Yes, they’re Barracuda pants—the only trousers that remind you, and anyone within eyesight, that you have a penis.
The copy says: “Male makes pure man stuff… like bold and brawny Barracuda slacks with swing-around pocket styling. They cling like a girl in the dark. Won’t wrinkle—they’re permanently pressed! Rarer fabrics…richer colors…better tailoring…modest prices…all yours at better stores throughout the Free World. Go look them over. You’ll buy an armload.
H+K CORPORATION, Atlanta, Ga. * creators of MALE – THE FASHION SPOKESMAN FOR AMERICAN MEN”
I think my favorite part about this retro magazine ad is that these super manly manly pants are available “at better stores throughout the Free World.” That’s as priceless as the placement of the guy is unfortunate.
(Image: SA_Steve)
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Do they come in a 42/44 waist???
@bloggerX: …and hopefully with a hidden comfort waist.
They look like a younger version of the dancing couple on the Viagra commercials. Exactly what I want superimposed on my crotch.
@Coles_Law: Oh, they are. See what wearing the pants did to him?
@Coles_Law: Hey, if you had them superimposed on your crotch, I bet the ladies would find you sexier.
I really wanted to write this in 1960′s terminology, but damned if I could come up with anything.
They cling like a girl in the dark? Why, because girls are scared of the dark? Sheesh!
@barb95: I think it was meant in a more lights off = knickers off kind of way.
@barb95: I prefer:
@barb95: No, that’s Canadians.
A pair of them and a quick splash of Sex Panther and you’ll be good to go.
@sir_eccles: A manly scent, it stings the nostrils
@sir_eccles: Don’t you mean High Karate?
Save yourself money; put a rolled-up sock down the front.
Honestly at first glance I thought the guy in the ad was giving that girl a backhanded smack upside the head. “How dare you insult my skin-tight pants, they’re exciting!” POW!!
“Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis? Isn’t it frightfully good to have a dong? It’s swell to have a stiffy, it’s divine to own a dick, from the tiniest little tadger to the world’s biggest prick… “
@Paladin_11:
But it comes with a heavy responsibility: after all, every sperm is sacred.
@treimel: Tell that to my mom’s dog who humps every pillow in sight
It almost looks like the man is about to roundhouse kick the lady behind him.
Great snuggling grape smugglers.
Someone please explain Barracuda pants to me. As a woman, I obviously don’t seem to get the reference.
Those pants look too tight. I think that guy became sterile after wearing them.
@LatherRinseRepeat: Tight pants with tight legs are the fashion now (at least in Europe, which means they’ll be in the US next year). Everyone here is wearing them… which is very enjoyable to look at. Hehehe…
The pants in the ad are actually quite nice. I want some!
It looks like she’s chasing after him. Is he a purse-snatcher? I’m no criminal, but I don’t think Barracuda pants are well suited for crime.
Looks like it was designed by Sterling Cooper.
if these pants are real i will rock them.
They’re like the plastic pants my dad used to buy me in the 80′s, from K-mart I think. In my opinion, denim shouldn’t stretch much.
I once wore a baggy pair of cheap khakis. The whole day people mistook me for a woman and called me “miss.” It was embarrassing and emasculating.
MEN, DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE PROPER PANTS SELECTION!
If I recall correctly, Eldridge Cleaver (yes, of Black Panther fame) invented some pants in the 70s, called “Cleavers” that came with a visible codpiece. Yep, there you’d be, swinging in the wind for the whole world to see. He called it the “appurtence”.
@David in Brasil: Oh my, yes, he did. The codpiece was called a “Cleaver sleeve.”
Here’s the photo of Eldridge modeling his creation.
NSFW.
[www.ectomo.com]
@pwillow1: OMG! You can’t tell me men wore these out on the street. I would pee myself laughing if I ever saw a man in these pants!
@Gracegottcha: You lose. Peeing your pants is more embarrassing.
As a male, I have always preferred dresses and skirts to pants.
I can see them creating this ad in a “Mad Men” episode
Well, I, um,…oh jebus! I really don’t know WHAT to say after seeing the Eldridge Cleaver ad. I guess he could tie an onion to his belt ’cause it was the style at the time. Or maybe two onions?
These pants may have come first, but it was 1986 David Bowie from the movie Labyrinth that truly popularized tight pants that emphasize “the area”.
@Xerloq, we are all made of stars.: Only the “Black Russian”.
(that’s NOT a racist statement for the non Rowan Atkinson fans out there)
@WeAre138: But keep in mind those wolf shirts can cure AIDS.
@H3ion: Camel Toe FTW
@WeAre138: