Scammers Get Over-Ambitious With Fake FBI Letter
We guess if you're gonna create a failure pile, make it a big one. This email that pretends to be from FBI director Robert S. Mueller has the typical scammy touches: strange grammatical issues, unexpected shifts between formal and casual voices, a complete lack of understanding of how US government offices actually work, and an "official" gmail address. We were ready to send our information to them until we got to the end, where the letter threatens you with arrest if you don't play along. Now they're just getting silly.
For your late night amusement, here is the full text of the email that was sent to Taylor earlier this evening (never mind the strange date that indicates this email won't exist until either this September or December):
[Washington Field Office Banner with FBI Seal linking to FBI Home]
Anti-Terrorist and Monitary Crimes Division.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION.
J. EDGAR. HOOVER BUILDING WASHINGTON D.C
12/09/2009ATTENTION: beneficiaries,
We received an email, Just to let you know that the said fund has been confirmed in your name, the funds are right now in our custody in your name waiting to be release to you, we have verified and investigated that you are the right beneficiary to claim the funds, all we need from you is verification and proof due to the amount involved.
As a biggest security company here in Washington D.C we are to serve and to protect our citizen. The only advice we can give to you as at this time is to try your best to comply with the required document so that your funds will be release to you in your favor, this funds are rightfully yours. You can obtain the document from our branch Office in New Jersey.
We have done our verification on your FBI Identification Record with our Social Security Number, the only document remaining now is the Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer(DIST) Which should be issued to you from our branch Office in New Jersey, you are to contact the Federal Bureau Of Investigation (FBI) New Jersey to obtain the above required document, find bellow their contact email address: ( fbi.vision2020@gmail.com) Contact this people immediately to obtain the document.
Furthermore, be advice that according to the United State Law and also the FBI rules and regulations, you are to obtain the document from the FBI in New Jersey where the fund was transferred to. Also Note that you are to take care of the Document to be issued to you right away, because due to how important and secured the document is, it is not issued just like that. You are to take care of the document by sending to the FBI New Jersey right away,That is the only way the FBI New Jersey will issue you the document, because they are going to issue you the Authentic/Original copy of the document.
You are here by advice to Contact them through the email address above to acquire from them on how you are going to send the fee to them. Note that you are to do this immediately if you really want your fund to be credited to your account and also if you don't want any action to be before you. We have already informed the New Jersey FBI about the present situation, so go ahead and contact them immediately. Your fund is now on our custody and will only be release to you with the confirmation of the required document. After that the fund will be release to you immediately without any delay.
NOTE: We have asked for the above documents to make available the most complete and up-to date records possible for no criminal justice purposes.
WARNING: Do not fail to produce the above requirement in the next 72 hours, legal action will be taken immediately by arresting and detaining you, justificated and if found guilty, you will be jailed. As terrorism, drug trafficking and money laundering is a serious problem in our community today. The F.B.I will not stop at any length in tracking down and persecuting any criminal who indulge in this criminal act.
Faithfully Yours,
FBI Director
Robert S. Mueller, III
(Photo: faeryboots)
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Comments:
It's a pretty sad effort, but even so, I'm sure some people will fall for it, and I'm also expecting to see it sooner or later on our local TV news (the Fox affiliate that only covers crime stories).
Any fool who falls for this deserves to be parted from their money.
"justificated" is my new favorite word.
'The F.B.I will not stop at any length in tracking down and persecuting any criminal who indulge in this criminal act.'
Oh the ironing.
I wonder if Mr. Mueller knows Barrister Philip J. Mugu at the FBI's office in Lagos, Nigeria?
I sent the gmail a "friendly" reminder to grow up, it didn't bounce back. Have fun ;)
Gist: "We will arrest you if you don't come claim the money we have for you!"
That's retarded even for nigerians.
10 bucks to whoever baits and strings them along.
"our social security number"
so glad i finished my milk already or the numerous spelling and sentence structure errors would have had me spitting it out my nose.
thanks for the important warning, i might have fallen for this most serious of our scam and been persecuted and jailed.
now excuse me please while i check to make sure no one catches me in the criminal act of laundering that dollar bill i forgot to take out of my jeans before throwing them in the wash...
Wait... this is a scam?
I got this email a few days ago and wired them 1000 dollars and in return I got a check coming for 10000.
Sadly, there are people who would fall for this. Nevermind that they should realize any and all federal/state fees are described to them via federal mail, and they have to go to a specific government building to pay it.
My inner monologue read this in the voice of Lance Reddick, from Fringe, the Wire, Lost. Hilarious.
