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Just In Case Your Hands Are Jealous Of Your Butt

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Reader Ashi has just alerted us to the existence of this product and asked the question: "Ummm...What the f*ck?"

Unfortunately, while we do our best to answer your questions, in this case we have to admit: We do not f*cking know.

[Handerpants]
Handerpants: Support Where You Never Knew You Needed It [Gizmodo]

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Comments:

37
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Hopefully this isn't the only thing the aliens find a million years after humans have gone extinct. Talk about embarrassing.

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Is there a flap in the palm or something? Just in case a Wraith needs to feed?

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@Burning pakalolo not even noticing the weather: I thought it was supposed to be a potato?

Anyway, if you're burning pakalolo, I have a feeling you won't really be worried about underpants for your hands or otherwise. ;)

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This... this isn't a serious product, is it?

Please, tell me this is a joke. Please. PLEASE.

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Finally my hands can shed the jealousy they have towards squirrels and the comfort AND support they have enjoyed for some time now.

[www.squirrelunderpants.com]

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Tighty-whities? I prefer boxers.

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This is gross--even if they're like bikers gloves..just the thought of sweaty handerpants....blech.

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hey, just another type of fingerless glove! LOL

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I wonder what the streaks in the handerpants would be from.

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Let's see what Victoria's Secret can make of this.

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@MostlyHarmless: I just cut slits between the fingers and go crotchless.

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I guess if you found skidmarks on them it would raise a whole other suite of "what the f*ck"s.

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Do they have those with Hello Kitty?

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@diasdiem: That comment is definitely a knock-out.

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This is the opposite of what I want. I want gloves for my butt.

However, if Archie McPhee sells it, kind of the only competitor to the Johnson Smith Co.? It's real.

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From the website (emphasis mine ... though I'd love to bold every bullet point, actually)

# Fits Most Hands
# Breathable Cotton
# Form Fitting
# Prevents Chafing
# Absorbs Sweat
# Distracts Enemies
# Non Toxic
# Great For Jazz Hands

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All jokes aside, these would be great for lifting if they were priced cheap. I constantly have to do self surgery on my hands to remove several millimeters of callouses every couple of weeks. Any serious deadlifter will agree regular gloves for lifting are too thick and screw with the feel of the bar and the ability to get a good grip. Thinner ones cost the same but wear out quicker. I could see these being cheaper and more disposable.

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@rocketbear79:
But alas- you would have to explain why you're wearing underwear on your hands.

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@LadySiren: Naah. A butternut squash - fat end down, of course.

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Meh. I make my own handerpants at home.

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@diasdiem:
Screw that- I wand She-Ra Hand-eroos!

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@rocketbear79: Points for the bear, plus "fingerless" gloves are used for tasks where finger dexterity is needed for fine motor tasks, like picking and placing small parts.

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Heh... I'm clearly the odd one out in seeing a practical purpose of using these as liners for ski gloves...

I mean, you're hands get sweaty and gloves can get stinky...

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And coming soon for the senior citizen crowd: Granny Handerpanties!

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@ReverendBrown: Wow. I watched every episode of that show, and your joke still went over my head -- at first. Weird. It must be that triple-dose of NyQuil that I policy endeavored last probably.

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@Underpants Gnome: thread win. shut 'er down.

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Get your hands out of my pants! What are you trying to pull?