone no matter where he was. If you’re completely surrounded by a$#holes, perhaps you are just projecting.

  19. hmburgers says:

    Wow… this dudes angerier then I am!

    Though I partly disagree with #1…

    Yes, it’s stupid to have your own name for sizes… they should be small, medium and large… but, if you can’t get the translation down in your head within the first 5 mins of your first shift ever then frankly you probably don’t have the brain power to handle the rest of the job.

    No, it’s not stupid to refer to flavor generically… Starbucks offers “mild” and “bold”, the one around me will change up what flavor they offer the category.

    The first couple times I went to Starbucks I asked for a “Medium Coffee”, and was question about whether I wanted Pikes Peak or whatever the fuck else they were selling… it was immediately clear there was a choice… so I shove the world “bold” in there… it’s not a big deal to do, and although it is somewhat Starbucks-centric, it’s not like it’s a challenge to remember this.

    Every place has it’s own quick order phrases… Dunkin Donuts around here for example… if you say “Large Regular Hot” they know exactly what you want… large hot coffee, with about 18 sugars and 6oz of cream…

    • "I Like Potatoes" says:

      Ha ha – I’m glad I’m not the only one to mistakenly call it “Pikes Peak”. I did this over the weekend when I ordered a grande pikes peak. The barista snottily said “what?” even though he knew damn well what I meant. Oh, sorry….it’s PIKES PLACE. Then I tasted it and wondered again why the hell I order regular coffee at Starbucks – blech.

    • AuntieMaim says:

      I agree — I think the people who order a “grande bold” from Egon are just trying to be helpful. I worked a Starbucks years ago where we served about 3-4 customers per minute with a 5-person staff during the morning rush, and having customers who knew the menu and could order without requiring a bunch of follow-up questions helped a LOT in hitting our service speed targets.

  20. dragonfire81 says:

    I hate to defend this guy but the way the article is written it seems like he is someone who really doesn’t like his job and likely just had a very bad day (or week). I’ve had days where I’m angry and bitter and wanting to smack around some of the customers (or management for that matter) but I get over it and don’t carry that attitude around with me all the time.

    A lot of times people who work retail are forced to do/wear/say stupid/silly/annoying things because some corporate bigwig thought it would “help to improve the customer experience”. Oftentimes we get it from both ends and that get a person very stressed out and frustrated.

    • Westerneer says:

      Let’s not forget that the author of the NewTimes story gave it the title: “Why Your Starbucks Barista Hates You”, not Egon. It says early in the story “Like anyone else, he occasionally regards his work as an irritating drudge, where lines of proper social behavior are violated day by day.” People on here are skipping all that and just reading his comments which are meant also to be humorous. I really find that most of the commentators on here are missing the point – big time. It’s just a fluff piece and is not intended to be any more than that.

  21. Smashville says:

    Wait. I just realized. It’s apparently not okay to order bold coffee from this guy, either?

    I surely hope Starbucks figures out who this guy is.

  22. Donkey Hoti says:

    I can do NOTHING for myself! The government should make a law to make everyone but me do everything I should do for myself.

  23. hmburgers says:

    D&D “hot large regular”… large hot coffee, 18 sugars, 6oz of cream…

    I was in line the other day and there were multiple people taking orders, guy next to me is asked what he’ll have, he says “medium hot coffee with about 3 ounces of 2% and 2 equals”…you could see a little twitch in the ladies face…she turns to me and says “what about you?”… I said “lahhhge regulah”… guess who got theirs first?

    • RadarOReally has got the Post-Vacation Blues says:

      Haha…I have a certain acquaintance who orders a large decaf (how long since it was brewed, by the way?) with four creams and seven splendas and room for ice.

      I hate coffee.

  24. tungstencoil says:

    What I don’t understand is:

    Why does anyone care if the barista (or waiter, or pizza guy) hates you? News flash: I’m paying money for a combination of service + product. I don’t care if you like me or not. I don’t care if you find my demeanor or actions endearing, normal, or enraging.

    If I do something so egregious your business doesn’t wish to serve me, that’s totally cool. However, your personal opinion of me or my actions means about as much to me as my opinion of you (hopefully) means to you.

    Disclaimers:
    1. I worked as a bartender for 15 years. I liked some things and hated others, including people or their actions. Frankly, I also recognized that I was being paid to do a job, and tried (successfully, I believe, because I did well in tips) to keep my personal opinion out of it. Frankly, I recognized a lot of my irritants were borne of extreme familiarity breeding contempt.

    2. I tip well for good service; I tip mediocre for bad service. I do not stiff staff.

  25. Awesome McAwesomeness says:

    He sounds like HE is the self-entitled jerk. People are paying $5.00 for a coffee, they are a customer, they have the right to have it the way they want it. If you don’t like it, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. You sounds like the kind of guy no one wants to work with or be around anyway.

