Top 10 Ironic Ads From History
Remember when you could buy barbiturates for the baby? Cover your house with asbestos? Or get heroin from the doctor? Okay, probably not, but thanks to the immortal beauty of advertising, you can take a trip back in time. Here's our pick of some of the most ironic ads in American history.
UNION CARBIDE
"Science helps build a new India"
Ah, the innocent days before a Union Carbide plant in India obliterated everyone in sight. In 1984, Union Carbide's plant in Bhopal released 42 tons of toxic gas into the air, ultimately killing about 25,000 people. The stench of this "new India" remains to date, in fact, as the Yes Men have duly pointed out.
(Image via Copyranter)
CORVAIR (1960)
The Corvair in action!
Impaling drivers with steering wheels!
Leaking oil!
Spiraling out of control!
You may remember the Corvair as the focus of Ralph Nader's classic book Unsafe at Any Speed. (This, before Nader had grown senile and was busy saving the country from itself.) If your family had a Corvair and didn't die in it, please be sure to go on about that in comments because that disproves everything. Considered one of TIME's 50 Worst Cars of All Time.
ASBESTOS (1981)
"When life depends on it, you use asbestos"
Okay, sure, when you need to get out of a burning building fast, asbestos may give you a few extra minutes. But you better be wearing a respirator because when that fucker collapses, that asbestos is getting in your lungs, where it will fester for years before killing you mercilessly. (Wait, did we mention 9/11?)
(Image via Copyranter)
DISTAVAL (Thalidomide), circa 1960
"This child's life may depend on the safety of Distaval"
Who says advertising doesn't tell the truth? Sadly, this slogan was more true than anyone expected at the time. Distaval was a brand name for thalidomide, a drug that causes serious birth defects. Think flipper babies and death. This sedative-hypnotic, commonly prescribed to stressed-out moms, was advertised as "especially suitable for infants" as well. (On a side note, am I sick for longing for the days when it was okay to sedate your baby?)
(Image via Bonkers Institute)
DuPONT'S CELLOPHANE BABIES
Parents who tired of drugging their babies could always turn to cellophane to keep them quiet. Permanently quiet, in fact. In 1959, Life and other media sources scared readers with "the latest household peril" — plastic dry cleaning bags — so we're betting this ad dates prior to that.
(Image via Copyranter)
DUTCH BOY LEAD PAINT
"Where your dream house comes true, don't let cheap paint make it a nightmare!"
You want to hear my nightmare? How about spending nearly a year stripping lead paint in my dream home, wearing a gas mask and gloves and keeping the bedroom in lockdown so that toxic dust and muck doesn't spread everywhere?
BAYER HEROIN
Not only did Bayer once own the trademark on Heroin, it promoted it to doctors as a non-addictive substitute for morphine. For a while, doctors took the bait. "It possesses many advantages over morphine," wrote the Boston Medical and Surgical Journal in 1900. "It's not hypnotic, and there's no danger of acquiring a habit." The American Medical Association approved the use of heroin in 1906, but by then the "junkies" foraging scrap metal to feed their habit were getting hard to avoid. Bayer stopped making heroin in 1913 when prohibition seemed inevitable, and its use without a prescription was banned in the US the following year.
How Aspirin Turned Hero [Sunday Times, September 13, 1998]
JAMES DEAN'S "SAFE DRIVING" PSA
JAMES DEAN'S "SAFE DRIVING" PSAWhen it first released Rebel Without A Cause, Warner Brothers was concerned that kids would ape James Dean's character and wind up driving off cliffs. (A problem, of course, because the kids' relatives would likely sue the company.) To distance themselves from copycat incidents preemptively, Warner Brothers had Dean film this public service announcement urging kids to "Take it easy driving out there. The life you save might be mine." Alas, the clip was never used because Mr. Dean was killed in his speeding Porsche shortly before the movie was released.
As predicted, a number of teens copied Dean's "chicken" game and died while racing over cliffs. (Boston Globe, October 20, 1993)
THE FORD PINTO
"The little carefree car"
Carefree? Hardly. Ford's Pinto was designed in such a way that rear-end collisions could cause the car to catch fire and blow up. An internal memo revealed that Ford execs were well aware of the problem, but determined not to fix it. Why? Ford's cost-benefit analysis showed that paying off potential law suits from deaths was cheaper than a redesign. Another one of the TIME's 50 Worst Cars.
CAMELS
"More doctors smoke Camels..."
Ironic old cigarette ads are a dime a dozen but we figured we should include at least one, if for no reason than to call this post an even 10.
That's all. Thanks.
Carrie McLaren & Jason Torchinsky are coeditors of Ad Nauseam: A Survivor's Guide to American Consumer Culture. In previous lives, they worked together on the hopelessly obscure and now defunct Stay Free! magazine .
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Comments:
We have T-zones now? Unfortuntately this is the kind of science we have lost in the past 50 years.
Believe it or not, I don't think I'm ready to laugh about the World Trade Center attacks just yet.
The heroin ad reminds me of a passage in the book "The road to Wellville" Back then, a company (I think it was Sears) sold a mail-order alcohol addiction remedy that was opium. They also sold a cure for the opium that was grain alcohol.
IIRC, Thalidomide has been re-introduced into the market, though not for pregnant women.
And I really like that color on the Pinto, but, is that baby naked?
@Bryan Fernandez: sad isn't it. But I assure you with proper government funding I will do everything I can to bring back this lost science.
'Mr. Dean was killed in his speeding Porsche shortly before the movie was released.'
The analysis of the accident says Dean wasn't speeding. It was the other drivers fault. Highway head-ons are always serious.
My father's first car was a Corvair... and he's still around.
