Your Wish For Tofurky/Gravy-Flavored Soda Has Been Granted

Spotter of strange foods NORMLgirl has brought you another gem: Tofurky and gravy flavored soda, in a story by the bemused Cheryl V. Jackson of the Chicago Sun-Times.

Jackson writes:

Based on Tofurky vegetarian product, the beverage is vegan friendly and sugar free, the company says.

I’m no dietician, but I don’t imagine soda to be an integral part of a vegan’s diet. But that’s for our vegan readers to decide. So how about it, vegans — will this new carbonated delight become a part of Thanksgiving, the most depressing day of the year for you?

Jones Soda targets vegans with Tofurky and Gravey [Chicago Sun-Times]
(Photo: Chicago Sun-Times)

Comments

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  1. arsenicookie says:

    ew.

  2. tonberry says:

    something finally beat clamato!

  3. BrotherFlounder says:

    A Jones Soda without pure cane sugar? Doesn’t that kill (some of) the point?

  4. runchadrun says:

    I’m a vegetarian and Diet Coke is an integral part of my diet.

    I actually like Tofurky and I would like to know where in Southern California I can locate this fine soda. Seriously.

  5. Knippschild says:

    I think I just threw up a little in my mouth…

  6. jhench says:

    Jones has sodas like this every year around thanksgiving/christmas time. It’s more for novelty than actually wanting to drink the soda.

    • DoubleBaconVeggieBurger says:

      @jhench: Things like these probably have some of the highest “bought vs. consumed” ratios. (I just made that ratio up)

      Definitely something people would buy as a joke to bring along to Thanksgiving dinner.

  7. searonson says:

    If the soda is tofurky flavored why is there a dog on the label? I am frightened by the implications.

    • oloranya says:

      Jones puts photos sent in by random people on their soda labels. They’re all different, even within the same flavor of soda.

  8. Fatty Shcock says:

    Has anyone ever tried a Jones drink before? I mean, one of the odd flavored ones? If so, how are they?

    • TheWillow says:

      @Smiley Massacre: Odd Flavored as in Green Apple? It tastes pretty much like a green apple lollipop. Haven’t had the Thanksgiving 6 Pack flavors, but I’ve heard they taste exactly like their real life counterparts, which is not a good thing.

      • pecan 3.14159265 says:

        @TheWillow: Yeah, I think Smiley meant the Thanksgiving flavors. Green Apple and Bubblegum aren’t really odd flavors – Stewart’s Beverages has similar flavors like Key Lime and Peach.

    • dark_inchworm says:

      I personally thought Candy Corn was vile.

  9. sicknick says:

    Tofurky is horrible. I have veg-head friends who will not eat it. Last Thanksgiving these friends bought one of those little tofurkey roasts and we all tried some.

    Horrible. It’s not even pseudo meat. It’s kind of what is probably served in hell as a reward for taking your beating well that day. Except it’s not that good. It’s how I imagine a pasty cooked version of styrofoam to taste.

    That said, I plan on buying those same friends this, just because it’ll be cute as an xmas gift.

    • xsmasherx says:

      @sicknick: The Tofurkey roast has a baloneyesque taste; I prefer unturkey instead. Tofurkey Italian sausage is amazing, though.

      • jacques says:

        @xsmasherx: Do they still make the unturkey? I haven’t seen it in stores since 05 or 06. Disappointing, since that was leaps and bounds better than the tofurky. I especially liked the “skin”.

        • SatisfriedCrustomer says:

          @jacques: I think tofu turkey with the skin from a *real* turkey would be good. It would help people begin to make the transition from meat to vegetarian. Even better, a chicken wing or leg that’s assembled from a real chicken BONE plus tofu meat plus real chicken skin.

          This would be like 1% lowfat milk; it’s not skim milk but it’s partway there and nearly as good as whole.

      • katinka says:

        Sadly, you can’t buy the unturkey anymore. You can try to make your own tho!

        http://unturkey.org/

    • veg-o-matic says:

      @sicknick: Hickory Smoked Tofurkey Slices.
      It’s what the Tofurkey people have done right.

