Comcast Celebrates Conquest Of NBC With Gifts Of Sh*tty DVDs

Christmas has come early to the employees of Comcast! A reader who is also a Comcastployee tells Consumerist that received a package at home yesterday which contained a letter from current and former CEOs Ralph and Brian Roberts, and some thoughtful gifts. To honor the looming Comcast/NBC Universal mergerpocalypse, the Robertses presented Comcast employees with two of the hottest DVDs in the Universal catalog: fullscreen copies of “Kindergarten Cop” and “The Bourne Ultimatum.” Aww, you shouldn’t have!

Our source writes:

I currently work for Comcast and today I received a FedEx package from Comcast. It contained a letter and two DVD’s. This is supposed to be some welcome to the family like present from the Comcast/NBC merger. The funny part is the two videos they included. From what I am hearing from my other co-workers is they got the same movies! HaHa. The two movies were: The Bourne Ultimatum (Full Screen) and Kindergarten Cop (Full Screen). Notice that these aren’t Blue Ray or even Wide Screen. And of course, the obvious…Kindergarten Cop?!?!? Are they trying to clear out some warehouses?

It’s not that the movies are bad. I was very fond of “Kindergarten Cop” back when it first came out, and I was in elementary school. But the choice of movies is odd. Perhaps a “30 Rock” box set would have been more appropriate.

Here’s the text of the letter.

Dear Comcaster,

When Comcast first brought cable to Tupelo, Mississippi in 1963, we had an innovative idea to bring full network television to this rural community for the first time. This simple idea became the foundation for the innovative company we have become.

That same year a few thousand miles away, Gregory Peck won best actor in Universal Studios’ “To Kill a Mockingbird,” and the Beatles made their U.S. television debut on NBC News’ Huntley Brinkley Report. As Comcast grew and added more subscribers, we were able to share these historic events with more consumers than was ever thought possible in new and exciting ways. Today, we’re able to deliver over 17,000 On Demand choices a month, the faster Internet, and a phone service that puts your caller ID on the TV. Our customers have grown to expect more, too. They’re looking for more content, more choice, and to view that content when and where they want–whether on the TV, online, or even on the go.

For this reason and so many more, we’re looking forward to welcoming the talented employees at NBC Universal into our Comcast family through a new joint venture with General Electric. Together, I know that we will continue to pioneer new technologies, re-imagine entire industries, and transform our customers’ experiences. Just as importantly, we will continue to be a financially strong company, well-positioned to compete and invest in our core businesses for future growth and innovation.

To celebrate, we want to share with you these DVDs produced by Universal Studios. We hope you will enjoy them over the holidays.

This is an exciting time for all of us. While we await final approval on our plans for this joint venture, let’s continue to dream big, focus on our customers, and take some time to imagine the possibilities generated by this potential new venture.

Happy holidays and thanks for all you do to make Comcast a great company.

(signed)

Brian L. Roberts
Ralph J. Roberts

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Comments

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  1. SnoopyFish says:

    Its not a TUMOR!!!

  2. SnoopyFish says:

    Its not a TUMOR!!!

  3. thesadtomato says:

    It was The Bourne Ultimatum, not The Bourne Supremacy. So really, it was sh*tty at all, because Ultimate beats Supreme in the world of movie-adjectives, right?

  4. AllanG54 says:

    Well, there’s two items that go in the “re-gifting” bin.

  5. Kamidari says:

    Maybe I’m just cranky this morning (coffee hasn’t fully kicked in yet), but with ~10% of the country out of work, complaining that the unexpected present from your employer wasn’t as awesome as you’d like seems kind of lame.

    • tbax929 says:

      I see your point, but I don’t think the OP is complaining, so much as he is bemused by the gift.

      • jesusofcool says:

        yeah, it’s an interesting comment and hopefully he is just questioning and not complaining.

        Also, sending a 30 Rock box set to every employee probably would have cost a crapload more money. Not sure if it’s a realistic thought on the part of the OP.

