Recall Roundup: Slim Faster Edition

Here’s a fresh batch of recalls for you! Manufacturers have seemingly forgotten that drawstrings on children’s clothing are bad, and bacterial contamination in Slim-Fast cans could give you far more weight loss than you ever intended.

Cans of ready-to-drink Slim-Fast (all flavors) – bacterial contamination
“Bobby Chupete” pacifiers – choking hazard
Children’s hooded sweatshirts from Century 21 Promotions, Fashion Options, NTD Apparel, Sunsations, and Allura Imports – strangulation hazard
Perfect Flame SLG Gas Grills (sold at Lowe’s) – Fire and Burn Hazard
EXO-Tech Safety Harness – fall hazard
Cost Plus World Market stainless steel cookware – handles can fall off; burn hazard
Alpine Ski Bindings – bindings may release unexpectedly
Teamwork Trading pendants – high levels of lead
Electrolux ICON and Kenmore Pro 30 Gas Ranges – carbon monoxide poisoning
Haier America blenders – laceration hazard

Comments

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  1. Rectilinear Propagation says:

    In before the comments saying that weight loss from bacterial contamination is still better than being a “fattie”.

    EXO-Tech Safety Harness – fall hazard
    That one needs a “you’re doing it wrong” tag.

    • RecordStoreToughGuy_RidesTheWarpOfSpaceIntoTheWombOfNight says:

      I have a friend with UC that may or may not disagree with that statement.

  2. Hooray4Zoidberg says:

    “Haier America blenders – laceration hazard”

    For some reason I read that as lactation hazard and was really confused for a second.

    • RecordStoreToughGuy_RidesTheWarpOfSpaceIntoTheWombOfNight says:

      I think you really only have to worry about lactation hazards in extremely low quality strip joints.

  3. insideedge says:

    Wow think of the new sales pitch……. “No more sticking your finger down your throat with the new auto-purge Slim Fast”

  4. eirrom says:

    I drink the Slim Fast shakes every morning (had 2 this morning cuz I’m a fat ass). WOW! Nice to know what was causing my diarrhea each day! I thought it was the Taco Bell I was having for dinner.

  5. lucky929 says:

    I drink the Target brand “ultra weight loss shake” because I need something in the morning but I’m not hungry, per se. Glad I made that switch >

    • Oranges w/ Cheese says:

      Yeah I need to get my food in gear and eat more regularly :-/ I don’t think I’ve eaten breakfast in 7 years

      • lucky929 says:

        I just don’t really want food when I first get up, but my body does.

        I hope the target ones- cheaper and inexplicably a few less calories- aren’t made in the same place or anything.

      • JulesNoctambule says:

        My version of breakfast usually occurs around lunch, and has done since I was a kid. If it’s anything stronger than liquid in the morning, it won’t stay down for long. I’ve always wondered why that is!

    • Sian says:

      Yeah,weightloss or not, it’s a more balanced, convenient breakfast (For $1) than I can usually manage otherwise.

  6. sniplover says:

    I appreciate that the gas grill has a fire and burn hazard. Whoda thunk it?

  7. mandy_Reeves says:

    weight watchers is behind this I tells ya! ….nah…I went on Weight Watchers because Slim Fast gave me the green apple trots many moons before the recall.

  8. d says:

    All new formula! Now with extra hyper-biotic bacteria ™ to flush out your colon! No more binge and purge with a nasty aftertaste. Just eat a sensible meal, drink a can of newly formulated ShitFast and WHAMO! 15 minutes later, you’ll be cleaned out and won’t want to eat for the next 8 hours.

    Caution: Only for use once per day. Stay hydrated with Regular Slim Fast zero biotica.

  9. H3ion says:

    I’m really concerned about the ski bindings. If they release on a mogul, I’m in the deep stuff and not snow.

  10. Nighthawke says:

    I always assumed drinking Slim-Fast out of the can and then getting the runs was the norm.

  11. foodfeed says:

    the slim fast thing is scary. my girl’s sister has been in and out of the hosipital since june with various infections and she’s a regular consumer of those beverages.