      @xsmasherx: The fella loves those Italian sausages as well. Me, I can’t get past that sausage-spice-smell. I have to have a window open when he cooks his.

    • subtlefrog says:

      @sicknick: I’ve been veg for ~30 years, vegan for 7, and damned if I can go near Tofurkey. In general, not a fan of the fake meat.

      But I gotta say I love the name Tofurkey.

  10. TakingItSeriously is a Technopile says:

    That’s great that they are including veggie versions of their novelty holiday drinks :)

  11. korybing says:

    This is nothing new for Jones Soda. They love making weird-flavored holiday drinks, and release a Thanksgiving pack every year with these sorts of flavors. It’s good publicity and enough people buy it for the novelty factor.

    Tofurky is alright, but I’m waiting for the Turducken-flavored Jones Soda.

  12. styrofoam says:

    The novelty drinks are god-awful.

    Terrible.

    I did a tasting of a ‘dinner’ once, and they were all just horrific.

    I’m a vegetarian, and I’ll eat tofurkey. But damn if I’m going near this thing. It’s all about the novelty. Apparently it’s working for Jones, as they keep doing it every year.

    • Deezul_AwT says:

      @styrofoam: Agreed. They are terrible, but it’s great to drink them with others so you can share the terrible experience. They taste like exactly what Jeff Probst does on those food challenges on Survivor when he puts in the food in a blender and people drink it.

  13. veg-o-matic says:

    Worth a shot. Literally, about an ounce to start with.

    We use (non-bone-char) sugar, we drink pop – some drink it just as much as non-vegans. Don’t confuse “vegan” with “30-day-cleansers,” “sugar-busters,” or “diet minimalists.”

  14. sumocat says:

    What’s up with the misspelling? The Chicago Sun-Times spells “gravy” with an “e” and you guys write “Tufurky”. Y’all need to spell-check those headlines.

    • Pink Puppet says:

      @sumocat: Ah, that’s how Tofurky is spelled. No e necessary.

      And just so you know, misspellings should be e-mailed to the Consumerist team. It gets it changed faster when you’re right, and makes you look less silly when you’re wrong.

  15. pop top says:

    I love Jones Soda, but their Thanksgiving pack is disgusting. I do have to give them credit for making the pop actually taste like brussel sprouts, turkey and stuffing, but that doesn’t mean it tastes good. Now their pie collection that put out around XMas is delicious.

  16. lucky929 says:

    This doesn’t even sound like a good idea. I like the ideas of the Jones Holiday sodas, but really only the ones based off sweets. The ones based off food feel like a step in the wrong direction toward Willy Wonka.

  17. Mecharine says:

    Would anyone drink a turkey flavored one?

    • Smashville says:

      @Mecharine: I dunno if they would, but there’s been enough of a demand for them that they keep bringing it back every year. They sell out of it in most years.

  18. Trai_Dep says:

    Jones Soda has a wicked sense of humor. I’ll bet their mixologists were laughing uncontrollably the entire time they were concocting this brew.

  19. whitneyvegan says:

    I’m vegan and I have some Tofury in the freezer waiting on Thanksgiving dinner. (It’s not THAT sad). But, Tufurky soda… nah. I’m just gonna pass …

  20. quirkyrachel says:

    So I tried to imagine what that would taste/feel like in my mouth, and now I need to brush my teeth to get the taste out.

  21. khfurletti says:

    just like Grandma used to make…

  22. Coopon says:

    I’ll confess. A few years ago a couple of my brothers and I had some of their Thanksgiving flavors. Another brother had sent them to us. It was sort of a Survivor/see who vomits competition. I would not recommend them. At all. I may not have vomitted but I suffered.

    As I recall the turkey and the cranberry ones weren’t too bad. The stuffing one was ugh. The pumpkin pie was like drinking potpourri. And the brussel sprout one was most likely to make you vomit (as demonstrated by one of my brothers).

    Precious holiday memories.

  23. Jupichan says:

    :/ Back when I was a vegetarian, I tried Tofurky.

    It’s pretty foul.

  24. Gracegottcha says:

    That’s just so icky that thinking about it makes me gag.

