Amazon.com Thinks Reader's Balls Are Splendid
Amazon's new PayPhrase service has its advantages and disadvantages, but one curious feature is that the system generates sample phrases for you. Usually these are pretty innocuous and uplifting—"Laura's Amazing Effort" and the like. But not for Gil. The PayPhrase system took the opportunity to comment on his private parts, and generated the phrase "Gil's Splendid Balls" for him.
This phrase does, at least, have the benefit of being easy to remember.
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Comments:
"Tim's Fiendish Narcissism". ;_; That hurts, Amazon. That really hurts.
Oh, I thought this whole thing was a Haiku conclusion generator!
"Academic Wealth"? I opened the window again and got "Annie's Sweet Nectar", which I find kind of disturbing.
Did they ask Gil's SO or are they just guessing?
@catnapped: Perhaps they've been to Gil's website - $39 single month, $29.95/month for yearly "membership."
It could have been worse. It could have said something like his nasty or stinky or Schweaty.
"Gil's balls are always bouncing
His ballrooms' always full
And everybody comes and comes again"
"Andy's Silent Amusement." Yep, I'm quietly mocking you all.
Amazon seems to like the idea of me having an assistant.. "Ian's Personal Assistant," "Ian's Enthusiastic Assistant," but then, "Ian's Enthusiastic Greed."
Okay, we've got everyone's Amazon Pay Phrase. Now what's your Porn Star name?
Anthony's colorful blanket
evidently, Amazon thinks I should go take a nap. Or it thinks I'm 3.
Hey wait, now I have all your Amazon Payphrase names. I just need to hack the PINs now. Thanks guys!
Usually these are pretty innocuous and uplifting[...]
What? And having a machine praise your balls isnt? I'd feel AWESOME if Cortana told me that I had splendid balls.
Also, for me it just says things like "Elegant Behavior" "Seven Proclamations" but does not put "Harmless'" in front of them. They changed it?
@jparadise: Only if people actually set them as their payphrases instead of just generating the sample and were then stupid enough to post them here.
@madanthony: probably gauged your maturity by your browsing history. Fairly accurate, if you ask me.
Matt's Soft Fedora? Odd...
@MostlyHarmless: In the inevitable War with the Machines, Gil's splendid balls may be all that stand between us and total annihilation. Their awe will serve as a distraction.
Pandare's Reticent Smiles.
Amazon thinks that I am awkward. Considering that what I've bought on Amazon consists solely of the middle Liddel (Attic Greek dictionary), Sci-Fi and gaming accessories, I can see where they might get that idea. Still, not exactly the thing you want to be reminded of first thing in the morning.
"MsAnthropy's Unseen Sovereignty" and "MsAnthropy's Eternal Welfare" (?) are my two favourite suggestions. I think it said "Widowed Residence" when I first glanced at the page, but I couldn't get that one to come back.
Oh, I just tried again and got "MsAnthopy's Unseen Forest". These are cracking me up. Easily amused, me!
I hate the very idea of the "PayPhrase". It's just another way to compromise security. I'm trying to get Amazon to not put it on my account.
Amazon has faith in me! "Michael's Courtly Exploits" ...at least it knows I'm kind.
"John's Sudden Availability" I hope Amazon doesn't know something I don't know.
"Sugarshock's Enormous Importance" and "Sugarshock's Diminutive Grandeur" followed swiftly by "Sugarshock's Attractive Portrait"
This is what I get for buying books on royal marriages...
My suggestions seem to employ the word "Gracious" fairly often.
Screw that. Gracious guys finish last.
@Eyebrows McGee (now with more baby!): Most of them also make excellent porn titles!
John's Excellent Broth
John's New Bottom
John's Raw Walnuts
John's Young Hobbies!
...
@jparadise: Thank you for stepping up and posting what had to be posted. Your selflessness will be remembered.
ScarletsWalk's Continual Cowardice.
Well, I guess I have to go find me a wizard.
Balls and splendid in the same sentence? Tuh. Ya.
They wanted mine to be "Madog Eats Babies", but I closed my account with them instead because they know too much.
@Liam Kinkaid: You'd rather it be blunt and say, "John's Cheating Wife"?
:P this thing is pretty silly, but it's all fun and games until it starts spouting racial epithets at people. "John Hates …" and such.
Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't a PayPhrase analogous to an account number?
It would seem the only thing stopping someone from making purchases with your phrase is not knowing you pin. I think posting yours here probably is not the brightest idea.
@oldwiz: look deeper into what they are trying to do...
the only thing someone can do with it is send things to your house....they cant get your account info...creditcard number or change your shipping address....so tell me...what is so bad about it?
Just putting it out there: does anyone think that Gil's balls are not splendid?
"bubbledumpster's Flamboyant Hat" and "bubbledumpster's Wise Paradoxes" were my favorites.
In other news, Consumerist is 5 years old.
I got the OP's and then this: "Aaron's Innocent Freshness"
If I need deodorant just suggest it and stop trying to be sneaky about it.
You do know that, while Amazon suggests a pay phrase for you, you can choose your own?
@nakkypoo: I don't think anyone has posted their actual phrase, just the suggestions that Amazon gave them. Because it's funny.
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I got "Eyebrows's Political Ambitions" and I was like, "How did it know I ran for office?"
YOU'RE FREAKIN' ME OUT, AMAZON!
Although splendid balls is way better.