Must..not..correct..vampires..playing..baseball..reference..cannot..reveal..fangirlyness.

they cannot falsely claim that they are attorneys

I wonder how long that's been in the books. I got a few notices from a "law office" a few years ago about some outstanding parking tickets I had for the city of Chicago.

I think I read later that the same collection service was involved in some corruption scandal, and had had their contract terminated with the city.

That's when I knew the notices were legit, and not junk mail :)

@rpm773:

They could very well have actually been lawyers.

@pecan 3.14159265: I know, I am holding back right now. Also a new trailer for New Moon is coming out this Friday.

Ugh I am ashamed of my taste in books/movies.

I'm confused...the article title says they are ninjas, but goes on to explain they share similarities with vampires. Although a vampire ninja would definately be pretty cool, debt collectors cannot be a vampire nor a ninja, because debt collectors are not cool.

There are LOTS of legal firms that specialize in debt collection.

@rpm773: I actually learned from an episode of Cold Case Files or Forensic Files or something on A&E that police officers cannot pretend to be lawyers in the process of apprehending a criminal. The case involved a guy who was suspected of murder, and he had moved across the country. The police needed to get a DNA sample but didn't have the money to fly out there and take something from his trash can, and they couldn't outright ask him because if he was the guy, he'd get tipped off that they were onto him. So they sent him a fake letter about a class action lawsuit regarding his parking tickets from when he was in their city (real parking tickets, they had access to the info) and they figured that he'd have to lick the envelope to send his information back to them.

The prosecution got the evidence to stay in court because the police had sent out the letter under the auspices of a fake law firm, but were not pretending to be lawyers because they had never filed any kind of legal document.

@pecan 3.14159265: Careful, if you bottle all frustration up you'll end up giving birth to a half-breed mongrel monster.

@Dabby: +that

I've found that the best way to deal with debt collectors is to counter every question they ask you with a question of your own.

The first apartment complex I rented in tried to collect thousands of dollars of completely fabricated debt (this is a very shady place). They broke many laws in contacting me, including repeatedly calling me at work after I informed them it was my work number and not to call, and contacting my supervisor and trying to get information about me from him. After speaking with a local advocacy group, I wrote them a detailed letter outlining each law they'd broken. I haven't heard from them in six years.

@rpm773: It's very possible that a law firm was contracted to collect parking ticket fines. It may be a law firm that only takes collection cases, but if it's structured as a law firm and has attorneys on staff, it's legit.

Also, IANAL, but I'm not sure all the same rules apply when it's a government debt being collected (like back taxes or unpaid fines), as opposed to a private debt.

@me and the sysop: The FDCPA only applies to third-party collection agencies, not the original creditor. Therefore, assuming the alleged debt was valid (and from your description, I gather it wasn't), I believe they'd have the right to do that.

@Dabby: More like, a half-breed mongrel monster will rip her way out of your abdomen, then...ah crap, shouldn't spoil it for anyone still reading...

Edward, though, holds off on vampiring her, not because he's chivalrous, nor because he's afraid he'll violate a statutory rape law that disallows 107-year-olds from romancing girls of 17, but because I think he'd like to spend a few decades with her, throw a nice Christian funeral, and then, you know, be single again.

That sir, is the best part of this article. Hats off to you Phil.

@pecan 3.14159265: So what exactly is the correct reference?

@Meggers: Pshaw! I'm not! I embrace it, and wave off detractors. I love science fiction and comic books and I've already spent most of my life steeped in nongeeks looking at me like I've got some flesh disease because of my taste in entertainment (hint: The Wire, awesome. Gossip Girl, blegh) so I'm not concerned about liking these books and the reaction I face.

I'm getting screwed at the other end. I am a small business owner and have a few small accounts way past due. I tried my best to collect what is owed to me with no luck, so I decided to look up a debt collection agency online. What a mistake. I was scammed by USAcreditrecovey.com (Ficka & Associates). They are supposed to send me 70% of what is collected, and a monthly report. Four months later, I haven't received any account updates, or money even though I know they have received some of my money. Its become a joke trying to call them, every single day they have an excuse why they can't give me an update. I've come to terms I've been scammed, and I've sent complaints to the Attorney General of Florida. They have an F rating from the BBB already. (I should have checked before I started with them... 20/20 hindsight). Anything else I can do to put these crooks out of business?