  26. ThatCaliGirl says:

    Blame the advertising execs for that one. The Barista’s are trained to use the lingo that is exclusive to the business. I’m sure there are patents on those names. How do you feel when you order a ‘Big Gulp’ from 7-11? Or McGriddle Cakes? They are pancakes dammit. I feel retarded ordering some things at times, but hey, that’s commerce. Give the fast food workers a break, they are doing exactly what they were trained to do. Now I shall use the last of my three wishes on a VENTE Mocha Frappuccino.

  27. Eat The Rich -They are fat and succulent says:

    WTF is “Bold” coffee anyhow?

    If and when I do go to a Sbux, I ask for a medium house coffee to go. I get it every time without any argument, correction or attitude. It costs $1.98. I usually pay $2.00 and tip $1.00.

    That is after I wait for the douche in front of me to finish ordering their “Tall Venti Caramel Machiatto with half caf, decaf, dead calf, a twist and light foam on the skim” concoction, which invariably requires the poor counter person to recite it back, to confirm this douche actually ordered something so inane.

    Oh, and the douche person doing the ordering is usually talking on their cell phone at the same time, pay with a credit card and don’t ever tip the server.

    It seems we have become a nation of douches.

    • tungstencoil says:

      I think you said it best, though not exactly in the way you intended…

      • Eat The Rich -They are fat and succulent says:

        My brain was all twisted up with the douchiness of it all.

    • ZukeZuke says:

      Amen!

    • madanthony says:

      Starbucks usually brews two coffees, a regular and a bold, usually a darker/stronger roast. That’s what a bold is. They usually alternate what the coffee is, so I don’t see what’s wrong with ordering whatever the “bold” is.

      Nor do I see how ordering a customized, complicated drink makes you a douche. They are offering them, and if someone is willing to pay $4 or more for a beverage, I think they are entitled to get it made the way they want.

      • El_Red says:

        Ordering it, while talking on the cellphone and/or chatting with your friend, paying plastic and not tipping = douche.

        Honestly, as a client (I never worked as barista), I’ve seen maybe TWO people in total, that ordered complicated drinks and weren’t douches.

        And I drink coffee every day. Every other ”complicated drink” client, aslo acted as a douche. Either by being rude, obnoxious and non tipper.

        • qualia says:

          This is basically why I prefer not to go to Starbucks: You’re working at a company with a fast food model. You’re not doing anything harder than making a double bacon cheeseburger, hold the pickles. You’re getting paid $8-12 an hour. You might even get benefits. You are not a tipped position. You are a line cook making an hourly wage. A tip is nice. A tip is not customary and nobody is being rude if you are never tipped again.

          LOCAL baristas are different since they are exempt from minimum wage laws and usually do not get benefits. Might as well tip.

          • El_Red says:

            No-one forces to tip. Being at least polit, would be the minimum requirement. We are all humans.

    • scoccaro says:

      I find it incredibly rude when people cannot get off the phone to talk to a cashier or barista or waiter. They are basically saying: i am more important than you, and you should just read my mind and know what i want to order/bag my groceries in.

  28. ap0 says:

    The lingo thing isn’t the fault of the customer. If you RTFA, he actually makes some good points. The first one is just obnoxious, though. I get a double tall soy latte when I’m there, which when I order it that way I get it exactly as I want without question. If I said “two-shot small latte with soy milk” I think it’d be a waste of time for the barista to have to translate that into what I actually wanted. Having consistent ordering lingo makes it faster for everyone.

    • mythago says:

      Some of his other points are good, but when you start off your list with an item that says “I am a pompous, bitter ass” and then muck up your other points with ranting, people are gonna tune you out.

  29. pinkbunnyslippers says:

    Egon sounds like a little slice of heaven.

    • BeFrugalNotCheap says:

      I know right? The kind of guy you would gladly drive to the airport…provided they plan to leave the country for good.

  30. Georgia says:

    I work at a Peet’s coffee in a wealthy suburb and most of the customers are reviled by everyone I work with. I may work in service (an industry beneath them) but that is no reason to treat me with contempt.It is not my fault that you are running late and are upset that there is a line, or that there are no maple scones left, or that you are NOT allowed to bring your dog in the store (health code) and I have to ask you to leave…

    People are exhausting and just because service workers vent doesn’t mean “we need a new job”. Most of the best waiters I know are great to the customers face, but vicious as soon as they walk away.

  31. b.k. says:

    I’m shocked this has not been posted yet.

    “No, venti is twenty. Large is large. In fact, tall is large and grande is Spanish for large. Venti is the only one that doesn’t mean large. It’s also the only one that’s Italian. Congratulations, you’re stupid in three languages.”

    • Georgia says:

      Grande means large in italian also.

      Short refers to espresso sizes, short being 1 and tall = long or 2 shots. When companies started offering larger sizes Sbucks introduced the Venti, rather that rename all the sizes they just called it Venti meaning 20 in Italian because the cup is 20 ounces.

