Verizon Wireless Relegates iPhone To Island Of Misfit Toys

As a whimsical follow-up to AT&T’s lawsuit concerning their “There’s a map for that” ads, Verizon Wireless released their Christmas-themed set of AT&T/iPhone bashing ads today. They’re harsh, but also pretty funny.

Poor iPhone. Or, smartphone-like device that resembles an iPhone. According to Verizon, its 3G coverage means that it has no place in this world except the island of misfit toys.

Other commercials declare that AT&T users will experience a blue Christmas, and that only the naughty will receive AT&T phones as holiday gifts. Ha ha! Sigh.

Verizon Wireless Launches Three More Anti-AT&T 3G Network Commercials [Gizmodo]

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  1. xenth says:

    When two marketers go to war, viewers win. Reminds me of the Budweiser vs Miller showdown.

    • scootinger says:

      @xenth: But viewers lose when companies like Verizon and (especially) AT&T have anti-competitive exclusivity agreements for certain devices. Therefore, if I want an iPhone, I have no choice but to use AT&T, which has HORRID data service in the town that I live in. A lot of the time I don’t even get the 70kbps advertised by AT&T for its EDGE service (and this is in the middle of town!); I suspect this is due to overloading of the network. On the other hand, both Verizon and Sprint offer 3G service in my area; I’m not sure about T-Mobile’s EDGE service but wouldn’t be surprised if it’s superior to AT&T’s.

  2. Verucalise (Est.February2008) says:

    Reminds me of the Directv commercials LOL… love it!

  3. microcars says:

    “oh look, an iPhone! and some toys! that reminds me: I want an iPhone.”

  4. Paladin_11 says:

    Look closely… it’s not a real iPhone, it’s a Chinese knock-off. Verizon might be desperate but they’re not stupid. They really really want to carry the iPhone themselves. Aside from the “Droid Does” stuff they’ve been very careful to attack AT&T and not Apple.

    • RogerTheAlien says:

      @Paladin_11: I was definitely noticing that, too. But, calling the iPhone a misfit toy, whether directly or through alluding to it, probably won’t endear Apple to Verizon too much. But you’re definitely right; Verizon would probably kill to have the iPhone on their network and, right now, it seems kind of like a Sour Grapes mentality they’re throwing out there.

      Plus, no publicity is bad publicity? Like microcars said above, it’ll just remind people that they’d like an iPhone for Christmas. Unless they’re part of the anti-iPhone cause. Because, you know, being pro- or anti-iPhone is totally a life-defining decision.

  5. pearl says:

    I think this is rather immature. People want the iPhone, not necessarily AT&T. So, they are stuck with AT&T coverage if they want to deal with the iPhone through legal means. Sure, maybe Verizon does have a larger 3G network, but if there was some way to bring an iPhone to Verizon, then I’m sure people would change to Verizon. But alas, they use this so inconvenient CDMA.

    - an impartial iPhone user

    • JerryMouse says:

      @pearl: you do know that you can get the iPhone and not use it on ATT, right?

      I have T-Mobile’s myPhone3G (No Contract) and I’m using it on AT&T instead (Waiting out the last 2 months of my AT&T contract)

      • pecan 3.14159265 says:

        @JerryMouse: That’s really only an option if you get T-Mobile coverage where you need it. That’s not an option for us right now.

      • pearl says:

        @JerryMouse: Well yeah, but you gotta unlock the iPhone to use it on another network, which is a breach of contract, right?. I’m not sure though because I’m not in the States right now. In Germany, T-Mobile sells the 3G 8gb iPhone with a prepaid option and the option to unlock after a year. Not the greatest but I’ll take what I can get.

      • Eat A Peach says:

        @JerryMouse: In the US the only other network you can use an iPhone on is T-Mobile and in some areas a network call IMMIX. The other carriers are all non-sim based and the iPhone in its current incarnation only works with GSM networks (sim card based).

        • JerryMouse says:

          @Eat A Peach: thank you, but im still not buying one :P

          Great name btw! (peach)

          • Eat A Peach says:

            @JerryMouse: LOL! I admit that I own one (but I waited 2 years and for a great price – $50 for 8gb 3G model) but I’m one of those – you use what suits you and your budget. I personally like my AT&T service and have been with them for over 7 years because of it, but I don’t agree with the exclusivity end of the iPhone deal. But then again, if you really don’t want AT&T, pay full price for the phone and then unlock it so it can be used on other compatible networks (and to be honest I think all networks should have to be compatible so that any phone can be unlocked and used on any network out there).

    • SkuldChan says:

      @pearl: As an actual AT&T customer I love these ads – because I hope it encourages the company to fix their network.

      Whats really awful is their coverage map is actually worse than what they protray. I live in an area that is solid blue for 3G, but I’m lucky if I even get cell service at all (frequently get zero bars). I’ll probably switch to the droid once is comes out assuming Verizon doesn’t castrate it.

  6. Silversmok3 says:

    Meh. Every cell carrier has coverage holes…its just a matter of finding one that works where you are.

    • Shadowfire says:

      @Silversmok3: Verizon’s coverage map is a load of crap anyway. You have 3G coverage in Vermont? No you don’t.

      • JonBoy470 says:

        @Shadowfire: Vermont has a longstanding moratorium on construction of new cell towers. They don’t restrict the carriers from recapitalizing the equipment they have on the towers built before the moratorium went into effect.

