I remember I was on a flight where I had my earphones on and my neck pillow yet the lady sitting next to me continued to have a conversation with me. I figured that those would be clear signals that I wanted some 'me' time and I no longer wanted to converse. She clearly didn't get the overwhelming signals of leave me alone so I continued to talk hoping to get out of the conversation in a polite natural way. Thank goodness it finally ended and I ended up getting some sleep.

You cannot teach common sense. If someone is rude on an airplane put them on the spot and politely call them out on it. 9 times out of 10 they are completely oblivious until you make them aware of what they are doing.

@UGAdawg: I hate people like that. Im not big on small talk with strangers. I try to be polite, but if I have my headphones in or am reading a book, why would you try to start a conversation with me? it just doesnt make sense.

@xtc46 - thinksmarter on twitter: I think some people are in their own little world and lack the skills on picking up social cues. My guess is the latter regarding the lady next to me.

If your seatmate has nodded off and you have to get out, you are allowed to crawl over them if you know you can do it without waking them up

Or they suddenly wake up to your crotch in their face.

He forgot one:

"The seat in front of you is not a handle for pulling you out of your seat. It is the back of someone else's seat!"

They forgot the one person that seems to take up two hand luggage spaces in the overhead compartment. When I get to my seat and try to put my stuff overhead, I'm like, WTF, the person two seats down stuffed their thing in my shiznit.

Also, the people that insist on taking your aisle seat just because they want to be with their family.a

@TheObserver: I hate those people. There is room in the overhead for 3 big carry ons, there is no reason you have to take up more space. I also dislike people who sit in the wrong seat on puropose then just look confused. If you want my seat, ask if ill switch, but dont assume I will. And people who bring on giant carry ons. Do you really need 4 changes of clothes on the flight? no. Check your damn luggage. I travel with a laptop size carryon. It hold a laptop, my cellphones, a book, my ipod, snacks, a drink, basically everything I could possibly need on a flight. There is no reason to carry more.

Hmmm.... "Farts belong in the toilet" is probably not practical in many instances. AFAIK, most aircraft are pressurized to a relative 5000 ft. atmosphere and gas expansion is going to happen. The longer the flight, the more desperate you're going to get to 'air out'. My flight instructors told us during our chamber rides to never hold in the flatulence or bad things might happen. Granted, we were also doing rapid decompression training so there was more of a reason to not keep the trapped air inside.

So, sure, make a quick trip to the lavatory for a toot if you can. If you find yourself getting up over and over, just let nature take its course and stay seated. I've taken more overseas flights than I can count and usually about 4 to 5 hours into the sortie, the 'leaning' begins... by everybody.

@UGAdawg: What's even worse, I WORK with a girl like that. In a tiny office. It drives me insane. I keep my headphones in even when I'm not listening to music in some ill-fated attempt to keep her from talking to me. She also has a wildly offensive personality and no tact whatsoever. And I'm pretty sure she thinks Glenn Beck communicates directly with God. It's terrifying.

@UGAdawg: I had an experience with a similar guy the last time I flew. I put on my headphones and acted like I was sleeping, but the guy would keep kneeing me (he spread his legs out and encroached on at least half a foot on what I consider my space) or poking me and talking. I thought he would get the hint after 3 or 4 times with no response from me, but after the 5th I had to give him the evil eye to get him to take a hint.

I think my guy was just a pervert though. He must have been at least 2-3 times my age and kept pestering me about my age and whether I was single or not (all while creeping into my personal space or trying to indirectly touch me)--so I didn't even get the chance to sleep. I had to stay awake just to make sure he wasn't going to try anything that would make me smack the snot out of him.

@TheObserver: That's why I think assigned seating is over rated. On a flight I took two days ago a lady was determined to sit next to her family member. I can understand this. It's nice sitting next to someone that can keep you company. I think this is where Southwest excels. You can sit next to whoever you want to and it's understood by everyone else that you can do so. However when everyone has assigned seating it can make what shouldn't be a big hoopla, a BIG hoopla. One seating change can cascade into big circus of seating changes. Plus it takes longer to seat everyone.