    • AnonymousCoward says:

      Grande is large in Italian, too, not just Spanish. Venti is 20 in Italian, which is actually the size of the cup in ounces.

      No, I’m not saying it makes sense. That’s a lost cause.

      • b.k. says:

        (Later cleared up by Elizabeth Banks.) “Do we pay in Lyra or is it all Euros now?”

        • axhandler1 says:

          He clearly missed the reference. I’m glad you posted it though, I was waiting for someone to.

          • b.k. says:

            Well, the part where she later explains why he’s a dick because venti means twenty was good, though.

  32. BeFrugalNotCheap says:

    Dear StarBuck$,
    No need to hate me for I hate myself enough as it is. Can you blame me? I’m a 34 year old out of work virgin who likes cats.
    So, keep your hate to yourselves.
    Thanks.
    Sincerely yours,
    [REDACTED]

  33. Pandrogas says:

    I never worked in a Starbucks, but I understand his pain. Most people who work retail have run into the same thing at one time or another.

    It’s not every customer, in fact, when I was at Staples, I actually liked most parts of my job and most people were fine (some customers were even exceptional). But every so often someone comes in that makes me wonder how we’ve made it this far as a species.

    I never wrote it down, but I have a mental list from that point in my life that bears a striking resemblance to this article, only with more computer lingo.

    Kudos to this guy for actually having the balls to write it down and publish it.

    • mythago says:

      Except this guy is in the “how did we make it so far as a species?” category himself.

  34. Tomas says:

    It’s not all just the barristas… som eof us have gripes, too…

    The other day I stopped by a Starbucks that I’ve not been to before, stepped up and ordered a “12 ounce Café au lait” and got a blank look. I explained that was a bold French Roast with an equal amount of heated milk. She said “Oh, that’s called a Misto!” *sigh*

    No, my dear, most of the Real Worldâ„¢ calls that “Café au lait.” *

    • mythago says:

      She has no reason to care about that unless she’s a coffee fan herself; she just needs to know the drink names at her workplace. Blame Starbucks, not the barrista for that one.

  35. deadandy says:

    “Tall” means large. “Grande” means large in Spanish. “Venti” means twenty in Italian. Congratulations, you’re now retarded in three languages.

  36. Incident8 says:

    So the “making it like you want it” approach to the beverage industry that basically made Starbucks what it is, is too much for poor Egon?? Then GTFO Egon. If you job is to make it custom and be friendly then do so and don’t go around using pseudonyms as names. If you have the guts to say it, then stand behind it or STFU.

  37. JGB says:

    I have never used any of the Starbucks terms when ordering, not in some a pique of anti-pretentious pretentiousness, but because I can’t remember them from one visit to another. I have never been corrected either.

    • ChungkingXpress says:

      I’m a Peet’s patron myself…I always cringe a little inside when the person ordering in front of me asks for a venti frapachino or anything to that effect…to their credit…I have never seen a peet’s barista skip a beat or bat an eye when some moron uses starbucks lingo in a non-starbucks setting…

      • angienessyo says:

        I’m a barista and I usually won’t correct people, but thanks to Tim Horton’s everyone comes to my store and orders an iced cappuccino. That’s the one drink I can’t let slide just because an actual real iced cappuccino is an entirely different thing from Tim Horton’s iced cappuccinos so I have to know what on earth people really want.

      • El_Red says:

        Hey, what’s wrong with Venti Frappucino? It’s just 2 word to define a cold drink they serve. Ok venti is an imaginary word to decribe the largest cup they have, but if you’re a regular client, there is nothing wrong using compagny’s lingo.

        Do you despise people ordering ”Big Mac Trio” or ”Whopper” in fast food joints, too?

        • ChungkingXpress says:

          It’s a term used for a drink that only starbucks serves…using starbuck’s language in a peet’s or other such coffee shop is basically asking for a whopper in a wendy’s…it shows a distinct lack or attention to one’s surroundings…

  38. jj030306 says:

    The names of Starbucks sizes annoys me too, but I choose not to work there. He’s welcome to get annoyed by it, but its silly.. since that is what is says on the menu! Waste of energy man.. just fill the order or quit!

    That being said.. on the rare occasion that i go to Starbucks I order a “small!”

  39. Whosking says:

    I think what he’s trying to convey is that it’s ok to hate your job in silence, but it’s in poor taste to berate your company’s customers in a wide public forum hiding behind anonymity. He’s going on the record here as a representative of his company and insulting the people who are enabling him to make a living. I’ve worked in retail and foodservice before and I’m well aware that some people can be obnoxious customers. I know that sometimes you just need to rant about all the crap you do to feel better about yourself at the end of the day, but don’t do it in public.

    What makes this worse is that his list is pretty weak. If he can’t get over these sorts of things I’d hate to see how the little philosopher would fare in a job where he actually has to relate to a customer.

