Better Marriage Blanket Protects Your Partner From Noxious Farts

If you are emitting such noxious gas that you require a carbon filter blanket in order to prevent divorce, you may have some kind of underlying medical condition that you should get checked out. But if you don’t have health insurance, maybe you should try the Better Marriage Blanket instead.


Better Marriage Blanket [Official Site] (Thanks, GitEmSteveDave!)

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  1. TheSpatulaOfLove says:

    This should be useful for my once a week garlic benders!

  2. diasdiem says:

    Still no cure for Dutch Ovens.

    • KyleOrton says:

      I can’t believe women still think farting in bed is accidental.

      IF I WANT TO FART ON YOU (and I do) I WILL!

      • SissyOPinion says:

        I was clued in by the laughter a long time ago. I particularly love it when my husband pretends he’s asleep and lets one rip the second I get comfortable.

  3. [MG]LooseCannon says:

    Anytime the commercial has to state “This is a real problem!”, you know it’s a made up problem.

    • Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

      It’s funny, because you never knew it WAS a problem for you until whatever infomercial TOLD you it was a problem for you, then sudden “Oh my god, I never thought about it ever, but suddenly I realize that’s a real problem for me.”

    • Zegridathes says:

      That’s what I was thinking… this was a product in search of a purpose instead of the other way around.

    • Mxx says:

      yes! made up commercials, that’s the real problem!

    • dolemite says:

      Tell that to my wife. I don’t see the problem, but apparently she thinks there is a problem.

  4. LordofthePing says:

    This product stinks.

  5. PupJet says:

    HAHA…

    I better not tell my partner about this or he’ll end up buying 3 just to put on top of me. /gasattack

  6. dreamfish says:

    … and I thought Consumerist was sophisticated.

    • Laura Northrup says:

      You did?

    • GC says:

      And that was your first mistake!

    • Mike says:

      Two words: Double Down.

      Yeah, how many articles about that did we see? Sophisticated, LOL.

    • GuyGuidoEyesSteveDaveâ„¢ says:

      Consumerist is classy.. Note who submitted it. I mean, I put mayonnaise on my french fries. If it weren’t for bad class, I’d have no class at all.

    • mac-phisto says:

      oh, sorry. we’ll have geoffrey come by with a glass of bordeaux to go with your fart blanket story.

      better?

  7. DoubleBaconVeggieBurger says:

    “Makes a great wedding or anniversary present!!” From whom?

    • Rectilinear Propagation says:

      Yeah, that’d be an awesome conversation:

      “Congratulations on your nuptials! I got you the Better Marriage Blanket.”
      “OMG, why?”
      “Well, I know Bob is gassy at night and…”
      “HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!?!”

    • RandomHookup says:

      You can see the thank you note:

      Dear Bob & Delores: Thanks so much for the lovely (Better Marriage Blanket). We think of you everytime we (pass gas in bed). It is absolutely perfect for us.

  8. webweazel says:

    In our……erm……in our friend’s house, it’s not so much the smell but the leg lift and the comforter being blasted off the bed.

    Should get one and make diapers for the dogs. One likes to stand in front of floor fans, then leave the room and giggle, while we’re gagging on the floor and our nose hairs are crisping.

    • Clyde Barrow says:

      You should have been on my jet coming home from Europe last Sunday. Some baby dropped a bomb in his diapers and man it was bad. And I mean BAD!

  9. speedwell (propagandist and secular snarkist) says:

    Sounds like a perfect wrap for your latest murder victim.

    • EtherealFlame says:

      Maybe they should have named it the BetterDivorceBlanket then. Hmmm speaking of vanishing dead beat ex’s with large life insurance policies….*grins mischievously*

  10. Rachacha says:

    Billie Mayes here coming to you from the garage of a funeral home in Riverdale Maryland to tell you about the new Gas Filtering Snuggie. Do you or your partner suffer from excessive intestinal gas, or do you have a few extra decaying bodies that won’t fit in the cooler? Then the Gas Filtering Snuggie with its activated charcoal filter interior is for you. Simply wrap yourself up, and the odors disappear like Magic!