As for taking up the space of two luggage spaces, blame the airline for letting them through security with it. If it can fit then you must acquit.

My nightmares from this list:

- Air France flight from Chicago to Paris, and back later, it seems like every male in coach had to talk cross-cabin to each other. One guy stood up and went to talk to another guy sitting across the isle from my wife. He bent over to talk. Way over. Finally, I had to politely ask that he take his ass out of my wife's face.

- Business class Delhi to Chicago: Some guy who was actually too big for Biz seats ended up next to me. This guy fell asleep with his arms flayed across my seat. Well, he didn't sleep long.

- Coach class Paris to Athens: Some people seem to think it's a good idea to put their tray table down, and use it as a platform to lay their head upon whilst sleeping. Note to these people: your stupid head pushes into the back of the seat, moron. Sleep upright like the rest of us, dork.

@UGAdawg: @xtc46 - thinksmarter on twitter: I carry a bookbag, i.e., a Jansport backpack and check my clothes. Always. What happened was the popularization of the (slightly too big for every freaking passenger to have one and shaped unyieldingly so that you can't squish them in) rolling rectangle carry-on luggage. The last flight I was on someone jammed their luggage into the overhead too hard and broke the fluorescent light behind the carry on compartment, meaning an hour delay while they cleaned up the glass.

@UGAdawg: On a long flight (anything over a couple hours) I need an aisle seat so I can stand and stretch every now and then (blood clots). I've had people ask me to switch and I always say I can't and explain why. I've gotten looks like I drowned kittens in the toilet (which I may have done but not on the plane).

Flight from Europe and I got what must have been the last seat available, window in the last row. The two adjacent seats were taken by women who must have weighed well over 250 lbs. each and who smelled like goats. Neither one spoke a word of English (or at least pretended not to). Trying to get out to go the lavatory was impossible so I just crossed my legs and held on. Longest flight I ever had, relatively speaking.

@H3ion: you needing that spot is fine, but its your responsibility to arrage that, and you dont have a right to take it if you didnt reserve it. You can ask, and as you have in the past, people can refuse.

Im tall and like the ability to stretch my legs, so I wont switch with somone in the center on a long flight becasue it makes me very uncomfortable.

@xtc46 - thinksmarter on twitter: Sorry I wasn't clear. The aisle seat I sit in is assigned to me. I always ask for an aisle seat when reserving and have a physician's note to present if there's a question. I don't just plop my butt in someone else's seat but I re-read the post and it sounds like I was doing just that. My bad.

They forgot the one stating that just because the person next to you is of the opposite gender, it doesn't give you a right to endlessly flirt or even try to join the mile high club with them.*

*Worse flight ever.

@humphrmi: We flew coach from SFO-Beijing and I slept on the tray table. I really don't like sleeping on my back, which, in a seated position, is upright. So I used the table to approximate stomach sleeping. That was easily the best sleep I've ever gotten on a plane. Normally I can't manage more than 45 minutes at a time, but I was out for a few hours. It really is more comfortable for some people, as weird as it sounds.

However, we were in an exit row, so the table wasn't attached to the seat in front of me. I haven't done this in a regular row.

@xtc46 - thinksmarter on twitter: It all depends on when you book your flight on whether you can 'arrange' that. Sometimes you have to book last minute, say for a funeral. When that happens most of the seats have already been assigned and only the premium one's are available at a cost. They make it out to be such a big ordeal. I think anything behind first class should be first come first serve when checking in 24 hours prior to the flight. That's the least the airlines could do for those who have to take the 'walk of poverty' past those in first class. That way the sense of entitlement is no longer an issue. I've never had an issue with getting my prized window seat using that method. I have with assigned.

Feeding time? SEATS THE FUCK UP.

Even if it isn't required by the airline, just effing do it if you don't want my food in your hair.