    Out of my own curiosity I’d like to hear what Starbucks employees around the US make/hour. A few of my friends work at one in MA and they were pretty happy with how the corporation treats them. (stock program, health benefits at 20h/week, etc.)

  40. ChungkingXpress says:

    I’m a Peet’s patron myself…I always cringe a little inside when the person ordering in front of me asks for a venti frapachino or anything to that effect…to their credit…I have never seen a peet’s barista skip a beat or bat an eye when some moron uses starbucks lingo in a non-starbucks setting…

  41. ninabi says:

    Somebody’s having a venti cup of the Mondays…

  42. RogueWarrior65 says:

    “What was your name again? Eggnog?”

  43. crazydave333 says:

    Starbucks and every customer service job with an “always say yes” policy are not creating a great business model. They are creating the Stanford Prison Experiment.

  44. Meikai says:

    Writing as a Starbucks employee is maybe not smart, but here goes.

    Starbucks is a really big freakin’ company, as you are all very well aware. Thousands of stores in the US alone translates to tens of thousands of partners. Yes, we’re called partners. It is what we’re supposed to call each other, even.

    We’re all very different people. There are the douches, the incredibly smiley “how-are-you-functioning-with-a-smile-at-5-AM” types, and everything in between.

    Personally, no one I’ve ever worked with has ever looked down on someone for calling something a small or large. Technically, we are required to call the sizes by their Starbucks-given names. There’s an entire history (and whether or not it is interesting I leave entirely up to you) about how the young company began with the short and tall sizes, then escalated as larger sizes were needed, giving them some goofy names in the process but effectively creating a strong, mayhap even culturally significant signature.

    Complaints like I’ve seen in the comments pique my curiosity. How many of the those who commented have actually been treated like they were idiots, or were snidely replied to when they ordered something? How often was that true – frequently enough I’m sure, since some people are snippy, employees and customers alike. How often did someone just think they were being insulted or looked down upon because of a preconceived notion?

    Lord knows I’ve been bitchy to customers. Not because of them personally (for the most part), but because the job can be stressful and I’m human. And I guess that’s my main gripe with folks who hate Starbucks. The company employees far too many people – folks who just need the money, people with some personal connection or love for what Starbucks represents – for all of them to have this one ingrained evil bitch sort of personality that so many people complain about.

    For all that Starbucks is a contributor to the homogenization of culture, not everyone is going to be the same. There’s a mind behind every green apron. … For the most part. :)

  45. newfenoix says:

    Egon’s comments ring true for everyone that works in the food service industry. He is only telling the truth. Most of these companies are run by people that have never spent a second behind a service counter or haven’t been there for years. Customers are very rude and they expect that low paid employee to kiss their ass. It ain’t happening. Does that give an employee the right to be rude back, no it does not but if they want to vent their frustrations in print, I fully support them. And if it pisses off some anal-retentive corporate ass-hat or self-important customer, so be it. What goes around comes around and if you treat people like crap, that is what you are going to get in return.

  46. Kishi says:

    So, your Starbucks barista hates you because he works at Starbucks. Got it.

  47. seishino says:

    Barristas who have been there for a while know that there are 4 sizes: Short, Tall, Grande, Venti. “Medium” doesn’t make a lot of sense in that context, and “Small” can refer to a Short or a Tall depending on how long the customer has been coming in.

    Say what you will about the soul-crushing nature of rubbing caffeine into your skin all day, Egon just sounds like an antisocial jerk. There are far, far better reasons to hate the customers. The guy who comes in every few days for laundry quarters, but has never bought anything? The people who go into the bathroom to shoot up and vomit near, but not in, an appropriate receptacle? The people who stand in line for 10 minutes at the height of an incredibly intense rush hour, and who only start thinking about what to drink when they reach the counter?

    - An ex barrista

  48. edicius is an acquired taste says:

    I’ve never had a problem ordering my grande bold. This barista sounds like a bit of a self-loathing prick.

  49. Razor512 says:

    If you have a job selling overpriced coffee to people then don’t complain if people are annoying in return.

    • angienessyo says:

      but what if you yourself don’t set those prices? :D

      Don’t take it out on the poor employee if they’re not responsible for the prices.

  50. MotorboatJones says:

    Screw this loser. Get a paper route if you don’t like customers. Like we care!

  51. edicius is an acquired taste says:

    I’ve never had a problem ordering my grande bold. This barista sounds like a bit of a self-loathing prick.

  52. Razor512 says:

    Hey Egan, I ordered a Double Ristretto Venti Nonfat Organic Chocolate Brownie Frappuccino Extra Hot with Foam and Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended

    I wanted some of the ingredients layered with exactly 0.08mm of blending between every other layer
    the brownie chunks were all suppose to be within 0.7-1.0 square mm in size

    The application of the whipped cream was suppose to be symmetrical with at least 98.76% accuracy.

    You failed to provide the drink to me specifications and thus I request that you take it back and start all over until you do it correctly.

