Famed Fake Newspaper Columnist Sides With Receipt Checkers

As any dedicated Consumerist follower knows, our readers generally fall down pretty squarely on the side of not having to show your receipt when you exit a store. That being said, we should always welcome the dissenting view, especially from a respected journalist.

Thus, we’d like to draw attention to a recent column written by longtime Onion columnist, Jim Anchower, who recently detailed his recent experiences as a receipt checker… and just what a pain in the butt it is when people refuse to show their receipts.

Quoth Mr. Anchower:

I’ve been working plenty of hours at the warehouse discount place. I even got a little overtime. We were short-staffed because a bunch of people were out sick back in November, so they made me stand up front and look at people’s receipts.

I actually wound up getting into it with some guy because he told me I didn’t need to check his receipt, and I said bullshit I didn’t and that he should get his ass back here, otherwise I would have to take him down. He went for it, so I went for it, and a manager came and had to break us up. I didn’t punch the guy or anything, but I wasn’t going to let him disrespect me like that, because I was right and he was being a dick.

After that, they decided they didn’t want me working with people, so they moved me to the bakery.

Now, before it’s pointed out by a few dozen commenters, yes, we know Mr. Anchower isn’t real (or at least we’ve been lead to believe he isn’t real). But does that make his point of view any less valid?

Okay, well yes… it probably does.

Please join us next week, when Myron Reducto explains the pros and cons of the grocery shrink ray.

I Still Ain’t Sure About This Socialism Medicine [The Onion]