Oh MY GOD - worst soda ever. I took one sip and was seriously overcome with the heebie jeebies... nasty stuff...

I can only imagine the flavor this crap has...

So. It's got that going for it.

Most disgusting thing I have ever seen!

http://www.hulu.com/watch/111078/the-tonight-show-with-conan-obrien-andyll-try-it-tofurkey-and-gravy-soda

Oh they made LaBamba drink it... I'm not shocked at the outcome.

http://unturkey.org/

Oh it makes me gag alright

@pecan 3.14159265: Yeah, I loved liver when I was a kid. Why, I do not know. Kids shouldn't like stuff like that. One day, I smelled it cooking, and the bile started rising. It was like a switch. One day I liked it, and the next, couldn't even smell it without gagging. (Strangely enough, I still LOVE calf's liverwurst, but can't get it where I live.)

Happened the same with cornbread. Loved it one day, couldn't stand it the next. I can't eat cornbread, cornbread stuffing, or cornmeal fried catfish. Weird.

@jacques: I think tofu turkey with the skin from a *real* turkey would be good. It would help people begin to make the transition from meat to vegetarian. Even better, a chicken wing or leg that's assembled from a real chicken BONE plus tofu meat plus real chicken skin.

This would be like 1% lowfat milk; it's not skim milk but it's partway there and nearly as good as whole.

I used to have a serious aversion to Tofurkey just like subtlefrog but ohhh, those bastards at our local vegan cafe make a smoked tofurkey bagel sandwich that seduced me completely.

.. ok I won't, but still.

Also: best carbonated bev ever - a few ounces of Knudsen Morning Blend or Mega Antioxidant juice, mixed with lots more Raspberry Lime carbonated water, top with few slices of fresh lime. Not as sugary as regular soft drinks, twice as tasty. Plus, vodka-ready!

(I agree.)

Sorry. Really tired, spent the day with high schoolers, felt the need to get dramatic.

But I gotta say I love the name Tofurkey.

That said, I'm with everyone who gagged a little when they imagined the taste.

@calquist: They run the same photo for a certain number of batches, but I don't think they'll reuse a photo they used 4 years ago or anything.

It's pretty foul.

@s73v3r: It's crazy that they haven't started to release all of Good Eats episodes on DVD (instead of doing their 'best of' DVDs). I would totally buy them! Of course, the problem with releasing all of them on DVD is that Alton Brown just reworked a lot of the recipes from the first few years, so the episodes themselves aren't as relevant if the recipes have been changed.

Alton Brown is one of my heroes, along with Mal Reynolds.

Also, just to spread the word, the Food Network is streaming episodes of Good Eats online from their site! Its not all of them, but since I don't have cable, some Alton is better than no Alton.

Jones...they're always hilarious.

But my favorite "what the hell?" product would have to be the jelly bellys with the "diaper" flavored bean...at least that's what I remember when I was looking at the package.

@squinko:
Mmmyum.
Pie + Soda = win.
I gotta find me some Pumpkin Pie soda, and hoard that to last throughout the year.

If sodas that make you sick are your thing, Epcot has some free sodas from other countries you can try if you ever go there. Go into the igloo entrance and you can't miss them. Some are pretty nasty. But nowhere near as bad as those holiday Jones sodas.

@Smiley Massacre:
The brussels sprous taste like what i think old bowling shoes taste like.
Turkey and Gray- definitely spot on- which was weird.
Cranberry sauce was the most civil of the flavors.
And I absolutely adore the Candy Corn flavor.
Mm, vanilla corn syrup!

As I recall the turkey and the cranberry ones weren't too bad. The stuffing one was ugh. The pumpkin pie was like drinking potpourri. And the brussel sprout one was most likely to make you vomit (as demonstrated by one of my brothers).

Precious holiday memories.

@Ayarkay: Indeed, upon which you bet the nieces and nephews to take shots of the crap for $5.

@tonberry:
You folks have obviously never had a Chabela.
Best cure for hangovers.
EVER.

@webweazel: I watch a lot of Andrew Zimmern and he always, always ends up cajoled into eating something with blood as an ingredient, and he's so gung ho about it. I can't do it.

Organ meats I'm not opposed to. I actually ate a lot of liver during my childhood and I didn't mind it. I also ate a lot of tripe during family dim sum get togethers, and I still like it. No shame!