    • angienessyo says:

      Alas you can’t order that anymore, Starbucks no longer has organic milk or brownie chunks unless you want to purchase a few brownies and have them cut them up and toss it in the blender.

      • FreestyleDoctoress says:

        Not to mention that it’s kind of hard to make a frozen drink extra hot…oh, I see what you did there.

  53. Fafaflunkie Plays His World's Smallest Violin For You says:

    Here’s why I stopped going to Starbucks ages ago: 1> snotty employees who look at me funny when I ask for a “large double-double”. Sorry, did you not learn the Canadian lingo yet? 2> their coffee tastes like it was filtered through dirty socks, and 3> Tim Hortons coffee tastes much better and is far less expensive than whatever excuse for coffee comes from Starbucks. Small wonder why the anarchist dicks went smashing up all the Starbucks here in Toronto over the weekend during the G20 summit (okay, I know, boo me, they just wanted to be a bunch of a-holes and smash up anything they can throw bricks at.) Nonetheless, I avoid Starbucks like the plague.

    • angienessyo says:

      I would look at you funny but that’s because I’m not in Canada so I have no idea what that is.

      • El_Red says:

        I’d probably tell him that he’s an obnoxious jerk. Because I am from Canada. And cannot stand disrespectful and/or rude fellow customers.

        And if I would be really feeling cranky, I’d also mention that double-double isn’t real coffee. Lattés and Esspressos are.

    • El_Red says:

      I’m from Canada, and an avid coffee drinker, and have NO idea what is a large ”double-double” means.

      Baristas do not read thoughts. You are exactly the kind of client that irritate baristas. You’re basically saying ”you’re stupid if you don’t know what *I* want.” That is very obnoxious behaviour from my point of view. And I have never been a barista. I am just a client.

      And if you loooove Tim Horton’s coffee so much, what do you do at Starbucks?

      • Fafaflunkie Plays His World's Smallest Violin For You says:

        Hence the reason why I *don’t* go to Starbucks. Btw- any other coffee shop I go to, they know what a large double-double means. Sorry, but the last time I went to a Sbux and had to translate what “tall” and “venti” meant, my mind just about exploded. Fortunately they knew what “large” meant.

      • katefromcanada says:

        Aww, not knowing what a double-double is means you didn’t understand that very moving Olympics commercial with the nice grandfather and the little kid who plays hockey.

        I love that commercial.

        I don’t put sugar in my coffee, but I had to learn what a double-double was in cultural self defence.

        (In case you actually don’t know, its Tims coffee with two sugar, two cream. Too much stuff for me, but Tim’s coffee is so awful that I understand the need to cover the taste. What on earth do they put in it to make it so addictive?)

    • joycecarolgoats says:

      The irony here is, the term double-double is as much of a piece of TimHo’s lingo as say, Tall, Grande or Venti is Sbux lingo. Double-double, at least not here in the West of Canada (and believe me, we have plenty of TimHo’s here) is NOT canadian vernacular. You wouldn’t go to Blenz or Waves coffee here and order a double-double.

  54. Fafaflunkie Plays His World's Smallest Violin For You says:

    Perhaps this is the reason why Sbux is going to give you free Wifi access come this Thursday? Try to win back the disgruntled who are sick of the snotty attitude of the baristas? Wonder how said baristas will feel when patrons will stay there for hours on end, asking where they can plug their laptops in so the batteries won’t die while mooching more free internet from them?

  55. kigert says:

    i used to work at seattles best (owned by starbucks) and it seems like baristas get the worst mix of customers. I once had a woman complain i put sugar in her plain latte and she claimed it sent her to a diabetic shock. It turned out she drank her daughters javakula(frapacino) that was ordered separately and i was not asked if there was sugar in it. I felt horrible because i didnt know that i was hired to babysit the customer through their dietary needs. Almost as bad are the people who want so much foam they keep sending it back despite the fact foam dissolves eventually

    • newfenoix says:

      Didn’t you know that the ability to read minds, wipe butts and spoon fed people was required to work in the food service industry???

  56. kigert says:

    i used to work at seattles best (owned by starbucks) and it seems like baristas get the worst mix of customers. I once had a woman complain i put sugar in her plain latte and she claimed it sent her to a diabetic shock. It turned out she drank her daughters javakula(frapacino) that was ordered separately and i was not asked if there was sugar in it. I felt horrible because i didnt know that i was hired to babysit the customer through their dietary needs. Almost as bad are the people who want so much foam they keep sending it back despite the fact foam dissolves eventually

  57. kittylauper says:

    Point of interest, Starbucks makes working at other, independent coffee shops difficult. I will get a customer order a “tall coffee” and when I confirm that they want a small, they say “no, that’s a large” and then I want to bash my head against a wall because of their stupidity.

    • brinks says:

      I get so used to ordering the special Starbucks way that when I go in anywhere else I screw up. I forget that I can call it a “medium” everywhere else. I don’t have to be pretentious and ask for a “grande,” but I always do.