  25. JollyJumjuck says:

    I had heard on a Billy Connolly routine that English soccer fans drank something called Bovril. Recently I was in a “All Things British” store and they sold it. It’s basically like beef gravy, from what I read on the bottle. And people drink this at a soccer match? Bleh!

  26. HannerHearse says:

    Sounds gross, but I can’t wait to try it!

  27. Max2068 says:

    All I can say, is bravo to Jones for not jumping straight to Christmas. I’ll take all the T-day schlock you can throw at me, since almost nobody markets for the best holiday of the year anymore.

    That said, I’m with everyone who gagged a little when they imagined the taste.

  28. BluePlastic says:

    Yuck. This product looks more like a candidate for a Saturday Night Live spoof commercial. Hard to believe it’s real! I would be interested to know if they got any orders.

  29. B says:
  30. edicius is an acquired taste says:

    Pass on the Tofurky and Gravy, but I’m interested in the Zilch Vanilla Bean.

  31. Nick1963 says:

    Where in MA can I find this?

  32. Underscore_Lysdexia says:

    “Just thought we’d remind you about this in case you thought it was a gag — or a bad dream”

    Oh it makes me gag alright

  33. Muusu says:

    that’s pretty disgusting.

  34. veronykah says:

    Tofurkey & Gravy flavored with a picture of a dog on the front? Makes me think its FOR dogs.
    I’m sure mine would like it.

  35. Thaddeus says:

    Anyone watch Conan last night?

    /the-tonight-show-with-conan-obrien-andyll-try-it-tofurkey-and-gravy-soda

    Oh they made LaBamba drink it… I’m not shocked at the outcome.

  36. savdavid says:

    Barf!

  37. redxmagnum says:

    I think it’s admirable that Jones is making a product for veg*ns, knowing that it probably won’t do all that well. Are you watching, Every Food-Based Company Ever?

  38. banderlin says:

    I went to order this, but the shipping was ridiculously expensive. Pass.

  39. Meathamper says:

    It’s like the soda from hell.

  40. korybing says:

    Conan O’Brien recently made La Bamba drink some of this and he ended up spitting it all over himself.

    So. It’s got that going for it.

  41. d says:

    I think these guys also make a Candy Corn flavored soda. I bought some at Target one year – they had a 4 pack on sale for $0.50, so I figured what the hell, I like Candy Corn.

    Oh MY GOD – worst soda ever. I took one sip and was seriously overcome with the heebie jeebies… nasty stuff…

    I can only imagine the flavor this crap has…

  42. zandar says:

    @pecan 3.14159265: Durian, brilliant! Jones needs a durian soda. And gingko fruit too. (Ginkgo fruit smells and tastes like a cross between very old parmesan cheese and vomit.)

    Which brings me to… sugar free? they have to point out the gravy flavored soda is sugar free? Gag me with a spoon.

  43. JulesNoctambule says:

    @pecan 3.14159265: Kimchi rules! Of course, Diet Coke is on my version of that list.

  44. webweazel says:

    @pecan 3.14159265:
    SECONDED!
    Never considered the blood thing. I’ll have to add it to my list. On my list, I have organ meats and insects. No brains, eyeballs or crickets for me. Yeah, yeah, I know, flour and grains have bug parts. I can deal with that. At least they’re not deep fried and smothered in chocolate.
    “Oh, but the legs are soooo crunchy!”
    *Shudder*

  45. dumblonde says:

    @pecan 3.14159265: Apparently turtle’s yummy. Older people that ate sea turtle back when it was legal say it’s delicious.

  46. Toffeecake says:

    @pecan 3.14159265: I’m Cajun, and my family and I grew up eating a lot of things that I never would have thought twice about, but apparently really freak out people in other parts of the country. We loved telling people around here, “Try the boudin, you’ll love it! Just don’t ask what’s in it.”

  47. Spider Jerusalem says:

    @pecan 3.14159265: Kimchi is fantastic. As a kid, I always loved durian. It tasted like alcoholic ice cream when properly chilled.

