The Conman Who Loved Me: Madoff Mistress Tells All
Sheryl Weinstein, Bernie Madoff's mistress, is making the rounds with her steamy, tell-all account of Bernie Madoff the love machine called "Madoff's Other Secret: Love, Money, Bernie, and Me" (the title beat out "Bernie Madoff Robbed and Sexed Me and All I Got was This Stupid Book Contract").
It's all about Madoff putting on the moves and making sweet, sweet love on the way to romancing the money out of Weinstein's bank account.
The New York Daily News quotes a couple intriguing passages from the book:
"... This man was not well-endowed," said Weinstein, who was once a top executive with the Jewish women's group Hadassah and lost her life savings with Madoff.
Despite the initial shock and disappointment, Weinstein said, billionaire Bernie turned her on in bed.
"When we made love, I was on fire," she said.
Finally, proof positive that size doesn't matter. That's a reference to investors being duped by the colossal size of Madoff's enterprise, nothing sexual. Get your minds out of the gutter.
Bernie Madoff wooed, then robbed me blind, ex-mistress Sheryl Weinstein claims in steamy book [New York Daily News]
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Comments:
"Despite the initial shock and disappointment, Weinstein said, billionaire Bernie turned her on in bed."
That must be some awful foreplay.
That's a mock-up of a cover, right? Please tell me no one actually designed and printed something that looks like it was made in MS Paint. I don't care if you have to lie to me.
"When we made love, I was on fire," she said.
Yeah, money will do that. I have to read this book, if only to find out if it was worth it to her, but in the Madoff spirit, I'll steal it (from somebody else, not from a store).
So THATS'S where the Kings of Leon got the idea.
@JulesNoctambule: Maybe they'll change the cover before press. But it's a real publisher and that's really how the cover appears on Amazon.
Sorry, too early in the day for good lying.
Size doesn't matter when you have billions of dollars.
"Bernie and I." Should be "Bernie and I."
Damn people, use proper grammar in your tell-alls. :P
LOL. From the article:
They dubbed Madoff "Winky Dink" because he constantly blinked his eyes nervously whenever she was around.
I bet there was another reason they called him that while they secretly snickered to one another.
The book wasn't called "Bernie Madoff Robbed and Sexed Me and All I Got was This Stupid Book Contract" because it didn't fit into the nice template of "Catchy Word: Longer Description of What This Book is Really About"
I miss books with real titles.
Every Billion in the bank adds 1 inch to the peen. Thats not just me talking... that science.
@Shadowman615: Blinking eyes like cocaine addict blinking or blinking eyes like I got something in my eyes blinking?
@Shadowfire: I think that's a list of subjects that the book covers: Love, Money, Bernie, and Me
So it's right.
That's actually correct as is. The "me" is part of a list; try it without the other items. It becomes "Madoff's Other Secret: Me." Clearly correct.
Also, while "Jon and I went to the mall," is correct, "She bought a gift for Jon and I" is not. In the latter sentence, "me" would have been the correct pronoun, because it functions as object and not subject.
Wealth: the best aphrodisiac.
Future News:
June 21 ,2159 -New York (AP)
Another Bernie Madoff "mistress" has come forward with a tell all book about the disgraced former financier/philanthropist's personal life behind bars.
Ernest "Skag" Purcell claims in a new Kindle volume that Madoff was "not well endowed" and that their personal relationship was strained as a result.
"Bernie turned me on and all that," Purcell said , " But his constant pursuit of snack bars and cigarettes left him very little time for love". "
Responding to questions about whether the steamy ,tell all Kindle was an attempt at revenge for Madoff's reported theft of the prison's supply of writing paper and art supplies ,Purcell refused to comment,saying only that Madoff should be remembered as a loving ,very loving ,caring man that "left a little piece of himself with every prisoner whose life he touched".
Madoff passed away last week at the age of 211 .Service arrangements are incomplete ,but involve champagne.
Too early in the day to think about this. Eeeewww. I'm not a particularly squeamish frog, but learning about Madoff's penis size before coffee is not how I normally want to start my day. Wow. Maybe I should just go back to bed.
A visual for everyone now trying to get the vision of naked bernie out of their mind: rush limbaugh in assless chaps. Come on now, I didn't say it was a good one, or original.
I love how being screwed over by a lover can revert even an otherwise classy and level-headed, accomplished high level executive back into a spiteful teenaged gossip.
More like "...Love, Money, Bernie in Me" am I right?!
"When we made love, I was on fire," she said.
Bernie Madoff sure had some weird-ass fetishes. I would never have sex with someone who's on fire.
i'd hit it if i got an old lady's life savings out it!
hell... i'd even put out the fire afterwards! hahaha
I am going to defend bernie against this wench.
I think she is saying the small comment to embarrass bernie. if not then why say it if he was able to set her on fire.
a woman that you really knocked out the sheets would simply say, damn he broke my kitty.
why does everyone feel the need to cash in on their 15 minutes of fame.
there are people that deserve fame for heroic things, here's to you captain sulley.
and there are people that really need to fade away, I'm looking at you DISGRACED congressman delay.
she got what soooooooooooooooooo many men have gotten over the years, screwed and f*cked and it cost her a lot of money. now she thinks she deserves to tell her story because it is compelling.
It is not compelling.
The compelling part is how a man could decimate his community, ruin his family legacy, ruin his sons future, all for the sake of what really turns out to be from his perspective, a few dollars.
GROSS. He's old and gross and greedy. No amount of money would do it for me. :P
Is it too much to hope that there's lots of picts of nakkid lovin' of the two lovebirds!
Anyone? ANYone?!
@Trai_Dep: Given their cultural backgrounds, is it safe to assume that oral was completely off the table?
@TinkishDelight: She did lose all her money in his investments--though I suspect she's more piqued that he didn't care for her enough to make her an exception.
@JulesNoctambule: Damn straight.
I'm holding out for one featuring Bernie in his sagging tighty-whities and black dress socks with those suspender-thingies. In a He-Man pose. Aroused!!
Hawt!
@subtlefrog: My morning stomach is still roiling from the briefs or boxers or "man-thong with sequined '$'s pattern" question.
"Weinstein, who is still married to her husband of 37 years, Ronald,.."
Paging Ronald Weinstein to the man-card revocation counter, Ron Weinstein to the man-card revocation counter please.
@Shadowfire: Well, we don't really know whether it should be "I" or "me," because we don't know whether they are subject or object. It could be, "This book is about Bernie and me," or it could be, "Bernie and I made sweet, sweet love, even though his thing was tiny, while he bilked me and others for billions LOL."
@Trai_Dep: Good god man!!!! Are you that twisted? Such an image should really only exist on Hollywood Blvd. And one of them should have a bodypainted price on their leg.
@Smashville: Rolling around in Billions of dollar bills might be quite the turn on.
Now we know where many of the Billions went. Can we peak at her Jewelry collection and bank accounts please?
@iancoleTX: Who knows, maybe he had his own alternate. Maybe he and Ruth Madoff were more than friends.
We'll never know, but she could have been paid a big sum of money to write this book, by Bernie himself. This helps fuel the argument and the defense that Ruth didn't know everything her husband was into, and therefore shouldn't be held liable for his actions and have all her stuff taken away.
Typical. Typical. Typical.
Bernie tongued the front entrance and the back entrance.
BRB, vomiting forever
Madoff Fallout? How about "Tuesday Morning Nightmare Fuel!"?