      • kittylauper says:

        My point was that starbucks folks don’t even know what their sizes mean. Tall is not a large…but somehow that’s what they meant. I’m so sick of Starbucks making my job harder. See also, their abomination of a macchiato.

  58. DarkPsion says:

    Most customers are good and a few are great people you love to wait on, but the bad customers despite being the minority, just somehow manage to piss you off far more than the others make you feel good. They just stick in your head.

    I can still remember some of my worst and they still piss me off; some 15 years later.

    The first “complaint to the boss” was a lady who walked into the greenhouse and demanded service. The fact there were about 20 other people already there was irrelevant to her.

    The lady with the little dog that had breath of 1000 corpses. And of course she held it right at my face level.

    The “Hydranium” lady, she wanted a cross between a Hydrangea and a Geranium.

    The “Japonica” lady, for 3 years she would come in and ask for a Japonica Bush. I kept explaining that that was only half of the plant’s latin name and all it meant was that it was “from Japan”.

    The OCD Paint lady, I think her record was bringing back a gallon of paint 14 times in one week because “it’s not right”.

    And my personal favorite, the Dramatic Hamster lady, she responded to everything just like the hamster. No mater what you said, Hi, Nice weather we are having, sorry we are out of roses, she would react with a look of dramatic shock, Duh, Duh, Dunnnnn!

  59. BobOblah says:

    At first it was kind of neat to order exactly the way my baristas ordered. But then it got old, and then I stopped having to order. Got some free goodies, too. Being a regular at an irregular time pays off.

  60. notgoodenough says:

    Someone buy this guy a box of tampons. He’s clearly premenstrual.

  61. Crazytree says:

    Egon should have studied harder in school so he could have qualified for a job where he doesn’t hate his customers.

    • Rectilinear Propagation says:

      Getting paid more does not mean that the customers don’t suck. If you have customers some of them will suck, no exceptions.

  62. kashatikit says:

    I love these minimum wage losers who express their frustrations with their empty lives by mistreating paying customers, then post stories like this and expect to find a sympathetic ear. If the BEST job you can obtain as an adult is pouring cups of coffee, let me offer an alternative suggestion;

    Here’s the equation, Einstein (for all you baristas out there, Albert Einstein was a very famous smart man)

    Strong rope + tall tree + ladder = end of your problems.

    Next in line, please!!!

    • Rectilinear Propagation says:

      Strong rope + tall tree + ladder = end of your problems.

      Do everyone a favor and take your own advice.

  63. JollyJumjuck says:

    Why I hate SB baristas: you make at least minimum wage, yet you think you deserve a tip. You don’t. Plenty of people in the service industry (food and non) hustle to get you what you want, but don’t get anything more than their wage. Deal with it. Don’t think you’re special just because you get people what they ask for.

  64. anduin says:

    This should be “why this barista hates you”, the Starbucks I frequent has really nice baristas that always deliver what I want. Honestly, most people hate the place for overpriced coffee but the indy coffee houses are way downtown or off the beaten path which makes me waste gas to null the savings.

  65. wonderkitty now has two dogs says:

    Starbucks is actually a decent company to work for, and if this guy feels he is so much better than everyone else he can give that job to someone else.

    My favorite barista is the single dad of 4 who is there for the insurance benefits. He is the happiest barista I have ever met.

  66. Bullmoose says:

    All the people with the “If he doesn’t like the job, get a new one” attitudes are all the reasons he’s so bitter. You think these people are here to do whatever you want in the name of “customer service”. Anyone who has waited tables knows that people expect you to kiss and wipe their golden asses. How about we stop giving every employee at Starbucks or McDonalds a hard time about “customer service”. These jobs are the worst. It’s just coffee and it’s just a hamburger.

  67. Benjamin Stearns says:

    Let’s turn the tables a bit…

    The Baristas (I hate that word) should love us. Without us, they don’t have jobs! Personally, I’m not a fan of Starbucks coffee. I only go there for the wifi. I do buy drinks, but not coffee. They should love me for how easy I make it for them.

  68. AstroWorn2010 says:

    Anyone who has worked in the service industry or retail sales will know that this how some people cope with the constant flow of people. Having spent many years in retail I totally relate to Egon, I would blow off steam with fellow coworkers about the common annoyances of the job and customers. Sometimes it would get downright vulgar and funny and it helped deal with the mindlessness of the job and sometimes difficult people we would deal with, but I would never let the public see that side. I think we all do this on some level or another, every job has things something that you don’t agree with, most times it doesn’t get published in an article online.

  69. AstroWorn2010 says:

    Anyone who has worked in the service industry or retail sales will know that this how some people cope with the constant flow of people. Having spent many years in retail I totally relate to Egon, I would blow off steam with fellow coworkers about the common annoyances of the job and customers. Sometimes it would get downright vulgar and funny and it helped deal with the mindlessness of the job, but I would never let the public see that side.