  11. TPA says:

    I bet it won’t work when “playing tent” though!

  12. 3rdUserName says:

    Apollo Creed /ONLY IN AMERICA/ Apollo Creed

  13. Digitizer says:

    An easier and probably cheaper alternative would be to change your diet….

  14. RvLeshrac says:

    I was going to send people a link to their page, but it employs a bunch of “Don’t leave this page!” popups. That smells substantially worse than any flatulence. :(

  15. Mxx says:

    hey! i submitted this to tips@ last night and didn’t get credit for it :(

    • GuyGuidoEyesSteveDaveâ„¢ says:

      I submitted it as well:
      Steve Davidson
      to The Consumerist
      date Thu, Apr 29, 2010 at 10:31 PM
      subject Better than the Snuggie?

      But don;t let this discourage you. Keep sending them the tips!

  16. madtube says:

    I wonder what kind of warranty this product has. My wife could burn this thing out in 1 week of Chinese food, broccoli, brussel sprouts, and fajitas.

    You know a person has bad gas when my dogs run out from under the covers when she toots.

    • Rachacha says:

      Hopefully Mrs. Madtube does not read this, or you will be sleeping on the couch tonight, although, that may not be a bad thing!

  17. ssnseawolf says:

    “And it makes for a great anniversary gift, too!”

    I dare you.

  18. calchip says:

    Did anyone notice the price? $120 for a fart blanket?!

    This reminds me of a product serving the same, uh, market, called Odor-Outer. It was basically some contraption that you installed between your toilet tank and toilet bowl that had an exhaust blower. The idea was that you’d turn on the blower before you take a dump, and it would suck air out of the bowl, through the little holes under the rim where the water pours out.

    I knew the guy who invented it — his office was next to ours, and he was convinced that he’d have hundreds of orders from placing one ad in a magazine. (This before the Internet.) The people in my office were always joking about what sort of issues he must have had to warrant inventing such a device.

    Sadly, the product no longer is available, but here’s a trademark reference to it
    http://www.trademarkia.com/odorouter-73741608.html

  19. Nighthawke says:

    A friend has that problem, but his War Department has an excellent equalizer. Each time he toots, she gets out a fly swatter and starts beating the tar out of him with it. Great incentive to use the can if you gotta do it.

  20. Nighthawke says:

    A friend has that problem, but his War Department has an excellent equalizer. Each time he toots, she gets out a fly swatter and starts beating the tar out of him with it. Great incentive to use the can if you gotta do it.

  21. ajlei says:

    Not that I’m in the market, but I was thinking $40 would be an almost reasonable price, until I watched the ad and saw that it was “3 easy payments of”.. so.. $120 for a anti-chemical warfare blanket. Maybe they should be selling to the .mil.

  22. whosyer12 says:

    Does it cover up crotch rot as well?

  23. Eyeout says:

    “Contains the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons.”

    That’s how you know it’s good.

    • GuyGuidoEyesSteveDaveâ„¢ says:

      Or if it uses ancient secrets from the Far East and/or technology used/developed by NASA.

  24. Wang_Chung_Tonight says:

    A CHALLENGER APPEARS!!!!

  25. stevgex says:

    Is there a Snuggie version?

  26. ben_marko says:

    My wife watched this 5 times when I showed it to her, laughing hysterically. Why (ahem), I do NOT know. It’s not like I have a problem…

  27. dg says:

    I don’t know how this ranks against the Shake Weight commercial – but as a favorite commercial, this is right up there with the Flobee, and that stuff you sprayed on your bald spot to hide it…

  28. Consumerista says:

    Awww, come on! Playing “Auschwitz” with the wife was one of the better parts of my now-defunct marriage! Darn.

  29. pot_roast says:

    Ladies: It’s just a fart. It’s not cyanide. Oh, and you let them rip too. We all know that. :)