This should be forwarded to the FBI. It violates a shocking number of laws including impersonation of a government official, fraud, and making threats. I don't think it quite reaches the level of a terroristic threat but it definitely qualifies as extortion.
The voice in my head exploded trying to read that shit.
Can anybody define "justificated" for me? I had this flash of a dark prison communal shower.
"find bellow their contact email address: ( fbi. vision2020@gmail.com) Contact this people immediately"
I wonder how long it takes to put these finely worded notifications together. Picturing half a dozen grinning cretins hunched over a card table with a laptop and a few dog-eared translation dictionaries. Wisdom is repeatedly shared and debated until all finally agree that the email is perfect.
They must get plenty of reply emails each time telling them that they're total illiterate morons (vs. the occasional bite from a US moron), but their letters never improve. Unbelievable.
Just so we're all on the same page here, what document exactly are they looking for here? And what the hell would they do with it??? I'm trying to find the angle here, but I think it's probably one of the more minor things lost in translation.
I actually had one of these morons send me a .bmp made in MS Paint of a 'letter' from the IRS directing me to send money to the scammer... and telling me of the damage I am doing to the economy by failing to send the money.
And I put Robert S. Mueller, III on my buddy list.
@wvFrugan:
I'm sure that these bozo's will be doing alot of "ironing" in prison. Irony, gotta love it!
I would like to power to set scammers on fire with my mind. If I have to stand outside in a thunderstorm, I'll do it.
@TheUncleBob: Seriously. The amount of publicity to these scammers when it's so obviously a scam, should dissuade ANYONE from falling for this. Regardless of which medium a person follows, nobody has an excuse NOT to know about this. Just let it be a pricy lesson in having a modicum of situational awareness, and be done with it. I like that Consumerist posts these for the humor aspect, but I DO get tired of people commenting on someone they know fell for it. Good for them. That'll learn 'em!
@DovS: I don't think the grammatical structure of anything in that email is logical enough to be able to be considered anything as focused as extortion.
I got "come to the FBI location in NJ to collect money or you will be arrested for money laundering" out of it.
@catastrophegirl: Destroying or defacing money is a crime. I've reported you to the FBI, the biggest security company in Washington DC.
sooo...these funds are "rightfully" mine, but if i don't pick them up i'll be criminally prosecuted.
well now, that doesn't sound like much of a right at all...
@VotaIdiota: They are asking for "Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer(DIST)". What they really want is either:
A) A Western Union transfer for the fees for this document (least likely)
or
B) Your full name, date of birth, address, SSN, mother maiden name, and CC information to pay for it. (most likely)
They will then use this CC info to try and buy something and have the merchant send the "shipping fees" to a third party shipping company by Western Union. Which they then claim at the local Nigerian WU office.
@TheUncleBob: I wouldn't be so quick to judge. Someone who doesn't speak English well could miss the grammatical and spelling errors, and not have access to the same media content you watch (American News shows, Consumerist, etc.).
Do you think they should be parted from their money as well?
@VotaIdiota: It's an important and secured document. They don't release it just like that, you know!
How hard is it for these scammers to find an accomplice in the US or Canada who could proofread these for them? I mean, it can't be hard to find a broke American college student to rewrite this for $100. I just don't understand why they don't employ American accomplices to do their writing.
@eddieck:
There's also the word "justificated" near the end of it.
I got a similar one & forwarded it to all my friends who also get a laugh at these ridiculous scams.
Why New Jersey?
I guess they read about the organ theft arrests & figured that NJ was so corrupt that people would go for it there.
Lucky for me they haven't heard that Illinois is ten times as corrupt as NJ, we just don't have the promotional power of the New York Post to make fun of us!
@GitEmSteveDave_DeathPanelist: That's a good audition monologue. If you added crying to it to show your full range of emotional tools. #actingadvice
@techstar25: Seriously, as much as Americans love working, you'd think they could have roped a freelance copywriter into helping them for a pittance.
*not being sarcastic, I think Americans *do* love working
@nstonep: That's the funniest part IMO. If you don't come get the money, you will be arrested because obviously then you must be a drug trafficker, terrorist, and money launderer!
Also funny is how they mentioned the branch office in New Jersey about 6 times. Just so you don't forget - it's New Jersey!
This is legit - it's just that since it comes from THE FUTURE (12/09/2009), we're not yet aware of the changes to the structure of our government agencies and our manner of formal speaking. But we will be in less than 4 months apparently!
Love the misspelling of "monetary" as well as the reference to "biggest security company." I wasn't aware the FBI is a "security company" instead of a government agency. :P