Keep Track Of Which Diploma Mills Will Work Out Best For Your Pet
In this job market, anything you can do to give your cat or dog an edge is worth pursuing. That's why you shouldn't enroll your pet in just any diploma mill—you want one that's a proven scam. Boingboing points out that there's a Wikipedia page to keep track of animals with fraudulent diplomas to make it easier to comparison shop for that next fake certificate.
"List of animals with fraudulent diplomas" [Wikipedia via Boingboing] (Thanks to Trai_Dep!)
(Photo: ourdogholly)
Post a comment
Comments:
It seems as though there's a higher amount of cats going on to secondary education compared to dogs. What is Congress doing about the disproportionate levels of education between felines and canines? When will the discrimination end?
I let out a very audible gasp when I saw the cat photo. That is just the cutest cat photo you guys have ever, ever posted. Holy crap.
I have a problem with the Wikipedia page - there are no photos. Anyone want to spend the afternoon helping me Google these cats to find photos so I can edit the Wikipedia page and add photos?
In several cases, pet animals (most often cats[citation needed]) have successfully been "enrolled" in suspected diploma mills
Ah, Wikipedia. Is there no topic about which you won't argue?
I propose that someone edit the article to state that elephants are most common type of animal to be enrolled in diploma mills.
We're thinking Sports Medicine for Tank.
Maybe Liberal Arts for Phoenix.
Thats one smart looking cat in glasses. I wonder if he would do my taxes and let me pay him in scratches, pettings and catnip.
Well, this is all well and good, but I don't think my cat is ready for diploma-mill level work. Frankly her life experience amounts mostly to scratching furniture and vomiting hair-balls. And sleeping. Always with the sleeping.
I demand a remedial diploma mill for "special" kitties.
@squinko: Are you saying that just because you don't need a diploma for sniffing butts that it's not hard work? Speciesist.
@pecan 3.14159265: Bunnies are smart, but they have poor study rabbits.
These diploma mill cats are giving real degree-earning animals a terrible name. Also, campus photos: [cuteoverload.com]
@barb95: Too funny! I hate to say it, but the large corporation I work for throws any resume in the trash that says University of Phoenix. A lot if other companies do the same, I hear from friends. I feel badly for people who spent their money there.
I'm thinking psychology for my cat. The vet actually told us that she's insane, maybe with a psych degree she can figure out what's wrong with herself.
@Michael Belisle: Hahahaha I would, but i have a semi-decent standing with some admins, and I dont want to tick them off.
@h3llc4t, breaker of office dress codes: Yeah, I think that's probably the best strategy for Phoenix.
@pecan 3.14159265: While that is insanely cute, it's also horrible because none of those are wild rabbits. They're probably all abandoned pets that people got tired of when they realized that the cute bunny gets bigger and actually needs to be taken care of.
@squinko: But if diploma mills are allowed to use affirmative action to get more dogs in, then that's discriminatory against the cats! What about the cats, huh? Is no one thinking about the poor cats who keep losing in this situation? Obama's a racist!
@TCama: The dogs would only get in based on their abilities, not just because they were dogs. Giving a preference to a specific species is just wrong.
@squinko: I'm not a speciesist but dogs just aren't as smart.
Everyone knows it but they're just afraid to say it.
@pecan 3.14159265: oh nevermind. we could. when im taking a break from work.
Also, isnt it a pain when you search for something so you can find info to put on wikipedia, and then all that google gives you is wikipedia results?
Also: "Hmm... this article looks like it could use some more info. Let me check it out... on wikiped- UGH! nevermind!".
@squinko: Well, actually, they are wild rabbits. All or at least most of those rabbits are descended from rabbits that were domesticated, and were released as pets in the 1970s. That part was obviously a bad thing, but these rabbits thrived in the wild and the current population of rabbits look domestic, but are actually all wild.
@Zenatrul: There's a cat down the hall who won't even lift a paw for less than a Big Mac. It's insane how these smart cats are so entitled.
Ironic, as most cats on the internet have terrible spelling and grammar skills.
Seriously, guys, cheezburgar? No you cannot "haz" one until you can spell it properly.
@Cameraman: Well, you can argue that cats make the best linguists. They did, after all, create their own language.
This is really mean, you know. How could the pet owners put their cats through such shame?
I imagine that Colby Nolan was extremely proud of himself when they told him he qualified for an Executive MBA. Now he knows it was all a lie.
Shame on them.
@Michael Belisle: Wikipedia is the ultimate time-wasting resource. A few weeks ago, I spent an entire afternoon reading articles on memes. It's amazing how long the Leeroy Jenkins page is, considering how relatively obscure the meme is.
@treimel: Wait... your cat has experience sleeping, vomiting, and destroying someone else's furniture, and you don't think she's ready for higher education? You clearly did not go to the right college!
@Chris Walters: If the current trend is anything, Phoenix might do better in Criminal Justice - its what all the football players are majoring in these days.
@Real Cheese Flavor: Next you'll tell me they're better at sports because they have longer snouts and jump higher.
@pecan 3.14159265: Oh wow, that's really cool. I still feel bad about the poor house bunnies getting tossed outside. But I wouldn't mind finding a little rabbit hidey hole and stealing away a family or two. :D
I'm tempted, if only for a lark - to find the cheapest diploma mill and get one for my cat Wallace. He's such a doofus, I fear he wouldn't be able to succeed in the workforce without some bribing :( alas.
@squinko: What about rats and gerbils and hamsters? Don't see rabbits et al. running on wheels like them...talk about hard workers.
@subtlefrog: But what are the hamsters and gerbils working for? Do they generate electricity? If not, they're just spinning around for nothing. At least rabbits understand the futility of this. Rabbits make the best agricultural engineers because of their focus on greens and their stake in a good carrot crop.
@subtlefrog, pecan 3.14159265: Alright, we can allow Rodents, Mustelids and Lagomorphs into the affirmative action program.
@pecan 3.14159265: I spent some time reading about memes too. I was amazed/disappointed at the people who spend time nominating every new meme article for deletion.
Particular attention is paid to deleting articles about internet cartoons. No ma'am, you shall not read about Charlie the Unicorn on Wikipedia. Unicorns don't exist, even if 42 million people have seen him.
@h3llc4t, breaker of office dress codes: Philosophy may be a good one for Phoenix, too. Nevermind, he's probably not argumentative enough...
Hmm. This are serious thread.