  7. diasdiem says:

    Nobody wants a Charlie-in-a-Box! Or lousy 3G coverage, either.

  8. jparadise says:

    I think it’s fair game. A lot of people buy the iPhone for the fun games and fancy screen anyways, and probably don’t care about the 3G coverage issue.

  9. TVarmy says:

    So, does the Isle of Misfit toys get 3G coverage? Looks to me like California and the Northeast corridor are perfectly good for it. Is there something the government isn’t telling me about New Jersey? Is it actually a place where the flawed, misfit people are forced to live together?

    Also, this makes the iPhone cute and charming, like a teddy bear with one eye. Meanwhile, the Droid is scary and futuristic.

  10. dantsea says:

    All I really take away from that commercial is that Verizon doesn’t have the iPhone, but they do have some phones that are like totes more awesome, but they’re not going to tell me about them other than that the phones they sell aren’t the iPhone oh and PS: iPhone!

  11. chucklebuck says:

    Is the Droid’s $350 early termination fee somewhere on that island?

  12. nobodyman says:

    These ads are smart because they don’t attack the iPhone (which people like) but rather AT&T (which pretty much everyone hates). A wise move, especially considering that Verizon will be want to carry the iPhone when it’s no longer an AT&T exclusive.

  13. Chip Skylark of Space says:

    The biggest problem with Verizon is their damned support staff. I worked with cell phones at work for about 2 years, and their billing was crap, their service staff was crap, and dealing with them was like dealing with IBM 30 years ago. We had a bunch of people order personal cells from Verizon when they used to come to work and sell out of our cafeteria. Everyone of those phones is now listed as a company phone, so if any of those people want to upgrade their service, I need to fill out a COA form for them. Verizon’s billing is so ancient that they can’t do a mass change to correct their own fuck up, which they readily admit.

    By comparison, AT&T is flexible, and support can be easily reached at any time, and they get things corrected when you do.

  14. DoctorMD says:

    I was at Sun Devil Stadium awash in AT&T advertisements and barely had an Edge signal on my iphone. Awesome

  15. That's Consumer007 to you says:

    Good for Verizon. The ad worked. I’m an Iphone user and I HATE the lack of reception in Downtown Denver (yes on the streets, not just in the skyscraper, which I understand for other logistical reasons).

    LOOKIE what I just got from AT&T:

    ———- Forwarded message ———-
    From: AT&T- Rocky Mountain Region
    Date: Wed, Nov 11, 2009 at 9:54 AM
    Subject: Great News – 3G Coverage throughout Colorado just got better!

    Dear -REDACTED-,

    We wanted you to be among the first to know! We’ve recently enhanced the 3G network throughout Denver, Boulder, Aurora, Englewood, Littleton, Longmont, Greely, Golden, Arvada, and Fort Collins to provide better in-building 3G coverage, fewer dropped calls and a better overall wireless experience.

    The great news is coverage in Colorado will continue to improve as we expand capacity, optimize, and add more sites in the coming months.

    With better coverage on the nation’s fastest 3G network, there’s never been a better time to be an AT&T customer.

    We thank you for your continued loyalty and look forward to sharing more good news soon.

    Jace Barbin
    Jace Barbin
    Vice President & General Manager
    Rocky Mountain Region

  16. CompyPaq says:

    @Trai_Dep: I highly doubt that Apple at this point will release a CDMA iPhone, though they have been taking quite a bit of flack for the ATT problem.

  17. facted says:

    @Trai_Dep: Verizon would love to have the IPhone on it’s network. This is not a dig on the iphone but instead on the ATT network. You can bet that Apple is trying to figure out the best way to get out of it’s ATT exclusivity contract and get their phone on other networks.

  18. RogerTheAlien says:

    @RobThy: Even as an avid iPhone/Mac/Apple lover, I can recognize funny ads when I see them, even if they’re at the expense of something near and dear to me. And yeah, these are clever ads. The advertising agency did a good job and, while I don’t think they’d every sway me to go with Verizon, they’re still fun to watch. Captialism at its finest.

  19. PencilSharp says:

    @RobThy: Verizon uses the McCann Erickson agency. These are the dudes who were responsible for a LOT of classic ad stuff (Coke’s “Sing” and Rice-a-Roni’s jingle).

    And grouch all you want, iPhonies, but you are the ones giving Verizon buzz just by discussing it.

    But what do I know? I’m only paying $15/mo for Net10 service…

  20. Greasy Thumb Guzik says:

    @kcvaliant:
    The storie I read said that Verizon turned down Apple because Apple wanted way too much control & Verizon is all about control itself.

  21. ElizabethD says:

    @yentaleh:

    Rotary dial… ah yes, slo-mo dialing. Until 1987 we lived in a rural town that had no touch-tone capability. I don’t miss those days.

  22. DangerMouth says:

    @CFinWV: Well, yes, but there seems to be an extra helping of hate for AT&T.

    I watched my partner becoming more and more annoyed at the lousy coverage, dropped calls and billing issues, that he started keeping track of every. single. issue. and sending AT&T a bill for his time every month, lolz.

    But seriously, when you have to spend 3-4 hours on the phone every month just to get spurious charges removed, the hatred, it burns.

  23. El_Red says:

    @pot_roast: GSM is already getting retired in several countries (just like analog, will take 8-10 years to completely disappear). LTE is an evolution of GSM.