Giant Banker To Devour Innocent Consumers Tomorrow

Consumers Union, the benevolent entity that publishes Consumer Reports and parent company of our own little operation, would like to warn all of you that a giant banker will be devouring innocent consumers on “The Hill” Wednesday.

No consumer is safe. Bankzilla will feast upon your flesh. Why would such a normally warm and fuzzy organization unleash this inflatable scourge upon the innocent?

‘It’s time for banks to stop feeding on consumers with outrageous fees and hidden costs,” they told us.

If you live in D.C. keep an eye out for this man-eating menace tomorrow. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.