Videodrome #3: Paper Puppet Reenactments Of Removed YouTubes

Faster! Leaner! Meaner! Ben Popken rounds up Consumerist.com’s top stories of the week, from psychotic stewardesses to deadly foreclosures. This week we introduce a new feature: printing out the internet and turning it into a puppet show.

Stories covered in this episode:

IRS Tells Single Mom She’s Too Poor, Must Be Lying
Asking For Orange Juice On American Airlines May Violate Federal Law
Doctor Flying Southwest Tries To Go To Bathroom, Ends Up In Jail
No, Wells Fargo, You Can’t Leave Animals To Die
Man Pays Best Buy For Washer/Dryer, It Doesn’t Appear, Takes Laundry To Store, Shames Store Into Delivering

TRANSCRIPT:

INTRO

Here are Consumerist.com’s top stories for the Week of December 13th, 2009. I’m Ben Popken.

FRASIER DIDN’T KEEP RECEIPTS EITHER

The IRS said a Seattle mother earning under $19,000 a year living with her parents couldn’t possibly afford to take care of her kids and audited her, hard. After she spent $10,000 on a tax attorney, the IRS determined because she couldn’t come up with enough receipts, she can’t claim her own childern as dependants. Ok, IRS todo list. Number 1, Rich tax cheats hiding funds in complex corporate entites. All done! Moving on to number twoooo, 2, single mothers.

AA OJ NO-NO

An American Airlines stewardess screamed at a first class passenger and had the captain give him a written warning for “Threatening, intimidating, or interfering with a crewmember.” His crime? Asking for a glass of orange juice.

SW PP UH-OH

And if you think that’s bad, a 65-year-old Southwest Airlines passenger on diuretcs was arrested for repeatedly trying to go the bathroom. The stewardess yelled at him and pushed him back into his seat several times. Turns out the pilot was in the lavatory and no one is supposed to get up while he’s tinkling, though no one told the passenger this at the time. He spent the night in jail and paid a $2,500 fine. Jeez, when that sign says “OCCUPADO” they’re not fucking around.

ANIMAL FARM FOR SALE, CHEEP!

After bad press got out that Wells Fargo had foreclosed on a farm and left the horses and pigs to die, the bank made arrangements for local volunteers to look after the animals. Remember folks, morality is directly proportional to the number of people watching you.

DIRTY LAUNDRY, DIRTY LOOKS

A man took his dirty laundry in to Best Buy and asked which of their washer/dryers he was supposed to use while he waited for his $1,600 washer/dryer to arrive. He had unhooked his washer/dryer at home and Best Buy had blown TWO delivery dates.
The YouTube of the incident was removed, so we must resort to a re-enactment, using paper:

MANAGER: SIR! Please leave immediately.

MAN: I just want my washer and dryer.

MANAGER: Do you want me to call the cops? Lisa, call the cops.

MAN: I guess Best Buy doesn’t care about its customers.

::monster worm attack

And that’swhat happened. You should have seen it on video. It was awesome.

And that’s our show. For Consumerist.com, I’m Ben Popken, taking it seriously.

::END TRANSCRIPT

PREVIOUSLY: Consumerist Videodrome #2: The “New Moon” Felons

Comments

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  1. GuyGuidoEyesSteveDaveâ„¢ says:

    I’ve stopped shopping at my local best Buy since they hired the Kraken for the appliance and TV department. The only thing worse is the Sahi Ha’lud they hired to check receipts. It’s bad enough walking without rhythm to not attract it’s attention, but when it eats you, that almost ruins my day.

    Also Ben, your impression of an IRS agent? Spot on!

    • pecan 3.14159265 says:

      Can you pole vault over the dunes? I mean, unless there’s a Shai’Hulud that breaks out from the lineoleum floor.

  2. MostlyHarmless says:

    The opening sequence gave me a stroke, but other than that, it was hilarious.

    • GuyGuidoEyesSteveDaveâ„¢ says:

      The opening sequence caused a clot to form in your bloodstream and deprive part of you body from blood when it got lodged? It just gave me a seizure and/or sneeze.

      • MostlyHarmless says:

        Its a freaking monday, alright. Get off my back.

        • GuyGuidoEyesSteveDaveâ„¢ says:

          Wow, someone’s keyboard is full of venom. Or poison. I forget which. ;P

          • Kimaroo - 100% Pure Natural Kitteh says:

            Teehee. I was spending quite a while last night trying to catch up on the twitter and reading yall going back and forth about that, then Mr. Aroo took my iPod so I never found out what was decided.

  3. parkj238 says:

    The opening sequence lasts a bit too long and could enduce seizures, but loved everything else lol

  4. Willow01 says:

    Damn that monster worm…..always ruining good videos.

  5. Oranges w/ Cheese says:

    Wow Ben! Amazing. Love the video reenactment.

  6. jrizos says:

    Very cool summary, and Ben has great comedic presence. Just work on the audio, maybe don’t shoot it in an airplane lavatory?

  7. chiieddy says:

    Ben, you gotta do something about the lighting where you film. Every time you raise your arms and talk like a New Yorker, the lighting in the video dims. :-)

  8. ElizabethD says:

    TL;DW But Ben, I love your fluffier hair. ;-)

  9. Keep talking...I'm listening says:

    I was watching the video at work and a coworker came up behind me and noted that Ben has cute eyebrows.

    There you go folks.

    LOL

  10. Sonicslasher says:

    Hahaha, the video enactment was gold!

  11. killest says:

    Good times, Thanks Ben, for some laughs…