@MostlyHarmless: haven't seen "Twilight", but I don't need to because of this (Everything you need to know about Twilight in 4 frames):

[imgur.com]

I've had collections from Capital One calling me constantly for the past few weeks. I knew it was a wrong number because, one, I'm good on my account, and two, I don't speak Spanish. I would constantly get calls around 8:30 in the morning, even on Sunday with the callers speaking Spanish. When I couldn't understand them, they would just hang up. I Google'd the numbers and found it was Capital One. Luckily a few days ago one of the callers spoke so-so English and I was able to explain I don't know so-and-so (couldn't understand the name) and that I don't speak Spanish. Thankfully I haven't heard from them in a few days now, so hopefully that's over. I wouldn't know what to do though if it was some 3rd party debt collection service with a wrong-number wrong-language situation. Learn to speak it? Hire someone who does?

@MostlyHarmless: When they played baseball, there was no glittering because they had to play during a storm (no sun) because they needed lightning to disguise the boom of the bats hitting the baseballs.

@pecan 3.14159265: Oops. Lightning and thunder.

@pecan 3.14159265: Wow, you're more of a fangirl than I am...I didn't even remember that they played in a storm...

No shame, though! heh.

@NeverLetMeDown: It's possible, but with it being Chicago I think a corruption scandal is more likely.

@Saboth: They must be Whedonverse vampires, who all magically know martial arts.

I'm an IT developer for the debt industry

Harassment: Calling you multiple times a day, so long as they are not calling you in quick succession is not considered harassment - they are calling about a valid debt and are protected under law

Cease and Desist - Collectors are only required to stop contacting you if they get it in writing - a fax at minimum, ideally get registered mail, e-mail doesn't work, verbally telling them to stop calling for any reason other than "my employer does not allow calls" is ignored. Be wary of actually sending a cease and desist, see next point:

Attorneys - Many collection agencies utilize multi-tiered collections, if they cannot get the money through calling or they receive a cease and desist, they will often escalate to the next level and sue you with on staff lawyers - regular agents are allowed to threaten you with legal action so long as they follow through with it 25% of the time.

Debt collectors ARE allowed to call your family, friends, co-workers and neighbors in most states on a whim - caveat: they are only to ask for information that would help them contact you and not allowed to state they are debt collectors unless explicitly asked and are only allowed to contact them once

My advice: work something out with them, dont stick your head in the sand and let them sue you into oblivion - if you are way in over your head and you see no way to pay back the money, you are bankrupt and should delcare bankruptcy - you'll recover your credit faster

@TinkishDelight: In Chicago, it's a scam operation unless the obligatory corruption scandal eventually comes to light :)

Not to toot my own horn but I've figured out that the best way to get the bastards to stop calling is to pay off (legitimate) debts.

I have one collection left, $288, hopefully they will take $100 and close the account.

WOW Consumerist you WAYYYYY over generalized on the Interest thing, here is what the article said;

"Unfair practices - Debt collectors may not engage in unfair practices when they try to collect a debt. For example, they may not try to collect any interest, fee, or other charge on top of the amount you owe unless the contract that created your debt - or your state law - allows the charge; deposit a post-dated check early; take or threaten to take your property unless it can be done legally; or contact you by postcard."

If its allowed by law they can indeed charge interest and if its in the contract you entered into they can then as well. Way to give out bad information!

@Saboth: In Blade II, there were vampire ninjas. Well, they were vampires, but were extremely silent and stealthy like ninjas. And had swords.

@PunditGuy: I don't think Harmony knew martial arts, unless hair pulling counts.

@insaneferret: Where did these guidelines come from? Citation please.

I'm in first-party collections with a big bank, and Insaneferret is on the money with his remarks, as is The Cheat. The best way to stop the calls on legitimate debts, if you can't just pay it off or settle the debt, is to at least make partial payments. If the eople calling can do payments by phone, do it through them, and postdate it if they'll let you - this will stop the calls until after the payment clears, then set up another payment

@katstermonster: I only read the books for the first time a few months ago, so it's all fresh.

@CrowMignon:

From the FDCPA...

Harassment-- Causing a telephone to ring or engaging any person in telephone conversation repeatedly or continuously with intent to annoy, abuse, or harass any person at the called number.

Cease and Desist-- "CEASING COMMUNICATION. If a consumer notifies a debt collector in writing that the consumer refuses to pay a debt or that the consumer wishes the debt collector to cease further communication with the consumer, the debt collector shall not communicate further with the consumer with respect to such debt..."

