Alicia Guastaferro, 18 year-old teen beauty queen, is pretty much crass consumerism made flesh, and the figurative lovechild of Disney and Forever 21. To support her beauty pageant lifestyle, her parents lavish her with $100,000 in clothes every year, do her homework for her, and keep up a Christmas tree year-round and give her a new present every day. But what happens when she goes on Wife Swap, and her new mom is a feminist Quaker preacher? Whoa! Explosions! Tears! Now Alicia is suing ABC for $100 million, contending they framed scenes to “maximize her public embarrassment.” Um, duh, that’s what reality TV is. Or did your parents also watch your television for you as well?