Even In Death, You Can Still Shop At Walmart

Walmart now provides for their customers from cradle to grave. Quite literally—since you can not only purchase cribs there, you can now order caskets and funerary urns from the mega-retailer’s Web site.

The caskets and urns are made in the USA by Star Legacy Funeral Network, Inc., which also supplies coffins to Overstock.com and Costco. (Funeral homes are required by law to let families supply their own caskets or urns.) They are delivered via FedEx within 48 hours of ordering, and can be delivered directly to the funeral home.

Or, like my family’s former pastor, you can buy your coffin early, store it in your home, and freak out your neighbors when you move.

Walmart’s caskets cost between $1,000 and $3,100. They are not returnable.

Wal-Mart now selling caskets, urns online [MSNBC]

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  1. Nick1693 says:

    Will they still check my receipt?

  2. GitEmSteveDave_ThatChickRockingKicks says:

    I’d be worried about all the chemicals in it. You wouldn’t want whoever is using it to get sick or lead poisoning.

    Also, will the urns hold animal ashes?

  3. giggitygoo says:

    Ugh, but have you ever seen what kind of corpses shop in Walmart?? I’ll stick to Costco, where the rest of high society corpses shop for their coffins, thank you very much.

    • QuantumRiff says:

      @giggitygoo: I was thinking the same thing.. Costco has been doing this forever. You can even order and pay (or is it pay a very large deposit) now, and then when you croak, your family just has to let them know, and the casket will be there in like 1 day.

  4. TheMugs says:

    Finally I can buy my coffin, a bell and a string all at the same place !

  5. The_Legend says:

    Chinese lead, from cradle to grave!

  6. barb95 says:

    I would hate to be the fedex guy delivering these things.

  7. jaydez says:

    the website states they start at $895.00 what a bargain! AND they are made in the USA!

  8. The_Legend says:

    No customer product reviews?

  9. Willow01 says:

    CostCo did it!

  10. Quake 'n' Shake says:

    I saw this in the paper this morning and pointed it out to my mother-in-law. Since she loves shopping at Wal-Mart, I told her to forget about cremation, we’ll just bury you.
    I can picture the hushed conversation at her funeral now…

    My brother-in-law: Why is the casket all scratched and dented?
    Quake ‘n’ Shake: It was a floor model we picked up on clearance. What the hell do you want from me?

    For the record, my mother-in-law laughed.

  11. The_Legend says:

    I wonder if they will mark ‘em down on Black Friday or Cyber Monday? Would make a hell of an ad.

  12. ConsumerPop says:

    God, shipping on that thing must be killer.

  13. captadam says:

    This is amazing! Incredible! Worthy of a front-page story in the New York Times! Wal-Mart is SELLING SOMETHING MADE IN AMERICA!!

  14. Meathamper says:

    I dunno, I still prefer these guys:

    [www.tributedirect.com]

  15. segfault, registered cat offender says:

    I’m having trouble locating the caskets at Walmart.com. Are they in the “Outdoor Living” section, “Health and Beauty,” “Gifts and Celebration,” “Personal Care,” or “Storage and Organization?”

  16. Goatweed says:

    My wife and I noticed last week that Costco is also selling coffins – needless to say, it was “weird” to see the sample coffin on our way to meet the receipt-checker-guy.

  17. ArcanaJ says:

    Not returnable? Then what am I supposed to do when I’m done with it?

  18. Library Card says:

    Walter Sobchak: GOD DAMN IT! Look, just because we’re bereaved, that doesn’t make us saps!

  19. drotor says:

    Pfft. Cradle-to-grave coverage is nothing. They need to target the sperm-to-worm market.

  20. econobiker says:

    “(Funeral homes are required by law to let families supply their own caskets or urns.)”

    This was only recently made law in TN as coffin sales were formerly only allowed to be by licensed funeral directors. As always, a monopoly generated higher prices, so people fought and got the law overturned. Even in the Nashville area there are a couple of lower end strip malls with retail sales coffin showrooms in them…

    • GitEmSteveDave_ThatChickRockingKicks says:

      @econobiker: Are you sure? I remember this was passed as a FEDERAL law at least 5 years ago. Unless TN is saying they aren’t part of the USA.