It Depends On What The Meaning Of "All" Is
This looks like a great place to find good deals—except when it's not. Derek, who snapped the photo in his mall over the weekend, notes that "At least they made sure the disclaimer was large enough for all to see."
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Comments:
@Moosenogger: I think they were too busy picking out horrible fonts to think about the message much.
'All items on sale except the ones that aren't' would be more concise.
I guess if people didn't respond to these idiot signs the stores wouldn't put them out .
@Oranges w/ Cheese - now with 50% more kitty!: The sysadmin and a couple of profs at my university used to use that term. The reactions to their usage varied from instant lulz to spontaneous freakouts.
It actually depends on which store's name has been reduced to "The Store." I know consumerist joked about the container store having a shortened name. Did it actually happen?
Perhaps they don't mean store as in storefront, but instead mean store as in storage. It's kinda pirate jibber-jab, but it's just as stupid
@korin43: Over half of store items 50% off today only.*
*50% of store stock plus that nasty pair of underwear returns are on sale at greatly reduced prices. We could have just made everything 25% off and called it even, but this way you need to root through everything and you'll probably buy a bunch of crap you didn't need and think you got a deal. As long as you think you got a deal we have a really nice pair of men's tighty-whities for you....
Some exclusions MAY apply? Does that mean sometimes they apply and other times they don't? That's such a soft way of trying to say what they mean.
Reminds me of the "Nothing Over $1 Store" near me that stuck a TINY round ".25¢" sticker after the "$1" on their humongous sign and then raised every price in the store by $.25.
@MostlyHarmless: I started saying "lawl" out loud when I began dating my boyfriend and it's just kinda stuck.
It Depends On What The Meaning Of "All" Is
Sorry to be "that guy," but couldn't this just as easily hinge on the meaning of "Items," "in," "$10.99 - 14.99," and/or "less"?? Or even just the existential nature of our being and the yardstick with which we use to measure "reality"? ( -- however the concept of "reality" may be loosely defined?)
@dialing_wand: Actually are items in the store are on sale at various prices. If they weren't, it wouldn't be a store.
Ok, here's a pet peeve with regards to store signs: "Special." As in the sign is placed in every box of fruit or vegetables at the front of the fruit store. If the everyday price is x, then it's no longer 'special.'
And as someone mentioned in a previous column about the phrase "on sale" maybe they mean that items are offered for sale.
Save up to 75% or more!
@dwb: I think what they mean is that exclusions apply if today is a weekday or the weekend and the earth is still round and spinning. Too many words to fit on the sign, so they abbreviated it.
I've always hated when a company says "ALL ITEMS ON SALE!" and then in fine print denotes all the brands which are not. Yeah, you know who I'm talking to, Macy's.
@Moosenogger: The ones that get me are "You can save/make up to $_____ OR MORE!" - doesn't really say anything when you actually read it.
@Cliff_Donner:
You almost made my head explode, my anal retentive qualities would not allow me to look away. I use to be you, before my mind gave up on me.
@almightytora: Yeah well would you go into the store if they said "Only these items are on sale"? You maybe, but the tree stump-intelligence general public would avoid it because it doesn't sound good. Isn't there an unwritten rule that you don't advertise a "negative" in large type (only in small print)?
I prefer the 99 cents only stores to get my cheap badly made chinese crap (love those "garbage bags"). Hey wait...that's false advertising, it's actually 99.9 cents per pregnancy test, imitation cologne, mexican tomatoes, can of spam, shasta cola, whiteout tape refill, men in black 2 vhs, and dvd copy of inuyasha.
Things to note: There's actually a lot of dandy stuff in 99cents only stores, I was just pointing out some unhappy stuff and stuff you shouldn't use if you value your life and/or sanity. 12 pack of dollar store condoms...probably not a good idea folks.
@Cliff_Donner: The headline was a callback to Clinton's tortured examination of the meaning of "is."
I believe Ann Taylor does something like this. There is a big sign that you see once you come in that items are 50% off but once you get to the rack, everything is only 10% off. they throw 1 thing in there that's 50% off and that makes the sign legit. Kinda annoying.
@bravo369: Oh, and then you look at the sign and it says 'up to' in small letters which is why the sign is legit even though barely anything is 50% off
@catnapped: have you ever seen a macy's coupon or sales ad? the top part is the Sale 50% off... the other 2/3 of the page are the exclusions, in a font so small you need a magnifying glass. One look at it and you know there's four items in the entire store that the coupon/sale actually applies to.
@EdnaLegume: JC Penney is the same way. Without fail, whenever I try to use a coupon on something, it just so happens that it doesn't apply.
@nybiker: Reminds me of a time when the waitress in the store told our group about "Today's special is xxx" and then looked at me like I was deranged when I asked how much that was off the regular price.
You could get the same item every day of the week. It was even listed in the menu for the exact same price as the flyer calling it a "Special".
@Tonguetied: Just to be pedantic replace "the waitress in the store" with "the waitress in the restaurant" though I could be even more pedantic and just consider a restaurant a special kind of store...
These "sales" always make me chuckle. Why even waste the sign space to say "All items on sale!" when it's not true? Just say, "Many items on sale!" and the disclaimer spot for something worthwhile.