@600Followers_GitEmSteveDave: Did they drive to the field with a naked baby, or did they remove the clothes once they got there and are now leaving?
Good thing about transporting a baby in a Pinto would be that you don't have to worry about a child seat being that you will all die in the wreck any way.
@600Followers_GitEmSteveDave: I didnt notie it at first but after further review id say there is definately butt crack there.
@Cant_stop_the_rock: Well they are saying the ad is ironic not funny, but the copy next to the ad does seem like a lame attemp at humor. Actually its so badly written I cant really tell what their intent was.
They should have depicted the doctor smoking a cigarette during the examination.
Here here! I just came in to make the same point. The driver coming the other was crossed the center when blinded by the sun.
Tired of people giving J-dog and his 550 a bad name...
"flipper babies"
I know how terrible that is but I couldn't stop laughing for two or three minutes.
drugging the baby reminds me of the old joke where the new mother tells her doctor thank you 'cause those tranquilizers are miracle drugs until the doctor explained, "no, no, they're for YOU to take, not the kids!"
@sharkd: For comparison's sake, my mother's first car was a 1967 Galaxie 500 with a 390 V8.
My first car was a 1965 Mustang 289 3-spd convertible. Wild guess who I take after...
If your family had a Corvair and didn't die in it, please be sure to go on about that in comments because that disproves everything.
...but ...but i like presenting anecdotes as evidence...
Fun article, but damn, next time try proofreading.
"Ah, the innocent days before a Union Carbide plant in India killed obliterated everyone in sight."
"You want a hear my nightmare?"
The best ironic cigarette ad I saw featured John Wayne for KOOLs. "Guard against throat scratch" by smoking the mentholated brand. Wayne eventually lost one lung to cancer.
What about AIDS? Just before Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome became well known a company coined an AIDS acronym for their diet product. (At least that's what I think it was.) Needless to say when HIV/AIDS started to panic people the AIDS diet product was quickly tossed to the scrap heap.
I worked for DOW for a while, they actually have a very legitimate point when they say they're not responsible for the Bhopal incident...
My family had a Pinto stationwagon back in the day. My mom tells stories of me as a 2 year old walking around the back of the car while my dad drove around town. Fun times.
@Bryan Fernandez: When I got an original recording of Albott & Costello's Who's on First, the original show was sponsored by Camel. They spoke about the T-zones and home 4 out of 5 doctors smoke Camels. This ad would have likely dated from that time period.
@HiPwr: Back in the dark ages, we didn't have car seats to worry about. I'm guessing some people didn't worry much about diapers, either.
@Cant_stop_the_rock: Our wonderful administration thinks it is no big deal and that you should be over it by now.
-Everyone say "cheese" when Air Force One flys over.
@600Followers_GitEmSteveDave: It's the Colorforms approach to child safety seats: place a naked child on vinyl upholstery and it will take a huge effort to peel him back off.
Narrator: A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential locks up. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.
Business woman on plane: Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents?
Narrator: You wouldn't believe.
Business woman on plane: Which car company do you work for?
Narrator: A major one.
This quote just NEVER GETS OLD.
I am Jack's toasty Pinto.
Why can't we see bigger versions of these ads?????? I'd like to actually read the writing.
@Cant_stop_the_rock: yeah that WTC ad was kinda messed up. I mean, if it was an ad that had nothing to do with people dying, thats fine, but still...it has so many bad connotations...the fact that no one was able to evacuate, fire, two hours vs the short span of time for the buildings to collapse..not a fan.
Also the Dean PSA was sad, but you would think they would air it especially because of how he died...
@Cant_stop_the_rock: The ad is more about the irony of Asbestos, but yeah.
Eh, I chuckled a little at the Asbestos, and didn't really react to the 9/11 reference.
"If your family had a Corvair and didn't die in it, please be sure to go on about that in comments because that disproves everything."
NO ONE who drove the Corvair properly ever died from any of the supposed flaws with it.
NO ONE
The idea the care was critically flawed was purposely pursued by Nader in making it do things the car was never designed to do
Thats like saying "HEY this 50 pound tested hook couldnt hold 100 pounds its flawed."NO the person putting 100 pounds on it is a moronic jackass.
And we wont even go into the fact that the car had been redesigned by the point the book came out and was even safer.
But hey you know lets pick on the Corvair, because you know its not like no other cars had the same suspension as it.... OH WAIT THE VOLKSWAGEN BEETLE DID.As well as ALL cars of the era had ridged steering wheels.
The ONLY criticism of the car that was valid, was a shitty designed heater system, but again it relyed on people not maintaining their cars properly to cause a problem to occur.
@600Followers_GitEmSteveDave: I love the Pinto, sadly. I would drive it if it weren't a death trap. Reminds me of my 81 Honda. I love the 70's look cars, from the late 60's to the very early 80's (before they tried to make everything futuristic).
@600Followers_GitEmSteveDave:
O
M
G
Both did get you skinny and curbed hunger. It's the "chewy" part that sets them apart.
@hunter3742: When Dow bought Union Carbide, they sure reaped the benefits of their assets. Why should the liabilities not also be inherited?
@Jim Topoleski: Next you'll tell us that Dateline using pyrotechnics to simulate/duplicate/enhance the visual of what could possibly happen on side mounted fuel tanks wasn't truthful. Or that Firestone tires blowing b/c people ran them underinflated was not really Firestones fault. blasphemy!
@valleyval: Yes, we should go back to 1998 and prevent them from making that commercial!
Sorry, but I don't think it's creepy or prophetic. It's after the fact whogivesashit.
just think in 40 or 50 years from now someone will show ad's from our time saying " what were they thinking"