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Attention: Deep Fried Butter Exists

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There's hope for the continued survival of humanity past the point where we invent robots with the ability to exterminate us and built robots of their own. How do I know this? Because we've invented "deep fried butter." If we can do that, the robots don't stand a chance.

The Today Show says that our hero is named Abel Gonzales Jr., and this is not his first foray into potentially species-saving fried foods. He is the "winner of past state fair competitions for his Texas Fried Cookie Dough, Fried Peanut Butter, Jelly and Banana Sandwich and Fried Coke recipes."

A human interviewed by the program alleges that Deep Fried Butter tastes, "like a hot roll with butter," and that it is "great."

Move over, Twinkies: Deep-fried butter is here [Today Show]
(Photo: Texas State Fair)

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125
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Good thing I skipped breakfast.

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i now officially weep for humanity

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Oh dear God, I think I just threw up a little. This is foul, even worse than reading "This is Why You're Fat" before lunch.

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The Minnesota State Fair is going on right now and has all kinds of crap like this. Deep-fried chocolate covered bacon ... Deep-fried candy bars ... Deep-fried cheese, etc.

I'm actually heading there today. I plan on eating my weight in deep-fried snickers.

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One vote on the "awesome" side. And reading the list of delectables available at this fair generally makes me weep over my soggy funnel cake.

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WHAT is available in garlic, grape or cherry? Dipping sauce for the deep-fried butter nuggets?

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No deep fried Lipitor™ to go with that?

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@Princess Leela: From the picture it appears the butter is flavored with that crap. Who's ever heard of something being flavored in either grape, cherry OR garlic though?

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A chewy, delicious and scrumptious way to say "Heart, I hate you."

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@Moosehawk: I made chicken fried, chocolate covered bacon for Thanksgiving once! My mom was horrified.

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If only I knew for sure if these were fried in lard.
Mmmm, lard........

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This is exactly what I did NOT need to see, right before breakfast ... ! Eeewwww!

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@Psychodad1961: Garlic toast? As an accompaniment to a bowl of pasta, okay ... as a deep-fried fair treat, not sure 'bout that.

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@Preyfar: In the future the robots will make humans with butter hearts. Then we will all be butter-eating, future inhabiting vampires.


Blood will be used to run cars, clean our future smocks, and run our deep fryers.

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Uhhh...why does the butter not melt? It's a pretty fragile substance.

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I think eating this would be considered a pre-existing condition on my health insurance policy.

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@gafpromise: It's Texas butter. It can withstand even the human digestion process down there.

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@gafpromise: They freeze the butter first. It does melt during the frying, but by then it's encased in the dough.

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@floraposte: Yeah, I think that actually sounds pretty tasty too.

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Well this is it folks... Apparently we've reached the apex of human evolution/invention. It's all down-hill from here; enjoy the ride.

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mmmm... Sounds delicious! When the socialized medicine bill passes and I get free unlimited health care, I'm getting me a bucket of these! Yum!

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one small fry for man...
one large leap to the way of humanity in Walle

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Didn't Paula Deen do this years ago?

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They deep fry the butter in bacon fat so the internets will approve.

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@Kuchen: Yes, she and Emeril have both fried butter in pork fat.

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@pecan 3.14159265: You too? Yesterday I found out at the ripe age of 47 that my lungs and heart are in great shape,,,,from my doctor. As of this reading, I felt my heart tightened up with fear.

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@Princess Leela: Once they'd perfected fried ice cream, it was only a matter of time. It's the fried Coke I'm really curious about.

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The best thing at the Texas State Fair? Fried Espresso. Amazing.

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@SonicMan: They also have giant bacon on a stick at the Minnesota State Fair.

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@DragonThermo: Oh god, first article I read, and we've already got a "rawr socialism" comment. I won't even pretend to hide my disdain for you.

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@Fresh-Fest-1986: When babies are born in the future they'll be dipped into a giant cup of Papa John's garlic butter dipping sauce to ensure a proper, flavorful welcome to society.

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@floraposte: Oh that reminds me of my sordid love affair with Chi-Chi's in the early 90s, little did I know just how sordid it really was. Ignorance most definitely is bliss.

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I'm more interested in the fried Coke. WTH?

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@ssaoi: So how does the "fried liquid" thing work? Is it fried frozen espresso (maybe turned liquid after frying?), or is it really just fried espresso-imbued dough?

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My dairy-loving kids are SO HAPPY.

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@Kuchen: I'm in Tennessee...but I think I'm going to have to move.

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@DragonThermo: Yawn. Unrelated political commentary makes me tired.

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@TinkishDelight: x2. How is that even possible? Doesn't it violate some fundamental law of physics?

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@Moosehawk: I've made candied bacon, doused in brown sugar, for parties, and my guests snarf it up. But even I don't think I could do deep-fried chocolate-covered bacon.

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@Princess Leela: That's the foulest detail of all. I mean, grape? What do they do, roll the butter in Kool-Aid powder before battering and frying?

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@harvey_birdman: A friend of mine ate it. She says it's just fritters of a Coke-flavored batter. I was imagining Coke ice cubes myself. Either way, ew.

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@floraposte: And thanks to that image, I am now free from hunger for today.

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We did this in college for a particularly butter-loving friend. Didn't freeze the butter first, just made sure the oil was hot enough to make the batter crispy before the melted butter could leak out.

Apparantly, it was delicious