Amazing Curtains Block More Than 100% Of Light, Create Singularity

Geoffrey went to Target in search of light-blocking curtains but when he got there, he found more. Ever so much more. Target now gives customers the tools to create a singularity in their very own homes.

Alert readers may notice that we have featured Eclipse curtains before. One of our readers complained that while the curtains promised to block “over 99%” of light, they really seem to “block out more like 2% of the light.”

However, since the laws of reality and mathematics do not apply inside Target stores, Eclipse has apparently developed special packaging for Target. This packaging boasts that the curtains now block more than 100% of light. Yes, they block light that isn’t even there.

Eclipse absolute zero curtains

Eclipse absolute zero curtains

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PREVIOUSLY: These Light Blocking Curtains Are Surprisingly Easy To Locate In The Daytime