  70. Michaela says:

    I simply see Egon as just another member of the anti-customer movement. We had a similar story in our university paper, in which a worker complained that customers should only be allowed to order things exactly as they are on the menu (especially if it is something you could pull off yourself). He must be friends with Panera Bread girl, and Chick fila guy, both of who glared at me when I asked for a salad without chicken (I am a vegetarian…not PETA member though).

    Luckily, the majority of people in the service industry do not feel above serving customers. The workers at the university coffee shop are always quick getting my drink and servers at a restaurant I visit weekly have my drink at my table as soon as I walk inside (for this, and the fact they have given me free drinks, deal with my strange orders, and always give me a cup of soda to go, I tip them about 30%).

    I am glad he didn’t mention tips. I DO NOT TIP at Starbucks. Go ahead…gasp. I actually don’t tip at ANY coffee shop. I buy plain coffee. No cream. No flavor squirts. I order black coffee. Therefore, I find it stupid to spend an extra 50 cents because a person was able to pull a lever.

  71. chemicalx9 says:

    Sounds like this kid lives at home and his parents pays his bills.

  72. Tongsy says:

    When they make the sizes on their board “small, medium, and large” instead of “medium, large, and extra large” (with small being unadvertised but available) then I’ll stop using their stupid terms.

    The number of times I’ve ended up with a small size when I’ve wanted a medium size is a few too many.

  73. laffmakr says:

    Screw it. Find a locally owned coffee shop with better prices, better service and less pretense.

  74. Cyco says:

    What an angry little man. That is the stuff you deal with in a customer service job. Why would he even want to work there if he can’t deal with that kind of interaction? Maybe he should be putting his resumes out to other places that deal less with the public.

    • Rectilinear Propagation says:

      Why would he even want to work there if he can’t deal with that kind of interaction?

      Because he enjoys having enough money to feed and clothe himself.

  75. MeOhMy says:

    Sorry, but there is a reason they correct you: THEY WANT YOU TO GET WHAT YOU ORDERED. They really have 4 sizes, so even “medium” is potentially ambiguous. When you tell a SBUX Barista you want a large coffee and they ask you if you mean “venti” they aren’t being pretentious a-holes or because they have drunk so much of the kool-aid that they cannot understand normal sizes, they just want to make sure you get the one you want.

  76. Bob says:

    I think if the Starbucks barista hates you then it is a big clue to do what he wants and never see him and the store again. Why would I go to a business that has employees that hate me?

  77. Link_Shinigami says:

    People are missing what’s really being said, he hates the customers. Not the job. He probably loves the job when the tools aren’t around to be morons.

  78. OranjeLament says:

    If he’s a dude shouldn’t he be called a ‘baristo?’

  79. NarcolepticGirl says:

    There’s a reason I have never worked retail or in customer service – because I know I would end up looking/feeling like a complete asshole like “Egon”.
    There’s just some of us that shouldn’t be working in those fields.

  80. ndonahue says:

    How does this absolutely inane posting about a whiny kid who doesn’t like it when customers order items by their menu name come from a website that was just named one of the top 25 blogs?

    It feels akin to the curse of the Sports Illustrated cover… regression to the mean.

  81. kricka says:

    Maybe they hate their job so much because their coffee blows? I’ll take my happy local coffee baristas and their yummy coffee (and it’s cheaper too!) that comes in Big or Small.

  82. Rectilinear Propagation says:

    All these people acting like they absolutely love every single aspect of their own jobs are liars and they know it.

  83. MustWarnOthers says:

    My fiancée and I were in a Starbucks very close by our apartment a few months ago, and it was one of the most satisfying experiences of my life.

    My girlfriend usually gets a Vanilla Latte, and asks for a little bit of their Caramel Sauce (which is unbelievably delicious) drizzled over the top.

    She ordered and the girl politely rang her up, but then the “Barista” a few feet away must have heard the exchange, and felt the need to insert her snotty coffee snob information:

    “Actually, just for future reference, what you ordered is a Caramel Macchiato”. The girl actually had the nerve to say this to us.

    The reason this was an exceptional experience was because just the night before, we happened to watch Good Eats with Alton Brown, who did a whole show on Coffee.

    A Latte, we had learned was espresso/coffee first, and then steamed milk next so it all mixes and makes a weaker, creamier coffee.

    A Macchiato is usually steam milk first, with a slightly larger ratio of espresso, not mixed.

    It was an incredibly satisfying experience to cut down an egotistical “Barista” coffee expert with the knowledge of what the drinks she prepares on a daily basis actually are.

    Her response was “oh….actually yeah I think you’re right..”, after the Cashier had agreed with me.

  84. nodaybuttoday says:

    Maybe Egon should be ghostbusting and not working in anything that involves customer service. I worked at a restaurant for 5 years and I enjoyed talking to people. Yeah, you definitely get some jerky customers, but I always thought it was nice when someone wanted to talk to me like a human being instead of just ordering without so much as a hello.