@shepd: Agree, agree. Not having your seat up during the time which meals are served has to be one of the rudest things ever.

@ReidFleming: It's a great idea, really, but it just doesn't work that way. I have crohn's disease, and a symptom of it is, well, chronic flatulence. Sometimes it smells worse than others. Usually, I try to hold it best I can, but if it comes to getting the ulcers in my intestines worked up, I hate to say it, the gas has gotta go.

@TheObserver: When I travel, I check 1 bag, wear a vest-of-many-pockets, and my carryon amounts to a smallish backpack that fits easily under the seat ahead of me.

How some people can travel with so much junk in their carryons astounds me...I get that families with little kids need diaper bags and such, but the most egregious offenders I've seen are usually adults traveling alone.

@Snaptastic: I think the polite, direct approach would probably be called for rather than the hairy eyeball.

I don't understand why people don't smile nicely and say things like, "I don't mean to be rude, but I'm very tired and need to get some rest on this flight," and then close their eyes and ignore the other person until they give up.

The kneeing part though, well, I think you'd have to say, "excuse me, you probably don't realize this, but you've been bumping me with your knee and it's making it difficult to rest."

There's no need to rely on subtle cues and let your anger build up.

@sleze69: Definitely. I was on a flight once where the woman behind me got up every 10 minutes and yanked my seatback each time. And the seat was old and kind of loose, so it rattled and shook. Unpleasant.

@Difdi: Yeah...I hardly had to pack a thing before I travelled with a kid, and could always fit my one bag under the seat in front of me. I only started to have to deal with more when I had to have a carseat for my daughter, plus a diaper bag, plus baby food (not all airlines supply baby food anymore and she didn't get teeth until she was 16.5 months old, oi), plus enough new toys to minimize angst...egads it's a pain in the ass to fly with a kid. And then you get stinkeye every time the kid so much as whines, even though you're doing all of this crap to keep them happy and avoid upsetting others.

But even with my load of kid junk, we never go over the limit, and there's always that douchebag who has to try to cram some hard-shell giant suitcase into the teeny overhead space and you sit there wondering why you had to have your kid's carseat measured but that idiot apparently wasn't checked at all...

@ReidFleming: I guarantee you that little kids don't hold it in. Heck, the ones in diapers seem to get right into the spirit of things with constant explosive decompression of all sorts.

@BabyFirefly: Even better when they snarf down their meal at super-speed and THEN back up their seat so you get impaled with your tray mid-bite.

here are my additions.
1. If you are in the aisle and the person in the middle/window has to go to the loo, get the f up and let them out. Do not make me crawl on you. I don't want to put my ass in your face even if you want me to.
2. No you cannot put stuff, including your feet, in my leg room. If you fill up the entire space with your bags that don't fit up above, too bad, your feet have to be in your own space.
3. I know there is not much leg room and you like to air your junk. However, please don't sit with your legs at a 90 degree angle with one sticking into me.

@thesadtomato: Too ma@UGAdawg: Too much carry-on is a huge problem, and it's only getting worse now that many airlines are charging fees to check bags.

I travel a lot, and I try to chat with employees at check-in, at the gate, and on the plane about why nobody enforces the size and bag number limitations since it makes loading the plane a complete nightmare. I'm often one of the first people on the plane, and I've come to enjoy the schadenfreude when I see some chump with a bag the size of a VW Bug fighting his/her way back down the aisle (against the flow) to gate check the bag...

Nothing scientific, but it seems like the common them in what staff tell me is that people are generally assholes and get upset when they are told they need to pay to check a bag. It seems customers would prefer to suffer through long loading times and a luggage lottery of potentially having to gate check a bag (for which you generally don't pay) rather than acknowledge the problem and pay the fees.

So people who follow the rules get punished because the rules aren't enforced for everyone. Sadly, this is a pretty common occurrence ever since selfishness replaced civility as the predominant frame for social interaction in the US. I'm way too young to say this, but I kind of miss the good old days...