  48. rockasocky says:

    @pecan 3.14159265: So I guess you’re probably not interested in ever traveling to Asia…or Scotland.

  49. Verucalise (Est.February2008) says:

    My SO served three years in South Korea in the army… he eats Kimchi with Ramen Noodles.

    Most disgusting thing I have ever seen!

  50. LeChiffre says:

    @Trai_Dep: I just threw up all over my keyboard.

  51. Knippschild says:

    @Trai_Dep: Oh no… this is those Harry Potter Hogwart Jelly Beans all over again!

  52. pecan 3.14159265 says:

    @webweazel: I watch a lot of Andrew Zimmern and he always, always ends up cajoled into eating something with blood as an ingredient, and he’s so gung ho about it. I can’t do it.

    Organ meats I’m not opposed to. I actually ate a lot of liver during my childhood and I didn’t mind it. I also ate a lot of tripe during family dim sum get togethers, and I still like it. No shame!

    @Oranges w/ Cheese has 2 cats! ahahaha.: I’m pretty adventurous when it comes to food, except when I sincerely think eating something will be detrimental to health (see blood). I oppose haggis simply because it just seems so unappetizing. It’s not the ingredients, it’s the combination of which just does not appeal in any way.

    @Trai_Dep: I watched the Alton Brown 10th Anniversary Good Eats Special, and he played his favorite clip from Good Eats, which was the demonstration (in the woods, with bad Braveheart-mullets and kilts) of making haggis – it was a purely non-technical thing done for laughs – but the accents were so ridiculously terrible that I always associate haggis with that clip and I still can’t find it appetizing.

    @zandar: My grandma would eat durian, and it was apparently one of her favorites. I just remember walking into the store and smelling the faint odor of uncracked durian. And when there was one at home, you couldn’t escape it once it had been cut open. The smell just followed you.

  53. pecan 3.14159265 says:

    @s73v3r: It’s crazy that they haven’t started to release all of Good Eats episodes on DVD (instead of doing their ‘best of’ DVDs). I would totally buy them! Of course, the problem with releasing all of them on DVD is that Alton Brown just reworked a lot of the recipes from the first few years, so the episodes themselves aren’t as relevant if the recipes have been changed.

    Alton Brown is one of my heroes, along with Mal Reynolds.

  54. gStein_*|bringing starpipe back|* says:

    @Rectilinear Propagation: dammit, that was my trashcan!

  55. KristinaBeana says:

    @dumblonde: My mom looooves real snapper soup. Of course, the shot of sherry that goes on it probably helps.

  56. calquist says:

    @pecan 3.14159265: Do they repeat pictures? I feel like I have never seen a duplicate, ever. I don’t check often, but I saw one with a pug once and then never saw it again.

  57. catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

    @s73v3r: give it a couple of months, now that it’s been said….

  58. JulesNoctambule says:

    @Spider Jerusalem: Properly ripe, chilled durian is yummy! Our local Korean market carries them, but I can never convince anyone to go in on one with me.

  59. veg-o-matic says:

    @subtlefrog: Heh. I often feel a similar dramatic urge. I think I like that. I might use that to announce my entrance to the next non-vegan restaurant I go to.

    .. ok I won’t, but still.

    Also: best carbonated bev ever – a few ounces of Knudsen Morning Blend or Mega Antioxidant juice, mixed with lots more Raspberry Lime carbonated water, top with few slices of fresh lime. Not as sugary as regular soft drinks, twice as tasty. Plus, vodka-ready!

  60. webweazel says:

    @pecan 3.14159265: Yeah, I loved liver when I was a kid. Why, I do not know. Kids shouldn’t like stuff like that. One day, I smelled it cooking, and the bile started rising. It was like a switch. One day I liked it, and the next, couldn’t even smell it without gagging. (Strangely enough, I still LOVE calf’s liverwurst, but can’t get it where I live.)

    Happened the same with cornbread. Loved it one day, couldn’t stand it the next. I can’t eat cornbread, cornbread stuffing, or cornmeal fried catfish. Weird.

  61. s73v3r says:

    @catastrophegirl: Is that some kind of corollary of Rule 35?