  85. HannahK says:

    These aren’t even good reasons for a Barista to hate you. I could understand having that much anger if it was directed at people who stay on their cell phones through the entire transaction, or people who are determined to get more for their money (iced coffee with no ice, and a cup of ice on the side? come on, you’re not fooling anyone, just go make coffee at home).

  86. legolex says:

    I’m a rule-follower and if the the menu I read says tall or small or whatever else, that’s what I will call it. If grande bold is such a hot button word for Egon then he should consider switching to a different coffee chain. Or go to a Target Starbucks, they say whatever they want there.

  87. edicius is an acquired taste says:

    I actually just realized I’m a bit of a douche in my own job with one particular bit of lingo.

    Some people here call LCD projectors “overhead projectors” by token of them being installed literally over head in many rooms. But when I wheel it into a room on a cart…they still call it an overhead projector, which it most certainly isn’t. An overhead projector shows transparencies. An LCD projector is a multimedia projector for laptops, video inputs, etc.

    What makes it worse is that the people in my department use the wrong nomenclature as well, just precipitating the confusion when something asks for equipment.

    “I need an overhead projector for my meeting tomorrow.”
    “Okay, not a problem. Just to clarify, you need that for transparencies?”
    “Oh, no, I need to connect my laptop.”

    It was funny the one time someone requested a 35mm slide projector…and then couldn’t figure out where to plug in their laptop.

    So, I will admit to being a lingo douche in my job, but I’d like to think my gripe is a little more specific.

  88. Juliekins says:
  89. TardCore says:

    Don’t like the job or the customers? Get an education and move up. You serve me coffee and danishes, get over yourself.

    • drjayphd says:

      So easy to fire off a comment like that without taking into account that maybe he did get an education and that’s the only job he could get in this economy. It doesn’t say whether or not that’s the case in the article, but you would’ve known that isn’t necessarily true if you read it.

  90. rav3 says:

    while you and the english speaking community just finds tall grande and venti anoying, people who speak spanish have it harder, in real life we would order a chico, mediano o grande (small, medium, large) so when we order a grande coffee at Starbucks we get confused, did we just order a real large or a starbucks medium, did the guy understand what we meant? its madness

  91. teke367 says:

    Normally, I’d side with service industry workers, but seriously, this is pretty lame. The first item is Starbuck’s fault. The rest just sound like the worker doesn’t care for the type of clientele that Starbucks generally serves. If that’s the case, why would you get a job at a place like that. It isn’t exactly news that you’d be serving people like that at a Starbucks.

  92. dabarak says:

    I just go with the more universal way of ordering. For example, a one-quarter liter espresso, hold the attitude, etc.

  93. jake.valentine says:

    “angry Starbucks barista whose name is not Egon, but who prefers to be referred to as such”
    You don’t have to read any further to see the guy has issues. Some lib professor probably taught him that he can express himself more if he called himself Egon.

    Employee:”I call drinks “small, medium or large,” and always feel stupid when I’m corrected”
    I’ve never heard a customer correct an employee, but too often you find a DB employee who feels the need to correct the customer when asked for a large coffee. “You mean a Venti…..”

    • dabarak says:

      I think the “e” at the end of Egon is just a typo, right? Egon… Ego… get it? Yeah, I didn’t think it was that funny either. ; )

  94. Chris J. Stone says:

    Why I hate Starbucks Baristas:

    1. They apparently think very poorly of the customer, and if a customer orders something as labeled on the menu, get very pissed off because you’re not ordering like a “person with common sense.” (Because people with common sense wouldn’t dare fucking go to Starbucks.)

    A little customer service goes a long way. It’s too bad Egon knows nothing about that apparently.

  95. revanche900 says:

    No comment on the article, just an FYI from a former barista:

    The original naming convention for drinks was Short (8oz) Tall (12oz) and Grande (16oz)

    It wasn’t until years later that they added the Venti (20oz) and removed the Short size from the menu.

    This is also why the medium size is called “Large”. It originally was.

  96. mandy_Reeves says:

    Well they just added another way to confuse the crap outta me. For YEARS when I wanted non fat whatever, I would order Skinny. Now if you say skinny, they ask if I meant Lite. There is now skinny, and lite. I don’t understand the difference between the two. someone clue me in please?

  97. lyllydd says:

    When I saw the headline, my first thought was “Because you want a cup of COFFEE rather than some ridiculously overpriced thing with 9 kinds of flavor syrup, foam, steamed milk, and powdered chocolate dumped into it.
    This is why I avoid Fourbucks. I’m a COFFEE drinker. Praise ‘bou.

  98. khooray says:

    Every time I’ve EVER said Small, Medium or Large, it’s ALWAYS repeated back in Starbuck language as “Ok, so that’s a (Tall, Grande, Venti) frappucino, no whip, etc.”

    I felt pretty stupid using the Starbucks jargon.