@ndonahue: I have preferred status so I don't get charged to check bags but I still try to avoid checking at all costs. Why? Because I don't like it when my bags get lost or crap gets stolen out of them. The thievery thing is even worse now that they cut locks off of luggage (that also goes for the "TSA approved" locks),

There is a zero percent chance of losing things if I carry on. Quite frankly, I would prefer to take all my bags to the plane itself, have it loaded there and picked up on the jetway after the flight.

I would have paid more attention had they used body-painted Kiwi flight attendants instead of a scruffy-looking guy. Just sayin'...

@Difdi: Word. This is because people don't want to check a bag and don't want to pay the fee to check one and they're all adults traveling alone with a big old rolling suitcase, because also, no one can carry their carry-on anymore.

@ndonahue: Also too young, also miss the good old days when no one brought anything more than a purse and a book on flight. People even dressed nicely to fly, like it was special.

Anyone ever notice that people will stow their carry-on bags and sit down, get situated... Then jump out of their seat to get something out of the bin. Not once but two or three times. I stow my bookbag and then have my purse and anything else I need, I have out and ready with me as I'm in line waiting for everyone to stow and go.

It really holds up boarding too when people can't get to their seats because people are busy rearranging their luggage contents in the overhead.

Oh and the people that wait until you are taxiing todo the same - or get up and talk to someone. Why can't people observe the simple instruction of remaining seated until they tell you otherwise?

@shepd: What if the person is asleep? Some people sleep right through meals. What to do then?

I also forgot to mention one they forgot: please be conscious of your body odor.

I've had both - sitting amidst people not wearing deodorant on a hot day/full plane while we sat on the tarmac taxiing for hours as well as sitting beside someone who's pores seemed to be releasing really strong bad smelling cologne.

Shower, wear deodorant, and don't bathe in your cologne/perfume as a substitute.

@sleze69: Losing your bag, and for those that travel frequently, the time to check a bag and to retrieve it from baggage claim (15-25 minutes waiting for your bag adds up when you are traveling 2 or more weeks a month). I generally travel with my laptop and one carryon bag that meets the size limitations. This bag holds everything that I need for a 3-4 day trip. Longer trips typically require a second bag which I will check.

@ShariC: If it's a creepy guy, the dirty look is probably all he'll understand. He'll take politeness as submission.

@chemmy:

Uh, the old ladies who mist the perfume on to the saturation point using one of those old timey purfume bottles with the squeeze bulb. It's the equivalent of sitting inside an Abercrombie and Fitch store for 4 hours.

@Difdi: I still travel for anything four days or less using only my battered old blue LL Bean backpack (from 1997).

Although you want to talk junk in a carry-on, funny thing, for my bridal shower my friends gave me a carry-on size suitcase, and also a bunch of other stuff, which I of course put in the suitcase to bring home with me... did you know that silicone spatulas look just like gigantic knives on an X-Ray? Now I do!

[flightsfromhell.com]

@chemmy: I have been on flights with several segments where I KNOW I smell, but there is nothing to be done about it! Flew once Chicago - LA - Hong Kong - Hiroshima, and having slept from LA - Hong Kong, I was sweaty and bad breathy before boarding for Hiroshima. On the way back, I brought a fresh t-shirt in my carry-on for the LA - Chicago bit, but sometimes, it's the best you can do.

@RecordStoreToughGuy_OwesNigeriaAnApology: They're even likelier to take silence as submission.

@Difdi: I guess that'd be me. I travel with a legal-sized rollaboard, and it's my only luggage, so yes, it carries more stuff. But it fits where it's supposed to, so I'm not feeling inclined to change the practice.

Hmm, I'd like to know what airline that is as those seats were roughly twice the size of the seat I had last time I flew.

@xtc46 - thinksmarter on twitter: I think part of the reason might be nervousness. Just a hunch but some people who might be nervous about flying might just want to talk more to get their minds off it. Doesn't help people who could care less and would just like to read during the trip.