Location information-- Any debt collector communicating with any person other than the consumer for the purpose of acquiring location information about the consumer shall-
(1) identify himself, state that he is confirming or correcting location information concerning the consumer, and, only if expressly requested, identify his employer;
(2) not state that such consumer owes any debt;
(3) not communicate with any such person more than once
unless requested to do so by such person or unless
the debt collector reasonably believes that the earlier
response of such person is erroneous or incomplete and
that such person now has correct or complete location
information;

@pecan 3.14159265:
They should rename the the movie to "The Continuing Misadventures of Edward the Glittery, Emo Vampire."

Personally, I was simply polite and honest with my debt collectors. I went through a bad spell (who hasn't recently) and got quite a few calls. Chase was the most polite, and Wells Fargo was the worst.

For rude callers or ones that tried to intimidate me, I told them I was hanging up and did so. The calls did get distracting, and I was called at work several times. My wife began ignoring toll-free numbers and repetitive callers.

I forwarded all my unanswered calls to Grand Central (now Google Voice) and filtered collectors that way. The few that got through I was polite with.

Glad that's behind us!

@insaneferret: The non-exhaustive list of prohibited and required conduct under the FDCPA is on the FTC website (PDF), and wikipedia. One of the relevent portions:

(5) Causing a telephone to ring or engaging any person in telephone conversation repeatedly or continuously with intent to annoy, abuse, or harass any person at the called number.

When a debt collector falsely targets you for a debt that is not yours, you have NO RECOURSE at all. That's when it gets scary.

@The Cheat: Just be sure to get it in writing. And don't forget to ask that it be removed from your credit report (again, get it in writing).

@Red_Eye: Yes! When will the consumerist get it right and completely reproduce the original articles so that we don't have to click-through to another website?!

@DoktorH: I think it's a bit of a no-brainer to say that the best way not to get collections calls is not to have a debt in collections.

Also a no-brainer is to pay off legitimate debt.

@DoktorH: Yes, but sometimes you're stuck with calls about illegitimate debt. That can range from a disputed account, or even calls for someone you don't know. I get calls for whoever had my cell number previously, and I'm glad I know about the C&D letter.

@Trencher93:

Sure you have recourse. Ask the collector on the phone for an address where you can mail a cease and desist and/or dispute letter. Mail said letter via registered mail. Once receipt of the letter is confirmed, log all further calls (if they occur) and sue them for harassment.

If the debt is not yours, they will look mighty stupid if they sue you. Which they probably won't since their lawyers will quickly notice the error and dump the case.

My wife got a letter from a debt collection agency located in NYC for some ancient debt (btw, most of the scummy ones are in NYC, and call all over the US). The letter was from supposed lawyer at a law firm. So we investigate the guy and his business. It is a debt collection agency, and we could find absolutely nothing about him passing a bar exam, as he wasn't registered anywhere to practice law, as far as we could tell.

@SynMonger:

Repeatedly or continuously - I stated they are not allowed to call you in quick sucession, making the phone ring repeatedly.

Collectors are not calling with INTENT to annoy, abuse or harass - they are calling to collect on a legitimately owed debt, they really are not interested in your feelings, only your money

"When a debt collector falsely targets you for a debt that is not yours, you have NO RECOURSE at all. That's when it gets scary. "

No sir, you have very good recourse, just tell them that you are contesting the validity of the debt and requesting proof that it is owed as stipulated by the FDCPA

If they are calling you for someone else and have a bad number, just ask to speak to a manager and explain that its the wrong number, or send a cease and desist letter/fax, or find out the name of the agency and call the main number and ask for the compliance/complaints department and get your number removed

@insaneferret: Ha, easier said than done. When the debt gets resold (and most of these do), a lot of times the new collector gets all of the old info (corrected or not).

@HRHKingFridayXX:

Under the FDCPA a collector must provide you with the original creditor's information so that you may follow up with them to confirm that it has indeed been sold

in such cases you just need to be aware of the statute of limitations, if you havent paid anything for several years they cannot collect - just submit a Cease and desist

@acasto: "No es el numero correcto."

By the way, get used to the calls. I'm constantly getting debt collection calls for people I've never heard of who share my (extremely common) last name. In English or Spanish, "You have the wrong number" seems to translate to "Call again in a few days/weeks/months." Unplug or turn off your phone on Friday and Saturday nights if you want to sleep in.