Oh God... the hair.

whoa she teleported

Creepy doesn't even begin to describe this.

@ptkdude: Oh God, the everything!

Terrible.. inDEED.

@panzerschreck1: I thought so too, but then I realized it was just the buffering. :-)

It may seem as if the video takes itself a little too seriously, encouraging pleasant professional behavior from employees isn't a bad thing. However, if you're going to expect a whole new persona which makes the employee "one with the company", you had better plan to pay your employees very generously.

By any chance, is this balloon company a subsidiary of Wolfram & Hart?

Am I the only one with a fear of popping balloons? There is no way I could ever work so close to the evil little things.

"Let's review some interesting facts about balloons and gas."

I guess I can cross that one off my list of sentences I never expected to hear someone say.

WOW! And I thought this was another one of those "Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!" Cinco adverts... or even a "Look Around You" clip... until I saw that it was actually real!

Qualatex Main Site: [www.qualatex.com]

Qualatex Training Site: [www.thequalatexevent.com]

@DovS:

I've never understood this attitude. I've always done my best in my jobs, even the low paying ones. I'd be embarrassed to do any less.

Is that their headquarters building in the background?

Up!

I just the mother of all flashbacks! I had that girl's hairdo in 1989. And I delivered balloon bouquets part-time in college. But I didn't appear in these videos nor was I forced to watch them. My boss lady was an independent business owner, not a franchisee.

@missdona: My friend has the same fear. Somethign to do with sudden attention drawn to him.

Volume 4?!? Apparently volumes 1-3 didn't do the job. . .

@missdona: OMG Me too. I'm better about it now but it takes a lot of effort for me not to cry or run away. My balloon fear started when I was a baby according to my parents.

I can't believe I'm admitting about the crying thing. Man, I'm a wuss.

Back in the 70s we all did a lot of Quaalatex ®- the Chewable Methaqualone!, hung around in hot tubs, and wore way too much spandex.

@SnowingCookies: SKEERY.
Did youn feel my persona on that one??

@Cant_stop_the_rock: plus ive never planned on what actions to take "in the event of stray balloons"

The last time I saw 80's outfits that bad, was in this video. You have to love thin ties. CAUTION: It's addictive.

@BoardShortin'_GitEmSteveDave: Well that was just mean. I mean I just couldn't stop watching it and its so dumb... but I just can't stop!

@BoardShortin'_GitEmSteveDave: You're in a recording studio. Do you really need to wear a button down shirt and tie?

"You are at one with the company"? Hmmm....sounds like you won't have your own "persona" long. Geezzz......

@Homerjay here for OxyClean!: A thin tie!

@chipslave: Think that was bad? Listen to Kelly as bread becomes "bwead".

@Cant_stop_the_rock: NEver mind the fact that no such topic was covered.

@pixiegirl1: Sounds like SOMEONE didn't develop their persona.

How has no one mentioned the first girl to say "Happy Birthday"?

I mean, she sounds like she's planning to eat your soul for your present!

@Cant_stop_the_rock: Hence, why companies continue to be perfectly willing to pay people far below the poverty level for back-breaking labor.

@Radi0logy:
If I think the job requirements do not match the pay, or if I think I can do better, then I don't take the job. But when I take a job, I do it to the best of my abilities.

Not surprisingly, that has worked out very well for me.

@savdavid: Resistance is futile.

@DovS: By any chance, is this balloon company a subsidiary of Wolfram & Hart?

The Senior Partners consider the quality of one's smile a very important factor for one's long term employment.

The host lady looks a lot like Stacy Mistycyn, aka Caitlin Ryan of Degrassi Junior High.

I'm enough of a comic book geek that I looked at the lady in the thumbnail pic and thought

"I am Miss Oatlash, and you have just booked yourself a seat in hell!"

Having worked as a national sales manager for a manufacturer distributing products through a dealer network, I am all too familiar with the importance of product presentation. After all, at the dealers is where most of the interaction with our products will happen.

I used to visit dealers nationwide, on an ongoing basis, to check up on displays, pricing, sales staff knowledge, and to introduce new selling points we wanted the customers to be aware of, etc.

When the president of the company wanted a change in the way our product was presented, I would be the one calling the dealers and explaining, visiting them, and producing quick training vids to post on the dealer access web page. Maybe nothing this goofy, but along those lines. Then again, balloons are all a little goofy to begin with, so it goes with the territory. Oh, and never did I ask my salespersons or dealers to make themselves transparent. That's kind of creepy.

"you as a person can just be invisible"... because here at Beautiful Balloons, you're not good enough. We need you to be way more creepy and borderline psychotic.

This is more subtle than Nurse Ratched's approach.

I thought I was getting RickRolled there for a minute.

I hope Mike's children never have to see this. Happy Birthday indeed.

@bennilynn: The Senior Partners are also interested in determining one's ability to control an event. This is a skill which is likely to predict advancement opportunity in W&H. That or the willingness to give up one's soul, which these people clearly already have.

@missdona: Hey, me too! Balloons are sudden loud noises waiting to happen, and I really don't like sudden loud noises (not to a phobic level, fortunately). I think they're pretty en masse from a distance, though.

Eleven strategies and a funny voice?

Screw that shit. Just give me my balloons!

@Summermodoin'_GitEmSteveDave:

That was very weird!

@ptkdude: the horror

@missdona: Yes, but that's because my best friend growing up had a sadistic older brother who loved to sneak up behind people and pop balloons next to their heads.

I now loathe balloons.

This seems like a sketch right out of Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!

Alright, let's see if I can hit the Qualatex checklist of "Good things to do at a birthday party.

*Walks in. Smiles. Pulls a gun.*

"I am from Beautiful FREAKING balloons and I will be CONTROLLING this event."

*Walks up to nearest child*

"Take these balloons or so help me I will burn this (house, boat, hot air balloon, military base) to the GROUND! Now, you feel special RIGHT NOW. NOW."
(That's what they meant by "MAKE them feel special, right? Right?)

"Happy Birthday. I'm from Beatiful Balloons, buy our crap."

*Breaks into singing "Happy Birthday" while herding everyone to one corner of the room away from the windows and painting over the security cameras, curtseying roughly every 5 seconds throughout*

(At any point in this event if someone says something to the extent of "You'll never get away with this!", take them aside and kindly explain it's just your persona, who happens to be John Dillinger)

As you begin to leave, flash a smile back towards your huddled guests and begin to laugh maniacally.

Congratulations, you can work at Beautiful Balloons!

@missdona:

The Qualatex website addresses your fears, Missdona. Do not fear balloons. Qualatex is your friend. [www.qualatex.com]