@Oranges w/ Cheese has 2 cats! ahahaha.: I'm pretty adventurous when it comes to food, except when I sincerely think eating something will be detrimental to health (see blood). I oppose haggis simply because it just seems so unappetizing. It's not the ingredients, it's the combination of which just does not appeal in any way.

@Trai_Dep: I watched the Alton Brown 10th Anniversary Good Eats Special, and he played his favorite clip from Good Eats, which was the demonstration (in the woods, with bad Braveheart-mullets and kilts) of making haggis - it was a purely non-technical thing done for laughs - but the accents were so ridiculously terrible that I always associate haggis with that clip and I still can't find it appetizing.

@zandar: My grandma would eat durian, and it was apparently one of her favorites. I just remember walking into the store and smelling the faint odor of uncracked durian. And when there was one at home, you couldn't escape it once it had been cut open. The smell just followed you.

@xsmasherx: The fella loves those Italian sausages as well. Me, I can't get past that sausage-spice-smell. I have to have a window open when he cooks his.

@pecan 3.14159265:
SECONDED!
Never considered the blood thing. I'll have to add it to my list. On my list, I have organ meats and insects. No brains, eyeballs or crickets for me. Yeah, yeah, I know, flour and grains have bug parts. I can deal with that. At least they're not deep fried and smothered in chocolate.
"Oh, but the legs are soooo crunchy!"
*Shudder*

@formatc: Ya, my sister is a veg and she doesn't touch sodas or certain yogurts that contain glycerin. Even cakes with fruit on top might have it, she always has to look twice.

@Trai_Dep: I just threw up all over my keyboard.

...
..
.

Hey. You doing anything this Thanksgiving? I'll make it "interesting" for you...

@Mecharine: I dunno if they would, but there's been enough of a demand for them that they keep bringing it back every year. They sell out of it in most years.

Which brings me to... sugar free? they have to point out the gravy flavored soda is sugar free? Gag me with a spoon.

As in:

Homer: I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me no matter how dumb my suggestions are!

Then starts eating "Nuts and Gum, Together At Last!"

And just so you know, misspellings should be e-mailed to the Consumerist team. It gets it changed faster when you're right, and makes you look less silly when you're wrong.

This doesn't even sound like a good idea. I like the ideas of the Jones Holiday sodas, but really only the ones based off sweets. The ones based off food feel like a step in the wrong direction toward Willy Wonka.

Definitely something people would buy as a joke to bring along to Thanksgiving dinner.

@TheWillow: Yeah, I think Smiley meant the Thanksgiving flavors. Green Apple and Bubblegum aren't really odd flavors - Stewart's Beverages has similar flavors like Key Lime and Peach.

We use (non-bone-char) sugar, we drink pop - some drink it just as much as non-vegans. Don't confuse "vegan" with "30-day-cleansers," "sugar-busters," or "diet minimalists."

The novelty drinks are god-awful.

Terrible.

I did a tasting of a 'dinner' once, and they were all just horrific.

I'm a vegetarian, and I'll eat tofurkey. But damn if I'm going near this thing. It's all about the novelty. Apparently it's working for Jones, as they keep doing it every year.

Tofurky is alright, but I'm waiting for the Turducken-flavored Jones Soda.

Tofurky is horrible. I have veg-head friends who will not eat it. Last Thanksgiving these friends bought one of those little tofurkey roasts and we all tried some.

Horrible. It's not even pseudo meat. It's kind of what is probably served in hell as a reward for taking your beating well that day. Except it's not that good. It's how I imagine a pasty cooked version of styrofoam to taste.

That said, I plan on buying those same friends this, just because it'll be cute as an xmas gift.

@searonson: One of the novelty aspects of Jones Soda is their constantly changing label. All of the photos and art on the sodas are submitted by people all over the country, and you can vote for your favorites on the Jones Soda website. The favorites then end up on Jones Soda bottles.

Jeffrey Steingarten famously had a list of "foods I wouldn't touch even if I were starving on a desert island until absolutely everything else runs out."

This is going on my list own list of "foods I wouldn't touch," along with kimchi (which is on Steingarten's list too), durian, haggis (should be self-explanatory), insects, turtle, and anything with blood as an ingredient.

I actually like Tofurky and I would like to know where in Southern California I can locate this fine soda. Seriously.