Teen Girls Accused Of "Food Contamination" After Squeezing Muffins
We're not quite sure what to make of U.K. grocery chain Tesco. First, the store bans a Jedi after he refuses to lower his hood. And, now, the chain is threatening legal action against two teenage girls who squeezed a couple of muffins to see how fresh they were.
According to published reports, the two 17-year-old girls, who were visiting England from Italy, squeezed two blueberry muffins, and purchased a third, before being stopped by security as they tried to leave the store. The Sun reports that, after being questioned in the store's basement, the girls were released with a warning that included a threat of criminal charges:
Staff told them they had committed an offence of "food contamination" and gave them a document containing formal advice. The pre-printed piece of paper warned of the potential criminal action the girls faced and instructed them to call a lawyer.
A Tesco spokesperson said the girls had been seen "damaging" the muffins, adding that "they were stopped outside the shop, taken back in and told what they had done was wrong."
We can only wonder what Tesco would have done with Mr. Whipple.
We'll sue for muffin squeeze [The Sun]
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Comments:
That happened to me once when I touched a watermelon to see if it was fresh (I was taught that hitting it and hearing the sound determines the freshness... I doubt it). Got yelled at a whole aisle away.
This was in Tesco? Good thing those girls didn't squeeze those muffins using the force...
My favorite part of girls squeezing muffins is... ahhh, nah, too easy a lesbian joke.
What's the problem? Would you want to eat those muffins after they've handled them? I wouldn't.
It's different with produce. You can wash it before you eat it.
So the store is looking to recoup the cost of two muffins then? From a customer who already purchased from them? How is this worth any of their time?
Doesn't sound like the store's actually bringing charges against them - just telling them that they could and will if it happens again.
@fantomesq:
Would you want to eat the two muffins they left there? Here's s a muffin for ya, oh, and don't worry I wipe with my left hand! Or do I?
@ovalseven: You have an immune system for a reason. Somebody touching a muffin isn't going to hurt you.
@zjgz: Yes, we have an immune system for a reason. But is it still wrong not to be excited about eating food that someone touched after possibly taking a shit and not washing hands or going to a UK petting zoo where e. coli broke out?
Sure, most people can catch e. coli and be fine after a few days of discomfort, but pardon me for not being thrilled by the fact of becoming best friends with my toilet.
@zjgz: Our immune systems don't always prevent us from getting sick.
Considering that grocery carts contain more bacteria than public restrooms, I'd rather not eat anything after it's been handled by the customers. It's just not an appetizing thought.
"Squeezing Muffins" sounds like British slang for some kind of sexual act. Or maybe a band.
It may be cultural. If they were visiting from Italy and if it can be assumed they have affinity for freshness, they were squeezing the muffins to make sure they weren't too old.
I lament that, as a guy, I can't think of a muffin-squeezing joke.
If you don't want people touching your products, then don't put them out in the open.
@Bearded Rapper: Actually, there's truth to that. Hollow-sounding watermelons are an indication of a good level of ripeness. And you have to examine color, as well.
@fantomesq: Seriously. A simple "Girls, please only touch the pastries you're going to buy" from the bakery manager would cover this one.
The rippers-open of corn, on the other hand, deserve immediate incarceration.
@SabreDC: Exactly. I have an immune system, why should I bother washing my hands all the time? Cause my immune system is not always on full shield from the billions of germs that are everywhere.
"Don't squeeze the muffins!" seems to be a very good code phrase for some kind of espionage.
@unpolloloco: Though it sounds like they were told, albeit in a form letter, to call their lawyer, even though they weren't serial muffin squeezers.
@pecan 3.14159265: I propose the invention of a self serve muffin dispenser. Insert money, press "blueberry", get muffin. Problem solved.
@SabreDC: Can the dispensing method involve a muffin cannon? Like a modified t-shirt gun? It shoots blueberry cannons from 5 feet away!
Press 3 for Blueberry
*presses 3*
PONK!
THUD.
@floraposte: Wait a minute...without pulling down the husks an inch or so, how can I tell whether the corn is good or mealy?
@ovalseven: Depends, did they use the paper? The one you are supposed to use so you don't actually touch the baked goods?
@SabreDC: i think you might have a moneymaker there.
then again, there's probably a muffin vending machine in japan already.
Watch, they'll end up on some predator list as "muffin squeezers".
Now what if they had been squeezing jelly donuts? Would that make a difference?
I'm surprised the two lasses simply didn't tell the store people to get stuffed and walk out. Can one be lawfully detained for muffin squeezage in once-great Britain? And you're damned straight they should be contacting a lawyer - to sue Tessco for unlawful imprisonment or whatever the corresponding charge is over there.
@ovalseven: The problem is they seem to be going apeshit over two muffins -- to the point of apparently valuing the muffins over their own reputation.
It's also strange that the management stands behind it's security department that is going out of it's way to bully two teenage girls who barely speak the language.
@ovalseven: Everywhere I go individual muffins are plastic wrapped. If they weren't wrapped I wouldn't buy there anyways. I have no problem with some gentle squeezing goin' on. ;-)
I don't think they would have had to much luck demanding my 275 lb 6ft 4" butt to go BACK into a store to berate me over a squezed muffin. I guess teenage girls are alot easier to powertrip on.
@Bearded Rapper: Hitting? No. Tapping with a fingertip while holding fruit up to ear? Certainly. Watermelons that don't sound hollow are under-ripe.
I was expecting this to be a chav story, but it just seems like overkill...
@zjgz: I guess making food prep people wash their hands before coming back from the bathroom is overkill, huh?
@Applekid: You know, the first thought I had when i read that headline was: "Haha wow, i need to make a joke about it." then it went "oh come on! way too easy", and then "theyre only 17".
@Bearded Rapper: You know, I can understand it with a non-washable food, such as muffins. Honestly, I wouldn't want my baked foods touched by random people off the street.
But watermelon? Don't we all wash our fruit? On top of that, we don't even eat the rind! I mean, seriously. Would you have gotten yelled at if you picked up a can of soup to see what the ingredients were? It seems fairly analogous.
@H3ion: C'mon. You don't squeeze jelly donuts. You just stick your finger in the middle to check the flavor. I mean, sheesh!
The UK has gone nuts with all the "health and safety" nonsense. They need to install Jeremy Clarkson as prime minister!