    • ARP says:

      Yes, but I think they would have rather not received anything at all (or perhaps a single newer release), than a few odd old movies.

    • ClutchDude says:

      Righto! I’d rather them have sent an email and used the that it took to buy, package and ship these items and instead use it to, I dunno, pay for improving services such as cable infrastructure, etc.

      Sure a person or two might not have a holiday job of packing stupid gift boxes, but who else here would like to see their internet 1 kbps faster?

  6. nodaybuttoday says:

    Well, it’s better than nothing which is about what every other person I know is getting from their employer this year for the holidays.

  7. Batmanuel says:

    I have no clue why the even make full screen DVDs.

    • Segador says:

      Maybe for the 50% of American homes that don’t have HDTV.

      • sqlrob says:

        Even before we had the HDTV, we far, far preferred widescreen, box and all, over full screen where you lose stuff.

        • YouDidWhatNow? says:

          Yeah…unless you have like a 13″ TV, I can’t imagine ever preferring cutting the sides off the movie entirely to having the letterbox.

          “Let’s see, my options are to either miss 33% of the movie entirely, or have black bars at the top and bottom of the screen…hmmm….”

    • jaya9581 says:

      Some people REALLY don’t like widescreen movies.

    • tbax929 says:

      I hate widescreen movies. And don’t even get me started on letterbox. It’s nice to have the choice.

    • jayphat says:

      Thats more or less what I was thinking. Choice of movies is so so. Full screen? Comon now.

    • Rectilinear Propagation says:

      Because most people have full screen TVs.

  8. jaya9581 says:

    Interesting. My husband works for Comcast and we haven’t seen any “gifts” yet. I’ll have to keep my eye out.

    Although I’m pretty sure I will find better movies on all my free movie channels and on-demand than they will send us.

  9. gpreston says:

    Some members received ‘Bruce Almighty’ instead of ‘Kindergarten Cop’. Also, the Comcaster’s email plainly states ‘The Bourne Ultimatum’, not ‘The Bourne Supremacy’. Come’on edit guys, sharper eyes next time!

  10. temporaryscars says:

    Aw, I love those Bourne movies. :(

  11. ctyankee says:

    “It’s not that the movies are bad”. Well, okay, Kindergarten Cop was bad.

  12. rekoil says:

    Hope he enjoyed his holiday bonus!

  13. ngoandy says:

    I’d interoffice mail mine back to the CEO.

  14. Laines says:

    My Mister works in the PPV department of a carrier and pretty much all the gifts from the companies are of the “clearing out the warehouse” variety. The only good stuff come from the porn companies. They usually send Tiffany sparkly bits or Harry & David gift boxes. I suppose that’s telling of who gets the good profits.

    • Rectilinear Propagation says:

      Well, that and even a porn company would probably be afraid to send adult gifts to their employees.

      • Laines says:

        Oh no, I would never expect them to send their latest release but I just find it funny that they send higher caliber / more useful gifts then most of the other entertainment companies.

    • friday3 says:

      Actually the economy and free internet has taken huge profits out of the adult industry. Porn companies are dying faster than most other bbusinesses

  15. NightSteel says:

    At least it isn’t a membership to the Jelly of the Month club?

  16. Tex1200 says:

    I work for Comcast. I got The Bourne Ultimatum and Evan Almighty. meh…..

  17. Blueskylaw says:

    “we will continue to pioneer new technologies, re-imagine entire industries, and transform our customers’ experiences”

    All of these are “nebulous” statements , like a politician saying I helped save your drinking water.
    How about saying we have high prices and are looking for ways to lower them or maybe we charge high prices and have crappy service because we are big and we can.
    You know, statements closer to the truth.

  18. Thanatos says:

    Perhaps this is Comcast’s way of pushing employees to upgrade their cable subscription? Lol.

