ESPN To Bore Soccer Viewers In 3-D

Advancing ever closer to “The Ocho” prophesied by the movie Dodgeball, ESPN announced yet another new network, although this one will do more than televise college lacrosse and late-night strongman competitions.

ESPN 3D announced the 3-D network will launch June 11 with the World Cup, and coverage will expand from there:

Other events to be produced in 3-D include the 2011 BCS National Championship Game, college basketball and football contests, up to 25 World Cup matches and the Summer X Games. Additional events will be announced at a later date.

You’ll need a special 3-D-equipped TV and those futuristic Avatar glasses to catch the 3-D effect. Meaning: you’ll need friends who have those things to mooch off of.

Lastly, a note to jumpy soccer fans who are going to bash me for mocking their sport. I’m as big a soccer fan as anyone, having once driven 1,500 miles in a round trip to see a World Cup qualifier in Utah. But to believe the sport isn’t boring is just to delude yourself. The game is all about the suspense and anticipation that something will happen, at some point, even though it never does. It’s an acquired taste.

ESPN 3D to show soccer, football, more [ESPN]