  19. Blueskylaw says:

    “we will continue to pioneer new technologies, re-imagine entire industries, and transform our customers’ experiences”

    All of these are “nebulous” statements , like a politician saying I helped save your drinking water.
    How about saying we have high prices and are looking for ways to lower them or maybe we charge high prices and have crappy service because we are big and we can.
    You know, statements closer to the truth.

  20. pittstonjoma says:

    Ugh. Full-screen. I suppose it’s better than nothing, though. If I got something like this, I would probably go to a local store called Wayne’s World and trade these in for something, better though. Even if I only got 5 bucks, I could use it towards an X-box 360 game. Re-gifting isn’t a bad idea either, though.

  21. blueduckconsumerist says:

    It’s likely the movies they receive are a randomly selected pair. Grab-bag from clearance.

    Meh – crappy gift, but a gift nonetheless.

  22. nick_r says:

    That’s horrible. When Universal got bought out by NBC, we got a whole bunch of cool DVDs. (Also: laid off.)

  23. MrHacks says:

    Somethings are more than just satire.
    http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x90psr_mediaopoly_news

  24. NarcolepticGirl says:

    sounds fine to me. i am a government employee and receive nothing. not even a holiday party.

  25. MrHacks says:

    Keep in mind it was Comcast who let G4 swallow up TechTV and turned both networks into crap TV!
    It is Comcast that has censored the Internet, fought against Network Neutrality, and removed access to the Usenet and Torrents. (The less people Internet, the more people watch TV, at least in Comcast’s short sighted opinion.)
    It is Comcast that is still in a deadlocked situation between DirecTV over the Verses Network.
    Also, what is going to happen to networks like MSNBC, where Keith Olbermann and Rachael Maddow are critical of Republican policies, especially ones that Comcast supports and has donated the most money to? Is MSNBC going to become Fox News Channel 2?

    The cure may be worse that the disease itself. And the disease is that NBCUniversal can’t program their networks with programming people want to watch. What the hell is Law and Order Criminal Intent and ECW Wrestling doing on the SciFi Channel? Why is Animidnight now on Sleuth? Why does USA have literally 12 marathonds of House, NCIS, and Law and Order Special Victums Unit EVERYDAY? Why is House, a show that is produced by NBC, on FOX giving NBC’s ratings to FOX? Why is does the today show extend FOUR HOURS everyday and tourcher america with Kathy Lee Gifford for one of those hours? Is there no room for talkshows to rival the Oprahs, Dr. Phils, and Judge Judys of the world? What about the Weather Channel, a network who thanks to miscalculations in a program digital TV rating system is fighting for viewers unaware that the entire Television industry STILL uses viewer Sampling Data from New York City only from 1954? Viewers in Chicago and LA have different viewing habits that the guy in New York. Just as the US government conducts a Census every 10 years, why don’t major TV networks?

    I forsee in the next decade, we will see the fall of TV networks. They may try to buy some popular Dot-com website that they think people will go to, but eventually unless your name happens to be Google, Twitter, Facebook, Wired, The Consumerist, or Fark, your odds of being a large TV corporation still being here 10 years from now because you own a larger Internet corporation are very slim.

    I look forward to seeing Google start their own Network or starting their own Satelite broadcasting service. I look forward to them saving the Motorolas of the world from being screwed over by oil industry people (who pretty much own a large stake in most media companies to begin with) by dismantling these institutions that don’t run on the ideals of capitalism but on greed and self-preservation from innovative technology.

    Now that I have ranted, I think it is time for TV to die anyway. It is cold and unfelling and desensitizes people more than any pornographic website ever could.

  26. soj4life says:

    Comcastic!

  27. techphets says:

    Sometimes it’s better to just not give a gift in the first place. If I remember correctly Comcast was voted one of the best places to work. If you don’t like the gift list it on eBay and go about your business as if nothing bad actually happened.

  28. Chinchillazilla says:

    “I currently work for Comcast”

    Well, there’s your problem.

    (I kid, I kid…)